Chapter 14 part 2
*Re-cap*
I took the hand he extended and was suddenly sucked into what felt like a wind tunnel.
The small patch of light grew bigger until it showed a girl hooked up to lots of machines, lying on a neat bed in a white room. Two boys stood at the end of her bed, one with blonde hair one with dark, and they seemed to be arguing about something, but before I could tell what they were arguing about I crashed fast.
I sat up in the bed with a gasp, my hand clutching my chest as I drew in deep breaths. In one single motion both of the guys stopped arguing and turned to look at me, like I had just performed a miracle. Despite the pain shooting through my chest and stomach I tried my best to grin, and I guess I did okay as they smiled back and rushed over. Tears fell from my eyes as I stared up at the two men I loved and Daniel gently wiped them away and kissed my forehead.
“Welcome back”
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It’s been three weeks since then. Four weeks since I almost died, if you count the week I spent unconscious. I think I did die. They had to restart my heart twice whilst I was in my dream world, but my body recovered quickly enough. It’s a shame my mind doesn’t seem to be as resilient. They’re saying I hallucinated, that I’m suffering from temporary post traumatic stress, but I know what I saw, I know what happened. I could dismiss the red-headed guy and the beautiful planes off as a dream but I just know the rest of it is real.
This ‘real world’ is like a parallel universe. Everything is normal but apparently nothing important had happened on my birthday except finding my Mate. I have no idea what’s going on, but I’m torn between wanting things to go back to how they should be, and wanting things to stay as they seem to be.
See, what I know is real – what HAS to be real – is that Matty and Hannah are my best friends, and we’ll always be together. That Junior Alpha is my mate but he loves Han and I love Matty. That Matty and I made love and Daniel found out and almost killed us both – me by accident, Matty on purpose - but apparently nothing important like that happened on my birthday. Nothing except finding out that Junior Alpha is my mate.
The story - according to everyone I ask about what happened that day - is that I’d tripped in class so Daniel took me to the nurse, and Matty had spray-painted and crashed a car and got detention for it, but it was as if Matty hadn’t kissed me, we hadn’t spent the night together, and I hadn’t found out that my best friend is in love with my Mate. This is so frustrating that soon I think I’ll need a wig to cover all my bald patches from tearing my hair out. I want to scream or yell but there’s no-one who’ll listen, and everyone thinks I’m half mad as it is without me rambling about this again.
I can’t even talk to my two best friends about it because they haven’t been visiting since the first week after I ‘woke’. Hannah only came the once whilst I was conscious and she left quickly after I asked about the bandages on her hand which she avoided answering. Matty came quite a few times, and I think he would be here now if Daniel hadn’t warned him off.
You see, the last time Matthew was here I’d been crying about Hannah not visiting, so Matty had cradled me in his arms and softly stroked my hair until I’d fallen asleep curled up on his lap. I’d woken as the ward doors opened and Matty gently kissed my forehead and lay me down on the bed. I’d peeked open one eye just in time to see Matty step past Daniel into the hallway and Daniel quietly closed the door as he stepped out after him. Had I been asleep I would have woken up then as they shouted at each other so loud the other patients in here started to wake. Although I couldn’t catch most of what they were saying I knew it was about me. My heart constricted in my throat and I had to swallow down my fears.
Through the curtained windows into the hallway I could see a silhouette walk up to Daniel and Matty and say something. They were both silent whilst the third person spoke, then the slightly taller of my two guys – most likely Daniel – nodded and the third person walked off. They stood still for a moment and I didn’t hear a noise until suddenly the one I assume to be Daniel leaned in, and I barely heard a whisper of his words even with my enhanced hearing.
Matthew tried to protest but Daniel interrupted him with words I couldn’t hear and harshly gestured something with his hands. After a pause Matty bowed slightly then turned on his heel and walked off. After a minute of standing there, whilst I stared at his siloheutte through the window with a thumping heart and a sickness in my stomach, Daniel turned around and walked back towards my ward. I sat up and grabbed a book randomly from my nightstand as Daniel opened the door and looked at me with a smile.
“You’re awake” he stated as he walked over to me, and I nodded with a smile and turned back to my book. Daniel sat on the bed next to me and silently stroked my hair, but although I felt the sparks and felt content from being near my mate I longed for Matty’s large but gentle hands to be the ones that were stroking my hair off my forehead, and for it to be Matty sitting next to me, not Daniel. I decided in that silent hour that I couldn’t go on like this, and one way or the other I’d have to hurt one of the only two men I love in order to save him.
That was two weeks ago, and after a lot of tests and physiotherapy, my doctors decided it was okay for me to finally go home, so long as I took my medicine, went to physiotherapy and took care of myself. You know, the usual requirements. I picked up a top and folded it neatly as Daniel silently opened the ward doors and walked over to me with a smile. Every time he comes to visit me in here he’d bring me flowers, and sure enough he had another bunch of flowers, which he put on my cubicle’s nightstand before giving me a hug and a peck on the lips.
“Hey babe.” He greeted me as he pulled back. I smiled slightly and wriggled out of his arms so I could walk around to the other side of the bed and continue packing.
“Hey yourself.” I replied. He sat down on the bed and watched me as I silently packed my stuff away into the two small suitcases my parents had brought in for me. The silence was starting to feel oppressive as I could feel his eyes on me, so I walked over and placed my phone in my ipod dock on the nightstand and hit shuffle. Music burst out of my phone making me jump, and Daniel and I laughed as I turned it down to a reasonable volume and kept packing.
It didn’t take me long to pack up the rest of my stuff, though with all the presents people had bought for me it was a lot more difficult than I’d thought it would be. The doctor came around to see me as I was packing, to double-check everything was okay and to remind me of my physiotherapy sessions, and then he signed a sheet and I was free to go.
The car ride home was silent and I wearily got out of the car after he parked up on my street near my house. I grabbed my bag and was about to take one of my suitcases from the back when Daniel said he had it. I smiled and opened the front door to let him in. He bustled past and once I’d closed the door he followed me upstairs to my bedroom and plonked the suitcases down near my desk. With a weary sigh I sat down on my bed with my legs crossed, my shoulders slumped forward and my forearms resting on my thighs.
I still haven’t managed to decide what I want to do - stay with my Mate in the hope that I'll soon forget about Matty and be able to get on with my life, or reject my mate because I'll never truely be his whilst I still love Matty. I don't want to lead Matty on, but I also don't want to hurt him by saying those three little words - “I reject you”. Three words so seemingly simple yet so dangerous. I’ve never met a female wolf who’s survived rejection on her own, and since Matty hasn’t come back to see me I can only assume he no longer loves me, or whatever crap that was. I angrily wipe the tears from my eyes and force on a smile as Daniel plonks himself down next to me.
“What’s up babe?” he asked me with worry in his voice. I should have known he’d see through my happy facade. Then again, I was just crying in front of him. I turned my head and smiled softly at him, reaching my hand up to brush along his cheek.
“Nothing. It’s just … I’m just worried about school, Y’know? I mean what if everyone thinks I’m crazy because I say something about one of my .. hallucinations? I can’t tell what’s real and what’s not anymore.” I decided to tell him part of the truth as that was the safest thing I could tell him that was on my mind. I turned my head from him and looked out of my window. The street looked silent and the night sky looked lonely, the stars twinkling silently around the moon. I felt rather than saw Daniel staring at me.
“No-one would do that. You’ve been through a lot, everyone understands that.” My head snapped up and I resisted the urge to place my hands on my hips as I look at him in amusement and annoyed disbelief.
“Is that why Matty and Han haven’t been back to see me? Since I’ve so obviously been through so much?” I was almost glaring at him now, the anger I’ve been suppressing since the first day I woke up from my dream world in the hospital, finally coming to the surface, and I’m sure my amused disbelief showed too.
“Look, that’s .. It’s nothing to do with you okay? It’s just .. they’ve been busy and .. they just couldn’t come see you. I’m sure they would have, but between Hannah getting a new job and Matty finding his mate there hasn’t been much –“
“What?” I whispered. Daniel shut his mouth and stared at me in a way that made me think he didn’t mean to say that – whatever he’d said. I can’t have heard him right.
“Hannah has a new job” He looked in my eyes and I could see pity. “and .. Matthew’s found his mate.” He almost sounded sorry as he told me, and if I didn’t know this was what he’d wanted then I would have believed it.
I felt like my heart wasn’t even there anymore. It was just some black hole in my chest, yanking and tearing everything around it. Icy fire spread through my entire body until I felt consumed by it. I wasn’t even aware of anything around me. Sounds, images, smells, touches - they didn’t make sense. I realized I was struggling to breath but I almost didn’t have the strength to try. What would be the point in the end?
My Mate, the one I’m supposed to love forever and always, is lying to me and is the reason – I’m sure of it – that neither of my best, and really, only, friends have come to visit me more than a handful of times, and my best friend –the man I love – he’s .. He’s found the one he’s destined to be with. He’s no longer mine, and I should no longer be his.
A sharp, hot tingle spread from my lips and I found myself returning the pressure as the fire faded away under this more powerful feeling. When the pressure disappeared I gasped huge breaths, my hand automatically reaching up to clench my shirt near my chest. My gaze snapped up and I saw Daniel’s face inches from mine and he was panting heavily.
“I couldn’t see you go through that! You – you weren’t listening so I had to – I’m sorry I invaded your space, but you weren’t – He doesn’t deserve you.” Daniel stumbled over his words, looking at me pleadingly but also with a kind of anger that mad me think if Matty was here even I wouldn’t be able to stop Daniel from finishing what he’d tried to do. I traced my lips with my fingers as my eyes roamed over each of the features on my Mate’s face before resting on his lips.
“I – I think you should go” I said as I looked up from his lips to his eyes. He looked hurt for a moment but then he nodded and leaned down to kiss my forehead.
“Okay sweetheart. I’ll be round tomorrow after school, you get some rest okay?” He threw me a quick smile before he left the room closing the door after him. I sighed and threw myself back on my bed just as the first few tears started to fall and I let them. Eventually I was all cried out so I got up and changed into my pyjamas, then I turned off the light and curled up in bed. After a few minutes of tossing and turning I finally managed to drift off into dreams filled with Matty and a faceless girl repeatedly breaking my heart.
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A/n Sorry it's been so long. Hopefully I'll be able to write a bit more in the next couple weeks, but I don't see many updates coming in the foreseeable future :(
For those who keep asking, yes she will reject her mate - eventually. This story is about her finding her mate, figuring things out, realizing what it is she really wants and eventually the rejection of her mate and dealing with the consequences and aftermaths of that. I know most of you are getting impatient but please bare with me, and thank you for hanging on so far :D
If you don't want to have to wait then I won't hold it against you. There are plenty other stories out there that get to the rejection within the first couple chapters, but I'm far too long-winded and I want to show you what it might be like for someone if it really happened. :)
Please comment and let me know what you think