CHAPTER 26
THREE MINUTES UNTIL WE BURN UP
This time, finding his way to the loading bay was easier for Sennai. As he approached its entry, the imposing silvered door remained shut.
"Open up". ordered Sennai.
"No", said the door.
"Open up!" bellowed Sennai, his patience running thin.
"No, I refuse," came the reply.
"Why, damn you?"
"Because you forced me open last time when I didn't want to. You may or may not have noticed, but I'm a self-regulating, state-of-the-art portal, therefore I should open when I want to, or am programmed to. My upgrades are all in order and hence I am not your ageing hinge and lock, archaic wooden mechanism. They didn't have a mind or personality of their own, and opened at will, exactly when anyone wanted them to. I do not. My servo-engineering has undergone seventeen enhancements and an extremely lengthy research and development process. Add to all of that, I am a security door and responsible in many ways for the safety of this ship - which not only means even more complex algorithms on my creators' part to make doubly sure I don't open when I'm not supposed to - but also means I own and maintain a triple strength cypher-lock to keep me shut when I require to stay shut. A cypher-lock, I might add, that is steadfastly secured now. All this means I will remain fully sealed for the present because necessity dictates it. So, in summary, I'm sorry Captain, not only can I not open... but I will not open".
The door opened.
"Thanks, Tzkk," said Sennai.
***
Inside the loading bay Zero the giant chrome robot remained resolute beside the Eggkraft, occupying the same position Sennai left him a short while ago.
"Is the old chicken around?" asked Sennai.
"Dik..." said Zero, "is in the goo... d for nothing Eggkraft, with the Earthling."
"Good for nothing?"
"He has problems," said Zero.
"With his ship?"
"With... himself. And... his hips. Ship."
"With the ship?" questioned Sennai.
"Yesso click, whirr... Correction. Oh yes."
Sennai smiled sympathetically at the mass of shining electroplate.
"They've been... inside a tongue lime, long time. Very quiet," the robot informed him.
"Well, I'd better go and check he's alright. Anyone his age could quickly fall ill."
"Good..." said Zero, "Correction... bye."
"See you."
Sennai could hear mumbled, disgruntled noises coming from within. Then a voice.
"Come in Captain, the hatchway's down."
"What a lovely name for a door to an Eggkraft!" mused Sennai.
He rounded the ovoidal vehicle until he reached a small door open at the back. Metal steps extended to its innards. He climbed up and entered, walking tentatively inside amidst a mass of multi-coloured wires and transparent tubing that hung from a variety of ceiling vents. Amongst and behind these was a dazzling array of blinking lights and switches. He reached Tzkk who sat cross-legged on the floor, his feathered cloak hanging on a nearby chair. A book lay on his lap entitled Eggkraft for Dummies.
Tzkk's earthly companion Duke sat on a small square stool nearby with another manual showing 101 Ways to Insult Technology printed down the spine.
"Problems?" offered Sennai.
"None I couldn't work out given three StarDates, one more Loop, and an additional dose of omnipotence beyond what I already possess," replied Tzkk.
"I thought you would have left us by now?"
"I will very soon Captain, but I have to get you and Duke fully acquainted. Did you read through the Galactic Club codebook I gave you?"
"Sort of. Not much to it is there," shrugged Sennai.
"If you say so. It's important you understand it."
"Indeed."
"And did you watch the holovid?" quizzed Tzkk.
"Aha," Sennai lied.
"In that case, you appear ready then Captain. The choice appears to be a good one."
Sennai ignored the statement and flicked his head towards Duke.
"So, is he the Specimen Alien referred to in the codebook?"
"Hey!" Duke threw the textbook he was holding across the floor, spinning it into a corner. "I'm no alien," he huffed, "that's you guys."
"We're all alien to each other Duke, none of us better than the other. It's an official term, no disrespect is intended. Isn't that true Captain?" Tzkk turned to Sennai as he said this, and his beak formed a smile. His eyes appeared surprisingly warm for a chicken-creature.
"Indeed," confirmed Sennai, as he mulled over Tzkk's words and let them sink in. Sennai had always considered himself better than those around him, but this All-Powerful being's kindly persona and softly spoken phrases had surprisingly struck a chord in him, providing Sennai with a newly altered view of his surroundings. Tzkk spoke again.
"Yes, all of us are different, and none of us are better than the other."
None of us better than the other.
Appropriating this phrase might help Sennai in his regular performance management reviews.
"So, what am I supposed to do?" interrupted Duke.
"Help the Captain. Be his advisor when it comes to your planet and your species. The Induction needs to go as smoothly as possible. To be a true success, having you on call to answer questions and provide guidance will be of huge benefit. You have already accepted our existence... and carried on. We want the rest of Earth to do the same."
"How can I be the one answering questions..." sighed Duke, "when I have so many to ask myself?"
"A fair point. Okay, let's do a couple from you then," offered Tzkk.
He put his own instruction manual carefully on the floor. Outside of this engine room there was the occasional tick of metal as the Eggkraft's hull reached ambient temperature. A few wires still swayed gently from being brushed aside to gain entry. As the silence mounted it became clear Duke that was filtering heavily to make the most of this opportunity.
"Okay," he started finally, "why do you do all of this?"
"This what?"
"Why do bother to spend the time bringing new planets into your realm? Why Induct, and not leave all of us to just find out and fend for ourselves?"
"A good first question Duke. So, if we do the Induction effectively, it provides structure and minimizes conflict."
"How does it minimize conflict?"
"Well, mainly by offering expanded trade and lifestyle opportunities. In the same way I'm sure some of your dominant species colonized other parts of your world, we try to bring a better life and provide superior prospects for your species."
"Colonization! Oh dear. That hasn't gone very well for us on Earth, Tzkk. Colonization became mostly subjugation. That doesn't sound good at all."
"Thank you for the feedback and I understand. And perhaps when taken in the wrong context, this type of process can go wrong. We're always learning, and now try to move smoothly, very calmly from explorers to envoys... but never on towards direct rule."
"I'm really not convinced Tzkk."
"You'll have to trust me on it Duke. We're very good at it now."
"Hmm. Another connected question, you've mentioned a few times this is a migrant ship. What do you mean by that, and how do migrants fit into all of this?"
"We have various classes of vessels in the fleet. A Fleet Migrant Ship such as this is deliberately crewed by the widest variety of species, typically taken from the inside edges of Laniakea, often from star systems that are in very small or loosely coupled galaxies."
"On GCF-10068 our diversity is our strength," put in Sennai, proud and rehearsed. "It's the one thing we all have in common."
He was pleased with his soundbite. And now, thanks to Tzkk's presence he was actually starting to believe it.
"Indeed Captain, and you are all better together," confirmed Tzkk.
"So, what about my planet Earth then? Would we all be considered migrants, with us also being on the inner edge?" offered Duke.
"Not quite. Earth is on the real outer edge. Your solar system is very outlying, and you'd normally be considered exiles at this point."
"Exiles, not even migrants yet? Ha! So, if we're that far away, how do you get to monitor us?"
"Remotely," said Tzkk flatly.
"How?" persisted Duke.
"The Galactic Club code says we're not allowed to visit, or drop down to your planet, until you are ready. So, we monitor your broadcasts and look for very distinctive remote signals."
"Like what?"
"Early signs of off-world travel mainly. Manned trips to the planets within your own solar system. That's the easiest clue to spot, and a great indicator of progress."
"But I told you, we haven't been to any other planets yet, just our Moon, and a few unmanned probes elsewhere. You've made a mistake."
"Well, this is part of the mystery Duke. None of your public broadcasts mention it, but we have proof that you have completed manned trips to other planets. I've seen it with my own eyes. And the fact that you are truthfully telling me that you know nothing about it means something else is going on. Add all of that... to your Cambrian Explosion, and you are from one very interesting planet."
"I don't know," said Duke, "I'm sure you're mistaken. Everyone on Earth would know if we'd visited other planets. The only thing I've heard you get right so far about my planet, is that we worship beer!"
"Ah yes, the PPO."
Tzkk reopened his book Eggkraft for Dummies.
"It's very good to hear. Well, I shall be well away soon. Off to the other side of the Tannhauser Gate, visiting the Pleasure Planet of Pluvia, swimming with the mermaids as the C-beams glitter in the dark..." he sighed. "As soon as I can fix this awful spaceborne contraption."
Sennai had listened to the two of them talk, interpreting very little as having any immediate impact on his newly assigned mission. Seeing the consternation on Tzkk's face as he flipped through the manual in his lap he decided to interject.
"What's the problem?"
"In complex engineering terms Captain, my Eggkraft won't start."
"I see. Well, we've got a small problem as well, but nothing we can't handle."
"What small problem?"
"We've picked up a distress call from Braevitchka Four. Somewhere near the Proltoid's monastic headquarters."
"Is it the Jockey Monks?"
"We're not sure, but as we're going there, we thought we'd investigate to see if there's a reward... er, to... to, to experience the reward of saving lives."
"It will be your good deed Captain and I'm sure that will bode well in your staff reviews. I'll spend the time filling Duke in a little bit more. And it's good to hear from our earthman that beer will make a great Peacefulness and Primacy Offering. I assume we are still collecting this?"
"Of course."
"Will there be a delay to the destiny?"
"Yes and no."
"How do you mean?
"It's just that..." Sennai paused.
"Come on Captain. What?"
"Part of our computer has gone on... strike."
"Strike!"
"I'm afraid so."
"Why?" He paused. "Actually... don't bother telling me, it will be a long story. I've got enough to do here. Duke, do you mind picking that manual back up. Having you here a bit longer is helping me. Carry on Captain, I'm sure you know what you're doing. I'll send Duke through once we have this Eggkraft running smoothly again. You have your destiny now. Although getting into planetary orbit without a main computer will be a little tricky."
Sennai stood for a moment but could sense the old feathery fowl had moved on, with a focus on getting his own vessel fixed.
"I just thought you should know," he said finally, turning to leave.
"Thank you," said Tzkk, lifting his eyes back to Sennai.
"Did you know Captain, I changed the tachyon oil in this craft an annum ago. When I checked it again just now, it was still green. That's amazing."
"It is amazing," said Sennai, "our tachyon oil isn't green".
"Oh dear," muttered Tzkk.
***
Sennai returned to the bridge. As the lift door slipped open, the first glimpse he caught was Taroooc. The two eyes across his wide forehead were bleary, with the third behind his skull not being visible very likely in a similar state.
"You look rough. Fancy a drink?"
"Ha ha," grumbled Taroooc. "You know I don't have the metabolism for it."
"You're my Wellness Officer. Are you well enough to resume normal service?"
"I am able to resume a service, I'm not guaranteeing it will be either well or normal".
Despite his pride in their diversity, a truly normal service from any member of his crew was a luxury Sennai knew to be a rarity.
"Captain, we're about to drop out of superluminal drive and go into pre-orbiting manoeuvres," reported Walta.
"Okay, good. Places everyone. Don't forget, we've got no main computer, so we're on manual. Standard procedures and no mistakes please. Sound action stations Deluxia."
"Jip jip, wap wap."
"Jip jip, wap wap."
"On second thoughts, drop that. Let's just ensure there are no cock-ups on this manoeuvre."
The deep blue hue that had dominated the bridge's immense screen deadened as faint starry mist passed before the front of the ship. There was a palpable sense of deceleration.
As they dropped to subluminal the astral mist cleared to reveal distinct stars and a predominantly grey and white planet that loomed large as it began sweeping across this frontal display. The crew turned dials, clicked keyboards and pressed buttons, for once exuding professional confidence.
Sennai sat in his chair and surveyed his migrant crew.
"All different and no one better than the other," he repeated quietly to himself. "And we're better together."
"Orbit entry is calculated as seventeen degrees wide," announced the ship's navigator, studying the readout from an auxiliary display.
"Thank you, Walta. In which case let me ask you to execute a seventeen degree turn to starboard," requested Sennai, trying on a new lighter management style.
In response, Walta smiled, nodded and turned a silver notched dial, then clicked a small screen button.
"Seventy degree turn initiated," he reported.
There was a pause.
"Say again!" snapped Sennai.
"Seventy degree turn to starboard initiated Captain."
"I said seventeen. Seventeen!"
"Er... I don't think you did."
"Seventeen, Walta. Seven. Teen! Why would I ask for seventy degrees when you informed me that we were seventeen off course."
The light management style had dropped instantly. Sennai was now back to shouting.
"I presumed you knew something I didn't Captain," cowered Walta. "I distinctly heard you say seventy. I've had my ears syringed..."
"I don't care! Change it," yelled Sennai.
"Well, obviously that's impossible for approximately thirty seconds, until the last manoeuvre has been effected. It's a failsafe upgrade that..."
"Impossible? What the f..."
Taroooc interrupted. "We're heading for the planet's mesosphere. Approximately three minutes until we burn up. External hull temperature already increasing."
"Burn up. Burn up! Taroooc!"
The ship charged on. Outside a red mist of heat began framing a blazing wedge across its giant leading sphere.
They were very quickly encroaching the fringes of the planet's outer atmosphere at the wrong angle. The associated extreme heating process and charged particles triggered temperatures far exceeding any tolerance for which this lower budget migrant ship had been designed.
Outside, molecules collided with molecules creating vast amounts of thermal energy. Inside, bodies collided with bodies creating vast amounts of fear and frenzy.
"For Mabel's sake!" gasped Sennai. "This could actually be it."