12. Are There Still Beautiful Things?
"my heart is so full of you, i can hardly call it my own."
☾
"GET YOUR ASS UP." Tara tugged on Dani's arm.
"Why? What if I want to spend the day on the floor?"
"I will toss you over my shoulder."
Dani raised a taunting brow. "Is that something you're capable of?"
"Wanna find out?"
Letting her pull her to her feet, she shot her a glare, making Tara chuckle. The group walked out the house, heading down the streets to explore the community like they'd been told to. Every house in that place was huge, beautiful; the epitome of the American Dream.
"You never told me what your job was." Dani pointed out, bumping her hip with Tara's.
"Runner. Go out. Get supplies and stuff. Same as Glenn, Lucia and Noah." She smiled.
"That's great!" Dani exclaimed. She really was happy for her. However, the nagging voice in her mind that pointed out her absence of a role was ruining the mood. "Do you think she hasn't told me my job because she doesn't want me here?" Dani asked nervously. The thought had been plaguing her since the night before.
"Not a chance. You're gonna be fine."
"She's exiled people before. What if I'm who she chooses to go next?"
"Dani, if she made you leave, I'd be leaving with you." Tara said, her voice firm. "So would Lucia."
"We all would." Maggie said as she passed, giving her a comforting smile. Dani sighed a heavy breath, her thoughts a conflicted mess, until Tara tapped her arm, alerting her of Deanna's approach. She smiled the same friendly smile as she stood in front of them, her eyes landing on Dani.
"Can I speak to you a moment?" She asked.
Dani nodded and parted from her friends as Deanna led them over to a bench. They sat beside each other, Dani's heart racing in her chest at the possibility of being thrown out of here and ruining it for the others. Judith and Carl... They were supposed to be safe here. If I destroy everything good they've just gained... But when Deanna's hand patted her own, she paused, letting her breath catch up to her.
"You look so worried. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." She nodded. "What's up?"
"Well, me and Maggie have been talking and we think this place could benefit from some nurtured gardens. We've never had anyone round here with much of a green thumb but between her work on her farm and your florist career, I think you can both really care for the crops we grow."
Relief washed over her body. Unable to control her smile, she beamed at the woman and nodded. "I'd love to." In truth, she had missed taking care of her plants. She was grateful to get back to it.
"Excellent." Deanna grinned and stood. "I'll see you around, Danica."
"Deanna?" She stopped her before she walked too far. "You can call me Dani." She smiled softly.
Nodding gently, the woman walked away, replaced quickly by Tara who had been waiting to the side.
"Everything okay?" She asked, offering a hand that Dani gratefully took.
"I'm a gardener." She smiled. Tara beamed and opened her arms that Dani jumped into, her excitement a refreshing change from how off she had been since Terminus. Tara held her close, taking in the scent of strawberries as she thrived under her warmth and the feeling of their bodies pressed together.
"I told you so." She muttered, her face over Dani's shoulder.
The woman grinned and shook her head before pulling back. "Shut up." She said.
"You shut up."
☾
Back at the house, after Rick had left, Lucia had sat opposite Daryl, her brow raised.
"There a reason you're being all anti-social?" She asked.
"When was I considered social?" He said, chewing on his bottom lip.
"Fair enough." She looked out at the clear streets, the sun bringing a smile to her face.
"Ya like it here?" Daryl asked, his brow raised.
"I do. I think it could be good for us. Do you?"
"Don't matter. As long as you and the others are happy."
Lucia passed him the rag as he gestured for it, a soft smile on her face. "You know, Daryl, I think you act scarier than you are."
"That right?"
"Mhm. I think you don't want people to realise you're actually a softie."
He paused his movements. "I ain't soft."
"Sure, you're not."
Daryl shook his head with a grunt, clearly having had enough of this discussion. A silence fell over the two and Lucia sighed to fill it. "You wanna explore with me?"
"Nah. I'll stay here." He told her, his eyes remaining on the floor.
"If you're sure." She descended the porch steps, making her way down the street. Following the route of Rosita, she patted Dani's arm as she passed, on her way to find Michonne.
Dani observed a canvas in a garage. The painting had only just begun, but she could just about make out the faint sketch in pencil.
It was a girl. Her side profile to be exact. She sat with her legs drawn up to her chest, her eyes on something off the canvas.
The same way she had been sat the night before.
"God, this must look creepy."
Spinning quickly, she was met with that same familiar face she had seen popping up around this place. Light green eyes and pretty smile. Dani raised a brow at her. "So it is me?"
"Yeah... Sorry."
She shook her head. "No, it's beautiful so far. You work fast."
"I was inspired." She shrugged. Sticking out her hand for the woman, she introduced herself. "I'm Violet. Moore."
"Danica. Myers." She told her, mimicking her words.
"Nice to meet you, Danica Myers." Violet said, walking past her to enter the garage.
"You have an interesting workspace." Dani eyed the pile of scrap metal on the ground.
"This is my sister's place." She grinned. "That mess was your guy, Rick's, doing."
"What was it?"
"An owl... I think?"
Dani chuckled at her words and watched her zip from one side of the room to the other with precision, grabbing a small basket full of art supplies and kicking a rolling stool over to her easel. She left the basket on top of the seat before returning to Dani's side, leaning against the door frame. "So what's your deal, Myers?" She asked.
"I don't have a deal."
"How incredibly boring." She tilted her head. When Dani smiled slightly, Violet let her eyes quickly run over the woman before raising a perfect eyebrow. "So you've got no likes? Dislikes? A story prior to this very point in time? I find that hard to believe."
"I have a story. I have likes and dislikes. Even hobbies, if you can believe that." She quipped. "I just don't think I want to share them with the woman who creepily watched me from afar in the dead of night. For like 20 minutes."
Violet smirked slightly at her words. She narrowed her eyes in thought and, with a slight nod, corrected, "30."
"Even worse." She grinned.
Violet's tongue darted across her lower lip as she surveyed her coolly. "You'll get over it."
Dani shrugged, walking backwards away. "Guess we'll find out." She called back, before turning and walking down more identical streets. It was easy to get confused in this place.
Dani found herself stood in the middle of the street, surrounded by pristine looking buildings and not a clue on where to go next. She'd been intending to go back to their house but, being in the safety of the walls, she'd dropped her constant observing nature, just for a moment. As it seemed, it was a moment too soon.
Just as she had decided to double back in an attempt to retrace her steps, the sound of a woman's chuckle, that she knew all too well, caught her attention. She turned in that direction, her lips pursed as she watched Tara try to cover her smile.
"Enjoying the show?"
"Absolutely. I've just never seen you look so clueless." She told her, walking closer to the woman who rolled her eyes in frustration.
"I let my guard down for a split second."
"It's very cute." She smiled, reaching forward to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, once she was in front of her.
"You're the worst." Dani told her, ignoring the goosebumps left by the brush of Tara's fingertips.
"Stop flirting." She teased, holding out her hand. Dani took it with a roll of her eyes and a hidden grin, interlocking their fingers as they walked down the streets.
With their hands swinging between them, the two walked through the suburbs, waving at their new neighbours and laughing at the stupidest jokes they could come up with. This was exactly what she had always wanted. Before the apocalypse, she'd had girlfriends but they were never all that serious. Truthfully, she'd never made time for it to be serious.
Now, though?
Now, she had all the time in the world.
Tara and Dani spent the rest of the day with Rosita and Luci. The four spoke to a few of the residents before going back to the house. They made a game out of opening the books to random pages and assigning the first sentences as their destiny's. It was nonsense, but it was fun.
The evening was the same.
Dani tossed and turned beside Tara, her chest feeling heavy with every breath. She assumed it was all for the same reason as before but a small voice at the back of her mind said there was more to it. Who was she to disagree?
She listened to Rick and Michonne talk before Rick let her know he was taking a walk. The need for fresh air followed quickly, so she jumped up, hurrying past Michonne as she settled on the stairs again and letting the crickets chirp like some kind of white noise.
She sighed. Exhaustion was wearing her down but, even when she tried, she couldn't sleep. It was a never-ending battle. If they really did stay here, she hoped that would fix itself naturally.
The sound of the door opening behind her broke her from her thoughts and she lazily dragged her gaze over her shoulder.
Tara dropped beside her, worry etched in the crinkles between her brows. She didn't speak. Just sat beside Dani, waiting for her to open up.
"Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you." Dani said, her eyes on the houses across the street.
Tara sighed heavily. "You know you don't need to apologise."
"Sorry."
"Dani."
"Right."
A thick silence settled over the two and Dani's nerves returned. She could make out that voices taunts now. That 'something more' was the overwhelming urge to confess every feeling she'd ever felt to Tara. They were taking over. Every time she thought of something interesting she wondered if she should tell Tara, or when she found something good she wondered if Tara would like it.
It was quite honestly embarrassing.
Pushing herself up with a huff, Dani started pacing in front of the steps, a mental tennis match of 'do or don't tell' in her mind.
"What are you doing?" Tara asked, exasperated.
"Thinking."
"You can't think when you're sat here?"
Dani glanced at the spot she had just vacated. In all honesty, she couldn't think rationally in Tara's presence. Not when her heart was always racing when she was close by. Not when she couldn't control her wandering thoughts when she was too far for her liking. "No." She said instead.
"Okay..." Tara stood, stepping into her path way and holding her shoulders so she'd stop.
Dani's skin buzzed with excitement beneath her fingers. "Talk to me, Dani. Or don't. Just yell at me. Or tell me what your favourite kind of sandwich is. Just don't be all quiet. That's not you."
"I can't tell you what's going on in my head. I can barely make sense of it." She lied.
"Okay... So tell me what you do know."
Sensing the subject wasn't going to be dropped anytime soon, she reached up, her hands holding Tara's wrists. She could feel her pulse beneath her fingertips and the feeling was oddly settling. "I don't think I can do all this." She looked at their surroundings pointedly. "I think I might be too far gone. I've been out there a damn long time."
"Dani—" She started.
"You don't have to say anything. I told you what I knew. That's it."
"Don't interrupt me." She requested, softly. "I was going to say that if you were too far gone you wouldn't have even come here in the first place. But you are here. And you're trying. That's all anyone wants."
Dani's eyes locked on Tara's, feeling the weight of her words. With her pounding heartbeat in her chest, her next words came out small, practically a whisper. She'd been holding back the thought since they arrived but it felt so trivial, she didn't want to speak it aloud. "What if no one likes me?"
A smile tugged Tara's lips upwards and her gaze softened. "I think it's impossible not to like you. I'd know."
"You like me?"
"Nah, I'm not a fan." She shrugged, the smile still painted over her lips.
Dani let out a watery laugh. She didn't know when the tears had sprung to her eyes but she didn't care at that point. "Thanks."
"Let's go back inside." She nodded her head in the direction of the door, before following her own direction. The burst of confidence in Dani's chest scared the shit out of her, and yet still she found herself speaking again.
"Tara?" Dani called out, stopping the woman on the first step. Tara turned and, without letting herself second guess, Dani stepped forward. Her eyes darted between Tara's as she leaned in, giving her plenty of time to back away, should she want to, before she planted her lips on hers. Her hands held either side of her face gently, while Tara's hung loosely at her side.
Pulling away, Dani's eyes flitted over her face in an attempt to gauge her reaction. Surprise: that was what she first located. It made a lump form in her throat. What if she read it all wrong? What if this ruins the whole dynamic of the group? She didn't want to ruin anything.
When Tara's slightly parted lips transformed into a full blown beam, a wave of relief washed over her body. "Fucking finally." Tara grinned, cupping Dani's jaw and pulling their lips together again. Butterflies took flight in her stomach, each one making her tremble a little more. Tara moved back, her eyes analysing Dani's features the same way she did to her, before pressing their foreheads together. The grins on their faces never fell as the two soaked up each other's presence.
"Do you know how long I've waited for that?" Tara asked, her voice a whisper.
"I have an idea." She whispered back, her thumb gently running over her cheekbone.
Tara smiled and leaned in again, unable to help herself. At some point, they'd moved to the side of the house, away from being a show for the night owl neighbours, and Dani's back met with the rough cold brick. Tara closed the distance between them, Dani's lips parting slightly to accommodate her tongue. Tara's hand slipped round her waist, pulling her impossibly closer, as her own arms curled over her shoulders, one hand finding a home in Tara's soft brown locks.
It felt like it wasn't really happening. If it weren't for the feel of Tara's racing heart pressed against her own chest, she'd have assumed it was all a dream. A dream of gripping hands on her waist and the vanilla scent of her soap overwhelming her senses. Of kisses that had heat pooling in her stomach.
The door to the house opened again and the two froze, their lips detached but they stayed held up in each other. With her chest rising and falling rapidly with her breath, Dani locked her eyes on the other woman's face, her eyes flitting over each feature. She was looking to the side, waiting to see if whoever left was coming but was ultimately met with silence. "I think it was Rick going back inside." She whispered, finally looking back to Dani.
The woman watched her with awe in her smile, like the sun peeking through the clouds on a Saturday in springtime. "What are you staring at?" Tara chuckled.
Needing no more words, Dani leaned in again placing a light kiss on the tip of her nose, then on her lips again before bringing their foreheads together. "We can go back inside now if you want." She whispered.
"Just when it was getting good, huh?"
Dani chuckled. "We can stay out here. I have zero objections."
Tara grinned but shook her head, pulling Dani's arms from around her neck and interlocking their fingers again. She pressed a kiss to the back of her palm, just because she wanted to feel her warmth once more, before tugging her along side her. "Promise you'll try sleep?"
"I promise."
☾
They had jobs to do the next day. It was their first day of being actual functioning members of this society.
So naturally, that was the day that Dani decided she would grab a couple hours sleep.
Curled up, with her head on Tara's lap, the woman ran her hand through her hair, glancing awkwardly around at some of the others.
"This is the most she's slept in days." Maggie pointed out.
"Yeah there's no way I'm waking her. Deanna can deal with one more day without a gardener." Rosita shook her head.
"I can stay with her. I'll take whatever the fallout is. Tara, run me through everything that happens with the runners today though, okay?" Lucia offered.
"I don't mind. Honestly." She shrugged.
Where everyone else had tried to be quiet, Eugene stomped into the room, standing awkwardly in front of them all. "I do not think Abraham is over my lie. Which is fair enough. But his words to me lately are about as friendly as a bramble bush." He ranted, his voice a much louder volume than theirs.
Rosita slapped his arm lightly, while the others shot him a look. He finally noticed Dani and pressed his lips together. "My apologies. I'll take my business somewhere else and let her sleep."
"Too late." Dani muttered.
Pushing herself up, she glanced around at the people in the room, her brows furrowed. "Were you all just watching me sleep?"
"You haven't done it in a while. Just making sure you're not dead." Rosita smiled.
"You're not that lucky." She beamed, standing and stretching. "I'm gonna go take a shower. You guys have fun!" She called over her shoulder in a sing-song voice.
Lucia glanced between everyone in the room, her brows furrowed slightly. "Does she seem...overly chipper to anyone else?"
"Maybe she just needed sleep." Tara shrugged a shoulder. Rosita narrowed her eyes slightly at her nonchalant response, but stayed quiet.
"She got her job yesterday too. This is a good thing." Maggie nodded. "She could settle here. The sleep is the first step. Even if it was only a couple hours."
Rosita nodded, glancing in the direction Dani left. She loved her. A lot. But, God, if she didn't worry about her sometimes.
☾
"We could do a lot with this space." Dani waved her hand over the general area.
"Dani, we could really change this place. Make it better." Maggie said, her southern twang comforting the other woman. There was something about Maggie that felt homely. Calming.
"You know what? I think we can." She smiled back. Maggie's head snapped to face her, her expression the picture of disbelief. Danica Myers was agreeing that they could make something better.
"Okay, what's going on?" Maggie asked, one brow high up her forehead.
"What? What are you talking about?"
"This." She waved a finger at her face. "Your entire personality has completely flipped. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy you're in a better mindset but... What caused the change?"
Dani shrugged, rifling through the few bags of seeds they had from Alexandria's previous runs. "I'm just happy."
"Well... good." Maggie nodded, slightly lost on how to navigate this. She wasn't sure whether she had the place to implore more on the subject, so instead she asked nothing. She let the girl beam at the tomato seeds and enjoy her life for once. She wasn't weighed down by the past that day. She was hopeful for the future. "I'm gonna go talk to Deanna. I'll be back."
When the gate rattled open again, Dani spun quickly, her eyes landing on the woman she'd missed all day, but instantly it was obvious that something was wrong. Tara's anger was visible even from the distance Dani stood. She noticed the same look on Glenn's, Noah's and Lucia's faces as they stormed inside.
"You four need new gigs." The voice of Aiden yelled to them all. Following behind him was two equally annoyed runners. She remembered one was called Nicholas. If she wasn't mistaken, the other was Lukas. Dani furrowed her brows and stood, making her way over to the group to check on her people. Tara shook her head at the audacity of the man as he told them, "You're not ready for runs yet."
"Yeah, pretty sure you got that backwards." Glenn called over his shoulder, never sparing him a glance. Dani caught eyes with her sister and narrowed them slightly, making Lucia shake her head, with a mouthed 'Tell you later.'
Aiden sped up, begging for Glenn's attention. "Look we got a way of doing things around here."
"You tied up walkers." Glenn argued.
"It killed our friend!" Aiden protested, like it cleared everything up. Dani scoffed, all the while more of Alexandria's residents watched beside her. "Look, I'm not having this conversation. You obey my orders out there."
"Then, we're just as screwed as your last run crew." Glenn said, calmly.
When Aiden took a step too close to Glenn, Dani walked a little closer, Daryl doing the same. "Say that again." He dared him.
"No, back off, Aiden." Tara spoke up.
Aiden shoved Glenn slightly, making Noah cut in. "Come on, man. Just take a step back."
"Look we said it's just something we do. It got out of hand." Lukas called out. "Don't be assholes about it."
Tara scoffed. "Your little stunt could've gotten me killed."
"Come on, tough guy." Aiden shoved him again.
Dani had to give it to him, Glenn was keeping his composure incredibly well. If Dani was in his position, she'd have swung on Aiden a long time ago.
"No one's impressed, man." Glenn muttered. "Walk away."
"Aiden!" Deanna yelled as she made her way over to her son. "What is going on?"
"This guy's got a problem with the way we do things." He turned. "Why'd you let these people in?"
"Because we actually know what we're doing out there."
Dani knew it was coming but she was too slow to stop it. Drawing his clenched fist back, Aiden swung for Glenn. Thankfully, Glenn was much more capable than the leader's son. He ducked, thrusting his own fist into Aiden's nose and dropping him on his ass.
Nicholas tried to interfere but was quickly tackled by Daryl. In turn, Lukas gripped the back of Daryl's vest, doing his best to pull him off.
Who was Dani to refuse him the chance to be involved?
"Hey!" She shouted from behind him, tapping his shoulder. When he turned, she threw her fist into his nose. He yelped and clutched it, the stream of blood dripping through his fingers onto the concrete as she shook off her hand.
"Dani!" She heard Lucia reprimand.
Toned arms wrapped around her waist and lifted her up. "There's more where that came from, asshole!" Dani yelled.
"Okay, you got him." Tara's murmured whispers blew against her ear. "Good job, scrappy." She muttered, carrying Dani out of the line of fire. Once her feet were back on the ground, she expected the arms to move away, but they didn't. They stayed secure in their position, causing a flutter of butterflies to take flight behind them.
"I said that is enough!" Deanna shrieked.
Finally cutting in, Rick sprinted over, pulling Daryl away from Nicholas. Aiden shot back up and Michonne shut him down before he could make any more moves. "You want to end up on your ass again?"
When everyone had separated, Dani glanced around at the mess they had made. Lukas' nose was streaming like a crimson tap, Aiden had a face like thunder, Daryl still hadn't showered. In other words, they were a fucking disaster.
"I want everyone to hear me, okay?" Deanna announced. "Rick and his people are part of this community now in all ways as equals. Understood?" She glared at her son.
He shrugged cockily. "Understood."
"All of you, turn in your weapons. Then you three come talk to me."
As the others stood around, Dani turned in Tara's arms and planted her hands on her shoulders. "Now, what the fuck do you mean you could've been killed?"
Her eyes widened and she slid her hands over her hips. Dani raised a brow as if to say 'you can't distract me,' and Tara rolled her eyes. "Let's go talk." She said, letting her hands fall back to her own sides.
As her, Tara, Noah and Lucia walked, Dani bombarded them all with questions. Where Noah filled her in on all the details, Tara watched her ramble fondly. Lucia's eyes flitted between the two women, a knowing glint in her eye.
The group stayed at the house after that, knowing there was enough excitement for one day. Dani sat beside Lucia, linking their arms together. "You okay after today?" She asked her.
"Yeah. Just a little hiccup."
"That's one way to put it."
"There's always tomorrow, right?" Lucia said, dropping her head onto her sister's shoulder.
"There's always tomorrow." Dani repeated.
Rick emerged from the staircase, dressed in his constable uniform and making Dani smile. If Rick of all people could find his place here, the rest of them had hope that they could too. He smiled at her as he passed, heading outside to speak with Carol and Daryl. Dani's eyes stuck to Tara, who was laid on her stomach with the same book from before in her hands.
Lucia elbowed her. "Go on." She muttered quietly.
"Hm?"
"You're my sister, Dani. I'm not blind." She smiled softly. She should've known she'd have never been able to hide things from Lucia. Not that she'd tried very hard to be discreet.
Laying on her back beside Tara, she smiled up at her, watching her soft brown eyes run over the page. Side-eyeing her slightly, Tara smirked before returning her gaze to the book.
"You enjoying the view?" She murmured, her playful tone making Dani squirm.
"Absolutely." She grinned up at her. Fidgeting with her fingers, Dani smiled to herself as she asked the next question. "Are you... free later?"
Tara glanced at her again but an unfamiliar shyness washed over the other woman, drawing her gaze elsewhere. "I might be. Depends what for."
Dani rolled her eyes. "Shut up."
"You shut up." She chuckled, relieved when their eyes met again. "I'll see you later." She muttered.
When her stomach flipped for the hundredth time, Dani beamed, unapologetic and full and completely unbothered about who was watching.
AUTHOR'S NOTE:
i squealed the whole time. that's all i have to say. let me know if you see any mistakes! ilysm, thank you for reading! <3