*can be read as stand-alone
*this was originally posted separately but i decided to merge all the extras to the main story so it's all easier to navigate
*this was originally slightly different, i switched up a few things so that it could fit in the narrative after they get back together!
*timeline: somewhere after the main story
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Harry was tired. It'd been a long week. He'd finished a project that had been a major pain in his ass and he was more than glad to be finally done with it, and all he wanted was to stay in with his lovie and watch some true crime docuseries splayed on his couch, his head in her lap while she carded her fingers through his curls and scratched at his scalp- it put him right to sleep. See, he wasn't a fan of watching eerie stuff before bed but Y/N was and he was humouring her watching these shows with her, but if he could fall asleep before he saw something that would make him double-check the locks, he was glad for it.
Unfortunately, Y/N had some other plans in store for them that weekend. Well, in actuality, it just so happened that it was Halloween that Friday and when he saw her dressed up as a sexy kitten he felt conflicted. First of all, she wasn't really wearing a costume- so the "sexy" bit was his personal interpretation of it cause he found her sexy anyway. She'd just put on a headband that made two kitten ears point out of her luscious head of hair, she did a dramatic winged eyeliner and drew on whiskers on her cheeks complete with coloring the tip of her nose a cute pink.
It was... doing things to him. He wanted nothing more but to keep her inside and make her... purr.
But when she insisted they went out to their friends' that had invited them over for the occasion, he felt inadequate. "I don't have a costume!"
"I don't either! This isn't exactly a costume!" She pointed at her kitten ears she'd gotten from the Chinese discount shop.
"Yeah but it's something. I'll probably be the only one not wearing anything..."
Y/N pouted. "You can just be the hot DILF. C'mon baby... We talked about this...."
Harry couldn't fight the grin off his face. "The what? Come here, you..."
She dodged him. "Nuh-huh. We'll never leave the house if we get started and you know it!" She couldn't keep the smile off her face either as she was circling around the dining table trying to not let him get to her.
"I don't need any more convincing to stay in, darling," he smirked.
"Oh, shush! C'mon Harry! I really wanna go! Please? We won't stay long if you don't want to, but we've been cooked up in the house for the past 2 weeks, I wanna get out for a few hours at least," she bit her lower lip and looked at him from under her eyelashes. "I'll make it up to you. What say?"
Harry squinted at her. "Oh. You can bet on it"
*
Harry was nervous.
She'd met some of his friends before, after they'd ran into Mitch and Sarah and their, then, newborn baby. Y/N had fit in perfectly. It wasn't surprising to him that she did, but he'd been apprehensive about his friends' attitude towards her for the longest time- what with her being 16 years younger than him (and most of them) and whatnot. But turns out he should've had more faith in his friends. They knew Harry well enough to know he wouldn't bring just about anyone as a date anywhere if he wasn't serious about them. And they were mature enough not to judge a book by its cover.
In the meanwhile though, he'd been pretty absent.
None of his friends except for Mitch and Niall had known about his struggles for the 17 months him and Y/N had been apart for. At least, he hoped they didn't know... he'd been MIA for that whole entire time, and this was the first time he'd be seeing the extended group, let alone get acquainted to the new additions.
Mitch had reassured him that nobody would ask any uncomfortable questions, and that they all just knew he'd been through a rough time, but that all was well now and they all were excited to have him back.
That's why he'd been postponing meeting them for so long. He felt like he would be scrutinized. He feared they'd been gossiping about him, wondering what had happened, and now they'd try and pry it out of him.
Y/N knew he'd alienated himself from his friends that whole entire time, but she'd been the one to talk him to it. This was the perfect time for a casual way to reintegrate themselves into his group of friends.
"Baby. Don't be nervous. It's just your friends in there. They'll be happy to see you. I promise."
Harry was really only closer to Mitch and a couple others, and their respective partners, but there were other people invited to this little get together, people he hadn't met before. He hadn't been expecting this. Mitch made it out like it was just gonna be their usual group. A friend of Sarah's was hosting and she'd invited other people too, apparently.
But Y/N had been right about the costumes. Only a few were costumed, hardly so, and most of them were just wearing whatever. Part of him was glad she hadn't been the only one putting something together, even if only those cute little ears. He wouldn't have wanted her to feel out of place. In fact, Mitch was apparently a vampire for this. He'd put on a whole lot of powder and a deep burgundy lipstick and it did the trick, fangs or no fangs. The long hair helped too along with his usual aloof demeanor.
"I'm not a vampire," he grimaced.
"Oh?" Y/N gave Harry a look as if asking him to save her.
"I'm Brad Pitt. I just so happen to be Brad Pitt in 'Interview with a vampire'."
Harry rolled his eyes while Y/N chuckled but he knew she was doing it to save face. "Stop being a dickhead."
Mitch just smirked to himself going to get a refill of his rum punch and they proceeded to mingle with the rest, Sarah introducing them to those they weren't already acquainted with.
His closest friends really did seem to be genuinely happy to have him back, Y/N too. He felt a bit silly for having postponed doing this for so long. He'd really missed them too.
Hours went by however, and Harry was getting antsy. Not only was he genuinely growing tired, but he really wanted to love on Y/N. She was just too darn cute slash sexy slash adorable with that pink button nose of hers and he wanted nothing more than to have her wear nothing else than those kitten ears and her heels for a couple of hours before they went to bed.
"Darling, let's leave. Please?" He hummed into her ear. He'd been so worked up about seeing his friends again, all that stress and anxiety getting to him, plus his social batteries had drained already, not being used to doing this in so long.
"Just a little longer," she pouted. "I'm having fun."
He eyed her glass. "Hm. I can see that."
She furrowed her brows, deadpanning. "What?"
He smiled at her, "nothing. You're getting a bit tipsy. I just don't want you to get sloshed, though. You got to make it up to me, remember?" He whispered that last bit into her ear once more and that had her giggling more than she would have normally.
"Ok," she placed her glass on the coffee table in front of them. "I'll be good, daddy."
Harry's eyes widened dramatically while shushing her simultaneously, going in for a kiss to make sure he silenced her more effectively. "You're in so much trouble," he mumbled smilingly against her lips.
She was looking at him all dreamy eyed. Maybe she was more far gone than he'd realized. The fact was, Y/N was a cute drunk. She never drank till she blacked out, definitely not enough to embarrass herself in any way, ever, but she was a cute, horny mess.
She whispered looking right into his eyes, their lips still touching slightly. "Let's go find a bathroom."
Harry bit his lower lip and pinched her thigh making her yelp far more loudly than was necessary, throwing her into another giggle fit. "Shhhh," he shushed her again. "You little minx. That costume of yours isn't that far off. We're going home. C'mon," he stood up and offered her a hand but immediately one of the other women cut in.
"Hey! You two, what's with all the commotion?" She laughed, "c'mon. Pay attention. We're playing truth or dare."
"Seriously?" Harry furrowed his brows smilingly but Y/N pouted at him and he eventually dropped his hand and went to pour himself another coke.
He normally would've needed a drink to find this even remotely entertaining. He was sober now, though, had been since they'd gotten back together. No exceptions.
He did however insist Y/N have a drink whenever she felt like it. She shouldn't have to suffer the repercussions of his own actions. This was a decision he'd taken for himself and he was fine with it. It was, however, the first time he was in a setting with such heavy drinking all around him. It was the social habit that was hardest to break, and that indeed prove to be quite difficult althrough the evening.
But these were grown ass adults playing truth or dare, for god's sake. How did it even get to this? Was this how silly they'd always acted when a bit tipsy, and only now that he was seeing it all clear-headed he found it a bit too funny.
He spotted a group chatting to the side and joined them, keeping his eyes on his lovie from afar.
She was so beautiful. He couldn't deny he enjoyed seeing her so carefree and giggly. Made him feel all warm inside, and it made this whole evening worth it, with all the anxiety and stress that came along with it for him. He was paying attention to the conversation the group he'd joined was having, trying to keep himself occupied but when he heard a lot of oohs and aahs he turned to look at the group playing truth or dare once more.
Dean, was it?- had apparently agreed to a dare. Lizz, the woman to his left squinted at him playfully, plotting for an appropriate one. Harry realized they were all a bit tipsy, not just his Y/N. Actually, he may as well have been the only sober one there. It was well into the night by now. Past 11pm. And apart from being fairly bored he was getting quite tired. He would wait for her to play a round as to not come off as rude and then they would take their leave. "I dare you... to give the person on your right a hickey," Lizz's eyes glistened and Harry straightened up at that immediately, turning his back to the group he'd joined.
This Dean guy turned towards Y/N and raised his eyebrows at her suggestively and Harry was seeing this all unfold in front of his eyes as if in slow motion. Y/N just looked at the man, dumbfounded and then scanned the group seeing everyone eagerly awaiting for it to happen, so she just extended her neck towards him, gathering all her hair to the side, granting him access, and squeezing her eyes shut, smilingly.
Was she... enjoying this?
The second the man's lips touched her skin he turned away, rushing to get away from the scene unfolding in front of him.
He found a bathroom and locked himself inside, panting heavily. He wasn't feeling well. He could see red in front of him, that's how out of it he felt. He downed the coke he had in his glass and then placed it on the bathroom counter a little bit too forcefully by the sound it made, but he was hearing it all muffled. He looked at himself in the mirror and he almost couldn't recognize himself. Turning the faucet on, he splashed cold water and slapped his face lightly, shaking his head.
What was happening? It felt like he was having a panic attack.
He hadn't felt like this since...
He shook his head again. No. This wasn't happening again. He wouldn't allow himself to go in that dark place again.
He held the edge of the counter to stop his hands from shaking, his knuckles turning white with the force of his grasp. He needed to get it together. Because all he could think of was rushing back in there and knocking out that son of a bitch in one swift motion.
And her smile... that was the worst of it. He squeezed his eyes shut. Why did she smile like that?
He needed a drink so badly.
"Harry?" He snapped his eyes open, unaware of how long he'd been in there. Then he heard her voice again, more softly. "Baby, are you in there? Are you ok?"
"Y-yeah. Be right out," he cleared his throat. He wasn't ready to get out of that bathroom, he didn't trust himself. But he had to, he couldn't hide in there forever. He splashed some more water on his face, took a few deep breaths and then emerged only to see her waiting for him propped against the wall outside the bathroom.
"Harry, oh no... you look so pale. What's wrong?"
"I'm just... not feeling too well. Can we leave, please?" She tried getting closer to him but he closed his eyes taking a halfstep back.
It took her aback, he noticed, but she didn't say anything. "Ok. I'll just get my purse."
"I'll get the car started."
She turned back to give him a worried look. "Aren't you gonna say goodbye?"
"I'd rather we just left... I'm not up for it," he mumbled, looking away.
She wanted to say something, he could tell, but she decided against it and went to get her things as he rushed for the front door, making a run for it almost. The moment he stepped foot outside he gasped for fresh air.
Good. He was out of there. Nobody got hurt. He could do this.
God. He needed a drink so badly.
He avoided eye contact when Y/N finally got into the car and he drove right off. She didn't ask him anything, didn't try to talk to him.
Was she feeling guilty?
The scene kept replaying in his head, that jerk's mouth closing in on the delicate skin of her neck. And her smilingly offering the side of her neck up to him.
He glanced over to her and could actually see the hickey. The car swerved and Y/N yelped in shock "Harry!"
He pulled himself together enough to drive them home safely, but he was losing it.
After they got inside the house Y/N remained by the door watching him pace around, trying to busy himself. He was visibly shaking and he was trying to hide it but before he could head for the bedroom to undress and jump into the shower he caught his hand in hers and stopped him in his tracks "Harry. Talk to me. What's going on?"
He couldn't look at her. He knew he was overreacting. That much he was aware of. It was just a silly party game. It didn't mean anything. But it was incredibly triggering to him. And he couldn't help the visceral reaction he was having to it.
"I'm not well, Y/N," he said, his voice small. "I'm trying to get my shit together... but I just can't."
"You're shaking," she pointed out whisperingly. "You're worrying me. Please talk to me... Tell me what's wrong."
He finally looked into her eyes and what she saw appeared to have sobered her up completely. "Baby," she got closer but was still mindful of his personal space, still holding his hand with both of hers. "What's happening? You're scaring me... please."
He exhaled shakily and looked away again; after a beat he finally reached over to her hair and pulled it all to one side, mimicking her gesture from earlier, exposing the hickey. His eyes darkened looking at it unobscured now.
Her breath caught, "Harry... Wait. Wait, you saw that?... I looked for you as soon as it was over and you... you weren't there... and I realized how that must've looked to you and I was so relieved when I saw you weren't there and I just... I didn't know how to react... I didn't want to be a party pooper, I didn't think it through--"
"You smiled."
She blinked at him confusedly. "Huh?"
"When he was doing it. You smiled," his voice was coming off as if strangled, he didn't recognize it coming out of his mouth.
"Baby, no. What? I was just playing along! What are you saying?"
He just looked at her and smiled a humourless smile. "I know it's silly. It's just a game, right? I know all that. It's just a hickey on a dare at a stupid party with tipsy people having a bit of harmless fun. But it did something to me, and I can't help it. I had to run away before I jumped the guy. I wanted to... God." He squeezed his eyes shut, "I haven't felt like this in so long. And I thought it was all behind me."
Y/N's eyes were glistening with unshed tears. "No! No, baby, no. It's ok! It's ok! You're just jealous, alright? It's who you are. You're possessive. Doesn't mean anything!"
"Yes it does," he grimaced. "And you know it." He pulled his hand out of her grasp and took a step back. "I'll never get better." He could feel his own tears welling up.
"No..."
He shook his head and could feel tears blurring his vision completely so he just let them drop heavily on their own accord. "I'll never get better. This is who I am."
"Stop!"
He kept shaking his head walking backwards away from her until his back hit a wall when he was forced to stop and she rushed toward him, cupping his face in between her palms. "No! Listen to me! That's not who you are! It's not! Because you didn't do anything! You hear me?" She tried searching his eyes but he wouldn't make eye contact "You ran into that bathroom and you snapped yourself out of it and you were in control of the situation! You didn't let it get the best of you! You're in control, Harry!"
"I wanted a drink" he cut her off, shaking his head as she tried keeping him still. "I wanted a drink so desperately..." he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut and feeling more tears fall down his cheeks and she thumbed them away lovingly, cooing him and shushing him.
"You're fine. You made it. It's alright."
"It's just that... it was so triggering..."
"I know, baby, I know," she pulled him into her arms and he slumped against her, crying in earnest now/ "You're safe now. It's all behind you. You did it, you were in control. You did so good, baby." she pulled back a bit and kissed all over his face, kissed his silent tears away and stroked the back of his head until he stopped shaking. "I would never do anything to upset you, nothing to make you jealous. You know that, right? I love you."
He buried his face in the crook of her neck, and she wondered if he purposely chose her right side, the untainted side. "I know," he mumbled. "Rationally.. I know. But the way you smiled kept repeating in my head, on a loop..."
"I was just..."
"I know!" He squeezed her to his chest, possessively, "I know. But still... I couldn't help how jealous it made me feel. How possessive. I can't stand it. Him touching you... anyone touching you..."
"It'll never happen again. No matter the circumstances. I promise," she carefully snaked her hands around his neck and tried her luck for a kiss. He didn't fight it. In fact, he urgented the kiss immediately.
"I need you," he told her in between frantic kisses and she nodded her head, their mouths desperate for one another.
"Have me, Harry. I'm yours. Never doubt that."
He groaned, turning on his heels and pressing her against the wall instead. "Mine. Mine. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," he managed in between kisses.
"I'm the one who's sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I was just--"
"Shh. Enough talking. I was on edge the whole evening. Never wanted to leave in the first place," he pulled away and looked at her, taking in her Halloween makeup and letting his lips quirk up a bit but then when he reached her eyes his own saddened again seeing how her winged eyeliner had gotten smudged with tears. "Did I ruin our evening completely? Should we not? I don't want to do anything if--"
"No! Please. This is us, Harry. This is how we communicate too, alright? I need this just as much as you do. I'm yours. I want to show it to you. Let me show it to you. Ok? Can I? Can I, daddy?"
"Fuck," he cursed, closing his eyes and going back in for a searing kiss. "Yes. Yes. It's us."
"Want you to show me who I belong to," she reached a hand in between the two of them and pressed it against his crotch, happy to find him ready and wanting. "God, I need you," she mewled. "Please, daddy."
She meant to get on her knees but he stopped her. He couldn't wait to get inside her, he wasn't in the mood for teasing. He unbuckled his belt, freeing himself rapidly and pushed her skirt up past her waist. Her heels would aid his access and he kicked her legs apart, pulling the crotch of her panties to the side and feeling her up. "Fuck. Always so ready for me, aren't you sweetheart?"
He grabbed one of her thighs bringing her leg over his hipbone, she grabbed his cock lining it up with her entrance and he sunk into her without preamble. It was a very tight fit, and it sent painful shockwaves through her core. Wet as she was, he was still large and she always needed to be properly warmed up by him before actual penetration. There would be none of that tonight though. After a few deliberate thrusts, her pain rapidly turned into pleasure and she moaned loudly, throwing her head back and bumping it a bit too harshly against the wall behind her.
"Yes, yes! Oh God!"
He brought his other hand to her neck then, squeezing tightly at the sides, his thumb pressing into the tender spot inhabited by the hickey and she gasped in pain. "Say you're mine. Tell me you love me."
"Yours, always. Only you. I love you, daddy. So much," her voice grew fainter, his fingers pushing into her throat more and more and then he kissed her harshly, pushing his tongue inside of her mouth and making sure he stole all of her breath away. By the time he pulled back she was sufficiently light headed to slump against him and he pulled out, turning them around again and throwing her over the edge of the sofa near them. He pushed her front further down into the cushion and propped her ass up, her waist snug against the armrest, and impaled her again, making her groan.
His pace was punishing. He didn't know where he summoned the energy from, but he was relentless. She felt so good around him, her words had been so reassuring. He felt safe. He felt like he was in control, like she'd said. He could reign it in. He could fight his primal tendencies. He still wanted to punch that fucking bastard, but he recognized that he could control his actions even if he couldn't control his feelings of jealousy and possessiveness. He loved her. She was his. He couldn't stand the thought of another man touching her like that. Where did being human stop and where did his violent streak begin? He didn't know, but she was right. He'd been in control.
And he was in control now. She let him be in control. She gave this to him, trusted him, always put herself in his palms like putty trusting him to take care of her, to push her to the brink and then catch her when she fell.
"So good. So good for me, sweetheart," he pulled away and kneeled in between her thighs, pushing them further apart and burrowing his face against her wet cunt.
"Oh god!"
He held her by her thighs, pulling her flush against his face, eating her out like a man starved. He needed her to come, needed her to let go. He'd been so close, he had to reign it in.
"That's it," he slapped her ass soundly. "Drench me, baby, want you coming all over my face. And then I'll have you coming all over my cock," he slapped her ass again and again and kneaded her cheeks in his palms as he pushed his tongue inside her, throwing her off the edge.
When she came down from her high he kicked his pants off along with his briefs and sat on the sofa, and he fully intended to grab her from underneath her arms and scoop her into his lap but she was quicker. Still propped over the armrest, she grabbed a hold of his painfully hard cock and got her mouth on him. He humoured her for a bit but finally tugged her hair and yanked her off of him. "Fuck baby, you're too good. I want to finish inside you. Get up here."
On shaky legs, she straddled him on the couch and he sank into the backrest, letting her move over him and love on him the way she wanted. He enjoyed her slower pace, the deep kisses, enjoyed mouthing at her breasts and her tugging at his hair but soon he was on edge again, and he'd promised her he'd make her come again. "Touch yourself, darling. Come on. Show daddy how you rub that pussy."
She moaned, throwing her head back and doing as instructed and his eyes darkened again seeing her bruised flesh. He groaned, grabbing her hips and slamming into her, getting impossibly deep inside her. "Oh my god! Oh god, oh god! Fuck! Daddy, don't stop!"
"Never!" He gritted his teeth. "Want you to feel me for days, never forget whose you are."
"Yours," she mewled, her kitten ears having fallen off her head at one point, her drawn on whiskers smudged. She was perfect. And she was his.
"Mine. All mine. Come for daddy, baby. Show me what a good girl you are."
"Yes! Please! Fuck!"
As soon as he felt her clenching around him he let go, pressing her against his groin and letting her milk him for all he was worth. "God, I love you."
She slumped against him, pushing him into the backrest, both panting heavily. "I love you too, so much. Never doubt it again. Alright?" She lazily pulled back a bit to look him in the eye.
He nodded solemnly, "I never did. I just... want to be worthy of your love. Never want to disappoint you again..."
"I never want to disappoint you again, either," she searched his eyes. "But this is the only way we can do it. Together. Talking. Communicating. Loving eachother. Ok? Never try to hide from me. It's us."
He kissed her, squeezing her flush against him. "It's us."
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