A gloomy place. Cracked mirrors. Chipped sinks. That was the Girls' bathroom on the second floor. Guttering candles. Harry and Ron huddled over a small, bubbling cauldron, as Hermione added strange ingredients.
Barty laughed. "That looks so similar."
"That's what Myrtle's bathroom looked like before?" James Sirius gasped.
"Before?" Harry asked.
Scorpius turned to look at him. "Yeah, mum remodelled the bathroom so it's actually functional and people can visit Myrtle so she's not alone anymore."
"Again? You mean, the Chamber of Secrets has been opened before?" Hermione asked.
"Of course! Don't you see? Lucius Malfoy must've opened it when he was at school here, and now he's told Draco how to do it." Ron said.
"Wow. You guys really want it to be us." Lucius commented.
"You're Slytherins!" Hermione yelled.
"That's pathetic." Narcissa said. "Why didn't you track the bloodline of Salazar Slytherin to see who the heir was fifty years ago?"
"Maybe. We'll have to wait for the Polyjuice Potion to know for sure." Hermione said.
"Enlighten me. Why are we brewing this potion in broad daylight, in the middle of a girls' lavatory? Don't you think we'll get caught?" Ron asked.
"Not in that bathroom." Zoe said, making Narcissa laugh.
Hermione shook her head. "Never. No one over comes in here."
"Why?" Ron asked.
"Moaning Myrtle." Hermione said.
"Who's Moaning Myrtle?" Ron asked.
The Slytherin boys gasped sharply. "Shouldn't have said that." Draco said.
There was a loud, piecing screech and the ghost of a young girl came racing out of the wall and came face to face with Ron.
"I'm Moaning Myrtle. I wouldn't expect you to know me. Who would ever talk about fat, ugly, miserable, moping, moaning Myrtle?" Moaning Myrtle yelled. She sobbed loudly and dived head first into the toilet.
"She's a little sensitive." Hemione shrugged.
"Wow. Myrtle was different." Albus Severus said.
"What do you mean?" Harry asked.
"She's happy now."
***
A golden stage erected and Lockhart strutted atop it. Harry, Ron, Hermione and a good number of other students watched.
"Gather round! Gather round! Can everyone see me? Can you all hear me? Excellent. In light of the dark events of recent weeks, Professor Dumbledore has granted me permission to start this little Dueling Club, to train you all up in case you ever need to defend yourselves as I myself have done on countless occasions - for full details, see my published works." Lockhart said.
"Merlin, all he talks about are those books." James Sirius groaned.
The boy next to Harry, Justin Finch-Fletchley, turned to him.
"That Lockhart's something, isn't he? Awfully brave chap." He offered his hand. "Justin Finch-Fletchley. Hufflepuff."
"Nice to meet you. I'm..." Harry wanted to introduce him but Justin cut him off.
"I know who you are. We all do. Even us Muggle-borns." Justin grinned agreeably and looked back to the stage, where Professor Snape had joined Lockhart.
"Do you ever really need to introduce yourself?" Sirius asked.
"Let me introduce my assistant Professor Snape. He has sportingly agreed to help me with a short demonstration. Now I don't want any of you youngsters to worry. You'll still have your Potions Master when I'm through with him, never fear!" Lockhart smiled.
"Assistant! Okay, now I'm going to kill him." Severus said.
"What's the fun in that?" Ron scoffed.
"Watch it, Weasel." Zoe warned.
Lockhart and Snape faced each other and bowed. They turned, walked ten paces, then spun, wands poised like swords. "As you can see, we are holding our wands in the accepted combative position. On the count of three, we will cast our first spells. Neither of us will be aiming to kill, of course." Lockhart reassured them.
"I wouldn't bet on that." Harry muttered, eyeing Professor Snape.
"One-two-three..." Lockhart counted down.
"Expelliarmus!" Professor Snape yelled. A dazzling flash of scarlet light burst forth and blasted Lockhart off his feet and into the wall behind.
Everyone (except Hermione, Molly and Lily) laughed.
"Do you think he's all right?" Hermione asked, worried for the fake teacher.
"Who cares?" Harry and Ron said.
"Probably, the only time we've agreed with the Weasel." Draco whispered to his wife.
Lockhart raised from the floor unsteadily. "Well, there you have it. That was a Disarming Charm. As you see, I've lost my wand." He said, looking around. Hermione handed him his wand. "Ah, thank you, Miss Granger. Yes, an excellent idea to show them that, Professor Snape, but if you don't mind my saying so, it was very obvious what you were about to do. If I had wanted to stop you it would have been only too easy..."
"Sure, you could." Zoe rolled her eyes.
"Perhaps it would be prudent to first teach the students to block unfriendly spells, Professor." Professor Snape suggested.
"An excellent suggestion, Professor Snape. Let's have a volunteer pair. Potter, Weasley, how about you?" Lockhart said, looking at the young Gryffindors.
"Now, he's definitely trying to kill young Potter." Lucius said.
"Weasley's wand causes devastation with the simplest spells. We'll be sending Potter to the hospital wing in a matchbox." Professor Snape said, making Ron look down. "Might I suggest someone from my own house. Malfoy, perhaps."
"Good luck, My King." Zoe whispered before Draco left.
"I'll win for you, My Queen." Draco smirked.
"Why do you call each other that?" Lily asked. "You're children, not King or Queen."
"They're terms of endearment." Zoe said. "He is my king as I am his queen."
"Besides, they are still King and Queen of Slytherin." Barty said. "And magic-wise, she's overpowers everyone."
"Just as we're their princes and princess." Albus Severus gestured to him and his siblings.
"You are Harry's son, not theirs." Lily crossed her arms.
"I am the first-born son of Lady Zoe Ollivander-Malfoy and Lord Draco Ollivander-Malfoy.
Harry and Draco looked at each other malevolently as they took their places onstage. Grudgingly, they bowed to each other.
"Scared, Potter?" Draco scoffed.
"You wish." Harry said.
They turned, walked ten paces, then whirled, wands poised.
"Wands at the ready! When I count to three, cast your charms to disarm your opponent - only to disarm. We don't want any accidents. One, two..." Lockhart counted, but Draco fired early, knocking Harry off his feet with a blast of white light. He jumped up and pointed his wand.
"Rictusempra!" A jet of silver hit Draco dead in the stomach, he doubled up, wheezing.
"I said disarm only!" Lockhart yelled.
"As if anyone actually listens to him!" James rolled his eyes.
Lily smacked his shoulder. "Enough James."
"Serpensortia!" To Harry's horror, the tip of Draco's wand exploded and a long, black snake slithered forth. Professor Snape smiled with amusement.
"Don't move, Potter. I'll get rid of it for you." Professor Snape said. But Lockhart got in his way.
"Allow me!" Lockhart flicked his wand. But instead of disappearing, the snake flew into the air, hissed in rage, and slithered straight towards Justin Finch-Fletchley. As students screamed, Harry - oddly calm - approached the snake. The snake rose, fangs exposed, poised to strike Justin.
"That dumbass! He just made the snake angry." Sirius yelled.
"Leave him!" Harry demanded, in Parseltongue. The snake looked into Harry's eyes, then turned for Justin.
"He said to leave him!" Zoe ordered, in Parseltongue. The snake hovered for a moment more, before slithering to Zoe, who reached her arm out for the snake to climb, and it wrapped itself around her shoulders.
"Okay. I get why Zoe speaks Parseltongue, but why can Harry?"
"Because their twins." Hermione said.
"Wrong." Zoe rolled her eyes.
Harry blinked, as if coming out of a trance, grinned curiously at the snake, and offered his hand to Justin.
"Why didn't the snake listen to me?" Harry asked.
"There wasn't power in your words. You weren't truly speaking the language; the language essentially took over you." Zoe answered. "We'll work on that?"
"What are you playing at?" Justin gasped. Terrified, Justin backed away. Confused, Harry eyed the faces around him. Seamus and Neville's eyes glittered with fear. Ginny bolted the room.
Ron took Harry's arm. "Come on. Move. Now." He pushed him out with Hermione.
Snape went to remove the snake but Zoe backed away.
"Don't you dare touch him, Papa S. He's mine now." Zoe smiled as she petted the snake's head, as if it were a puppy.
"Did you actually keep it?" Lily asked.
"She's called Cleopatra, not it, and I did keep her. She's in my garden with her children." Zoe said.
***
Ron and Hermione ushered Harry inside the Gryffindor Common Room. Harry glanced up and saw Ginny Weasley staring down at him from the top of the stairs. As their eyes met, she turned for the girls' dormitory.
"You're a Parselmouth! Why didn't you tell us?" Ron demanded.
"I'm a what?" Harry asked.
"You can talk to snakes." Hermione said, slowly.
"You didn't have to say it like he's five. He just doesn't know things about the Wizarding World." Sirius said.
"I know. I mean, I accidentally set a python on my cousin Dudley at the zoo once. But so, what? I bet loads of people here can do it." Harry shrugged.
Hermione shook her head. "No. They can't. It's not a very common gift, Harry. This is bad."
"It's not bad." Zoe defended her and Harry's gift.
"What's bad? If I hadn't told that snake not to attack Justin..." Harry defended.
"Oh, that's what you said to it." Ron said.
"You were there! You heard me!" Harry yelled.
"I heard you speaking Parseltongue. Snake language." Ron shook his head.
"I spoke a different language? But I didn't realize - how can I speak a language without knowing I can?" Harry asked.
"I don't know, Harry. But it sounded like you were egging the snake on or something. It was... creepy." Hermione said.
"If you don't know what he said, how can it sound like he was egging on the snake." Barty rolled his eyes.
As Gryffindors streamed into the room, they eyed Harry warily. Even Seamus, Neville, and Dean Thomas walked by without a word.
"So much for having my back." Harry muttered, remembering how the students would be on his side one day, then avoid him like he was a disease.
"Harry, listen out me. There's a reason the symbol of Slytherin house is a serpent. Salazar Slytherin was a Parselmouth. He could talk to snakes too." Hermione said.
"Exactly. And now the whole school's going to think you're his great-great-great grandson or something." Ron said.
"But I'm not. I... can't be." Harry stuttered.
"He lived a thousand years ago. For all we know... you could be." Hermione said.
"We're not related to Salazar Slytherin." James said. "Our entire line is written in the Potter library, if we were related, we would have his things and portrait in the family room."