t's been a week since they found mom and dad. My once hopeful and strong view on the whole situation has diminished. I'm not keeping strong for Jonas anymore, I'm not staying strong for myself either. I haven't been outside, haven't seen or talked to any of my friends and worst of all, I've barely spoken to my older brother. In no way am I angry at Jonas, I just can't face him in the state that I'm in. I know he's worried, he's sat on the other side of my door trying to speak to me but I can't say anything back, I can't find the right words.
After shutting myself off from the world for a week, I've come to the realization I can't sit in sadness for the rest of my life. My parents have been gone for years, my day to day life is no different. The only thing different is now I have the answer that they are actually dead, even if they didn't die years ago when I thought they died, they're still gone.
I brush my hair and teeth and make my way out of my room. Jonas immediately jumps from his seat on the couch, I give him a big smile... a real one. Jonas quickly walks over to me and pulls me into his chest, he kisses the top of my head a few times before releasing me from his arms "I'm going for a surf" I inform my older brother "what's changed your mind?" Jonas' voice sounds worried but proud at the same time "I realized my life hasn't changed because of the news, I just wish it didn't take me a week to realize that" I tell him honestly "yeah but Lex, that's a lot of shit to deal with. I don't blame the way you were coping" Jonas puts a steady hand on my shoulder "I'm still sorry, I'm going to be okay. I just needed some time to figure everything out" I smile "Bax has come to check up on you, he said you haven't answered your texts and he was worried" my heart drops at Jonas' words. I can't face Bax after this. It feels awkward to talk to him after falling off the face of the earth for the last week. Poppy and the others will understand, I've known them for my whole life! But Bax? He probably thinks I'm crazy or selfish for ghosting him.
I practically run down to the water, I don't waste any time to finally be in the ocean after so long. I missed the salt water even the sticky hair that comes with it but most of all, I missed the sounds of the waves.
I only get about five decently sized waves before I decide to head inside. When I make it back to the house, Jonas just stares at me with amazement, I can't help but feel guilty. I feel like such a shitty friend and sister for not talking to anyone. The last thing I want is to act cold and different to the people I love the most.
I get a text from Poppy asking if I wanna go out for dinner with the group, I almost immediately reply with yes. I think it's going to be really good for me to get out of the house and see my best friends after so long of shutting them out. I bet it was Manu's and Jonas' idea which i'm not mad about, it feels good to have them make the plans for me instead of me having to reach out first.
The day passes by quickly, I clean up my room and bathroom that was slowly turning into a huge mess and by the time I'm done doing that. I start to get ready, I put on mascara, do my eyebrows and straighten my hair. It's definitely nice to dress up, even if it's just dinner with a few friends. My outfit is a orange corduroy jacket with a white tank under it and some jean shorts.
I walk out of my room and sit in the living room waiting for Manu to pick me up. Jonas takes a seat on one of the chairs across the living room "if you wanna come home early just call me" Jonas says "I really am okay Jon, I don't want people to treat me different because of this" I can feel my throat closing up, I can't cry my makeup off though. I pull myself together and take a deep breath "I don't want people walking on eggshells around me, that's my biggest fear out of all of this" I tell Jonas honestly "you can't really avoid it kid. I'm sure everyone will just be more calm and patient with you but no one will treat you too differently" Jonas assures me "and Bax" I whisper under my breath.
Jonas slowly stands up and sits next to me on the couch noticing the stress I'm putting myself through "listen. You are going to have fun tonight okay? Nothing can stop you from having fun besides yourself. Don't worry about anything else tonight just catching up with friends and expressing what you need from them from now on" Jonas places a hand on my shoulder "you're right. You're right" I say quietly "and Bax, that kid cares about you okay? He's not going to disappear on you and if he does... so help me God" Jonas tries to get a laugh out of me and it works.
I can't help but laugh at Jonas acting tough. He's never had to act this way before, I haven't had any boys around, well ones that I've liked at least. "I appreciate the gesture" I tell Jonas honestly. He doesn't say anything back, he just tightens his grip on my shoulder.
Only a second later, the horn on Manu's van honks and Jonas looks to me with a brotherly smile, he rushes me to stand "if you don't come home with a smile on that beautiful face i'll kill you." The only reaction I have is to roll my eyes "don't worry about me".
I walk out the front door and I'm met by a very giddy Poppy. The girl immediately pulls me into her "I fucking love you" she tells me "I love you too Pops" I giggle. She pulls back for a moment to look at me "you look so cute right now" she says in awe, I just look at her with a flat smile "thank you" I say embarrassed.
Manu also makes his way out of the van, he runs his hand down the side of my face without even looking at me and then gently pulls me into his chest. "Ready to go" Manu places his hands on my shoulders finally making eye contact with me "yeah" I nod at the man.
We get into the van, jamming loud music all the way down to the restaurant. We pull into the parking lot and Manu waves us off. Poppy and I enter the restaurant and spot Ari and Marlon already sitting at one of the tables. I sit next to Marlon and Poppy sits on the other side of me.
The waitress comes over "just waiting for two more?" She asks "yeah" Ari nods at the girl. The waitress looks to Poppy and I "what can I get you guys to drink?" Poppy looks to me first "just a water is fine" I nod "same thing" Poppy smiles at the waitress. As soon as she walks off, I look at Marlon and Ari "two more?" I say with widened eyes "Ari's got a girl" Marlon teases. Ari can't help but turn red. I honestly don't know how I feel about it, I know Summer likes him but she's also been gone for so long, of course Ari is going to move on, he's a teenage boy. I want to be happy for him but in the back of my mind I can't stop thinking about Summer and how she's going to react.
Ari starts to stand up "that's her" the three of us turn our heads to look out the window. I notice Bax's red Bronco and my heart starts to thump. Marlon notices my freaked out state and shaky leg so he grabs my hand and gives me a concerned look. I just give him a reassuring smile and he knows exactly what i'm shaking about "oh" he smirks.
Ari starts to head for the door to greet Wren when Poppy stands up too, she grabs my elbow "cmon" she smiles "no Poppy" I smile in defiance "dude go say hi to him" Poppy doesn't let off. I finally stand and start walking to the door with Ari.
Bax is just about to drive off but before he puts his car into drive, he makes eye contact with me and immediately puts his car back into park. His eyes light up and to follow along, he allows a smirk to cover his lips. He slams his door shut and starts running towards me, I start walking closer and before I know it, I'm lifted into the air in a hug. I wrap my legs around Bax "hi baby" Bax says in a nurturing tone "hi Baxie" finally the boy puts me down, his eyes a lighter and softer blue than before.
"Wren is my sister by the way, I don't remember if you met her at the beach" Bax informs me "wow" I look over to the girl then back at Bax "what happened to you?" I tease "oh shut it Emery" Bax sends a smile towards me "how are you feeling?" Bax's tone instantly becomes more serious. I'm a bit taken back at first but quickly gather my thoughts "honestly I'm doing really well, I just needed some time to think things over and process everything yknow?" I shuffle my feet a bit "understandably" Bax sighs "just sucks I couldn't be there" his eyes drop a bit "it's not that I didn't want you there, I didn't want anyone there" I latch myself onto Bax again "so if I text you, you're gunna answer right?" Bax asks with a goofy smile "yes and we'll go surfing soon, maybe go for a hike" I nod at the boy "okay well it was nice to see you, I'm happy you're feeling better" Bax starts to walk off "yeah I'll see you" I remind him before fully turning around and walking off.
I head back into the restaurant, Poppy eyes me down with a smile I just shake my head in response. "I was just telling everyone that this is my girlfriend.. you've met Wren right Lex?" Ari looks over to me with a smile "yeah I remember at the beach but I didn't get a chance to talk to you" I smile over at the girl who gives me a huge smile in return "and you're pretty good friends with my brother right?" Wren asks "yeah" I turn away knowing my cheeks are turning red.
Our dinner has gone by so quickly, I missed my friends a lot more than I thought I did. Being with everyone has made me feel so much more free and grateful for what I have.
As we wait for our cheques, I look to everyone and finally blurt out what I've been needing to say "I don't want anyone treating me differently... alright?" All of their faces seem shocked, Marlon places a hand on my knee from underneath the table and gives me an understanding smile and nod "yeah completely, I appreciated when you guys did the same for me" Ari looks around the table as well "no one sees you differently" Poppy offers a smile "I know, I didn't feel centred out or anything I just wanted to let you guys know, Jonas said it would be good if I told everyone. I've been feeling really great about everything recently, definitely feeling a lot more like myself" I let out a quiet laugh "and you told Bax that right?" Wren's words make everyone at the table go quiet "yeah I did" I feel Marlon rub his thumb on my knee, I forgot his hand was even there. "Sorry I just-he's been really down, just on edge I guess you could say".
I understand where Wren is coming from, Poppy on the other hand does not look very impressed with her words. "She just talked to Bax, I'm sure she feels shitty enough about it" Poppy rolls her eyes with a scoff "right" I say biting down on my tongue. Normally I wouldn't be this nice but I do not have the energy for shit like this.
Manu picks Poppy and I up soon after we pay for our meals and we start the drive home.
Poppy starts to complain about Wren to Manu, I stay quiet in the backseat knowing exactly what Manu is going to say "Wren could end up being your teammate Pops, it's best to be nice to her and swallow your tongue" I watch as Poppy gives Manu a dirty look and I can't help but burst out laughing. Poppy and Manu can't help but laugh back "that was a pretty fucked up face to give me" Manu taps the steering wheel making the same face back at Poppy "okay well listen for a second" Poppy tries to contain her laughter "Lexi was trying to tell everyone that she doesn't want to be treated differently, right?" As Poppy pauses, I sit up in my seat and lean towards the front a little bit. Manu nods and so Poppy continues "and Wren has the audacity to say 'well did you tell Bax that?' like bitch mind your own god damn business!" Poppy groans and throws her hands up in annoyance "yeah it was kinda fucked up Manu, should've been there" I shrug my shoulders and fall back into my seat. "Okay understandable, maybe she's a bit of a bitch, but you guys have to pretend for a bit" Manu tries to stay serious "you always told me lying was bad" Poppy rolls her eyes.