𝙷𝚎𝚢 𝚐𝚞𝚢𝚜 𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 2 𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚌𝚑𝚊𝚙𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚘𝚞𝚝𝚝𝚝𝚝𝚝𝚝!!!!! 𝚆𝚑𝚘𝚘𝚑𝚘𝚘
_・_・_・_・_・_・_・_・_・・_・_・_・
{ recap}
We're driving back home and it's dead silence " so are y'all mad at me ? Are y'all gonna get rid of me ?" They questions circulated around my head and I was most terrified of these Scenarios .
Papa pulled the car aside of the road and turn to me and he looked shocked " No, no ,no kiddo we love you we would never get rid of you even if you did something wrong or stupid .
And yeah we are a little disappointed but we would never get rid of you." " Dad ? are you gonna get rid of me" I don't why I asked him that it's just he didn't even look at me .
" Of course not" He turned back and said .
We got back home and I went to my room and saw Eyebags hanging out in my room like it's his !! " How was school?" He asked casually.
" Get out now !" I stated looking at him while standing in the doorway. "Tell me your day honestly I'm interested" .
He's a little stuck up bitch, who needs to stay out of my business. " I don't want to talk about it, I'll tell you tomorrow" I think he took the hint.
{ End of recap}
-------------------------------------------------------
I stay up all night trying to apologize to Shoto... He probably wanna break up,I wouldn't blame him;I been such a burden.
Maybe you should try it again
They won't miss you
Their just sad the attempt didn't work
You should break up with him first
Or just suffer
Please just shut up
Please.
——————
I went to class a little late but I didn't mind it
It's my therapy starts and I don't want it honestly but there not giving me a choice.
What if they found out about the cutting?? I know,I clean up after myself but what if they ask me to show my arms or my thighs ?!
They might send me back to the orphanage or maybe shoto might break up with and go to Deku?
Fuck Kirishima worrying about me and Deku, he should worry about Shoto!!
Deku is better than me
He's kind and sweet is everything I can't be.
He would be a better boyfriend than I ever will...
" Bakugo!" I heard Dad yell my name .. I look up and the whole class is staring at me " One pay attention I called your name 4 times and two your thumb is bleeding, you been biting it" I just realized and I excuse myself to the bathroom.
I went to the bathroom and tried stopping the bleeding from my thumb and wiped the blood off my lip but while I'm fixing my thumb issue.
I saw Shoto come out of one of the stalls.
It was just so silent as he washed his hands and ignored me . " Are you gonna stop ignoring me?" I asked him and I expected him to brush it off but he said something.
" Are you gonna continue to lie to me and be an asshole..? Your my boyfriend and you promise you wasn't going to do and you said you love me with so much ease like I can't help but feel like that was a lie to. It's called the truth if you haven't heard of it! Maybe try it because I never cared about someone as much as I care about you." He walked away and I couldn't help but feel like I wanted to cry.
I went back to class and suffered in silence.
—---------
It was my first therapy session and I am scared.. I'm walking to her office right now and she's just on her computer typing.
What was her name Ka-Kato! Kato was her name.
" Hi Bakugo, how are you? And are you ready for the first session?" She asked me" Hey, Lady can I not talk" I asked as I walked in and close the door behind me and sat down.
" Then how are you gonna get help" She smiled and gave me a pillow. I looked at her confused " Your nervous aren't you because you been bouncing your leg up and down since you sat down." I looked down as she got her clipped board.
" So what's bothering you?"
That question made me more nervous but I just took a breathe and told her.
" I never been to therapy before and I don't like to talk to someone I don't mind... I been worried about my relationship with my boyfriend." I started to hold the pillow tighter" Does he hurt you or say means things to you?" She asked " No, never it's just when I woke up in the hospital from my attempt he's been mad at me because I promised him that I wouldn't do it." I looked down.
" so he felt like you lied to him and betrayed his trust ?" She asked writing in her clip board " Yeah and I been trying to make up to him but he ignores me and today he actually said something" I felt small tears slip from my eyes as I explain my problem.
" Ok let's move on and go deeper like why would you do th attempt anyway? And have you did before?" She asked, looking at me. " I have 5 times at least and It was a stressful time and my mental health was at its lowest and I thought, I was a burden to everyone and I would be doing them a favor so I did it ."
" Okay, what caused you to become so stressed?"
" My mom called me from her prison and I was out hanging out with my friends and triggered me and I felt like she had her way again like always.
"Was your mom abusive ? I'm asking cause your father- I mean your guardian didn't give me your folder with your information in it"
" Yeah she was ... she cared about me at one point but then when my dad died; I became the source of all problems . And Aizawa and Present Mic. I consider them as my dad's so you can refer to them as my fathers ."
" Okay back to your boyfriend and you , how do you think he feels ?" She asked " I think he hates me and wants to break up and go to Deku." " Who's Deku??" she questioned.
" My childhood best friend and ex boyfriend and ex bullied victim" I said bluntly . " You Bullied him?"
" Yeah , I don't even know I felt like I was taking out my problems and insecurities onto him" I feel ashamed talking about Deku and our past.
" how about next session we should talk about your trauma and what you experienced" I nodded because I can't say no.
" So do you ever hear negative thoughts like to hurt yourself or to cause harm-" just as she was talking the alarm went off.
" I guess that's our session I see you nexttime and you did very good" She said smiling and waving goodbye as I walked out that was the most embarrassing and humiliating 2 hours of my life I'm so pathetic".
——————-
Dad came to pick me up asked me how my dad was and I didn't feel like answering like I'm so fucking embarrassed.
I think I develop a new habit I bite my thumb when I get anxious or nervous or when something bothering me.
I got out the car, when we pulled up to the house I went to my room and lock the door for unwanted guests ( like Eyebags) I went to the bathroom to take a shower and I just felt disgusted with myself I don't know how to explain it.
-------------------------------------------------------
I hope it's good I been having a writer blockage so don't hate me if it sucks ass 😀🥲
Word count : 1299