It was the end of a very long and strange day as Seyfi Cicek ushered Aydan Bolat out of the attorney's office. When Aydan had been summoned for the reading of her ex-husband's will both of them thought that it was odd, very odd. They had been divorced for almost ten years and she had never kept up with him. Aptekin Bolat chose to move to another country rather than stay in her vicinity, or so she thought.
Exiting the building Aydan leaned over to Seyfi, whispering so that they weren't overheard, "Did you get in touch with Serkan? Wasn't he supposed to be here?"
Rolling his eyes Seyfi responded, "I called him to let him know that Aptekin had died and that he was wanted at the reading of his will. All he said was 'No' before hanging up on me, It was rather loud in the background when I called, probably another party."
"What will become of him? He is so reckless with his lifestyle," she shook her head. When had her sweet boy turned into a hard-partying playboy? What had happened to him? Aydan knew that these were rhetorical questions since Serkan would barely talk to her these days, he wanted no lectures from her. She also knew exactly what happened to him. As much as her son thought he was alone in his troubles, he was not.
"Do we even know why the lawyer wanted him there?"
Seyfi patted his breast pocket, "I was given documents to deliver to him. I guess that I'll be heading to Izmir tomorrow."
Serkan Bolat downed the remaining bourbon in his glass and turned up the music. He surveyed all the people in his house, there for the free food, alcohol and fun, not for him. He spied a blonde in the corner, she had been eyeing him all night, she would do he supposed. He looked at his watch, it was after midnight already, Serkan gave her a nod and she headed his way. Shepherding her towards the stairs to his bedroom he turned to the partygoers and shouted, "Last call, everyone out in thirty."
He didn't stay to make sure that they would leave. He knew that they would, if the parasites wanted to come back then they needed to obey his orders. Serkan turned back to the blonde, not bothering to get her name, she wasn't permanent, this was just sex. He sent her home in a car shortly after four, preferring to sleep alone. When a woman stayed overnight she tended to get ideas and he didn't want anyone clinging to him. Serkan rolled over, not satisfied and empty, the hollow gutted feeling still haunted him, he ignored it and drifted off to sleep.
Seyfi arrived in Izmir just after nine and headed for Serkan's house on the coast. Every time he came here he was struck by the beauty of the location and the house that Serkan had built as his escape. Seyfi knew that Serkan was struggling but he was going down a bad path. Ever since his brother was killed in the freak accident on the jobsite two years ago, Serkan had spiraled. He was one of the most gifted architects of his generation and now he was wasting that talent along with his life.
He let himself into the house to see the remnants of another party, Seyfi could only hope that he would find Serkan in bed alone this time. He had no desire to walk in on him and his bedmate again. Seyfi never referred to them as girlfriends, they weren't, they were just a warm body. Making his way to the bedroom and listened for any sound that would indicate he needed to turn around and wait downstairs. With no noises making their way to him Seyfi proceeded silently down the hall, the bedroom door was wide open and he could see only one body in the bed. His lucky day he thought sarcastically. Seyfi walked into the room to find a sheet clad Serkan sprawled on the bed. The man might look like he was deeply asleep but Seyfi knew better, the sheet might be torn up from an encounter with a woman but the clenched fingers on the pillow were anything but calm.
He cleared his throat, "How long do you plan on lazing about?"
The voice penetrated the slight alcohol fog still clouding his brain, "Go to hell Seyfi."
The tsk noise made by Seyfi let Serkan know that the man wasn't leaving, "It would appear as though I've already arrived in hell."
Serkan lifted his eyelids a fraction and took in his mother's friend and loyal retainer by the bedroom door, "I told you that I had no intention of going to the will reading. Why are you here?"
Seyfi turned to leave, "I'll put on some coffee in the disaster area downstairs. Get dressed and come meet me."
Closing his eyes again before rolling to his back, Serkan knew that his sleep was at an end for the morning. Not that he was sleeping particularly well but he had tried. He stared at the ceiling, Serkan knew why Seyfi was here and he already told the man that he didn't give a damn what Aptekin Bolat wanted in death. The man never had time for him in life so why should he return the favor after the man left this earth? Knowing that Seyfi was persistent, Serkan pushed himself up and headed to the bathroom. After washing up and relieving himself he headed for the closet.
The splash in the pool and then the rhythmic strokes of laps being swum reached Seyfi, so this was how Serkan intended on playing the game. That was fine by Seyfi, he had time, he could wait him out. When the doorbell rang he let the cleaning service in and took coffee and the paper out to the pool to entertain himself.
Serkan had been swimming laps for at least an hour, Seyfi was still sitting at the end of the pool sipping coffee and reading the paper. Apparently he had no plans of leaving thought Serkan every time he turned at that end of the pool. He knew that Seyfi was tenacious, he had been that way the entire twenty years that he had known the man. Serkan swam to the end and pulled himself out of the pool, a devilish part of him wanted to shake himself off like a dog but then he was sure that Seyfi would have no problem comparing him to one and he didn't need the reminder. Instead he walked over to the coffee pot and poured himself a cup.
"Why are you here Seyfi? I told you that I wouldn't be coming to the will reading. That bastard had nothing that I wanted," he sat next to the older man.
"Neither did your mother but she still went out of curiosity. There was no need for her to go either, the bastard, as you call him, left her a video. She thought he would apologize but he really just blamed her for his cheating, Aydan was not amused. He left you this," Seyfi handed Serkan the envelope, "And before you shred it I am supposed to let you know that you will continue to receive them until you actually read it."
He set the letter down, "I'll be back," Serkan headed upstairs to shower and change. Seyfi knew that he planned on shredding the letter, it was just like his bastard of a father to try destroying his life even in death. Serkan stepped into the shower, control his life? The man had left them, they didn't leave him. No the lying bastard had run off with his mistress, one of many. Serkan slowed his hand movements as he washed himself, was he turning into his father? He shook off the thought. He wasn't in a committed relationship or married to anyone. Serkan despised the thought that he could be anything like the man.
If there was one thing that Serkan hated it was self-introspection. He hated that psychobabble that therapists threw out there. 'Why do you think that you are shirking your responsibilities Mr. Bolat?' and he was shirking them, thrusting the business more heavily onto Engin and Pyril, his business partners. Serkan knew that he was in a negative spiral but he had no idea of how to pull himself out and all the therapy in the world hadn't helped.
Serkan served himself some of the breakfast that Seyfi had thoughtfully provided for him and went back out to the patio. The older man handed him the letter again, "Fine, I'll read it," he slit open the envelope and extracted two sheets of paper, he assumed that the handwritten one was from his father but didn't recognize the writing. It wasn't like they were close or that they had ever corresponded.
The letter began, 'If you are reading this letter than I have lost my race with the devil. I won't pretend to apologize for the way that I have treated you, even I know that you will never believe it. I have tried to make amends, tried to be a better father the second go around.' What was Aptekin talking about, the second go around? He continued to read, 'Mariela and I were blessed with three wonderful children, two girls and a boy. What I failed to give you and Alp I tried to rectify by giving it to them but I will admit that I failed them too once their mother died. Your sister Defne is fifteen, impressionable and stubborn, your brother Emir is lost and trying to find his way, at twelve, I worry for him. Then there is little Ebru, only five, she has struggled the most. She hasn't spoken a word since her mother died and I am not enough for her.'
He put down the letter in disbelief, not having finished it, "Do you know what is in this Seyfi?"
"No. I had to swear to the attorney that I wouldn't read it. Why?"
"Did you know that Aptekin had another family? That he had this family while he was still married to my mother? They've only been divorced ten years. The bastard had children with his mistress, three of them," Serkan gave a cold laugh, "He said that he failed Alp and I. Hell he never even tried with us." He tried to control his anger to read the rest of the letter, 'You and Alp were two peas in a pod, so alike and yet so different. I never worried about leaving you because you had each other and your mother had both of you to rely on. I know that I am making excuses but in death you can make excuses and no one can tell you differently. With Mariela gone the children are now alone. I had always intended for you and Alp to one day meet them and now it is too late with Alp. Your brother and sisters need you Serkan. You can make them whole again like you and Alp made each other whole. I have left the care of them to you. The attorney has the letter outlining everything. I wish I had been a better father to you and can only hope that you will embrace the children and help them to reach their potential. Your father, Aptekin.'
Serkan was shaking in anger, "He wants me to assume custody of his children. . . . . . ." he handed the letter to Seyfi who was staring at him in disbelief.
Seyfi shook his head at the letter, "The bastard couldn't even come to Alp's funeral and he asks this of you?"
Giving a derisive snort Serkan read the letter from the attorney, "Money. It always boils down to money. . . . . . . . Aptekin died almost broke but he had an insurance policy worth millions for the care of his children," he continued reading, "And then his second insurance policy was when he thought to pawn his offspring on me." He pushed away from the chair and began to pace. The nerve of the man, thinking that he would manipulate him even in death.
"What happens if you don't take the children Serkan?"
He re-read the letter, "It doesn't say and honestly I don't care. I've never met these children. Hell, this is the first I've heard of them. Why should I be responsible for them?"
Serkan handed Seyfi the letter, "It doesn't matter and you can save your commentary, I'm headed back to Istanbul this evening. Engin is going to be out of the office starting a new project soon and I should probably show my face. I'm making a command appearance." He knew that he had been a horrible partner but every time he thought about ArtLife and the loss of Alp the uncontrollable grief overtook him and he wanted to run. Serkan and Alp were partners in ArtLife with Engin and Pyril, the company was an idea that Serkan had while still at University. Engin was his lifelong friend and also an architecture major, it made sense for the two of them to start a business together. Then they met Pyril their third year and she was a natural fit. Engin and Pyril had married after University and welcomed their first child a few months earlier. Serkan's absence was putting unnecessary pressure on both of them.
Two years after the business had been open, Alp joined them. A structural engineer by trade, it made sense, he was a natural fit, with him came his fiancée Selin Atakan to manage the public relations for the firm. Alp was good at his job, his addition was seamless, and Serkan loved being able to work with his older brother. Engin was close with Alp too, they called themselves a band of brothers from a young age. Serkan and Engin tolerated Selin, she did good work but for them the lure was working with Alp. Pyril had met Alp any number of times over the years and welcomed him like a brother too. She and Selin were polite co-workers, they came from different backgrounds and had little in common. Pyril was never rude to Selin but like her husband and Serkan, she welcomed Alp to ArtLife as family.
Selin had grown up with the Bolat brothers. When she and Alp started dating Serkan thought nothing of it, when they became engaged he was happy for his brother. Selin wasn't anyone that he ever would have been interested in but Alp seemed very happy with her. The accident that took Alp from them never should have happened, he was inspecting something with the foreman when he tripped on a cord, he tried to regain his balance and pitched himself through the temporary rail on the tenth floor, falling to his death. Serkan had been inconsolable, blaming himself for the accident, if he hadn't brought Alp in to the firm he would still be alive.
He struggled with Alp's death, drinking heavily more often then he should and then Serkan made the biggest mistake yet. A distraught Selin showed up at his apartment during one of his wild parties and one thing led to another, before he knew it they were in bed together, trying to erase some of the misery that they were both suffering from. He regretted it before it was over and pulled away from her, telling Selin that it was a mistake but she wanted to continue the affair. He was crude, he knew he had been, the next time Selin stopped over Serkan had another woman in the apartment and he proceeded to have sex with her in front of Selin. He knew that she was approaching the apartment, the security had pinged. Serkan didn't even know who he was having sex with, it was another warm body, someone to lose himself in. Afterwards he felt dirty, hollow, and turned to the bourbon.
Engin had found him face down on the floor the next morning after he hadn't shown for work. He picked Serkan up and threw him fully dressed into the shower. It wasn't the first time that he and Engin had an argument and it wasn't even the worst one. His friend was suffering as well and Serkan had selfishly made it about himself. Right now their friendship was hanging on by a thread.
Tomorrow Serkan would begin to repair his relationship with Engin. Serkan wasn't making the changes for Aptekin he was making them because he was sick and tired of feeling empty. He had been building towards a return for months. Each party was successively more irritating, the women more grasping. Serkan was sick and tired of feeling like shit and only he could do something about it.
Work was what he knew. ArtLife was his company and he had done a grave dis-service to both Engin and Pyril, he owed them both apologies. They had been keeping the company afloat while he wallowed in his misery. They had lost Alp too as Engin pointed out on more than one occasion. Serkan didn't bother to pack that afternoon, he had clothes at his apartment. Seyfi had stayed with him, returning on the same flight with him to Istanbul. The lack of trust rolling off of Seyfi was a measure of how far he had fallen.
When they were parting at the air terminal Seyfi turned to Serkan, "You know it wouldn't kill you to visit your mother either. She's been rather lonely, your loss was her loss too."
Having had enough of Seyfi for the day, Serkan threw up his hand in a farewell gesture. His issue with his mother had nothing to do with him not loving her. No, his issue with his mother had to do with her thinking that he could step in as poor Selin's fiancé. He had told no one of the unfortunate encounter with Selin. Serkan would never marry the woman. Her insistence that it would be acceptable to continue an affair disgusted him, almost as much as sleeping with her had turned his stomach in the first place. It was a mistake not to be repeated.
He headed to his apartment in the city. Serkan knew that he needed to move, once some of the single women in the building realized that he was home, they would be knocking on his door again and he had no desire to entertain them right now. He should just move into the spec house that he was building and be done with it. The place was furnished and expertly decorated by Pyril, without giving it another thought Serkan stopped at his apartment, packed a large suitcase and headed to the house. He had managed to escape unnoticed from the building.
Pulling up the drive to the house, Serkan was overcome with a sense of calm. It was the first time in almost two years that he had the feeling.
"Is this where I'm supposed to be Alp?" Serkan asked the sky.