Kenjaku's POV
Flashback
"If you could ask a girl out right now. Who would it be?" Chase had said to me, almost excitedly for literally no apparent reason at all.
"No one at the moment."
"C'mon, man! There has to be someone."
"I am not having this conversation with you."
Chase always had a sense of wanting to piss me off all the time. Despite how quiet he is around his family, he was always talking with me. I noticed how he was pondering at his own words, before answering. And what's up with his new style? Split hair dyed of black and green? What an ugly color.
"I'd ask out my sister's best friend. She's so pretty and fun to talk to." He answered. I honestly couldn't give a fuck about whatever he had to say or who he was talking about. I've never taken a girl seriously as most were just bitches who only care about gossip and attention.
I started walking with Chase following beside me. We were at a place that I've been waiting to go to. I wouldn't exactly say Chase was my friend, but due to his connections to him and his mom, it was honestly a whole lot easier dealing and making money. I know it was years since I started which I knew I was WAY too young to even associate myself with it. Still am, but not the point. It was just easy money.
I already knew who he was talking about, because she was my friend, too, but he didn't know that. I found her interesting but not enough to actually pursue her. I just found it really fucking amusing that she'd literally do anything for me. I always thought she was just like Mai, since she hung out with her a lot.
Mai isn't good in bed, not even when she's using her mouth, but anything to get a fuck buddy, right? I can name a whole list of all the guys she's been with.
"There's just something about her.. she's easy to get along with- Is that her?" Chase said looking away. When I followed his stares, I don't know what it was but something.. just something. More like I felt something when I had laid my eyes on her.
Had she always dress like that or is this a sudden thing?
Everyone who was in the area stared at her with awe, taking second glances. She was with Chase's mom, Tezuka, and her friends. Even though her outfit was revealing and was standing out, Y/n seemed to have kept a good distance between her and that one Shion guy, and the other guy.
I'll admit, Shion is a pretty cool guy for his age, but I found it unsettling of the way he constantly wanted to be around her. If Chase could hear my thoughts right now, he'd definitely think I'm crushing on her.
But what was it about Y/n that made her look different today? Besides the outfit.
Of all the years I've known Y/n, there was one thing that I can honestly say I was drawn to and that was her smile. Every time she spoke, she was always smiling. You'd think anyone get tired of seeing the constant smile every. Single. Day. But no one felt that way with her. And the thing people would always say is how much they like her teeth. Which was weird for me, but understandable. Everyone's into their own things. Everyone just seemed to know her or heard of her. I didn't even know she was this popular until a few months ago, and it seemed like she always turned heads everywhere she went.
"Nice boots." A male said while walking by her. I watched as her smile grew, her face turning red. I liked her boots, too. Black leather knee high boots with chains on the side. I knew her style of choice was alternative. It was almost as if she was born to be part of that specific kind of aesthetic. Every single time we hung out together, she always wore black boots in different styles.
"Thank you so much!" She said happily as she turned to him while still walking. The guy stopped in his tracks, almost as if he saw a ghost. I thought he was going to do something, that was until he shouted, drawing more attention to them.
"Wow! You have very pretty voice!! I'll give you twenty bucks right now if you sing!"
I couldn't help but chuckle as she shamelessly took a drink of her cup of water.
And that's exactly what she did. She sang. I knew for sure wasn't going to get those lyrics out of my head for a while, because her voice was soft, yet amazing.
"Saw your eyes today,
In a memory painted in disguise..
You smiled and said to me,
'A love like this can never truly die'.
Let's just say you're right,
And the nightmare ends,
We wake up side by side.
What makes you think that I would let you live?
I've really lost my mind."
Sometimes, I forget that she's into music like that, only because she doesn't look like she listens to that kind of music and just admires the sense of style. I knew exactly what song it and who it was by, but I didn't like it. What made it funny was that I was the one who showed her that band.
Y/n was honestly the only person I could talk about music to. She always seemed to be interested in almost everything. I remember one day when we met up together, she was wearing a shirt and just to see if she listened to the band, I asked her about it.
She was the only person I've met who actually knew the band.
"I'm leaving." I said to Chase, not wanting to watch her anymore. She was with her friends.
_________________________________
Everything I did was to tease her. Never did I think she'd be sleeping peacefully next to me. Somehow, since that day, I just wanted to be around her, but why?
I guess I always did care for her since the moment we met. She was like a fragile doll, and I wanted to take her away because I knew what Shion's and Tezuka's intentions were. I did love her. Very much than I'll ever admit. But why did she have to be like this? I'll never know why or how she can be so.. so..
How does she do that?
I believe one thing that I knew I couldn't stand about her. Her intuition bothered me, and it somehow manage to piss me off. I swear, anyone can literally lie to her face and she'd be able to tell right off the bat that they were lying. I had to dull her in some way. After all, she has been losing her talents slowly otherwise she would've known about my other phone by now. That reminds me.. I need to see that one girl from the bar soon. She still owes me for what I gave her.
I've always wondered if the rumors of Y/n and how she was at her old school was true. They say that she had a lot of friends, despite having a bitchy attitude and her bluntness about.. everything. She had gotten in at least two or three fights before and won, but even with an attitude like hers, she was always nice upon first meeting or to anyone she liked. There were even some that said she jumped from guy to guy almost every week, having a new boyfriend every month.
I do remember she was supposed to transfer school, and I think no one knew why but I did. She lost all her friends because of Mai. Apparently, Y/n was into a guy, and the guy had liked her, too. Jealousy had taken over Mai because Y/n had supposedly stolen an ex boyfriend from her, so she wanted to get her back. Somehow, Mai managed to get Y/n's crush to sleep with her. Once Mai was confronted by Y/n about it, because someone in their friend group had told her, Mai claimed it was r*pe to keep whatever innocence she clearly didn't have. When I said Y/n's intuition was good, I wasn't lying. She saw right through Mai's lie and decided to be, like what all of them are, a bitch.
Rumors were Y/n forgave Mai on the spot, others said she fought Mai that day after school. The only one I believed the most about that outcome was one that said Y/n looked at Mai smugly and said, "Doesn't it feel weird? Going back to back from guy to guy, and forcing them to hang out with each other? Or, do they not know?" Now, her comeback wasn't all that or even a threat.. Yet, Mai got defensive.
As the days went by, Y/n started losing her friends and popularity one by one, every single day. It was all Mai's doing. Though, on Y/n's last day of going to her old school, she had something planned. To get back at Mai for making her lose everything, she made out with the guy that Mai was accusing her of stealing and did it in front of the whole school.
That wasn't the Y/n I know.
Rumors spread far and wide, enough to reach the ears of people who probably didn't know anyone involved. I guess it tarnished her reputation a lot, especially since her family owns companies on both sides. Her mom and her dad, her real dad. And I doubt hanging out with Tezuka and Shion helped either. They were big time dealers and known to be alcoholics, after all.
I reached to stroke her hair gently, I didn't want to wake her. she did stir in her sleep from my touch, but didn't wake up. She was warm, hot even. I would've thought she had a fever if she didn't lean into my touch in her sleep.
The Y/n I knew were far from what everyone made her out to be. She was kind, gentle, very nice and polite. She did like to joke around sometimes, and not to mention, she was sort of what I would call, "a blonde". Sometimes, I wondered to myself how managed to overlook all her qualities back then and not adoring her as much as I do now.
Normally, I'd think of females who play coy or acting stupid on purpose because they think it's cute or whatever as annoying. Y/n on the other hand, wasn't like that. I don't know why but it was cute when she'd do it, but I guess it's because she actually wasn't acting. She was serious, and completely unaware of her actions or words until after I pointed it out. Never once has she gotten offended. She was the type of person who can laugh at herself.
I remember a time when I had gotten sick and she took care of me. I'm not the type of person who likes to take medicine, no matter how bad I would be, but Y/n insisted. I don't how many times I told her no, but gave in anyway because she just couldn't leave me alone about it. She told me to rate on a scale of 1 to 10 how bad I was feeling. After receiving an answer, she handed me two pills to take for my sickness, and another for.. I forgot what but she said it was important. She gave me all three pills, and expected me to take them all at once, and not one at a time.
Realizing her mistake, she burst into a fit of laughter when I asked, "What kind of pills are you taking that you think I can take all of them at once?"
Or when we were watching a video together and it had a scene of the outdoors, away from any civilization, and she had asked me, "Do you think wild animals are out there?"
Before I could even give her an answer to her question, she held her hand out and stopped me from answering. She was trying not to laugh, rubbing her temples, clearly noticing how stupid her question was. Y/n had gotten up from her spot on the couch and walked into the bathroom, and that's when I heard it. She was laughing at herself while in the bathroom. She didn't even use the bathroom. I think she was just that embarrassed of her question, she felt the need to hide from me.
I think the thing I hated most about her was when she'd get angry or bothered by something. She was very fucking stubborn, and if she didn't get her way or what she wanted, she'd make sure to hold it against me.
Okay! So, a cat didn't want to come home with us, with her, but what the fuck did that have to do with me?!
To shut her up and keep her from pouting or ruining my day more than she already had, I promised to get her one. Somehow, she always managed to find her way out of certain situations or conversations that were serious, and that was one of the times she did that sort of thing. I don't think she even realized it. I had asked Y/n if I did get her a cat, what would she name it. She said it depended on what it looked like, but I could give her recommendations on names.
The hold this girl has on me was amazing, and to think I had a certain hold on her. I knew that very much, but I'm pretty sure she didn't. I'm only saying that Y/n's hold on me is amazing because thinking about it now, I sounded stupid giving her names.
"What do you think of 'Cuddle Buddy', or 'Fluffykins'?"
She laughed at me.
I was mad.
But my anger was quickly washed away when she pulled me into her embrace and kissed my cheek. "How did you come up with those names?" She asked while giggling against my chest, one hand caressing my cheek and the other grasping my shirt as if she were trying to keep her laughter under control.
I shrugged as I replied with, "Well, I'd like to hear you come up with a name, and it better not be something boring like 'Fluffy'."
This only made Y/n laugh even more. Her sense of humor was weird. I understand that she can be simple minded or so, but she was incredibly smart and talented. I think she would purposely keep an active mind to keep her from thinking about everything she went through with Shion and Tezuka because she was never like that before. She even had this thing where she could always tell when people were talking about her or us when we'd go out together. She would hear or see EVERYTHING!
If someone were talking bad, gossiping or judging, I could always sense her anxiety eating away inside of her. Y/n was never the type of person who cared about what people think or say, but after Tezuka and Shion, parts of her were never the same.
Ding
Just the message I've been waiting for. At least, Y/n was still asleep. I slowly made my way off the bed to prevent her from waking up. I grabbed my jacket and quietly walked out of my apartment.
I should be back by at least five in the morning or so. I know if this bitch doesn't have any money for the fucking the thing she's been desperate for, I don't care. She's paying me one way or another.
I'd never let a woman pick me up, but I'll make an exception just this once.
"You actually managed to slip away from your little girlfriend?" The lady asked. She was smiling as she kept her eyes on the road. Her brown eyes were nothing compared to Y/n's (e/c) ones. She seemed a little too eager and too full of herself right now than she did at the bar.
"Yes, I did. And I would do it again for you."
I wouldn't.
God, I need to stop doing this. It's getting fucking exhausting and it's not like any of these girls were anything compared to Y/n. I need to stop doing this to her, too, and other things. I think this will be the last time, because I'm tired of all this sneaking around and hiding.
Three fucking years...
And I don't think I'll ever find another girl who can wear a deep shade of red lipstick that Y/n always wore. It suited her, and only her. I only brought up the topic of the future with children because I knew just how serious I was with her. Spending these three years with her as my girlfriend and not a friend was the best years of my entire life. I don't want anyone to receive the care and love she shows me. If anything, I earned it after all those years of being there for her even when she didn't ask me to be.
Everything she did made me want nothing else but a life with her.
This was definitely going to be the last time.
It was probably four in the morning or so after I had gotten done doing business with the lady. While I was getting dressed, something was missing, but I wasn't sure what exactly it was. And that's when it finally hit me. My eyes widened at the realization.
My phone wasn't in my pocket.
I even looked all the places I went in this house and as the lady was driving me back home to my apartment, I was looking around in her car but didn't have any luck.
We pulled up in the parking lot and without saying anything to her, or even waiting for the car to come to a full stop, I jumped off the car, slamming it shut behind me.
How stupid could I have been?
Oh, well.
Y/n was bound to find out one way or another, but it's not like she has anywhere to go, so I know she wouldn't leave me.
I barged into my apartment, not caring about the noise I was making, because I just needed my phone. I went into the bedroom as quickly as possible and saw the bed empty. As I scanned the room for my phone and Y/n, I saw how the bathroom light was turned on.
She was probably just using the bathroom.
I found my phone sitting on the night stand and picked up instantly. Nothing had been touched or bothered. I sighed in relief, and put it away where I always hid it and waited patiently for her to return to bed.
A few minutes had gone by and I had not heard anything at all. Maybe she was sick or something? Fallen asleep in there?
Ha. Y/n wouldn't do such a thing. She always loved to be comfortable if she were to sleep. I walked over to the bathroom door and knocked three times. "Y/n?"
No answer.
"Are you okay in there, sweetheart?"
Still no answer.
I reached for the doorknob, and turned it, but it was locked. I decided to wait a little longer, but three minutes into waiting, I just lost it and unlocked the door from the outside.
The bathroom was empty.
I looked all over the apartment, even on the balcony, but couldn't find her anywhere. Only her phone that had been plugged into the charger on her side of the bed. Nothing of her belongings were missing, only her shoes. I should've noticed that the second I walked inside.
"Fuck.."
"Fuck, fuck.. FUCK!!!"
I grabbed my car keys and walked out the door, leaving my apartment unlocked just in case. I ran to my car and started driving around.
Nothing.
Not a single trace of her anywhere.