Chapter 20
Samuel Pov
A/N I appreciate all of those that have voted and commented, and the ones that went back and voted on previous chapters - it hasn't gone left unnoticed. Thank you.
After not hearing from Candice, I'm not going to lie, I was feeling a little concerned. When I got to her place it was clear nothing was wrong with her physically, but she had a frosty ass attitude. She was all dressed up, looking good enough to eat in that tight dress that revealed her cleavage, and her hair was down which complimented her face well, but my focus was on why she looked like she was going somewhere without telling me, and why she was telling me to move out of the way. There was no doubt about it, she was acting up. She looked sexy as fuck standing there looking all mad, it made me want to take her right here, but I don't want her being annoyed at me for something so trivial.
I was puzzled at her actions, "Why are you acting like this Candice?" I was standing in her doorway, as she was making it clear as day that I wasn't welcome inside. Why was she acting so petty? I genuinely didn't understand what I had gone wrong, I told her already, I got her view from earlier on with Brandy. Shit, I was willing to prove that no other woman had my attention right now except for her.
"Why am I acting like this? Why am I acting?" I watched as she went from 0 to a 100, she looked really mad right about now. The fuck. I blinked, wondering why she was repeating herself, and acting all wild. I never had Candice down, for being this type of woman. Then again, my judgement isn't always the best. A thorough background check can only tell you so much, it's not like I can get Trace to research Candice's personality as well.
"The only person that has been acting here is you." She screeched. Her hands were on her hips as she looked up at me, with nothing but hate.
Shit. Why would she say I'm acting, I've been nothing but hones- Shit. She must have heard something about Simone coming in today. Based on how the woman sounded on the front desk, and how ratchet Toya is, there must have been a big arse scene. Maybe someone saw and ran their mouth off about it. Whoever the fuck it was, is about to get fired.
"Yeah that's fucking right, I know, so you can stop acting and playing whatever game you was trying to play" Beneath all the anger and the harsh sting of her words, I could tell she was hurt by the look in her eyes. No wonder she was trying to cut me off. Fucking Simone. Why the fuck did she decide to turn up after four whole months? Especially as I told her ass to stay put.
"Candice" I said her name softly, I could sense her pain. I get that she didn't want to talk. Her ignoring my phone calls clarified that but I can't leave here without saying my side of the story because I know right now it looks bad. More than bad and I can't even imagine the thoughts running through her mind.
I blocked the doorway with my foot, "Let me explain." I had to plea my case.
"Was the woman lying about being your wife, Samuel?" she held her ground, standing tall - but still shorter than me in her high heels.
Because I had forced the door to remain open, our distance had become closed. Her tone of voice and our closeness began to turn me on, but I tried to keep my head clear. I need to concentrate on not losing her, before I even managed to get her to be officially mine. "No but let me-"
"Then there is nothing to explain," she interjected with a sharp no nonsense voice, "if you even had a little respect for me you'd me leave me the fuck alone. I don't want to talk Samuel."
Fuck, a part of me didn't want to talk either... but I know we needed to. I sighed, which was probably a mistake on my part, because I didn't really have the right to be frustrated. She raised her eyebrow at me as I rested my arm on the frame of the door. It's not that I didn't care what she wanted, it's just I know that whatever it is we have, would be over if I stepped away. "I'm not leaving until you listen to me. Look. Candice, I'm sorry because I should have told you before but it's a complicated situation. I didn't want you mixed up in it"
"You didn't want me mixed up in it, but you ran your game on me. You didn't want me mixed up in it, but you fucked me though, knowing you had a wife. Doesn't that make it more complicated?" She was really hyped up and it seemed despite her not wanting to talk, she wanted answers.
I leaned forward until we were almost touching, "Let me come inside" I pleaded.
The innuendo wasn't intentional, but for a brief second the atmosphere changed. I saw her face soften, and a flash of lust in her mud brown eyes, before the anger returned to her delicately placed features.
I thanked her, once she stepped to the side slightly to let me in. I knew she only relented because she saw I wasn't leaving until I got to say my piece. I saw her roll her eyes back, as a response, before she walked straight into the living room, not even looking back to see if I shut the door. Though she was still hostile, I was grateful she had let me in. I followed behind her, trying to avoid looking the beautiful view of her arse, she was giving me. I had to find a way to explain where I was coming from and I could not fuck it up.
"You wanted to talk, so talk. Explain to me how doing what you did, didn't make it more complicated" her attitude was still present, but I could understand why. I had already said the wrong thing. She sat down on the love seat, whilst I sat on the chair opposite.
"Firstly, Candice I didn't fuck you. I made love to you multiple times. You felt that, and I felt it too." I told her straight up - we didn't just fuck, I put it on her good after I told her how I felt, and she knows it.
She snorted. Her face remained hardened as she sat opposite me.
"Simone and I have been separated since before you came to work for me. Just over four months ago. She's still technically my wife on paper but she won't sign the divorce papers I gave her when I ended things."
"Simone" she repeated, like she was in a daze. She peered over at me with confusion, some of the anger seemed to have been lost, "But see Samuel, I don't understand why you couldn't have just said that in the first place."
I was about to explain why I didn't but I couldn't even think of how to start.
"And she's fucking pregnant, y'all broke up four months ago. Why was you so quick to jump into something with me? Shouldn't you be focusing on your child?" Candice questioned coldly, with one leg crossed over the other. I could see her thick, juicy thighs as her dress had ridden up a bit. I couldn't help but glance.
I felt backed into a corner, because I had to justify so many things at once but I could hear how bad it all sounded to her. When she mentioned the baby it hit a nerve, but I didn't react fully because I needed Candice to understand. I was glad she was giving me the chance to talk.
My jaw clenched, "That baby that woman is carrying probably doesn't belong to me. That woman I married was a" I paused because I couldn't think of another word to say without calling her out of her name, "she worked for a pimp, she sold her body for a living. Candice, that woman lied to me. The whole time we were together she was still working for him." the pain was evident in my voice.
I couldn't tell what Candice was thinking as she sat there silently analysing me, but she wasn't interrupting and she didn't seem to be as hyped up as before, so I continued. I could hear the anger in my voice as I spoke about what Simone did. The truth is, I'd never had to really explain the situation to anybody in detail, so I never felt so humiliated by the situation. Once again Candice was making me feel like I needed to open up to her. "I found out after she told me she was pregnant. That's when I confronted her. She didn't want to sign the papers, and I left. I can show you, if you want to see. I had people watching her though to make sure that she didn't do anything stupid that would affect the baby. I didn't just leave her to it. I even got people to go with her to her appointments. I left her with the house. It's just a waiting game until the baby is born, but I'm not with that bit- I'm not with her."
My elbows rested on my knees, my head was tilted downwards with my hands on either side of my head. "Before today, I hadn't even seen her since I brought my new place that same day I left"
I looked up at Candice to see that her demeanour had changed, her expression seemed more relaxed and her body language was completely different. She now sat without her legs crossed, and arms folded. "We both know that what happened between us just happened" I saw her flinch slightly and realised I needed to be more careful with my words. "What I mean is I didn't intend to jump into anything with you. Shit, I didn't even think I'd want to be with another woman again in a relationship, after how she made me feel," I expressed honestly, "but everything I was said to you that day in the office was true. Like I said, I knew from when you stepped into my office I liked you, but I didn't act on it. You confronting me is what started this, because I decided I had to just be real and tell you how I felt. One thing led to another and here we are, and I don't even know what this is, but we both wanted it. And though we technically haven't made it official in my eyes we were. You made me forget about Simone and what she did. To be honest I tried to ignore her all together, and I apologise for that because it's now affected you, well us."
Candice and I stared at each other for a moment before she finally spoke, "This is just a lot to get my head around. Samuel, you should have said this all before. I would have understood, maybe we could have even waited. This just seems like a mess" her voiced held slight anger and pain, and eyes were glossy, but no tears had formed.
I wanted to sit beside her, wrap my arms around her and tell her it's a mess that could be fixed, but I knew it was too soon for all of that. I only just got her to listen to me.
"I didn't want to get you involved, but I should have had more self control. I wasn't looking for anything after that. There's just something about you tha-" I stopped myself from becoming to corny.
She bit down on her lip, "Samuel"
I looked up at her. I really wanted to know if she understood where I was coming from.
"I'm sorry to hear about how it went down with your wife" Her opening statement surprised me. I wanted her to get me, but I didn't expect her to feel sympathetic. I didn't want her pity. I felt like the opposite of a man, when my eyes started to water a little. Id never really been forced to reflect on the whole situation before without focusing on the feeling of anger. This was the first time I'd openly admitted I was hurt.
I stayed silent, as she continued to talk. Her voice seemed like it caressing the air, "I'm not saying that what you did was right but I get it, now I know."
I gulped, to get rid of the funny feeling in my throat. I should have just told her from the beginning.
"This whole thing is just..." She sighed deeply, "There's still a possibility that this baby could be yours so you hiding and thinking you could brush it to the side was more than wrong of you. If you found out it was yours then what? This situation would be even worse than it already is. The way I had to find all this out was just the worst, you don't even understand. If you're serious about wanting to be serious, then what about everyone knowing you have a wife" her voice raised slightly, "how the hell would that look?"
The lines in my forehead became visible as my eyes met with a stressed out looking Candice. This was what i was trying to avoid but everything that just came out of Candice's mouth had truth to it. I was not thinking of the consequences of the baby being mine because I really didn't want it to be, not anymore. I just wanted for Simone to disappear.
"I know. I didn't want to think about it being mine, despite that baby being the highlight of my life at one point. I can admit to you that I'm scared at the possibility of me having to raise a child with that woman. And I shouldn't have got you involved. I know. I wanted you and I wasn't thinking of the bigger picture. I understand though, Candice I get how you must feel but trust me what everyone thinks isn't even a problem. I would fix that side of things, if it came to it but that would depend on whether you want to move forward now that you know. I don't know if you remember when I said, on our first date that there was always something missing. That thing that missing is finding someone where shit is just real. You feel me? Like I love that person, and that person loves me back. I know it's too soon to start talking about love, but I feel it with you. I understand if you want to end it now but if you give me a chance then-" I paused. I didn't really know what to say after that. Then, what? Shit, it all depended on whether she felt the same way. Whether she could put it all on the line for the chance of the real thing despite me fucking up.
A part of me hated that Candice always had the power to make me feel vulnerable. I've put myself on the line more than I have in my whole life, with Candice in the last three days.
She was biting her lip again, looking like she wanted to say something as she searched my face with undeniable emotion. She seemed to have conflicting thoughts. Shit, so did I. I would get it, if she just wanted to move on.
I cleared my throat gaining back my composure, "Don't worry about finding work, if you decide to end things. I'll hook you up with an affiliated company." I said lowly.
"Don't do that" She said scanning my face.
I looked at Candice, who was sitting directly across from me, "Don't do what?"
"Don't dismiss all what you said, and talk about work when it isn't about that. I'm not going to lie and say I didn't think work would be affected. I was planning to leave, but this conversation is about us. I can't give you an answer right now Samuel. I just need to think this through"
I wondered if she knew that I was just trying to cover up the hurt I'd feel if I was to get rejected. Of course I understood that she would need to time wrap her head around it all.
"Okay" I replied. My voice reflected my relief, "I should probably get going, and give you some space" I felt like Id overstayed my welcome, and clearly she was planning to go out. I was just hoping that she felt as deep about us, as I do - and that I was able to show I wasn't running game on her, and that my Simone and I were nothing.
She smoothed down her dress as she stood up after me, "yeah" she said softly.
I allowed myself the pleasure to take in her beauty before we parted ways. I offered a half smile. I felt like Id shown her my very core. Her eyes twinkled as she mustered a smile, as if she was replying to my own. The heat that always came when we were together returned, just like that.