a/n: twirls hair... hi you guys... i'm very proud of this chapter bc i think i went more in depth with ayato's character which i've been trying to do !! so let me know if you guys liked that :) also thank u guys for such sweet comments despite the fact that the wait in between chapters is oh so very long. they keep me motivated :,) also you guys are gonna see kazuha soon!! please don't lose hope <3
qotc: last movie watched?
(mine was bottoms teehee)
sotc: sun bleached flies by ethel cain
☆ ☆ ☆
haruki hates this. actually scratch that, he fucking despises this. he can't even begin to think about how one, his mother practically screwed him over and two, apparently everybody in this goddamned town thought he just up and murdered his best friend. (granted, it's been like that for months but one can't just simply shrug off the idea that the majority of the town thought he was capable of murder and even if he was, that he would go through with it.)
haruki groans as his hand absentmindedly brushes up against a forming bruise on his upper bicep. the police had held him so tightly that he was pretty sure nearly every one of his limbs had a forming bruise on it. haru rests his head on the wall of the holding cell, bored out of his mind. there was nothing he could do except stare at the other people in the same holding cell as him. they all looked older than him– they were all no younger than twenty three which made him feel like a child and also embarrassed by the fact that they all probably thought he was going to jail super young.
haru wants to speak up about how it's not his fault and he actually didn't do it, everybody just seems intent on pointing fingers at whoever so they could just shut the case close and make kazuha's family slightly less upset. he knows that nobody here actually cares, though.
he doesn't know how long it's been since he was practically shoved into this cell. it feels like an eternity but he knows it's really not. maybe a few hours? four? five? six? it's not as if the people in the same holding cell as him were so eager to hold a fun and silly conversation with him while he awaited his doomed fate.
a tapping against the bars catches his attention, behind it was a police officer on the other side of the bars, he was younger than majority of all the other police officers and had delicate skin. he speaks roughly of his name, however, "haruki fujiwara?"
he peeks up at the sound of his name, his eyes looking into the dead eyes of the officers before he responds, "that's me."
the officer nods as unlocks the holding cell, "make your phone call."
haruki nearly jumps with joy at the sound of the officers' rough and deep voice but wills himself to stay calm. the officer takes him to the phone and gestures for him to call someone. haruki holds the phone nervously as he dials one of the few phone numbers he knows by heart– his home phone. as his fingers press up against the numbered buttons, he prays and hopes that yae didn't just randomly decide to leave the house and that ajax suddenly hated being in his house for whatever reason.
the phone rings. and rings. and rings.
haruki is tense at the silence until finally someone picks up. a sigh is heard before he hears a voice and he already knows who it is. ei.
"hello." ei says– it's not a question, it's a statement. she already knows who's calling.
"it's me, haruki." he says shakily and he can almost hear her pursed lips as she hums shortly. he can practically see her nodding and checking her nails as she thinks.
"i know." she says, "do you not think i wouldn't recognize my own son? my own flesh and blood?"
haruki wants to say yes– she was the one who gave him up to the police anyway. she doesn't care about flesh and blood, especially not after this.
"no, i don't know why you wouldn't–" haruki stammers as he tries not to upset her. he doesn't know why he's so hellbent on wanting his mother to love him after all of this, "sorry, mom."
he whispers the last part but he knows she heard him. she always does.
"haruki, you know that i'm always on your side." she speaks softly and gently– haruki's only ever heard this tone of voice when he was a child and he had injured himself, "i'm your mom, don't forget that, okay?"
"okay." his voice falters as he speaks, his eyes slowly welling up and he has to repeat to himself to not cry like it's a prayer.
"and i'm sorry." she apologizes– her voice is sincere, "i– they convinced me. showed me evidence, it was fake. i don't– i know this apology is not enough to mend the wounds i have given you but i hope it is a beginning."
haruki is silent as he hears her words and he does not know if she is awaiting a response but she continues, "i do not know if i will be able to get you out soon, haruki. it's– it's quite a bit of money."
haruki laughs dryly, "well i'm not cheap, you know that."
ei huffs, "certainly not." she purses her lips before continuing, "yae and i are trying to collect enough money– ajax too. but i don't know, and not a lot of people want to fund a potential murderer's bail so, it's proving to be a difficult task."
"i don't know many people you could ask." haruki mumbles, cutting out the part where he mentions he doesn't have many friends to begin with.
"it's okay," ei sighs, he can practically hear her running a hand through her purple strands, "we just need to get you out before the funeral."
"funeral?" haruki asks, his breath sharp as he asks. a funeral shouldn't even be in the process of planning– it was barely four, or maybe it was five months since kazuha had gone missing. there's no way that people are ready to give up so quickly and easily.
"it's almost been six months, haruki." she says softly, "after six months, they're going to officially close the case. of course, unless they get more evidence but with the way it's looking now, that's not going to happen."
"... right." haruki realizes. of course. they were always going to have to close it at one point, whether they found kazuha or not.
"we'll figure something out, haru." ei breathes out, "i assure you."
haru's mind runs a thousand miles an hour, thinking of a solution– maybe not to their whole situation but just a quick one for now.
"ayato." haruki gasps out, "call ayato."
ayato isn't sure why he even comes to school anymore. i mean, he's a senior, he's nearly done with school– it's almost may. he knows why he comes though. it's because of his friends, obviously. and ajax. duh.
ayato sits at the small lunch table with heizou and ajax, all the way in the back of the cafeteria. it was quite a change to ayato– from sitting in the front of the cafeteria where everyone's attention was on him to sitting in the dark corners with nobody even batting an eye at him. it may have sounded strange but, ayato enjoyed the lack of attention.
ayato taps his nails against the table absentmindedly as heizou rambles on and on to ajax about some book that he read recently. his eyes glanced over the cafeteria, many people were chatting with each other but their attention seemed focused on one table. it was ayaka's table, of course. the table and the people she sat with always caught everyone's eyes. he wasn't sure whether that was because of drama happening or just simply because of who they were.
a loud shout from across the cafeteria shakes him out of his thoughts. it's one that he recognizes very, very well. he can't possibly erase it— it's the same one from that bloody and red-filled day. one that was filled with officers and paramedics asking if he was okay as he wiped blood off of his face and still kept the dried, gory mess that covered his hands and arms. it was the only thing he could keep of his parents, after all.
"stop!" a loud scream came from ayaka, her voice was shaking. it shook as if she were near to tears but still willing herself to stay strong. not for anyone, just for herself. "it's not true, you're lying. i know that."
the cafeteria was deadly silent, it didn't even sound like anybody breathed for a single second. that is before a huff came from the other girl— dark black hair with bangs and she was just messy. ayato didn't know her, he had never seen her and if he did then he just didn't care for her.
a huff comes from the girl, she tosses her long hair behind her as she speaks, "you're just afraid because when the funeral comes then you'll know it's true. it's okay ayaka, you can admit it."
ayaka pauses, "... what are you even talking about?"
the girl sighs as she glances at her acrylic nails before looking back up at ayaka, "that kazuha left you, like your parents did. like everyone has done to you."
ayaka's eye twitches as ayato pauses in his seat. her hands are balled up as she stands across the table from her, her nails digging into her palm creating red crescents. the girl across from her cocks her head to the side, a mocking expression on her face as she watches ayaka debate in her head what to do. this was hell for ayaka.
"that's not true." ayaka murmurs, "you know it's not."
"really?" she lifts a brow, "where's kazuha? where are your parents?"
"i still have people." ayaka says, "i have my friends, my brother–"
"oh, ayato?" she turns her gaze to him. ayato can't speak, he cannot even think of anything to mutter to comfort his sister.
"he's going to college, isn't he?" the girl stares at ayaka and ayaka can feel something building. it's a disgusting feeling– it's a combination of rage and grief, she wants to throw up at the feeling of her emotions choking her.
"i don't know!" ayaka shouts, "you fucking bitch! god, this is why nobody likes you! you're an irritating cunt!"
ayaka is breaking. ayato knows this, he can't risk her saying anything about their life, what happened, anything. ayato stands as he makes his way to ayaka, it may not be ideal to take her away at this very moment but it is necessary. ayato goes to gently put his hand on ayaka's shoulder before the girl standing across her scoffs.
"god, of course your brother needs to save you from something that you created. like always."
"enough." ayato says gently, "i don't wish to argue with you. just leave my sister alone."
ayato does not wait for her to reply as he walks out the cafeteria with ayaka, a soft gentle hand on her shoulder.
it's quiet between the two as they roam the halls and ayato finds an empty classroom to speak to her properly in.
"i'm sorry," ayaka murmurs as ayato pushes open the door to the empty art classroom. ayato closes the door behind her as she sits down at a table covered with dried paint.
"i'm not mad at you, ayaka." ayato whispers as he sits across from her, "it's been hard for both of us so i don't fault you for–"
"sometimes i wish you would." ayaka murmurs as she scratches at the dry paint. "i wish you would get upset sometimes because then i know that you feel something, anything about what's happening. well, what's happened, too. but you don't. you still smile at me even though i've been the worst recently."
"you want me to be mad?" ayato asks as his brows furrow.
"i want you to speak to me." ayaka admits, "you never talk about what happened to us. i don't know how you feel anymore. the only reason i know you're sad about them dying is because i heard you crying late at night."
"i don't speak to you about it because that would mean i would have to relive it, and you too." ayato speaks gently, "i don't want it to be too hard on you."
"it's not hard for me, ayato." ayaka can't help but look at him with sorrow, "you're the one who was covered in blood that day. you were the one who shielded me from mom and dad. i don't have the memories of their gory faces– i have happy ones where they're smiling and laughing. you don't."
ayato nods. he doesn't know what to say. it's true– his last memory of the two was the glass shards covering their faces as ayato tried to stop his father's bleeding. but it wasn't enough, it never is.
"it's hard to talk about," ayato says after a minute of silence, "i don't want to give you the awful details that will probably scar me for this life and the next. i can try and talk about it. i'm not used to it, though."
ayaka grins as she begins to stand up, "great, i'm glad. now, i have to get back–"
ayato stops her, "you know i didn't bring you here to talk about mom and dad. sit down."
ayaka groans but still complies.
"what was she talking about?" ayato asks and ayaka taps her nails on the wood table nervously.
"that kazuha didn't really get kidnapped. that he got annoyed with me and just left, like everyone does." she mumbles as she looks up at her brother.
"kazuha likes you. believe me, you could practically see him bouncing off the walls when you two spoke. and everybody doesn't leave you, ayaka. that just isn't true."
"what about mom and dad?" she asks, "and you?"
"mom and dad didn't choose to leave you. they would choose to be with you for a million more years if they could choose." ayato smiles softly, "and what about me?"
"college?" ayaka asks and ayato furrows his brows once more.
"when did i ever mention college to you?"
"well, i just assumed that you know, it's what all your good grades were for." ayaka whines as ayato chuckles.
"i'm not going anywhere," ayato whispers as he puts his hand over hers.
"you promise?" ayaka asks.
"i promise."