Ugadi Shubhakankshalu!!!! (In advance of course)
Happy reading people!
In Manjari's Room:
Abhimanyu spoke in context to Neil's reaction that made Manjari think deeper. She understood what both her sons were hinting at. They weren't wrong but that wasn't the point here.
"Abhi! Main jaanti hoon ki baat kuch aur bhi hain. Jo tu ne Neil se bhi nahi kahi. Hain na? Usne jo bola aise hi bol diya. Woh main samajh gayi per tu ne jo bola, woh aise hi nahi bola.
Agar Neil ki baaton mein tujhe sachayi nahi dikhti toh tu use aise nahi jaane deta. Neil khud chauk gaya tere reaction se. Woh usi confusion mein nikal gaya yahan se. Pata hain na tujhe?" She confronted and Abhimanyu nodded.
"Roohi ke baatein sunke maine faisla karliya tha. Mere reasons kafi emotional hain. Isliye maine Neil pe chod diya faisla. Mujhe apne jazbaaton pe filhaal bharosa nahi hain. Akshara bhi involved hain toh main risk nahi lena chahta tha.
Lekin Neil aisa nahi hain. Woh practical hain. Akshara ke bare mein aapke jaisa hi sochta hain. Had se zyada protective hain. Maine socha....agar use bhi laga ki Roohi ko participate karne dena chahiye, phir dekhenge.
Mahadev ki bhi marzi thi shayad. Akhir aisa hi hua. Woh sab soch samajh ke, meri therapist se tak baat karke, isi nateeje pe pahuncha. Uske baad hi maine apne decision ko jayaz maana. Roohi ki khushi ka sawaal hain na...."
He explained and Manjari gave a curt nod.
"Neil sach mein kuch aisa nahi karne dega jo tujhe, Abhir ya Roohi ko koi khatra ho. Per uski faisle se main abhi bhi khush nahi hoon.......Khair! Chodo. Apni baat batao. Tere aise kya reasons the? Iss sab se tu chahta kya hain Abhi?" She asked.
"Main nahi chahta ki Roohi, ab se, Akshara se related koi bhi baat, feeling, pain mujhse chupayein. Maine pehle hi Akshara ki baaton se, yaadon se, harqaton se use door rakh kar galti kardi. Jisse use yeh lagne laga ki Akshara ka topic off limits hain uskeliye.
Isliye usne mujhse kabhi apni insecurities, dar, dukh kuch bhi share nahi kiya. Itna acha gati hain per Akshara ki singer hone ki wajah se main hurt na hojaun......us chakkar mein usne mujhse baat karne ka bhi nahi socha Maa.
Roohi ne jo bhaagke audition diya...woh sab kyun hua? Akshara ki interview wali baat humein seedhe se kyun nahi batayi? Jo Roohi aur Akshara ke beech mein hua, woh mujhe batane bhi nahi wali thi Maa. Aapne socha aisa kyun hua?"
Manjari shook her head. She genuinely didn't. Abhimanyu sighed and spoke,
"Mujhe thoda idea tha per aaj Roohi ki baaton se mujhe clearly samajh aaya ki Roohi ne aisi harqat kyun ki........... jo usne poore 16 saal mein nahi ki.
Jaise hi use pata chala ki Akshara ne interview mein Abhir ke bare mein baat ki...... use mujhe sab aake batana chahiye tha...... jaise har baar karti hain jab koi problem mein phasti hai. Per usne aisa nahi kiya.
Aap hi batayiye........Agar baat Akshara ki nahi kisi aur ki hoti toh bhi kya Roohi mujhse chupati?Woh hi sab karti jo usne kiya?" Abhimanyu questioned Manjari.
"Shayad chupa leti. Aur yahi sab karti. Woh badi ho rahi hain. Thodi ziddi ho rahi hain. Use apne man ki karni thi. Usne kiya. Tu Akshara ko in sab mein jod ke bekar mein sab kuch uljha raha hain.
Aur tu yakeen ke saath kaise keh sakta hain ki woh aisa sirf Akshara ki wajah se kar rahi hain? Usne kaha tujhse? Tu apne man se kuch bhi mat bol." Manjari put up a defence.
"Main itna toh jaanta hoon apni Bachi ko. Trust me Maa. Nahi karti woh. Nahi chupati...... Woh ladti mujhse, manati, roti, zid pe ad jaati jaise hamesha se karti aayi hain......per yun chupke nahi bhaagti. Na maine use yeh sab sikhaya hain naahi usne pehle aisa kuch kiya hain.
Akshara involved nahi hoti toh kabhi aisa nahi karti. Itne log hai hum. Hum mein se kisi ek ko pakka batati. Per kyunki baat Akshara ki thi, usne Neil ko tak nahi bataya. I am sure.
Akshara ki baat koi discuss nahi karna chahta.....isliye usne khud se assume karliya ki agar kisise poochegi bhi toh woh mana hi kardenge. Use yeh chance miss nahi karna tha kisi bhi haalat mein.
Kisi ek ko bhi batake, chance miss karne ka risk nahi uthana chahti thi. Maa! Use ache se pata tha ki jo woh kar rahi hain woh galat hain. Hum mein se koi uska saath nahi dega. Main approve nahi karunga.
Lekin uske emotions uspe itne haavy hogaye ki woh seedha soch hi nahi payi. Ek minute ruk ke sochti toh shayad nahi karti per us waqt use apni Maa se milne ka mauka itna tempting laga tha ki ...........woh saari samajhdaari peeche chodke chali gayi.
Iss chakkar mein use kuch ho jata toh?" Abhimanyu's voice choked and hiseyes glistened up. Manjari shook her head to discourage him from thinking on those lines.
"Mere Bache mujhse har important baat share karte hain Maa. Per itni importamt baat meri Bachi ne mujhse nahi share kiya.......... Mere itne samjhane ke bawajood bhi Roohi ke dimag mein baatein chupake rakhne ka khayal dubara aaya.
Hum sab itne gusse mein the. Phir bhi bahut waqt tak usne saari baat nahi batayi......Use laga tha Akshara wali baat mujhe uski laparwahi se zyada takleef degi. Usne apni safety ko leke itna bad risk uthaya....use is baat se zyada guilt is baat ka tha...ki usne Akshara se milna chaha.
Akshara nahi hain itni important mere life mein. Mere Bachon se badhke toh kabhi nahi. Agar Akshara ke hone ke dar se maine usko peeche kheench liya, toh uski galat fehmi aur pakki hojayegi. Main aisa nahi hone de sakta.
Shukar hain ki iss baar woh sahi salamat aagayi. Hamari achi kismat hain ki is baar humein pata laga aur Roohi ne bhi sab batadiya. Per har baar aisa nahi hoga na. Kismat hamesha saath nahi degi. Agar uski soch yahi rahi, aisa lapse toh phir se ho sakta hain na Maa?
Roohi badi ho rahi hain. Usko freedom bhi ab pehle se zyada milegi. Hamesha toh uspe nazar rakhke nahi baith sakte na? That is not possible.
Isliye humein uske dil se yeh misconception ko jad se nikal ke phenka padega. Taaki use dubara aise karne ki zarurat hi na mehsoos ho.
"Kya bolna chahta hain tu? Seedhe seedha bol Abhi." Manjari commanded. She didn't want to get convinced but her son's explanation was starting to move her resolve slowly and steadily.
"Use convince karna chahta hoon ki Akshara ki baatein off limits nahi hain. Woh apne dil ki baatein, problems share kar sakti hain humse.....chahe usmein Akshara ka zikr ho. "
"Kaise problems Abhi? Tu Roohi ko Akshara se baar baar kyun jod raha hain? Akshara ko Roohi kuch khaas pasand nahi karti. Uske baare mein baat nahi karna chahti.
Roohi se Akshara ko takleef hain. Usne pehle bhi Roohi ke saath zyakthi ki jab woh chod ke chali gayi. Mauka milte hi usne dubara use hurt kiya. Itna hi rishta hain undonon ka. Bas." Manjari declared out of agitation.
"Mujhe bhi yahi laga tha Maa. Per main apni dukh mein itna ulajh gaya ki theek se dekh nahi paya ki Roohi ke dil mein Akshara se related bahut kuch hain jo humein nahi pata hain. Aisa bahut kuch .......... jiska ehsaas mujhe bhi abhi abhi hua hain." Abhimanyu replied.
"Aisa kuch hota toh hum nazar andaaz nahi karte Abhi. Koi andha nahi hain yahan. Tu had se zyada Beti ki pyaar mein sensitive ho raha hain.
Waise bhi Akshara ki baat aate hi tu ajeeb sa sochne lagta hain. Kaise maan loon teri baat ki hamari Bachi ko itni takleef thi, itne samay se...... aur hum mein se kisiko nahi pata chala? Aisa nahi ho sakta." Manjari declared.
Manjari was in denial. Abhimanyu hugged his mother tight to calm her down. He could see that she was avoiding, getting convinced. She was getting defensive. It hadn't been easy for him to accept that fact and knew it would harder for his mother.
Manjari has catered to Roohi like a mother right from the childhood and she has the grudge against Akshara for ruining her kid's lives. Abhimanyu was heartbroken and Neil lost trust in the concept of love and system of marriage because of her betrayal.
Roohi had to come to terms with a lot of things, very early in her life. Abhimanyu handled everything sensitively and made sure Roohi understood her situation. He gave her so much love and attention that she never regretted not having a mother because Manjari was always there.
Only after Abhir came and she grew up a little more, Roohi might have started having those feeling which she didn't share. Manjari was having a tough time dealing with that realization. She just wants to prove that premise wrong.
But Abhimanyu didn't back off. He comforted her, pulled back, looked straight into her eyes and spoke,
"Bilkul ho sakta hain Maa. Unfortunately, aisa hi hua hain. Meri Bachi ne sab apne ander dabake rakha aur itne time se.....apne aap hi un sab se deal karti rahi. Mujhe bhanak bhi nahi lagne di. Kisiko kuch pata nahi chalne diya.
Yeh sach hain. Aur yeh sach bahut darawani hain. Yeh aadat bahut zyada kharab hain Maa. Mujhe nahi pata main aapko kaise samajhaun ki yeh kitni problematic hain.
Akshara ki toxicity, iss show ke wajah se aane wale challenges, Sach pata lagne ke baad ka dukh, tootke bhikarne ka dar....in sab se kafi zyada dardanak aur khatarnaak hain.
Main guzara hoon is cheez se. Main jaanta hoon kitna khokla kardeti hain yeh ander se.Iss aadat ko mujhse behtar koi nahi jaan sakta. Koi nahi. Main use doosra Abhimanyu nahi banne de sakta. Kisi bhi haalat mein nahi."
Manjari was speechless. Abhimanyu looked so determined yet so vulnerable while equating himself with Roohi and claiming he doesn't want his kid to suffer like him. The pain was real and raw. She couldn't ignore it and Abhimanyu's words weren't making it any easy.
"Jaise maine kiya, use apni feelings se bhagne nahi de sakta main. No......Use un feelings ko face karna hoga. Acha, bura jo hoga dekha jayega. Per use woh sab mehsoos karna hoga. Hum se apni dil ki baat batani hogi.
Agar Akshara ke aas paas rehne se woh trigger hoti hain, use hurt hota hain, gussa aata hain, toh use woh sab express karna hoga Maa. Sab kuch. Bahut chupaliya usne. Ab aur nahi.
Use dukh hoga.... agreed. Uskeliye mushkil hoga per hum saath honge na uske. Use akela nahi chodenge. Roohi ka dil toot sakta hain Akshara ki rejection se....per chalega mujhe. Agar isse woh apni dil ki baat share karne lagegi, toh mujhe sab manzoor hain.
Hum sab milke manage karlenge. Roohi ke man se yeh dukh bhi nikal jayega ki use mauka nahi mila apni Maa ko jaan ne ka. Phir uske paas koi reason nahi bachega Akshara se related baatein chupane ka."
Abhimanyu explained his reasoning and Manjari understood from where Abhimanyu was operating, and she couldn't disagree anymore. She has been through hell seeing her Abhi suffering in silence and putting on a fake smile for the world and her alike.
She wouldn't want that for her son ever. The helplessness isn't something any parent should experience. If this heart break can set up Roohi for a healthier future without baggage, she was up for it. Abhimanyu could see that acceptance in her eyes.
"Baki saare practical reasons Neil ne dekhliye aur usne bhi haami bhardi. Sirf tabhi yeh decide hua hain. Aap ko toh pata hain ki Akshara ke maamle mein hamare dimag kitne alag se chalte hain. Uske bawajood hum donon ko ek hi cheez sahi lagi Maa." Abhimanyu said.
Manjari nodded. Her boys didn't take a frivolous decision. They thought of everything and knew exactly what they were getting themselves into. If two distinct perspectives arrived at the same conclusion, it must have some merit. After hearing the reasons, she had to agree too.
She couldn't have been prouder of how sensitive her children are towards the kids' emotions unlike her. Neil was right to call her out. Though it stung and Neil didn't mean to, it was the fact. She understood that being overprotective also comes with its demerits.
Forcing their will on kids by hook or crook, for their benefit may not always be the only choice. Or the right choice. She took a deep breath and nodded in agreement much to Abhimanyu's delight. He hugged her by impulse and relaxed in her arms. That was his solace and his source of serotonin.
To Be Continued.........