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Every day I change myself for the better for you
You wanted to change me
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Note* Zhan talking about Yibo
The cold December night has passed for a very long time
It was a very boring night
Without life or spirit there are only bodies
They collapse and some of them move, holding the hands of their loved ones
The other looks coldly at them
His heart is colder than December itself
He looks at the river below, long black hair reaching the middle of his neck
Beautifully arranged
Very formal clothes with a long thick coat
He holds a bouquet of roses with a ring in his hand
He waits there aimlessly
He knows he won't come
Zhan knows that he has lost him forever and his love
It will become eternal and useless
All this because of his selfishness and stupidity
He didn't see his attempts to change him, he didn't see Yibo's love for him
He didn't see how he was hurting from being hurt
From his words and his actions
How could he put up with all that for years when he didn't care
And now the karma comes back to him
She tells him that he is a loser, stupid, and foolish, and that his selfishness made him
A real gem is lost among fake pieces
It is one of those fake pieces in his life
'Where are you? I'm trying to find you, you who cannot be seen.'
He said while shedding tears and imagining it
'Hey zhan gege it's New Year's Eve why don't we go out
and celebrate together like any married couple'
His beautiful little husband Yibo said as he looked at him with his brown eyes lovingly
'Go alone, I don't care, I have more important work than you.'
Zhan said in an ice cold tone
He looked at him dryly
'Oh, it's okay, Zhan Ge, I don't want to go out anymore.'
The view of love for pain has changed
He left him and went to his room to return to work without any care
He shed a tear as he remembered his pained look
How foolish he was
Why didn't he hold him by the waist and hug him lovingly?
He tells him that he knows that he is his love
He deserves everything good, he deserves the love of the whole world
It makes him feel like a miracle sent to him by God
But it hurt him so badly that he shed another tear
'While I'm trying to hear your voice, you who no one can hear'
He whispered as he tightened his grip on that bundle of roses
'gege, do you know what happened today at university? The professor praised me and told me that I was...
I will get a full mark and when I graduate I will be
Your assistant and help you with your work
He said in his angelic voice while smiling at the person who was watching the TV and listening to him boredly
'Um'
He said without caring to continue
'I also came across a little puppy who was very cute
I wanted to caress his hair more.
He was interrupted by his painful words
'Can't you just shut up for a second? Don't you see that you're so annoying, Yibo?'
He left the remote control and went to the room, slamming the door hard and shedding a hot tear since that day
He doesn't talk to him much anymore
The world looked at that man standing there as if he was crazy
He was smacking his mouth while shedding tears
'I'm sorry, sorry, please, I still miss your words, Yibo
I'm a stupid fool. I was lying. I want to hear
Your voice comes back to me more and more'
He said in a tired voice while smacking his mouth violently
What is the benefit of regret after a loss?
He was able to see things he had never seen before
He knew how disgusting and despicable it was
How selfish an animal
He was able to hear words he had never heard before
'You are a selfish fool. You will lose him because of your coldness.'
'You deserve it you didn't keep him'
'He didn't want to leave you. He loved you. He was the only one who stood by your side while everyone was against you
He endured your poverty and anger until you stood on your feet and made you rich, but what did you do?
you made him hate life '
He could hear all this when he left it
He knew how cold and despicable he was, and he wished to turn back time
But how and when
he does not know
When he left him, all his strength disappeared, his dream disappeared
His beautiful world, his warm, tidy home
The family table no longer exists
When he left him, he gained strength that he had never had before
He wished he had not acquired it
His selfish self, who only thought of himself
He was a hard-hearted soul who did not even know about the feelings of his little Yibo
He can't believe how much he has changed
Yibo's love and adoration for him still moves him as he moved
His heart started beating like crazy
He didn't know he was attached to it, he became obsessed with it
Without even knowing it
When he thinks about him it is the whole world to him
He looked at the snowy sky
'Every snow that falls is a tear from the sky for you
But I can't do this simple thing. I can't bring you back to me. I wish I could
I didn't have that miserable strength.
He said as his eyes filled with more tears and he knelt down
'I made music and brought two rings for us
I brought you a dog that you like, and I brought you the care products that you love, and I brought flowers that you love
I brought everything that made you smile
But where are you, smiley one?
'If I had time, I would go back to the past
And I opened the book of memories to open your page.. and here I am there.. there with you.
He said while holding his picture in his hands to continue
'I am the small, weak person because your love changed the whole world
Your love changed my entire being
I was the one who didn't know how to be thankful for your love
I was the one who thought it was okay if it was over
I am sending this to you, you who wished to change me
I changed every day
I believe my love will continue to be eternal'
He said while scanning his image with his finger
'If I had another chance, if you would give me another chance, I promise I would treat you with love
I will make you feel like a miracle
I will do anything to see your smile and your laugh
Look at you, even if I'm going to kill myself, it's okay for me
I desire you, who could not desire me comfortably
I would like to embrace you, who I could not embrace
I want to protect you even from myself '
'What happened that winter I can't forget'
He said while remembering
On that particularly cold day
December 2022
He came home after hard work and knocked on the door twice
He was not surprised
Where is that bright smile?
Who was always waiting for him on New Year's Eve
He took out an overture and entered the house, only to be hit by a strong cold wave
The house is dark and a cake is on the table with a video recorder
He felt his feet shaking
He ran into the huge house screaming
'Yibo yibo dear, where are you? yibo, lm back from work
To celebrate with you where you are you Yibo'
He said and received nothing but silence
He arrived at the table and found a signed divorce paper along with a videotape
The angel in front of him had wheat skin
Brown eyes and beautiful brown hair
Palm smiles as he looks at the camera
'Hello Zhan Ge, I wish you a happy New Year's Eve. Without me, you won't need to feel disturbed.'
From my words or my presence around you, I will no longer be in your life
I won't come back....you won't care, I know
And you may not even finish the video because you will think that I talk too much. I just wanted to tell you that I love you
I didn't know you were forced to marry me
If I knew, I would have kept my love for you a secret and looked at you from afar without making you hate me, but that's okay
I will leave your life forever, I love you, goodbye '
End of video
He did not feel the tears falling unconsciously
Shouldn't he be happy that he got saved?
from him
Shouldn't he attend a party because he got rid of annoying people?
So when his heart is trembling, why does he cry?
He knows the answer to this question, it happened to him
Not accustomed to it
He fell in love with him, made him love him, and ran away
But he did not blame him for running away from him
Palm smile
'Sorry, come back to me, I'm sorry'
He said while hugging the video and crying like a little baby
He lost his piece of candy
He got up from the ground after that memory faded
It's been a whole year without him
Feeling empty, he surrounded himself with a cold shell
He did not fall in love with anyone or touch anyone
After he left him
He blamed himself every night, hated and tortured himself
His nights became full of terrifying nightmares
He dreams of him leaving him while running after him
He looked at the sky
'I want to turn back time and come back to tell you
I love you yibo '
Ran wishes a miracle would happen
This December
Maybe it will come back to him
He knows that this miracle is impossible, but he hopes
He waited and waited. It was a quarter past twelve
He did not come, he lost hope
His tears that had dried became moist because of new tears
He was disappointed and blamed himself again
'I love you, Yibo, and damn it, I breathe you, you are my world and my Hart
You are my obsession, you are my wine that you were
You are jealous of him because of my love for him. You are my miracle
You are my December miracle, come back to me, please.'
He turned around after losing hope
And his look at the ground
When he took another step, he saw a man's black shoes
His hand trembled, he did not want to raise his hopes
But he wished his hopes would come true
'Go away, I'm married'
He said while trying to walk away, well he didn't lie
He did not sign the divorce papers, but he burned them
'Hmm, I'm your husband'
Said that angelic voice that made his eyes shine
Red from crying, he rises and looks at him
He was smiling at him lovingly
like before
The sparkle in his eyes never went away
He looked at him with longing and love
'I ... I can't imagine, is it true? You are Yibo, my love, Yibo, is it true?!'
He asked in disbelief as he raised his hand to his cheek
Trying to make sure it wasn't his imagination
As in the old nights
Zhan placed his hand on Yibo's cold cheek to comfort Yibo's cheek
He rests on his warm palm
'Yes, I am Yibo, Zhan'
Yibo said while looking at him with tearful eyes
Xiao Zhan didn't know what he should do now
Does he hug him, kiss him, or apologize?
Whether he wears a ring, he does not know
Yibo knew his confusion and came forward and hugged him
'I love you too, Xiao Zhan, don't hurt me.'
He said weakly and Zhan cupped his hands on Yibo's waist, pulling him closer to him
'No, I have changed. I have become what you want. I will not hurt you
I'd rather die than that
Yibo, you are all I have, you are my love and my being
You are my world and my heaven. I love you. No word of love or adoration is too small for you
I wander about you, your eyes, your smile, and your lips
With your waist, I am possessive of you
You're mine don't leave me '
He said weakly while hugging Yibo like a little child
' I will not leave you '
He patted his back tenderly
It is true that he left him and was tormented by his love, but he decided to move on
But after hearing his obsession with him
How his pictures are on the walls of the house and how he searched for him in all regions of France and Germany
How could he please his family to tell him where he was?
And how every morning, afternoon and night he goes to his university
And near the river where they met for the first time
That's where he fell in love
there
He couldn't bear it and went back to feeling his heart beating strongly
After hearing his apology and obsession
Smile tenderly, because love is about giving and being given
He was a rejecter of love
He thinks he forced his family to make him marry him
But after realizing his mistake, he regretted it
After learning about his idea, he felt remorse because he did not tell him that he was also forced, but after finding out
He is the one Farah will marry
Love is painful and needs to be fought for whether you win or lose
It is a game
'You are my December miracle'
He said while looking into his eyes with love
Zhan approached Yibo, closed his eyes, put his lips close to Yibo's lips, and started kissing him
Tasting the nectar on his lips felt addictive
Yes, he became addicted to it when he felt his need for air
He broke the kiss and knelt down
Take the two rings out of the box
'I was selfish and foolish, I did not see your love, I did not see your attempts for me, but now
This selfish and foolish person changes himself every day just for you
This cold will become warm for you
He will protect you and cherish you. Just come back to me and I will make you
You feel like a king
He said while holding his hand and kissing the back of that hand
Yibo nodded tearfully as Zhan grabbed his thigh, stroking it gently
' I am happy '
He said while looking at the ring on his finger
'Remember this Xiao Zhan loves you Yibo
You deserve the love of the whole world and I will give it to you '
He placed his forehead on his
To smile lovingly
The cold December nights turned warm
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Hey, I turned it from a story into a oneshots book