"You mean you dont know?"
Is there something I missed..?
I wait for us to be alone together and then reopen the conversation with Nurse Lisa.
"Mr Win's wife passed away 20 years ago..."
"So that woman with him was....?"
"He's the woman he fell in love with after his wife's death."
So that's who she is.
"Once he found out that he was sick, his wish was to spend his final days with her but his family wouldnt allow it. They must've been worried about their inheritance, should he choose to remarry."
"How awful..,"I said in surprise.
"The daughter and son wanted to lock him up in the hospital and they even told us not to let anyone in his room who's not a family. It was like they were holding him captive."
That's terrible...
"So Dr Alan knew this...?"
Nurse Lisa nodded. "Yes, he respected Mr Win's wished and to make them come true. He released Mr Win against the family's objections. I heard that the Director at first resisted saying that we cant let such an important patient slip thru our fingers like that. But then, remember? It was when Pit Babe showed up here..."
So that's how it was.......
How could I have missed so much?
I didnt understand the feelings of Mr Win or those of Dr Alan.
Back in the office......
"Dr Alan..."
"What is it?"
"Mr Win was........"
"That again, "he sounded easperated.
"No...Nurse Lisa told me everything."
"...."
"I was wrong. I am sorry. I didnt know and said horrible things..."
"It doesnt matter."
"It does!" I said in mild anger. "Because you didnt explain the situation to me, I misunderstood your actions."
"I dont care what others think..."
"But I'm your colleague. You should tell me these things. We need to communicate a little more..."
"Between preventing misunderstandings and helping patients, its obvious which is more important."
I stared at him.
"You said it yourself.. You regretted that you couldnt save Ms Vill Wanarot..."
"Yeah."
"Even if you cant save a life, there's always something else that you can save...."
Something else I can save.....
"Understanding that is also our job."
""
"I wont be distracted by nonsence."
To Alan, commmunication between doctors is nonsence.
I understand the importance of what he's saying about patients but why does he isolate himself like that....
I'm about to make my rounds, when the person who passed in front of me is no other that Ms Vill Waranot's son.
I dont really want to talk to him but.....I see his swollen eyes with tears and my heart aches.
"Mr Art,"I call out.
"Oh, Doctor..Hi."
Thank goodness...he's calmer than I expected.
I wasnt sure what would become of him after losing his mother but.....
"What brings you here today?'
"We asked him to come to take care of some paperwork,"Nurse North answered, appearing beside the boy.
"My dad couldnt come because of work so I've come instead.."
"I see.."
Poor boy. Taking care of the paperwork for his mom's death has to be painful."
"Um...thank you for taking care of my mom."
"Not at all..."
I couldnt do anything for her, in the end.
"You're strong. But dont push yourself. Back when I..."
Without thinking, I almost talk about my own mother and then freeze.
"What's wrong?"
"Um, its nothing.. Please come talk to me if you find yourself feeling upset or are having any problems. You dont have to deal with this by yourself."
He forced himself to smile."Thank you but I'm fine. After talking to Dr Alan, I decided that I wont cry anymore."
"Hmm?" I was surprised at the mention of Alan's name
"After it happened, Dr Lu came over to me..."
After it happened...in other words, when I was crying....
"I said, why didnt you tell me that my mother was going to die so soon? And then Dr Alan told me that when my mom was brought to the hospital, she said that she wanted me to see her smiling. He said it must have been hard for her to keep it a secret that she was dying but she never let that show in front of me, she always looked happy, She fought to the end, for me."
Alan did that............
"So I've decided, I would show my mom my own smile as she watches over me from where she is now. Crying over her forever would only make her sad."
He gave me a bright smile though his eyes was still swollen.
What a strong boy...I though he was the same as I was 12 years ago.
But he's completely different.
I could have never been this strong...
I take a walk in the courtyard and recall Alan's words.
'Even if you cant save a life, there's always something else that you can save.'
He saved Mr Win and Ms Vill emotionally....
Not just as a doctor.
He's always thinking about what he can do for patients as a person.
Maybe Alan isnt the person I thought he was....
Still he's the son of this man... Standing in front of the bust, I stare at its face.
This man killed my mother and he covered it up.
He will not be pardoned.
I cant sympathize with the son of my enemy.
Not if I'm here to get the revenge I came for...
My mobile rang.
A call...its Way.
"Yes, this is Jeff."
"This is Way. Where are you?"
"I am the hospital..."
"Good. Please come to the Director's office immediately. He would like to see you."
"Okay, I'll be right over."
What could this be about?"
I wonder if he's still angry when I rejected the offer to help Alan in the operation.
*click*
"Hello..."
"Ah Dr Jeff. I'm sorry for calling in, I know you must be busy."
"Its no trouble."
Huh, he seemed to be in a good mood...?
"I heard from Alan that you've agreed to perform Representative Mr Bank Thanatip's operation."
"Oh yes, I did.."
He laughed. "That's good. I'm relieved to hear it."
"I'm sorry for refusing it the other day, I should have recognized it as an opportunity."
"Oh, that's all right. As Way pointed out, its a lot of pressure, performing an operation alone with a prominent surgeon like Alan.If the prospect didnt make you nervous, now that would have been strange."
I smile in agreement.
"In fact, its proven too much for number of doctors over the years. They were all talk."
"I had no idea..."
"On that, you are modest despite your superior talents. You and Alan might make a good team."
He gives the reason but...All it means is that all could do it if they can just get along with his son.
"We have high expectations for you so do a good work."
"I'll do my best.."
"That's all I wanted to talk about. Actually, I have to get going. I am sorry for summoning you out of the blue. Excuse me."
"Of course."
*SLAM*
I watch the Director as he hurried out the door and let out a sigh.
Its exactly as Way said.
The Director is completely uninterested in seeing the patients.
I start to leave too but suddenly I stand still.
This could be my chance to search for the medical records for permanent retention...
I hear sounds coming from the hallway.
Nobody would be coming in here...
I approach the Director's desk and reach my hand toward a drawer.
Its not here... No proof about a 12-year- old mistake.
But there's got to be something...
*clank* clank*
Huh, the drawer on this cabinet are locked. All of the others are unlocked. Could it be?
Wait, wasnt there a keychain one of these drawers?
I think it was over here..
*knock knock*
"Its Way."
"Way! What am I going to do?"
"Sir, I'm coming in."
*click*
"He's not here.. What's this? Who's there?"
"......."
"What are you doing there?"
"The Director called me here."
"But he's not in?"
"No..he left a moment ago.."
"Then why are you still in his office?"
"I...My necklace fell.."
"You were wearing a necklace?"he asked suspiciously.
"I was, just today."I lied.
"And you're sure it was here that you lost it?"
"I'm sure I was wearing it when I came to meet the Director so it should be here."
"Hmm, is it silver or gold?"
Way's eyes began scanning the floor.
"Its all right, I've looked everywhere. I give up."
I put an end to the conversation and leave the room.
*SLAM*
That was close.
Way believes me but I cant let myself be tempted into doing anything unplanned like that again.
Several days later....
I finish work and am about to leave when I notice that the nurses are strangely excited.
What's going on? Did something happen?
Nurse Sonic and Nurse Tul are walking my way.
"This is getting ridiculous," Nurse Tul said.
"Um, did something happen?"
"Yes, Pit.Babe happened. He in the single-occupancy room."
"Is there some kind of problem?"
"The media got wind of him staying here," Nurse North answered. "The front entrance is flooded with press people."
"Oh.."
"They're taking pictures from the building that faces his window too. Pit Babe and his manager are both feeling really tense."
"He brought his manager," Nurse Tul adds. "They're treating all of the nurses like criminals. - 'Catch the person who leaked this information and bring that person to me!' - Give me a break. They even went on to preach to me about security and privacy."
"They sound difficult all right."
"Were you leaving?"
"Yes, my shift ended and I thought I'd leave early today."
"In that case, you should go out by the back, You'll be surrounded by the press if you use the front entrance."
"Back..?"
"There's a back entrance but its hard to find. I'll take you."Nurse Sonic offered.
"Thank you."
"All right Doctor, lets go."
We walk all the way to the end of the hall and then make a turn. The lighting is dark.
"I didnt know there was a place like this.."
"Yeah. The Department of Sugery is in the new wing. Everything from this point is the old wing."
Even the walls seem black.
"Interesting, I didnt know there was an old wing."
"Its not used anymore so nobody really walks this way."
What a waste. Its perfectly usable.
So many hospitals could use a building like this...
I guessed it shows how healthy the cash is here.
"If you just go down those steps, you'll be at the back door."
"I see. You can leave me here then."
"You sure?"
"Yes, you should return to work. Thank you so much for your help."
"When you leave thru that door, just walk along the building. You'll end up on the main street."
"Got it. It's dark so dont forget to be careful on your way back."
"You too Doctor."
I part with Nurse Sonic and step onto the dim staircase.
*creak...*
The door has grown heavy with rust. I guess they dont really use the place.
I slowly peek my head out the door. The area is completely quiet.
Looks like nobody's here.
I've made it. There was something a little creepy about that stairwell though....
I'm about the exit the hospital when....
"Ring"
"?"
Somebody's here?
"Alright. Tell them I'll be there later."
This voice...Its Alan's.
What is he doing here?
Curious, I walk toward the building from which his voice came from.
I look up at the stairwell.
And saw Alan there, smoking and writing something down.
What is he doing up there?
"Dr Alan?"
Alan looks up at me in surprise. And on that beat, a piece of paper drops from his hands and flutters down towards me.
Hey....
I dash over to the paper and pick it up.
Huh? This is?
Alan descends the steps and silently reaches his hand out.
"This is a copy of Ms Vill Waranot's medical record."
Alan looks away.
Looking closely, I see that it include notes on his conversation with her son.
In Alan's hands is a bulky notebook.
Alan snatches the copy from my hands and sticks it in the notebook.
"Do you keep the records of all of your patients in there?"
"Only the one I lose."
"But you said,' dont waste time after its over'..."
"If all you're doing is crying about it."
"....."
"But its worth not forgetting."
"For treating the next patient.."
"Yeah..that and to admonish...Myself."
A dark expression suddenly flashes across his face.
Admonish himself.... Alan...
Does he plan on carrying the burden of his patients death for his whole life.
He'll ruin himself.
I remember when I saw him taking a nap in the on-call room.
He seemd to be having a terrible nightmare.
Was he tortured by their deaths..?
Alan turns away, as if rejecting any further questions and disappear toward the dark hospital wing.
He might actually be the kindest, warmest person of anyone...........