FLASHBACK
Ever since they had shot Our Skky, things between Ohm and Nanon had been tense. Ohm was not sure why, but from his side he knew it was because it was getting harder and harder to hide his feelings for Nanon.
Countless people had pointed it out to them; family members, friends, crew members, fans and even sometimes complete strangers, that even though they were not speaking much to each other, one always had their eyes fixed on the other. They would just give each other googly eyes from across every room they were in.
Ohm did not know if he could do anything about this or ff he should do anything about this, because if Nanon did not feel the same way, he would lose his best friend, his partner in crime and his pairing. It would just be a huge personal and professional mess. So, he kept quiet, praying to God that one day he would get over Nanon, but that day never came.
Ohm did not know how long he could continue doing this. Working with Nanon was becoming difficult. They would end up arguing most of the time. Sometimes over trivial things like who would drive or what to wear and sometimes over big things like schedules and events. Their argument outside the Maya Awards venue had made quite the headline.
According to Perth and P'Earth, there was a big neon sign on his forehead, screaming that he is in love with Nanon, that only Nanon was too blind to see. Ohm wasn't even sure when they had noticed his predicament, but he could not lie to them afterwards.
Moreover, it wasn't like Nanon was being easy at all. He confused Ohm like there was no tomorrow. Every day, he would bring home-made lunch for Ohm, even if they were fighting, but would refuse to eat with him. He would always lock eyes with Ohm across every room they were in, but also flirted back with P'Force. All in all, he was making Ohm's head hurt, making him angrier.
It was right after one of their fights, Ohm could not even remember what they were fighting about, but he remembered well that the host of the interview was being very touchy with Nanon, and Ohm did not like it. He did not like it one bit.
Worst of all, Nanon did not object, on screen or off screen, he just did not say anything. Ohm controlled himself throughout the event, to not punch the host and drag Nanon backstage to kiss the day lights out of him, but when they were coming out, he had an outburst, in front of the media.
They were walking through the crowd, reporters gathering around them like flies around sweets, and they were being pushed against each other once again. At some point Ohm had grabbed Nanon's hand to guide him through the crowd. No matter how mad they were at each other, some things were constant.
Just as they were near their cars, some reporter asked them if they were together and Ohm, who was still reeling from his anger over the host, fucked up. He fucked up majorly.
"No, we are just friends." Ohm was too quick to say.
Obviously, they had been asked this question multiple times and every time they would either answer with a shameless 'yes' or 'I just love him' and get away with it. But this time Ohm had suddenly decided to let his feelings of jealousy take over him.
He immediately felt Nanon tense up next to him, and he disengaged his hand from Ohm's. He smiled at the reported and said, "Best of friends," so the reply would look more natural and not give away the tension they had between them and started walking towards the car with quick steps. Ohm had just followed, not sure how he was going to apologize.
The car ride had mostly been silent, with the driver looking at the road, P'Kwang busy on her phone and Nanon looking the other way, hiding his face from Ohm. Ohm decided that he needed to let Nanon have some time to calm down and then he would apologize.
Turns out, Nanon had other plans.
Before they reached his apartment, he suddenly turned to P'Kwang and said, "Phi, I cannot do this anymore."
The entire car froze, including the driver. Nanon was crying.
"Non what are you talking about?" was P'Kwang's reply. Ohm was just too stunned to react.
"I cannot continue working like this, in this pairing. I cannot continue the BL theme; it is affecting me too much."
Ohm's mind was a mess what the hell was Nanon saying? Was this about Ohm's comment? Surely, he would not end their pairing over something as trivial as this. Right?
"Nanon what is this about?" P'Kwang continued.
"Nothing Phi, I just think it's time for me to focus on my music."
Just as he said this, they were already outside Nanon's house, and the car stopped. Before P'Kwang or Ohm could stop him, Nanon was already out and walking towards the entrance without other word.
Ohm turned to P'Kwang and said, "Um I'll just...aa-," pointing towards Nanon's disappearing back.
"Just go idiot, what are you waiting for?" was her quick reply and Ohm was off, rushing out from the car and chasing Nanon.
"Nanon!" "Non!" "Please Stop."
Nanon did not even turn around and kept walking.
"Baby please stop."
It had been common for them to refer to each other as 'baby' 'tueng' or 'ter' so Ohm did not understand Nanon's reaction, when he sharply turned around, pushed Ohm on his chest and said, "DO NOT CALL ME THAT!"
Ohm was quickly losing his temper too. Fair enough he had fucked up, but he did not think this called for such an extreme reaction
"What is wrong with you Nanon? Huh? Why are you behaving this way?"
"Ohm just leave. I have told my decision to P'Kwang, and it is not going to change."
Ohm sighed, trying to hold it together, "Why are you doing this? Are you trying to punish me?"
"Punish you?" Nanon gave a humorless chuckle. "Contrary to your belief Mr. Pawat, my entire world does not revolve around you. I am doing this for myself and my career."
With that, Nanon turned around and tried to walk away, only for Ohm to grab his wrist roughly, pin it at the small of Nanon's back and pull him back to his own chest, making Nanon face him.
"Are you sure that is what is going on here Nanon?" Ohm said, anger lacing his voice.
"Leave my hand."
"No. Answer my question."
"Let me go."
Ohm used his hand that was already on Nanon's waist to pull him closer.
"Where is the brave Nanon, who always has something to say hmm?" Ohm knew he was not helping the matter by mocking Nanon like this, but he wanted to get a reaction out of him.
"You want me to say something? Okay. Then listen to this: I AM DONE WITH YOU. We are done. Ohm and Nanon are over."
That did it for Ohm. Maybe he did have it all wrong. Clearly Nanon did not feel anything for him. It was too easy for him to walk away. There was no point in fighting anymore. Ohm immediately let go off Nanon, walking away backwards with his hands raised.
"Okay. I got your message. Thank you for everything." With that Ohm walked away, without looking back even once. He heard Nanon call out to him, at least twice, after which he also huffed and probably walked inside.
He did not care. He was the fool who could not differentiate between real and reel and had fallen for Nanon.
No worries. Now that they were done, he was going to forget Nanon. Ohm was going to get over him. He would teach himself to hate Nanon and eventually it will get easy.
Breaking news. It never did.
END OF FLASHBACK.
*******************************
PRESENT DAY.
It had nearly been a month since the night Ohm had lost his control. He was so close to just grabbing Nanon and reminding him exactly who he belonged to, but he thanked every force in the universe that stopped him from doing so. He was not ready to admit his feelings to himself, let alone Nanon.
He had promised himself to hate Nanon till the end of his days then why was he falling for him again? There was no way in the world that this was going to end up well. It would be a disaster like last time and this time it would be worse because Neo was involved in the equation too. No. He had to find a grip and he had to find a grip fast.
Nanon, the ever-stubborn beautiful man that he was, had tried to confront Ohm multiple times about what he had said that night, but Ohm simply refused to speak to him about this until he figured out what was going on in his own head.
Predictably, things had started to worsen between them. The truce that they had reached after so much difficulty was wearing thin. It was like they were back to the time when they were finding it difficult to be with each other right before their big argument. If Ohm would walk into a room, Nanon would walk right out. He had also stopped sleeping in Ohm's room, dragging the mattress into the nursery and sleeping there so the baby monitor was no longer a problem.
Many times, Ohm had thought of telling Nanon to sleep on the bed with him. That mattress was ratty, and he knew Nanon was uncomfortable on it, but he just couldn't bring himself to. Waking up to Nanon next to him, may be too much for him to handle. It wasn't like he hadn't before. Obviously, he had, which was all the more reason to avoid it because he knew how cute a puffy, sleepy, and cold Nanon looked, straight out of the bed. So, he shut up and let Nanon sleep on the floor, until he had finally moved out.
He could sense that Nanon was just done with him, he did not even look at Ohm when they weren't speaking about Neo. Ohm was sure it would have ended like last time if not for the baby. He was the glue that was still binding them together.
It was only Neo that could make both of them forget all the tension between them and get completely involved in whatever they were doing together. Ohm had been particularly grateful for this on two momentous occasions.
First had been a landmark moment in Neo's childhood and Ohm would forever thank every God out there that he got to witness it. It was the day when Neo had taken his first steps.
They were sitting in the living room after a long day. Ohm was, sitting on the couch, watching an old football match and Nanon was sitting on the floor nearby where Neo was with his toys. The top favorite of that week had been the chu-chu train, which was laid out on the floor. If not for that stupid train, Nanon would have walked back into the nursery to avoid Ohm.
They were sitting in peace as much as they could, when suddenly, he heard Nanon gasp, who immediately grabbed onto Ohm's ankle, without looking away from Neo.
"Ohm," he whispered as if too scared to spook the baby. "Ohm look he is trying to stand."
Ohm almost broke his neck, he turned so quickly. There he was. Ohm's little son, trying to push himself up with the help of the coffee table and succeeding. Ohm had tears in his eyes. So did Nanon.
"Come to me baby," Nanon said to Neo, holding his hands out, but not quite holding Neo, letting him find his own pace. Ohm on the other hand was too excited to remain seated. He got up and started encouraging Neo, with claps and words of appreciation.
"That's my boy Neo! Come on!"
Neo looked up at him with those big, beautiful eyes and gave him the gummiest smile possible, slowly starting to walk towards Nanon. Both of them held their breath as he stumbled a bit, but nonetheless, made his way into Nanon's arms. They were openly crying now. If only P'Mix and P'Earth were here to witness this.
Nanon picked Neo up in his arms then got up on his feet to spin him around. But the excited Ohm had other ideas.
Instead, he picked Nanon up in his arms who was still holding Neo and spun all of them around. Surprisingly, both Neo and Nanon giggled just as Nanon grabbed Ohm's shirt with his free hand to steady himself. Ohm put them down chuckling, pulling then into a hug, which Nanon suddenly broke, clearing his throat and walked away with Neo.
Ohm swore he saw his entire life walking away from him in that moment. But he had to control himself. For Neo.
The second time was when one day, about a week ago, Nanon was in the living room with Baby Neo, trying to feed him the mashed potatoes, while Ohm was in the kitchen, figuring out how to cook an egg. Neo had been in a bad mood the entire day and had had at least two break downs since morning. He was refusing to play, refusing to smile and now apparently refusing to eat and Nanon was trying really hard. Ohm could hear his efforts from the kitchen.
"Come on baby, just one bite na?"
"No? For me, please na." Nothing. Neo refused to budge.
Then suddenly Ohm hear Nanon gasp and ran to see if both his boys were okay.
Oh, Neo was okay. Nanon, not so much. He was sitting there, with a spoon full of mash potatoes stuck to his glasses.
By the way did Ohm mention Nanon's glasses? They were the most amazing thing ever. Nanon was trying to strain his eyes less these days and had been advised to wear glasses at least around the house.
They were doing everything for Ohm but nothing for his self-control.
Anyway, the sight of an incredulous Nanon, covered in mashed potato, made Ohm laugh and laugh hard. He was gripping the wall beside him in order to not fall from the force of it.
"Of course, it's funny to you." Nanon said, trying to wipe out his face.
"What? Why are you blaming me? Blame Neo!" Ohm was still laughing pretty hard, annoying Nanon further. Ohm still isn't sure what happened next, because it happened so quickly, but suddenly now he was the one covered in mashed goo with Nanon standing by Neo, laughing mockingly at Ohm.
"Who's laughing now?"
Ohm had to admit Nanon was looking very cute, but that did not mean Ohm would not take his revenge and even Nanon knew that Ohm could be very aggressive when it came to petty fights like these.
"Oh, you did not just..." Ohm said, running back to the kitchen in a flash and bringing out the entire crate of eggs he was using previously. Nanon's face lost all color, as he tried hiding behind the couch.
"Ohm no! Ohm stop it!"
"You should have thought of the consequences Non, now it's game over."
"Stop you ape! You will hurt Neo!"
"Oh shut up you scaredy cat, don't get the baby to save you!"
Nanon had no option but to run and Ohm followed hot on his heels. Neo, meanwhile, for the first time that entire day, was enjoying himself, giving out small giggles and squeals every now and then.
Ohm did finally catch up to Nanon, grabbing him by the wrist and trapping him in his own strong arms. Never till his dying day could Nanon break off from that strong grip. Ohm then broke an egg, very gently mind you, right on top of Nanon's head.
"Ew!" Nanon squealed and Ohm laughed.
"You invited this upon yourself!"
"You are disgusting," Nanon was pushing him away but failing. Ohm finally let Nanon go himself, breaking the spell again, clearing his throat and walking back to Neo.
Now that Ohm looked back on what had happened, he knew he was very close to kissing a disgusted Nanon. The way his little nose scrunched up at the smell of the egg, almost made Ohm lose his control once again, but he did walk away. For Neo.
Living with this man was getting harder and harder.
Anyway, currently he was once again in the living room after putting Neo to sleep, waiting for Nanon to come back from the airport as he had been in Malaysia for the past two days and had a late-night flight. It was almost 11:30 PM. Ohm would be lying if he said he was not worried.
Just has he was about to call Nanon very daringly, to check-in, he heard the key being put into the main door and Nanon stumbled in. He was dressed nicely but his hair looked a bit messy, cheeks and nose red and he had a loopy smile on his face. He was clearly drunk.
"What took you so long?" Ohm couldn't help but ask.
Why was he drunk if he was coming back from the airport? Nanon was startled as if he did not see Ohm sitting there.
"Oh! You are up."
"Obviously. I was waiting for you."
"There is no need to wait for me Ohm. You can go sleep," Nanon said as he took his shoes off and stepped into the living room.
"I'll go but first tell me what took you so long? Your flight was meant to land at 8:00 PM." Ohm wasn't sure why, but he was getting annoyed.
"It's none of your business Pawat,"
Nanon's jab would have sounded more powerful if it wasn't accompanied by Nanon stumbling on his own two feet. Ohm sighed and looked up for strength to deal with this situation. Then he got up and took a hold of Nanon's arm, trying to steer him clear off the furniture and walk him back to the bedroom. Nanon obviously started pushing him away instantly.
"I don't need your help. Let me go." He tried his best to get out of Ohm's grip but to no avail.
"Stop struggling! You can't even walk! And how irresponsible can you be Nanon? You have a baby waiting at home and look at yourself!"
Ohm shook Nanon, a bit harshly he must admit, but he had a bad feeling about what was happening. He did feel guilty about pulling the baby card though but his desire to get a reaction out of Nanon, made him keep it aside.
"Don't play that game with me Ohm! I have a life outside this. I love Neo, but I knew he was home with you."
Nanon was getting angrier by the minute too. They were now right outside the guest bedroom, standing at the door and arguing.
"Where the hell were you?!" Ohm did not know how to respond to what Nanon had just said, so he repeated his main question, just slightly more dramatically.
"I was on a date okay!"
Ohm saw red.
He left Nanon's arm and grabbed his wrist instead, twisting it at the small of Nanon's waist and pulling him closer. Poor drunk Nanon had no option but to comply, as he grabbed onto Ohm' shoulder with his other hand to maintain his balance.
"With whom?" was Ohm's steely whisper.
Ohm wasn't sure if Nanon was scared of him in that moment, and he hopes to God he wasn't because Ohm would never hurt Nanon, but he just knew that there was no point in lying to Ohm right now.
"Chang Ma." Nanon mumbled.
"What the hell did you just say?"
"I said CHANG MA!" Okay Nanon was pissed now.
"Nanon, I specifically told you not to see him again! Why would you do that?"
Even though Ohm was known for his anger issues, he never thought he possessed the capability of killing someone. But in that moment, he just knew if Chang Ma showed up anywhere near Nanon, he would not go back alive.
"Yeah? And why should I be listening to you Pawat?" Nanon said with a grimace, as Ohm in his anger unintentionally squeezed the wrist he was holding.
"Ohm you are hurting me."
That broke Ohm out of his murder plans, but he did not let go, instead he pulled Nanon closer to his chest, as much as possible. They were both looking directly into each other's eyes, faces only a few centimeters apart, anger simmering in their demeanor.
"YOU ARE HURTING ME NON! Why are you trying to punish me?"
"PUNISH YOU! You selfish bastard, not everything in my life is about you!"
Ohm was done. He was going to confront Nanon about his feelings here and now.
"Yeah? So, you are telling me you never had feelings towards me Non? Am I supposed to believe that?"
In retrospect, Ohm could have been gentler about this. In fact, what he was trying to say was that he too had feelings for Nanon, but his jealousy really ruined the confession.
Nanon looked shocked. His eyes grew comically big, with now suddenly tears flashing in them and the anger dying down.
"What am I supposed to say to that Ohm?" he whispered after a long pause.
"Just say the truth for once Nanon." Ohm really wanted him to admit it.
"Yes. Yes, I did have feelings for you, and you did not care one bit. Happy Casanova Pawat? One more victim to the score board!" Nanon said, still grabbing onto Ohm's shoulder but no longer looking at him, his head bowed down in defeat and sobs shaking his shoulder.
Ohm, still holding onto Nanon, stood there in shock. So, Nanon did have feelings for him? Ohm did not know how to react. In this moment he was the happiest man alive and at the same time his heart was breaking because Nanon thought he did not care.
Without thinking much, Ohm just put a finger under Nanon's chin and forced him to look up and Nanon did, still sobbing. Ohm hated seeing tears in Nanon's eyes. So, he did what he knew best.
"Push me away if you don't want this."
That was his last warning, as he used his hand already on Nanon's waist to pull him into a kiss. He was actually expecting Nanon to push him away, may be even slap him, Ohm would have taken that, but he did not expect Nanon to open up beautifully in his arms and in a flash, he had his tongue down Nanon's throat.
Ohm was very possessive about the things and people that were his and that was reflected in the kiss. He let go of the wrist he was holding and put his hands under Nanon hips to lift him and put him against the wall, for a better angle. Nanon was shocked, but also did not break the kiss, putting his arms around Ohm's neck. Slowly, Ohm broke the kiss and moved down to Nanon's neck. All the possessiveness that he felt, was again channeled into his actions as he left hickeys all along that long beautiful neck, marking his territory. Nanon was writhing in pleasure all through out and Ohm, must admit, his knees felt like jelly when he heard Nanon moan his name.
Their impromptu make out session was interrupted by the sound of Neo crying. Wow perfect timing. Ohm, for a second, very selfishly pretended not to hear it. Very reluctantly, it was Nanon who broke the kiss and looked at Ohm, saying something that Ohm did not hear because he was too busy staring at Nanon's kiss swollen lips and the marks that he himself had left behind. Ohm had not seen anything so beautiful.
"Ohm!" Nanon said a bit loudly, still hanging in the air between Ohm's arms and the wall. "Go check on him."
Ohm carefully put Nanon down and went to check on Neo. He was standing in his crib with his arms in anticipation for Ohm to lift him up and Ohm did. Neo calmed down almost instantly. Nanon chuckled at that, standing at the door and quietly watching their interaction.
Just as Ohm was about to put Neo back, another miracle happened.
Neo took Ohm's face between his tiny chubby hands and said, "Dada..." It was as clear as it could have been, but clear enough to make both Ohm and Nanon freeze in shock.
"What the fuck?" Ohm could not control his reaction.
"Ohm language!" Nanon scolded with a smile on his face and overwhelmed tears in his eyes.
Nanon was having a very different reaction than Ohm. He seemed happy about what had just transpired. Ohm on the other hand was a having a panic attack.
He was a father now? How was he supposed to be a father? Isn't this what P'Earth should have gone through instead of him? Was he replacing P'Earth in Neo's life? What if-,
His thoughts were interrupted by Neo, who could almost sense his predicament and decided to make fun of it by repeating what he had just said, "Dada," he said with another gummy smile.
Ohm could not take it. He had to get out. Too much was happening too quickly, and he felt suffocated. He immediately passed Baby Neo to Nanon and rushed out of the nursery.
Initially Nanon was too shocked to react but then just as Ohm was walking out the door, he heard Nanon's concerned yet confused voice.
"Where are you going?"
"Out."
Ohm knew it seemed rude, especially after what had happened between them but to be fair, Ohm could barely speak. He grabbed his bike keys and his shoes in his hands.
"Ohm not on that death trap."
It was like Nanon knew that in this moment, it was pointless to stop Ohm, so he protested what he could.
"Nanon I am leaving."
"You should not be driving that bike, when you know your kid's parents-,"
Before Nanon could complete that sentence, in that moment, it was important for Ohm to stop him.
"He is not my kid."
Nanon was too stunned to react to that, and Ohm rushed out of the house. He needed to breathe first; other things could be taken care of later.
Author Notes:
Happy Birthday to our dear boy Ohm.
Please be kind to him. He is having a bit of a moment.