CHAPTER 13
WE NEED A DIFFERENT ESCAPE
Beneath the Dark Peak, Nelson stared at his own stars. Tina's gaze returned down to the floor. On their bench, a wordless impasse had developed between them. Stillness descended breath by breath on the chamber, and no one moved. Their anxiety levels were rising, yet neither would speak first to admit it.
As he focused on the lights above, Nelson detected a twitching beneath Orion's belt. A tiny square of the ceiling folded in on itself, and a small close-circuit television camera beetled out.
"Look," Nelson indicated.
"Oh my God!" snarled Tina looking up, "Is that what this is? If it's some kind of Candid Camera..."
"Jesus, no I didn't mean that..." said Nelson, yet smiling self-consciously at the lens, "... do you think this is my best side?"
"I'm asking one more time Nelson. What the hell am I doing here?"
"I'm not sure."
"Not sure. Not sure! You must have some idea... or you are very stupid. This is hopeless. The only thing I know is that there is £14.79's worth of Waitrose shopping scattered over Finchley Road and thanks to you, the day out I'd planned is completely... completely... ruined!"
Nelson stretched his neck stiffly from side to side and linked his fingers, pushing the palms in a downward motion.
"Well?" demanded Tina.
He swivelled on the bench to face her directly.
"Okay Tina, firstly, I'm sorry for all of this. Secondly, a very long story, short. My friend Duke has disappeared, I think. Duke loves a conspiracy theory and that's an important point. I'm just a palaeontologist who somehow has ended up writing technology articles for Sunday supplements and Computing magazine, which I'm realizing I now hate. I mean, who cares how the new Acorn Electron stacks up against the Commodore 64?"
Tina shrugged blankly.
"My thoughts exactly. Anyway, a couple of months ago Duke loses his sense of humour, turns more inward and his long-coat even stays on indoors. He keeps saying things like 'this one's a real conspiracy' and I'm just replying telling him to lighten up. As I keep ignoring him, he insists I meet him in our local library. He shows me this encyclopaedia he's found there that looks like it hasn't been opened for years. Bingo! It has a neat recess cut right out of the middle. He gets this yellowing NASA envelope out of his pocket, and it fits perfectly in the recess. He swears its genuine, then and tells me to read it. Sure enough it's from NASA to a Doctor Grimaldi, and he used to live where you live now. That... is the reason I came to your place in Swiss Cottage."
"And got me out of the shower."
"I'm also sorry about that."
"Get on with it."
"The letter talks about Grimaldi's opinions on rockets and the first Moon landing. But the letter is dated... get this, 1927! Not just once, twice. That's over fifty years before Neil Armstrong told us how smug you can be as the first one there. Duke seems to clock this guy in big dark glasses, tells me to keep the letter safe, and then leaves the library very quick. And that... was the last I saw of him. What would you do? We grew up together. He's like a brother to me. So, I tried to return it to you, we know what happened there. Anyway, if it is a fake, then someone is going to a lot of effort, and in the most obscure places. So, the wind in my sails I ring NASA and a whimpering brain cell has trouble breathing when I mention Grimaldi and Moon in the same sentence, and then a voice that should be advertising aftershave says We'll be in touch. Then a dark-glasses guy snaps a photo of me outside my home... And here I am! And I still don't know where Duke is."
Tina's stare was intense, locked in stone. Her deep brown eyes were accusatory. A sudden jerked movement of her hands, fingers splayed, and thumbs upwards sounded a silent message. And me?
"And Tina... I think you're here because you've got nice legs."
She slapped Nelson hard across the face, holding back a scream, but her face reddened.
"That's fair enough," accepted Nelson, holding a palm gently to his smarting cheek. He maintained eye contact. "I deserved that. I'm so sorry, that's all I can say again. I found it hard to approach you as you left the supermarket, and I wish I never had. I didn't foresee any of this, and you were never part of it."
He turned back on his seat to face the huge door through which they had entered.
"I got all wrapped up in my head. I'm a truly gullible idiot. You've been so calm."
He paused for a moment, and then looked at Tina and went to reach out a hand. It hovered hesitantly mid-air, unconnected.
"We need to find a way out of here," he said finally.
"Out of where Nelson? Underneath Yorkshire and this circular tube of white tiling? Jesus. You look at a map of the world and there's a little flashing dot in the middle of England which says You Are Here. Thanks a lot Mr. Wotsit... Knowall. Oh Nelson... we need to be above Yorkshire, not some flashing dot below it. Forget that, we need to be in London, walking home with our shopping. No, forget that as well. I need to be in Concorde, first class to JFK, bottomless margaritas, limo to Manhattan, top floor at the Plaza, dinner at..."
"I think you'll find Concorde has only one..."
"Shut up Nelson! Don't spoil my rant."
"Shall I leave you to it?" said Nelson, rising from the bench.
"What. No! Come back here!" yelled Tina, "You don't get to do all the talking. You've got to listen."
Having taken steps away from her with a hand still on his smarting cheek, Nelson relented and reseated himself. Tina carried on.
"Moon landings. 1927. NASA. Don't you see Nelson, it's all Boys Own conspiracy crap. Hey lads, hey. Straight out of a Quinn Martin production. Next you'll start talking about aliens and E bloody T. Boring!"
"I still haven't seen it yet,"
"What!"
"Phone hooooome..."
"Oh, get stuffed!" said Tina to the world.
***
They sat in silence as Tina cooled off. Choosing his moment and words carefully, Nelson whispered softly.
"So, if we're going to escape, and now I really want to, then we need calm, intellect and a brilliant idea."
"We're stuck down here for life then," huffed Tina.
Nelson rose once from his seat and moved towards the keyboard and incredulously flat screen. Both had remained in place as the Knowall left the room. Staring at its blankness, he noticed a small logo etched into its surface. It was unfamiliar to him, and as he ran one finger lightly across it and towards the keyboard, he made out a recessed switch marked subtly with a 1 and 0.
It was inviting. Nelson pressed it.
The screen pinged to life and informed Nelson that he was using GlasSlate® OS version 28.7. It briefly notified him a full memory scan was in process, and subsequently a wireless network was established. Nelson pondered this meaning as the cursor blinked. Finally, the screen cleared, and a single word appeared at its apex.
>Yes? it said.
Taking the initiative, Nelson stood before the keyboard.
>Yes what? he typed.
>What do you wish to know? was the reply.
It dawned on Nelson what he had at his fingertips.
>Where is Duke? he wrote.
>Duke Kramer?
>Yes.
>Indeterminate.
He stared at this answer. The reply disturbed Nelson and deepened the mystery of what had happened to his friend. Turning to Tina he whispered.
"What did the Knowall say he was going to do with us?"
She looked up with anger and contempt still clear in her face.
"Erase us," she hissed.
"Erase, that was it," confirmed Nelson. He whirled back to the screen to request a definition.
>Define erase.
>Standard or Revised? it queried.
>Revised typed Nelson assuming a more relevant definition would ensue.
The delay was a few seconds, yet when the screen replied it displayed just five words. As a glacial chill shot through Nelson's body all colour drained from his face. Nausea wrapped a cold cloak around him.
"Are you okay?"
Tina watched Nelson suddenly reach to support himself, grabbing both the sides of the flat screen.
He took two deep breaths.
"I asked this computer for their..." he whirled a right hand silently in the air, "...definition of erase."
"And?"
"Look."
He stepped back from the screen, holding an arm out towards it. Tina rushed forward, gasping at the five words coming into view. They said:
>Removed from the human race.
***
Searching frantically around, Nelson's head snapped in multiple directions. He recognised an arrangement amongst the tiny illuminations above, yet it had to be a quirk of the light. He glanced at the CCTV monitoring their movements. Once more he spotted something in the ceiling lights, and assumed he was imagining.
He checked Tina, whose gaze was fixed at the screen. He refocused on the lights. The more he stared the more they twinkled and formed into shapes. Together near the artificial horizon they coalesced in a dream to spell out 'Emergency Exit'. This held station above what Nelson assumed to be a black hole in the map of the cosmos.
Never.
Yes...?
YES! Emergency Exit.
"Do you think that camera can shoot?"
"What?" asked Tina.
"Never mind. I'm rarely proactive but now's the time. Let's go."
Nelson grabbed her arm and dashed towards the sign.
"What the hell are you doing?"
"This is an emergency, and we need an exit."
"What!"
"We need a different escape! Just try to trust me, please."
He pulled sharply at Tina's hand, lifting her reluctantly from her seat.
"What are we doing Nelson?"
"Trust me."
Starting to run, Nelson and Tina plunged headlong into the black hole.