The day has felt too long and too short at the same time. I spent the whole morning teaching my students, then had a private training session with one of them for an hour after lunch. I escorted my two first-years to their mission and cast the curtain until they were done. Just now, I got out of the shower after helping Shoko clean for an hour or two. It's not a bad punishment, and I think Yaga knows it, which is probably why he gave me the other punishment on top of it.
I fall into bed and take a deep breath. It started to rain an hour ago, and as I close my eyes, I listen to the sound of the raindrops against my window. I hope tomorrow will be cooler; I'm quite sick of the heat. I want to go to sleep, but my phone buzzes, making me open my eyes again. I lift my head off the pillow and reach for my phone on the bedside table. Two messages from my mother and one from... Gojo? I sit up and open it.
"What does he think he's doing?" Gojo texted.
I frown. "What? Who?" is all I reply, even though I can imagine who he's talking about.
Gojo's answer comes immediately, making me smile. What is he doing right now? Is he in bed, too? Was he waiting for me to text?
Yaga
Yaga?
Did Shoko tell
you something?
He can't think that
sending you on
missions alone is a
good idea
I groan and look up at the ceiling for a second to find the strength not to get angry.
How many times do
we have to go through
this?
What?
This is not about
me not trusting you
or thinking you're not
good enough, (y/n). This
is about him sending
a sorcerer out on her own.
Oh, so no one should
be sent on their own
except for you, is that it?
Because you're the only
one who can handle it?
I'm startled when the phone in my hand starts to vibrate again, and the screen goes black for a second. He's calling me? Shit. Maybe I took it too far. No, fuck him. I'm serious. I pick up, ready to shout at him, but he starts to speak first, and his soft tone surprises me so much that I shut my mouth again.
"I'm not saying that," Gojo says carefully. "There should always be a backup there, and Yaga knows this. He knows what can happen when a sorcerer goes out on their own."
I sigh. There it is again: that feeling that he's talking from experience. I really want to ask, but I don't. If I decide to do this, it shouldn't be over the phone.
"Nanami never has backup," I mumble, a bit embarrassed about my outburst.
Gojo sighs, and it turns into a soft chuckle. "Because Nanami has his past, too." That makes me frown. Nanami, too? "Besides, he prefers to work alone. That doesn't mean that he does that all the time. You've been with him on multiple missions, haven't you?"
He's right. Gojo is right, and it annoys me that I have to admit that. "Fine," I resign.
"It -" Gojo stops himself but then changes his mind. "It feels like this is a punishment for me, though."
I frown. "What do you mean?"
There's a short silence and the sound of crumpling sheets, which makes me smile. So he is in bed, too. "It's worse for me here knowing that you might be fighting curses on your own right now."
My heart is beating so fast and so loud that I almost didn't hear what he said. But just almost. He has a point, though. Finding out that Gojo went to Kyoto without telling me and that he'll be gone for days felt like a punishment for me, too. I only nod to myself, but I don't say anything. I don't know if this is what he'd like to hear. Besides, I can't have him defying any more orders by coming back here to me. He needs to stay where he is, so I shouldn't give him any more reason to come back.
"How's Kyoto?" I ask instead. "Have you seen Utahime yet?"
"I saw her just this morning before heading out. She's doing good, and she said she'll swing by our school when she finds some time this week."
I smile. It's always nice to see Utahime. She and Shoko are really good friends, also from their school days, and I somehow fit in there, too.
"Where did you go?" I ask.
"There was a curse on a graveyard. The authorities wanted someone there as fast as possible before a new grave would be used. So I went and took care of it."
His nonchalance makes me smile and roll my eyes at the same time. "What grade?"
"One. They wouldn't have wasted me on anything lower than a two," he replies, and I can literally hear him smirk. Cocky bastard.
"What did I tell you about arrogance?" I ask, laughing.
Gojo snorts. "And what did I tell you about confidence? Skills like mine do wonders for a person's self-confidence."
I laugh and lie down, rolling to my side with the phone still to my ear. "Alright, alright," I sigh. "I got it."
He laughs, too. "So what did you do today? Harass any coworkers with your nasty attitude?"
"Only you," I say sweetly, and I'm glad he can't see me blush. "My attitude doesn't seem to bother anyone else."
"That's because they're too nice to tell you."
"Oh really? So only you're not nice, then? I've always thought so."
The chuckle coming through the phone makes my skin tingle. I wish I could see his face while he makes that sound. Is he wearing his blindfold? I'm assuming he's alone in his room in the dark, so would he be wearing it? It's weird to ask, right?
"Do you know how long you'll be gone?" I ask.
"Why? Already can't stand being without me?"
"No." Yes.
Gojo laughs again. He needs to stop doing that. "Probably until the weekend. Yaga didn't give me a specific date, but I won't stay longer than that. He can- Hey, by the way..." I raise my eyebrows. "How come you got punished? What happened?"
I smirk. "Oh, so you're asking me? I could ask you the same thing."
"You didn't want to tell him, did you?" Gojo predicts just right. How does he always do that?
Even though I know he can't see me blush, I don't speak until it's gone down a little. "What about you, then? Why didn't you tell him?"
Silence.
"Gojo?"
"He doesn't need to know everything," he finally answers. "He wanted us to go together, so we did. He wanted us not to kill each other, so we didn't. That's the extent of what he wanted from us. Anything that goes beyond that is none of his or anyone else's business."
My throat tightens, and my ribs are aching from the hammering of my heart against them. So we're on the same page here. What specifically happened belongs only to us. Even though it might not be a big deal to others (after all, apart from sex, we only had a few nice conversations and went shopping together), it is a big deal to us. As Shoko said, we despised each other before, so any little step into another direction feels like a huge leap for us.
I nod before I remember he can't see me, even though it feels like he can. "Exactly."
"So you didn't tell him anything?" Gojo asks, his voice silent and careful as if he's afraid of the answer.
"No," I reply. "I offered to tell him if he let you come back, but he didn't want to, so I didn't tell him."
"Good girl," Gojo says, and I swear he meant no harm. He probably doesn't know what it does to me when he says those words in his voice while I'm lying in bed and know that he is, too. He probably doesn't know, which makes it so cruel. But if he does know, it's even more cruel of him to say that.
I take a deep, shaking breath and don't say anything for a while. I can hear him breathing on the other end of the phone, and the noise is so soothing that my eyes fall shut.
"Are you okay?" he asks.
"Yeah. I'm just tired."
"You should go to sleep. Who knows, maybe you'll get a mission tomorrow."
I smile and nod to myself again. "Okay. You should sleep, too."
Gojo breathes out a chuckle. "I'm okay."
"No, you're not. I'm not dying right now, and you're not here to watch over me, so you can go to sleep."
"I'll dream of you, then," he says.
My eyes fly open. I hate him. "You will do no such thing," I snap.
"I can't control it, and you most certainly can't." I can hear his grin, and I roll my eyes. I hate him.
"Yes, you can! Dream of something normal. Dream of cursed spirits, for all I care. But not of me."
"I already told you I can see you naked anytime I close my eyes," Gojo utters. "And my eyes are firmly closed right now."
"Gojo!" I'm appalled. "Stop saying stuff like that!"
He laughs. "So, do you want me to sleep or not?"
All I can do is groan and press my head into the pillow. "Fine, dream of me," I resign. "Dream of me stabbing you."
"I can make that work," he states to my surprise. "You throwing me to the ground and stabbing me while you're sitting on top of me. Your legs on either side of my hips, and your face so close to mine as you whisper threats and insults."
I keep shaking my head. "Stop. Stop being so stupid," I say. "Just stop. Go to sleep. I'm tired."
Gojo laughs again. It seems that's all he can do at this point. "Alright, I'm going. Dream of me, then."
Before I can protest, he hangs up, leaving me to stare at my phone in frustration. He makes me so angry sometimes, but my body is burning with something unexplainable. Oh, I hate him.
Just as I'm putting my phone away, it vibrates one last time, and I check the new message. "You look beautiful when you're angry," he texted, and my smile is so big that it makes me roll my eyes and hate myself a little, too.