THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE YALL ARE SHOWING THIS BOOK IT MEANS SM TO ME YOU DONT UNDERSTAND
**
The university looked empty, crunchy leaves swept around like tumbleweeds. A storm cloud hung above Louis but he trudged onwards. A coffee in his hand and a black scarf around his neck was how Louis entered his first class.
He wouldn't say the rest of his class were styled like he was but they were all a bit... unusual.
There were about twenty-thirty students in his class already and a faint chatter was rising from most of the tables. He walked over to an almost empty table and sat a seat away from a girl with the tips of her hair dyed purple, a sharp jawline and dark eyes. She glances at him from the corner of her eye.
"Um, hey." He says and puts on a fake smile, waving awkwardly. "I'm Louis."
"I'm Grace." She whispers, her voice airy. She wore a denim jacket with random bands Louis didn't even know. Louis unraveled his scarf and hung it over the back of his chair.
"Nice to meet you," He says and takes a sip of his coffee, "Are you just doing photography?"
"And Biochemistry." She says lightly and looks at him wide eyed, kind of like she's finding his faults. Suddenly Louis wants to show her all of them. Or hide from her in a very, very, very dark corner.
"Oh," He nods, "Do you want to get into chemistry and science afterwards?"
"No."
"Do you like science?"
"No."
Louis nods slowly and nervously looks away, "O...kay." Then he's face to face with a round faced blonde girl, her hair in bubble braids with pink clips.
"Hi!" She grins, "I'm Michigan!"
She certainly didn't sound American. "You're from Michigan or your name is Michigan?"
"My name is." She tilts her head, her pink dress reminds Louis of what little girls used to wear at the fares in his town he went to with Harry. Stop thinking of Harry. "Your hair is so fluffy how did you get it like that?"
Louis glanced between Grace and Michigan, "Um, I... don't... know?"
Michigan smiles, "That's okay." She turns to Grace, "Babe, you didn't wait for me this morning." She sits in between Louis and Grace but Louis only catches fragments of what Michigan was saying. "No, we're fine... I think you scared the man... no you're not scary but remember that your expressions can be just as strong as your words honey... yeah we can get coffee afterwards."
Louis stares at his coffee and tries to not eavesdrop. The conversation with Harry had been only a day or so ago and Louis could not get it out of his head.
"So, you met the girls, huh?" An Irish accent says from behind Louis. Louis turns and sees a man smiling at him, his hair dyed in a frosted tip kind of way.
"Um, I guess." He held out his hand to shake, "I'm Louis." The man grins and shakes his hand as he sits beside Louis. He yawns.
"I'm exhausted."
"That's Niall." A quiet voice pipes up.
"Thanks, Grace." Niall smiles, "I live with these two, we grew up together. Kind of."
"Kind of?"
"Michigan's my cousin. I moved to her place after my parents divorced." Niall sighs, "Anyway, we live in an old apartment down a few blocks with another guy. You got any roommates?"
"Nah, just me, myself and I."
"Sounds nice. Don't know if I could live alone though."
"Try growing up with four sisters and then two babies."
"Fuck me." Niall sighs as the teacher walks in, "I've only got one sibling and that was enough. Hey, if you're not busy tonight our squad is going out to scout out this bar down a few blocks, you could come with?"
Louis opens his mouth to decline but then he remembers what his mum said. Don't be afraid to make friends, Louis. "Um, maybe, that sounds cool. I'll find your Instagram tonight and let you know." Niall grins at that.
Everyone quiets down as the teacher stands at the front of the room. "Welcome, new students to your photography course."
**
Louis collapsed on his mattress. He should really get out more. He should get laid.
Yeah. That's what he needs.
He rolls over to his phone and clicks on Niall's account he found earlier. He forms a text and sends it. Only moments later he replies and Louis gets off his bed. He changes into black jeans and a white shirt. He slips on his Vans and is out the door in less than ten minutes.
The streets are dark now but lit up by street lights. Louis' stomach grumbles but he ignores it, thinking about which drink he'll order. He turns a few corners and brushes off the chill of the evening. He can't get that drunk. He has a lecture tomorrow at two in the afternoon. The moon peeks out from behind the grey clouds and leaves crunch underfoot. A few stray cars drive past and lights are on in apartments.
Harry would love this.
Shut up.
The bar is called The Dark Knight and loud music plays from inside. It's lit up by neon lights and there are booth seats. It's overall a cool place. Louis spots Niall and Grace in a red booth and slides in.
"Hey," He says and Niall cheers, looking a little tipsy.
"Hey!" He turns to Grace, "It's the hedgehog man, I told you he'd come."
Grace nodded, her expression grim, "You did. You should stop drinking."
Niall shrugs, "Okay," He glances around, "Where's the blonde?"
"Over here!" Michigan sits down next to Louis, two martinis in her hands. She slides one over to Grace, "Hi Louis." Louis smiles.
"Where's the bar?" He asks and Michigan points to it. Louis thanks her and wanders over. A Taylor Swift song plays loudly and Louis starts to feel overwhelmed. He orders a beer and leans against the bar. Maybe he shouldn't have come. Maybe this was too much. Maybe-
"What the fuck." Harry's voice says in monotone and Louis hears glass shatter behind him, a woman screams. He turns and stares at the curly haired man, his hand empty but frozen in mid air as if he was holding a glass, beers trickles across the floor. Louis feels faint.
"Yeah," He mumbles, "I'm gonna go." He turns towards the door but Harry grabs his arm. Louis pulls away like Harry burned him.
"Are you stalking me or something?" Harry snaps. Louis glares at him. Harry's eyes are misty and his breathing is uneven, he glances around like a trapped animal. Louis tries not to feel the concern that's knocking on his stone heart.
"Fuck off." He points a finger in Harry's face, "Don't fucking touch me. Don't come near me."
Harry's shoulders tense, his eyes are getting more focused, "Get your finger out of my face."
Louis inhales and takes a step closer, "Fuck. Off."
Harry almost snarls, "Step away Tomlinson."
Louis' hand clenches in a punch, "Don't call me that you fucking asshole."
"I hate you." Harry snaps. Louis' insides fume.
"Right back at you wanker."
"Don't be mad at me because you can't admit who you are." Harry's jaw clenches. They're chest to chest now.
"And what's that?"
"A-"
"Boy!" Niall's voice rings and Harry closes his eyes, sighing through his nose. Niall swings his arms around their shoulders and squeezes them together. "Aw, Haz, you've met my favourite classmate. And Lou, you've met my favourite roommate!"
Both of them snap their necks towards Niall, "What?" They ask in sync. Niall laughs.
"You two are adorable, my favourite boys." He hums, "Cuties." He taps Louis' nose, "Boop." He does the same to Harry. Harry crinkles his nose and pulls away from Niall.
"I need to take you home mate," He takes Niall's elbow. "Come on." Niall bats his arm away.
"No, fuck off mate. I wanna dance." He smiles and grabs Louis' arm, "Let's dance!" Louis smiles.
"Um, no thanks." He removes himself from Niall's clutches gently. Then he has an evil idea, "Dance with Styles instead."
Niall frowns, then grins. "Okay!" He spins towards Harry, who is giving Louis daggers. He lets himself be dragged to the dancefloor.
"Fucking dick." He curses at Louis, "I hate you."
"Feelings change fast, hey?" Harry grits his teeth, "Have fun sweetheart."
"Shut the fuck up."
Louis turns back to the bar, feeling quite happy with himself. He takes his beer and sips it, thinking about his plan to leave. Someone taps his shoulder.
"Hey," Michigan smiles and leans against the bar, "Do you know Harry?"
"That obvious?"
She laughs, "Yeah, the intense argument gave that away, sorry." Louis lets himself smiles and takes a drink.
"Yeah, we grew up together."
Michigan frowns, "Not good friends?"
Louis thinks for a moment, memories flooding past his vision like a kaleidoscope.
(Lemme tell yall how long it took for me too spell that fr)
"The opposite. He was my best and only friend. Though I don't think he thought he was."
Michigan pursed her lips, looking confused, "I don't understand."
Louis swished his drink and watched the top bubble. "Yeah." He stared at the whirlpool, "Me neither." He sighs and looks up, "Haven't seen him in three years."
Michigan's eyes soften with empathy. She looks like she's going to give a motivational speech. It reminds him of Harry. Louis puts his glass down, his throat feels like it's closing up.
I've said too much.
"I should go." Michigan frowns again.
"What? Why?"
Louis backs away towards the door, "Um, I got stuff. Bye."
"Wait-" He leaves. Out in the cold air he can breathe finally. The heat trapped under his clothes makes his chest tight. He sits on the gutter and tries to get air past the lump in his throat. There's a siren in his ears. Louis' hands shake. Suddenly he's not so hungry.
How long he sits there, trying to get air into his lungs, Louis can't tell. Slowly his breathing becomes more regular, his forehead less dizzy. His vision less foggy. His body cools down.
Fuck.
"Hey." A voice says behind him and he turns to see Harry standing behind him, "What the fuck are you doing?"
Louis inhales. Not him again, "Can you leave me alone? I don't feel well, you only make it worse."
Harry stares at him, "Did you have a panic attack?"
"Do you have an issue to your hearing? Can you fuck off?"
"Shut up Louis." Harry grumbles and sits down beside him. His eyes are hollow, "I just saw Niall throw up over a spray painting of Donald Trump. I don't feel well either."
"You were having a freak out in there, weren't you?" Louis whispered, "That's why you dropped the glass."
Harry shrugged, "I was going to go home. I felt like I was going to pass out."
Louis felt the word on the tip of his tongue. The one he was too fucking stubborn to say. The one he had never been able to say.
"I guess you haven't changed too much."
"I guess you're still an asshole."
Louis kicked a bunch of rotting leaves out of the gutter. "Yeah. I am."
Harry looked at Louis out of the corner of his eye. "I can call you a cab if you want."
Louis frowned, "No. I'll walk." He stumbles onto his feet. Harry looked up at him.
"Still can't accept help?"
"No. Still broke too."
The corners of Harry's lips twitched into a ghost of a smile. "Of course you are."
"Well don't sound so surprised."
Harry smiles properly this time. "I know you, Louis, you can't save money to save your life."
But you don't know me. Not anymore.
Louis looked down at Harry's longer curls, the way they fell delicately over his shoulders and collarbone. His black jeans tight on his hips. His shirt was a floral pattern and slightly unbuttoned. Harry stood and Louis realised Harry was taller. What the fuck.
"Were you looking to get laid tonight or do you usually dress like that?" Louis said, a fire burning somewhere in his stomach. Harry made him so angry.
Harry's eyes trailed up from Louis' shoes to his face. He clasped his hands behind his back. "Were you?"
Louis bit his tongue. The fire burned whatever was flying around in there. He shouldn't have had that beer. "I'm going to go now."
Harry laughed without humour, "That sounds familiar."
Louis' jaw tensed but he doesn't move an inch. "I hope you get run over."
"I hope you get robbed in an alley."
"I hope you fail your finals and never get employed"
"I hope your family disowns you."
Louis scrunches up his nose. "Too far."
Harry smiles coyly, "I assume your mum still hates me." Louis thinks about how she yelled at Louis for what he did.
"No. She hates me more I think."
"I don't believe Jay is able to hate anybody. It's not in her nature."
Louis almost allows himself to smile but holds it back. He doesn't understand why he can't just step away. But gravity holds him less than a meter away from Harry Fucking Styles.
"I should go." He says, his voice weirdly hollow to his own ears, as if he wasn't himself at all. As if he was watching himself speak. His eyes are locked on Harry's but he watches as Harry swallows and his eyes follow it down his throat.
"Yeah." Harry breathes, "Bye." Louis can only try not to faint as his feet turn without a command from his brain and he starts walking away. He forces himself not to turn around and apoligise. He fights the urge to glance back and see if Harry's still there. Because if he is Louis was sure his knees would give in then and there.
He blinks the cloud over his brain away and walks faster, but as he's turning the corner he catches Harry in the corner of his eye, still watching Louis walk away.
**
"He's a stupid man with stupid long fucking hair and stupid eyes and a stupid face and a stupid height and a stupid smile and a stupid laugh and a-"
"Is he stupidly attractive too?"
"-stupid personality and stupid clothes."
Lottie glances up from her coffee, watching Louis kick the football aggressively into the goal. He stops and grasps his hair in frustration, pursing his lips.
"You know," She sighs into her drink, "I came to check on you because I know you get anxious about football training, not to hear about Harry."
"Don't say his name. He doesn't deserve it."
Lottie raises her eyebrows, "A few years ago I heard you dirty talking his name, Lou, you can't unhear that trauma. I'll say it if I want to say it."
"Oh my God," Louis groans and collapses on the bleacher beside her, "Don't even. Please."
"Does remembering him in bed make you hate him less?"
"No." Louis glances at her, seeing she's holding back a giggle, black beanie over her blonde waves, "Oh, shut up. Mum would not approve of you speaking like this."
"Louis, please, mum heard everything too. Also, I tell mum everything she's well aware of everything I know."
"Ew," Louis pushes her playfully, "Ew, ew, ew. Get away from me." Lottie cackles and stands, sipping her coffee.
"So, training starts tomorrow?"
Louis exhales slowly, "Yeah." He stands and walks over to his duffel bag. He picks it up and swings it over his shoulder, "Come on, I'll buy you a sandwich."
Lottie shrugged and pulls down her beanie. They start walking across the damp oval and make light banter. Heading back to Louis' apartment via the bakery to get a sandwich, Lottie teases Louis about how Harry used to work in their local bakery and Louis tells her to shut up.
They reach the apartment and Lottie kicks an empty beer bottle off the couch as she lays down. Louis walks into his room and changes into sweatpants. He walks out into the kitchen with a packet of smokes.
"Fuck me," She sighs, "Louis this place is so bland, you need some decorations." She smirks, "I'll get mum to send you some photos to hang up."
"Oh no you won't," Louis calls from the kitchen, "You'll just send photos of me and the idiot and I won't have those."
"You mean you don't want those."
"Same shit," Louis mumbles and lights a cigarette.
Louis shoves Lottie's feet out of the way just as a knock on the door. Louis sighs and stands, wandering over. He takes a drag of his smoke and unlocks the door.
"Hey," Harry says. Lottie squeaks from the couch. Louis glanced at her and then at Harry.
He looks way too good today. His hair is curled around his neck and his navy hoodie looks so perfect Louis' heart stops beating.
"Hello..." Louis trails off, "What are you..." He goes silent as Lottie walks over. Harry stares at her.
"Hey Harry." She says in disbelief.
"Hi." Harry says, eyes as wide as saucers. There's clearly one thought running through Harry's mind: Fuck.
Louis blinks at his sister. "Yeah I'm not talking to him when you're here." He says and she opens her mouth to complain but he steps out and closes the door behind him. Harry takes a step back and clears his throat, holding out a scarf.
"Um, apparently you left this in class and Niall forgot to give it to you last night."
Louis looks at it and takes it from Harry's hand. "Um, thanks. Why didn't Niall bring it over?"
Harry's face goes pink. "He's really hung over."
"Oh."
Harry nods almost shyly, "Um, I should go." He mutters and starts to walk away.
"Wait!" Louis calls, "How did you know where I lived?"
Harry turns and shoves his hands in his pockets, "Niall told me. He found it on Facebook or something, I don't know."
Louis frowned. His address was on Facebook? "Oh, okay. Um, see you later."
Harry smirked, "Hopefully not."
When Louis walked inside Lottie acted like her ear wasn't to the door and like it had never happened.
Louis acted like the butterflies in his stomach were getting burned by acid and we're all dead.
What a weird interaction.
**
wassup my bros and hoes.
I feel depressed so here's another chapter
Hope its okay next chapter will be a past chapter and I'm soooo excited for it cos it broke my heart <3
I'm sick and my throats sore and I'm sad cos my crush 100000% doesn't like me back and my friends all have better love lives then me and I'm listening to Harry's unreleased stuff its legit so sad omg.
Anyway I feel like shit so I'm gonna publish this and have an internal breakdown and watch chaotic Larry compilations on YouTube and force myself to believe I'm fine.
I'm way too open on this app it needs to stop fr.
until next time xxx
PS: this is how I'm imagining them in present tense:
I'll add photos for past tense when I get to their relationship as well if I remember.
<3