Nila.
What a beautiful apt name. She was indeed the moon personified, shining against the black and grey world boldly. Somehow she was the only thing you could see, capturing attention like she was born to do it. There was something about her that Vijay couldn't shake off. Maybe it was her eyes or her hair that gleamed bronze under the sunlight. Or was it the rare smile that graced her lips when she scrolled through her phone?
He was a fucking goner. And it felt wrong to be so enamoured by a person in so little time. It felt illegal. But it made him feel alive. So alive that he could compare it with the feeling when he was whizzing through air, running against the push of wind.
She got on the bus today with a messy bun that was staggering to the left side like it was being weighed down. Her eyes lacked eyeliner and she had no water bottle on her that usually peeked from her tote bag. Nila was dishevelled, out of order as she asked for a ticket. As soon as she got her ticket, she rolled it like she would a joint and tucked it through her ring so that it held against her finger and wouldn't slip away.
Vijay had caught her doing that quite a few times. He thought it was a clever idea because he always tended to lose his ticket. Officials rarely checked for a ticket but once Vijay had been forced to get down at the stop after his because some government worker was stationed at his stop, asking people to show their ticket when they got down. He suspected Nila would have gone through something like that too because she was always careful with that scrap of a paper. If she didn't tuck it under her ring, she would fist it and never let go.
Nila's blue and white printed shirt hung loose around her frame, the material flowing at her waist along with the wind. She looped one arm around the railing and the other was holding her phone, her eyes glued to it. Her pinkish brown-tinted lips moved. For a second, he wondered if she was talking to someone on earphones but then again, Nila never carried earphones. When she looked away from her phone and mumbled again, he realised she was reciting things from her phone.
Nila was studying.
She must have probably pulled an all-nighter if the exhaustion in her eyes was any indication. But the undeniable fact was that she was so beautiful. Sleeplessness and messy hair didn't stand a chance against her beauty.
Nila must have felt eyes on her because she looked up from her phone and stared towards his side. Vijay wasn't quick enough. They made eye contact. His heartbeat drummed against his chest.
He smiled at her and she returned the smile. Vijay didn't know what to do next so he just tipped his chin in acknowledgment and turned his gaze to the advertisement for heartburn medication stuck on the window.
In retrospection, Vijay felt like he should have done something more. Maybe he should have waved. Or mouthed a good luck since she had no chance of hearing him with the distance between them. But what would she think if he told her good luck out of nowhere? Would she get to know that he was watching her and diligently picking up each little piece of detail she dropped about herself? That would come off as stalkerish.
Maybe it was good that he hadn't said anything.
When he glanced her way, she quickly looked back to her phone. Was she watching him? Was she expecting him to say something? Or was she trying to say something?
Vijay was driving himself insane.
He ran a hand through his hair. He was never like this. Vijay was a people-person. He struck conversations like it was the easiest part of his day. He thrived on conversations.
But with her, everything was wrong. Nothing about him was the same.
She made him stutter and fumble like a fucking fool. Even Krish would do a better job. And that was saying something.
So, what was going on? What the fuck was happening?
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"Where's Krish?"
"Private tuition," Farah said, eating her soggy potato fingers that her mother had packed for her. Unlike the two boys, Farah always brought lunch but she rarely ate it. If Krish didn't use his lunch breaks teaching a 15 year old girl maths over video call, Vijay and him would be fighting over Farah's lunch.
Farah's mother loved cooking. She was an experimental cook. She whipped up new dishes everyday for them to try and Vijay and Krish volunteered as honoured scapegoats because they knew the food will be non-vegetarian and scrumptious. Farah was non-enthusiastic about it because it was an everyday occurrence for her.
Vijay speared a piece of prawn wearing a shiny coat of some kind of sauce. He put in his mouth only to moan inwardly when flavours of lemon and honey hit his tongue followed by the juicy tender prawn. Even though it wasn't hot, it was so good.
"11 out of 10. This dish goes to the book of hits," Vijay said as he shoved garlic rice into his mouth.
"Message will be delivered," Farah said absent-mindedly. She was scrolling through her phone. Vijay pushed the box towards her, tipping his chin at her to eat. But she shook her head. "I had a smoothie in between classes. Ma doesn't understand that smoothies are heavy enough to equal a meal. She wants me to have that and lunch."
Vijay shrugged and pulled the box to himself. As he emptied the box, he could feel Farah watching him with a smile.
"Why are you staring at me?"
"You seem awfully distracted the past week. I was waiting for you to come talk to me about it but you don't seem like you will," she said. "I'm too curious."
It had been a week since Vijay and Nila last spoke. He had seen her everyday on the bus, except for Wednesday, but they didn't talk at all. Smiles and tiny waves but nothing more. It was awkward as hell but he desperately wanted to talk to her. She'd been studying in the mornings and he hadn't wanted to disturb her. He didn't get a chance to talk to her in the evening because she never took the bus. She probably went home early after her exams.
Or was that his excuse for being a coward?
Vijay pressed his eyes close and then ran a hand through his hair. "It's, uh, a girl I met —"
"Oh my god. You have a crush!"
"Farah, first hear me out. And don't let the whole world know please," he said, already regretting opening up. She was attracting a lot of attention.
"Okay, tell me, tell me." He could tell that she was trying to lower her voice but it didn't quite work.
So he told her. Everything. From the first time he saw Nila to the last time he saw her.
Farah had a grin plastered on her face the whole time.
"So her name is Nila. Where does she go?"
"I don't know."
"You said she had exams and I only know two colleges that had exams last week. If she takes the bus you're taking, then it's probably Victoria." This was the perks of having friends in all the colleges in the city. You knew what was happening in each college. Thank God he had a friend like Farah.
"Victoria is a co-ed college. What if she had a boyfriend already?" she asked. "Or someone from her undergrad? Or what if she had a high school sweetheart?"
Vijay had thought of it. So many times. Hell, he wasn't even sure he'd ask her out anytime but the thought of her having a boyfriend made his stomach do a slow roll. He didn't like the idea.
"Let's decide to live in delusion as always and assume she doesn't have a boyfriend. How does that sound?" he asked.
Farah tilted her head to look at him and then smiled.
"What?"
"I didn't know you had this side in you. Very adorable."
He swatted her elbow. "Not a word about this to Krish. He'll make fun of me forever."
"I don't get why boys think being in love is 'fun-making' material. It takes a lot of guts to fall in love, you know?"
Vijay rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we go back to Nila?"
"You can't stop thinking about your girl for even a second, huh?"
"She's not my girl." Vijay wouldn't lie and say that it didn't sound like a dream though.
"Okay, do you have her picture?"
"Of course not," Vijay said. "The last time I spoke to her was when I got to know her name."
Farah chuckled. "Okay, chill. Let me try searching on Instagram. If I find her, you send her a request. Begin with a text. See how it goes. Get to know if she has a boyfriend."
Vijay frowned. "If I send her a request, she'll know I was actively trying to find her account. It would be too stalkerish."
She sighed. "First, let's try to find her account. There are so many Nilas in this world."
Vijay went back to his food, aimlessly stuffing the rice and prawn inside his mouth. Food had suddenly lost interest when it competed against the matters of a certain woman.
He didn't think Farah would find Nila's account. As she pointed out, it was too difficult. Nila was a common name.
That's why he couldn't believe it when Farah squealed and drummed the table, looking at Vijay with a glint in her eyes.
"What? Did you find her?"
"With the elaborate descriptions you gave, I think this is her." She pushed her phone towards him. He looked at it, half-expecting to find the wrong person and the other half hoping it was her because he knew Farah was too good at this game.
And it was.
"How—"
"Easy. You know I have a friend in Victoria, right? From her account, I tracked down the college account. Usually, everyone follows their college account. So, from there—" Farah went on to explain but her words fell deaf against his ears.
He stared at her profile picture.
Nila was smiling at him, her head tilted to the side as she sat on a set of stairs in a warli-art printed saree. He couldn't tell the shade of the saree because the photo was edited to be black and white. One jhumka peeked from the curtain of her hair, which was much shorter in the picture than the length she had now. A familiar stroke of eyeliner lined her eyes. As if the icing on top, her bindi tied in her features beautifully. Her hands looped around her knees as her eyes gleamed with something rare, something so powerful that made his breath catch.
And only then he realised, even in black and white, Nila managed to steal his breath away.
He shouldn't be surprised.
After all, that's exactly what the moon did.
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