It iss edited, but idk, I may have missed a few parts...
Louis' POV:
Is it stupid of me to be envious of my two best friends being in a good and healthy relationship? Sure, I'm happy for them, and they totally deserve each other. But I can't help that tingly jealous feeling whenever they get all close and comfy or even touchy. Now, it's not that I want one of them, but I'm lonely.
Liam's a literal chocolate Labrador puppy while Zayn's a creepy black cat. They are absolutely made for each other.
I've been in relationships before. Good ones. But they were never what I've been looking for, what I need. Well, sure, it all comes down to one simple thing. I'm basically in love with this one idiot, who quite literally wants my head on a stick, hoisted in his front yard.
Harry Fucking Styles.
He's in my football team. A bloody good player, but a massive pain in my arse sometimes. Though, he's so fucking gorgeous, I can't get him out of my head. His voice is so beautiful and just... so perfect. And his muscles... god... I'm sure he'd be able to hold my up against the wall and fuck me, effortlessly. But he won't. He hates me.
There's no apparent reason why we don't get along. Or why he hates me. It's not that I dislike him, but I always just opt to match his actions and feelings towards me. Either that, or I bend down in front of him and beg for his cock. Not litterally though...
"Earth to Louis!" Zayn called out.
"Huh? I'm sorry what?" I asked, blinking to get my eyes focused on my best friend.
"I asked if you're going to the party tomorrow night?" I sigh.
"I guess. I mean it's not like I have much better to do." Zayn shrugs his shoulders.
"Maybe get laid while you're at jt as well. It's been so long, I swear you've gone back to being a virgin again." Liam snickers at his boyfriend's comment.
"Haha, very fucking funny. I decided to save myself for marriage." I say sarcasticallyand roll my eyes.
"Oh, brighten up, Lou." Liam smiles sincerely.
"No. I had a fuck-buddy. But he just suddenly decided to call it quits. Now I'm left with only my hand." I grumble the words, sulking into my chair.
"Maybe try investing in a dildo. Or I'll give you mine that I don't use anymore." I grimace at Liam's words. Zayn also seems to think his boyfriend has gone made, judging by the look on his face.
"No, thank you. I'm good." I smile and pull out my phone from my pocket to play some games for the rest of our free period.
At football practice, I decided to try my luck with Mickeal. As I walk up to him, I can see his eyes flicking to one place, but I just ignore it.
"Hey." I say smiling.
"Hey Louis... uhm... yeah?" He seems uncomfortable with my presence, eyes still going back to that same place. But I still ignore it.
"So uhm, I know you said we're not gonna fuck around anymore, but I was thinking maybe one last time? For old times' sake?" His face went pale.
"I- uh... no. No. Nope. I can't. " He stampers over his words, eyes trailing back to that same spot behind me.
"What? Why? Did I do something?" He shrugs, not meeting my eyes.
"Uhm.. Louid, maybe just... leave me alone?" He seems unsure of his own words. He looks behind me again. This time, I turn around to look and see Harry staring holes into me. Really? I hadn't even said a word to him this whole football practice.
"Sure thing, Mike." I sigh in annoyance and walk away from the lad. I'll just get laud at the party. Easy.
I'm sitting on a window-pane, snkgging this random college bloke. I don't even remember his name, but I do know that he's a very good kisser. I pull away to catch some air, looking around at the people surrounding us. My eyes land on Harry. He's staring at us, band clutching a red plastic cup. He doesn't seem to be looking at me, but rather the college bloke I've been snogging. I've San Harry angry and annoyed before, but now he looks murderous.
Do they know each other? Surely not.
He meets my eyes, a chest rising and falling as he huffs his air in and out. This is so bloody uncomfortable.
"D'you wanna get out of here? Maybe find a room or something?" I say loudly over the music. The bloke smirks, agreeing to my proposal.
He leads me outside to the garden shed out back. He picks me up onto the wooden table standing against the wall and connects our lips in a quick and heated kiss. His hands travel over my clothed body, soon slipping under my shirt.
As our kiss gets heated, he accidentally bites into my lower lip, drawing blood.
"Ow, fuck." I pull back and touch my lip to see blood on my finger. Our lips connect again, but this time he's fiddling with the button of my jeans. My lips stings, making the kiss uncomfortable. "Ow, wait. Hold on." I gently push his body back.
"No, come on, I wanna fuck you, baby." He whined in my ear, biting at my bottom lip again.
"Ow, dude, for real?" I asked a bit annoyed. He shrugged, unzipping my jeans.
"Get lost." I hear a familiar voice say. My heart nearly drops to my stomach. What the fuck is Harry doing here? The guy turns around.
"What?"
"I said get lost. You. Fuck off." Harry says, voice getting louder as he speaks.
"No, man what the fuck? You know him?" I nod in response to his question. "Nah, I don't want drama." And he leaves. Without another word.
I take a few deel breaths with my eyes closed.
"What the fuck, Harry!?" I exclaim.
"He was hurting you." He says blandly.
"No, he wasn't. Fucking hell! I didn't do anything to you! You've no right to ruin my chances of getting laid!" I feel Lome I'm fuming with anger.
"Your lip is bleeding."
"Because accidents happen!" I exclaim, throwing my hands in the air. With that I push past him to go back inside the house.
I find another stranger, I don't even know where he's from. But I can tell by the way he kisses, I'm not going to get what I want. After a while I get bored and just leave him be, which he doesn't even notice in his drunken state.
I bump into Joshua. He's homeschooling, but we know each other through parties like these. I smile at him, deciding to try my luck.
"I'm sorry Louis. But I was kind of.. told off by your friend or whoever the guy is. Said I should stay the fuck sway." He tells me. What the fuck? I huff out annoyed.
"Who said that?" I asked angrily.
"That Harold guy. Or was it Harry? I'm not sure, but he told me to stay away from you or there'd be consequences." Joshua shrugged, taking a swig from whatever was in his cup. "I mean, it's not like I really mind it, though. But I don't wanna upset your man by sleeping with you, you know? Shame..." I feel the danger bubbling inside me. What the fuck!? Why did Harry do this!?
He probably did the same with Micheal. It would explain why the lad kept looking at Harry when I spoke to him. I groan in frustration, deciding to go look for Harry. I push past the people as I move through each room on the bottom floor, not finding him. I decide to go check outside.
I find him leaning against the shed, smoking a cigarette.
"What the fuck is wrong with you!?" He raises his eyebrows at me, shruggs and takes another drag of his cigarette.
"You smoke too, princess."
"No, that is not what I mean." My ball my hands into fists. "Why the fuck do you think it's any of your business to tell people to leave me alone? And threatening them? Joshua, Michael, this other guy?" He rolls his eyes and shrugs. "Do you want me to be alone? Is that what you want?" I pull the cigarette out of his mouth and step into his bubble, nose nearly touching his. He lets out a sigh.
"I wasn't done with that." He grits out.
"Well I'm not done either give me a bloody answer." I snap back, giving a light punch to his shoulder. That sets him off as he grabs my arms just above my elbows and flips our position to slam my back against the shed wall. "What're you going to do, huh? Hit me?" I stare daringly into his eyes. What happens next, catches me so off guard I nearly forget what lead to this moment.
He kisses me. Hard and rough, hand moving to my jaw to told my head up to a better angle. He pushed against me, thigh rubbing against my groin, making me moan and close my eyes. He takes the opportunity to push his tongue past my lips. But just as it gets good, he pushed himself away, using the wall behind me as leverage. My eyes are still closed, lips tingling satisfyingly.
"What was that..?" I ask soft. He stepped closer again, eyes burning through me with anger.
"No one. No one touches you." He grits out. "Do you hear me?" He growls out. I gulp and give a tight nod, too scared to speak. I don't think I'd be able to form any sentences. "Good now fuck off." He takes a step back.
I walk away quickly. I cam feel his eyes still trained on me. Like a falcon watching a mouse, nothing goes missed. I turn back, seeing Harry light another cigarette.
He's never done something like this. It's normally just insults thrown at each other and dirty looks. But he's never touched me like that. What's even more unexplainable is that he kissed me. And his words...
No one touches you.
I don't know what to make of it at all...
I decided to head home. I didn't want to be there at the party anymore. Besides, walking around looking for a fuck, that I am obviously not going to get, is pointless.
I sneak in, careful not to wake anyone. I tip toe up the stairs and into my room, finding my dog Clifford on his matress in the corner. I quickly undress so I can get into bed and sleep the night off.
It's Monday morning, first period. As I walk into my first period classroom, my eyes find Harry's. My stomach does nervous flips. Partly because he's hot as fuck and partly because I'm actually a bit scared. His eyes follow me to my seat. He sits a few seats behind me. I can feel his eyes boring into my back.
After the bell rings, I head to the bathroom to take a piss. I leave my bag outside. As I near the urinal, I unzip my uniform pant and pull down my boxer just a bit to take out my dick and take a wee. I hear someone else come in, but I ignore it. I hear him stop. I glance back over my shoulder to see Harry there, in the middle of the bathroom.
"Oh, fuck me sideways." I mumble. I quickly finish up, putting my bits back and doing my pants up. "What do you want, Harry?" I ask, walking over to the basin to wash my hands.
"Where'd you go?" He ignores my question.
"Home. To have a wank." I lied. "Because someone can't handle me getting some when he doesn't." I say targeting him with my words.
"Mmm, yeah. Right." He says sarcastically, nodding in mock agreement. I walk over to him, stopping about a meter away.
"Why?" I ask with a shrug. "Why'd you do it?"
"What part?" He didn't meet my eyes. For once he seemed to be smaller. Around my size actually.
"For one, whyd you tell people to leave me alone? Or no, threaten them! To leave me alone?" I raised my brows. "Why'd you kiss me? And why'd you tell me that 'no one touches me'?" I am swinging my hands around with each question at this point. He smiled small.
"No comment." He shrugs.
"No! Not 'no comment', what the fuck is your issue? I get that you fucking hate me, for no reason, may I add, but what the fuck!?" I am getting angry.
"I don't hate you." He says blandly.
"What's your problem then? Overall I mean?"
"You... annoy me." Harry shrugs again.
"I don't do shit to you!"
"Yeah, no shit. But you're so fucking attractive, it's bloody annoying!" He exclaims. I take a step back. Oh. I just stare at him. Shocked. "I want you. To myself. You're mine. And I can't -" He pinches the bridge of his nose.
"Why are you the way you are to me then?" He scoffs, looking away.
"Because I don't want to want you. You're a boy." Now he seems even small than I am. "I can't help it. But I - fuck, I can't even get my head around it." His voice is softer now. "I'm not gay." Now he looks at me, dead in the eyes.
"Well, clearly, you're not straight. Harry, you can't hide from yourself." I say sympathetically.
"I- you don't understand." His eyes are filling with tears. "My father would kill me." He's shaking now, tears falling down his face uncontrollably. I quickly walk past him to close the main bathroom door. I walk over to him and pull him into a stall, making him sit on the closed toilet before I close the door and lock it. He is fiddling with his hands, picking at the loose skin around his nails.
"Harry, look at me." He carefully looks up at me, eyes red and teary. I've never seen him this way before. So vulnerable and helpless. "There is nothing wrong with being gay -"
"I'm not." He denies quick.
"Harry -"
"I'm really not." He wipes the snot from his nose and smears it on his uniform pants. I take a piece of toilet paper and start to clean it off.
"But there's nothing wrong with wanting boys. Or girls. Or both." I say, throwing the snot covered toilet paper on the ground. We don't have bins in the stalls.
"Only you, Louis." He whispers, so soft I almost don't hear it. "I can't even get it up with girls. Or... any other boys." The way he says 'boy' like he resents the word. "I've... tried." I frown deeply, bending my knees so I am about his level.
"So you hate me because you... like me?" I ask carefully.
"No." I raise my eyebrows. "I guess so, yeah." He mumbles, not meeting my eyes. I sigh, unsure of what to do.
"I like you, Harry." Now he frowns at me, a small grimace on his lips. "Fuck, I've been liking you since we started school together. You've been my first and only crush ever. And I'm gay, so I don't need to specify wither it's a boy-crush or a girl-crush." I chuckle. "Sure I've slept with boys. And men, twice my age. But I've always liked you. Even when you were being mean. Because I saw how you interacted with other people and that made my tummy go all warm and fuzzy. And fuck, looking at you makes me go crazy. I never knew why you hated me so much though. But I still... liked you." He sniffs, wiping his snot with his hand again. I tool his arm and with my other hand a piece of toilet paper to wipe it off. "You're fucking gross, man." He chuckles.
"I've felt this way about you as well... but I just... I can't like a boy."
"You can. It's a matter of wanting to and not wanting to, Harry. And you keep denying to yourself that this is what you want." He nods in response. We're both quiet a moment as I wait for him to say something.
"I had sex with this guy named James." I feel a pang of jealousy hitting me, but I hide it with a small smile. "It was... different, than with girls. His whole body, and... down there. It's so, different. It felt so right, but so wrong at the same time..." He gulps, eyes wandering. "But then I remembered seeing you in the showers in the locker room. You don't look like that, you're - different. I imagined what you'd feel like, what you'd sound like..." He looks up at me, eyes filled with something I can't explain. "You look soft. When I tackle you at practice. I can feel how soft you are. You're not... boney like he was. Your voice isn't hard and rough like his was." He takes a deep breath, eyes scanning my face. "I'm sorry."
"No, no... it's... sweet, I guess. Go on."
"I... came to the thought of you." He seems to cringe at his won words. "Saying your name... I felt so ashamed." He covers his face with his hands, cring even more. "But he was so, so nice about it. And I told him. I told him everything. I told him about you." I smiled, feeling warm inside of my tummy. "He told me I should talk to you, and tell you how I feel, but... I can't so that." He breathed the last part, shaking his head - no. "And when I found out you and Micheal had a thing, I completely lost it. Especially when he talked about it. About having something I so desperately wanted but could not have. I didn't know what else to do."
"Oh, Harry..." I brushed his loose locks of hair out of his face.
"And then that Joshua lad, when I say you leave with him at a party once, I felt so angry. The moment you left, I just -" My eyes nearly fall out of my head.
"Did you hit him!?"
"No! I - I told him I would though. And... I'm so sorry, Louis." He starts to sob into his hands, body shaking erratically. I get up, pulling him against my body. His arms wrap around my waist so tightly it almost hurts.
"Shhh, it's ok. I'm here, Harry. I'm here." I allow him to sob into my grey school shirt, snot, and tears soaking into the fabric. "You're ok, it's ok." I run my fingers through his hair, trying my best to soothe him. I feel so useless.
After a few minutes, he calms down a bit, taking big gasps of air, but he's not crying anymore, at least. I play with the curled hair's at the base of his neck, touching him as gently as I can. He pulls away when he feels like it.
"Please forgive me for all I've said and done to you." He pleads with a soft voice.
"I already have, Harry." I push the hair out of his face. "You just need to forgive yourself for being, well, not straight. Allow yourself to feel what you feel without feeling bad about it." He nods, pressing his head against my stomach again.
"I want you, Louis. I want to call you mine." He whispers.
"And I want you too, H. But I think we need to give it some time. Because I don't think you're ready for that." He nods against my body, pulling away again. He smiles up at me, eyes still a bit watery. But his smile falls when we hear the bathroom door open.
"Oi, lads! Come out!" It's a teacher. "I can see your feet under the stall door." He says. "Come out, or I'll come get you out." I unlock the stall, opening it a bit to peek at the teacher. It's our English teacher.
"Hello, Mr Rossouwe." I smile charmingly.
"Louis... you know you're not allowed to smoke at school. I'm deeply disappointed in you." He sighs with a light shake of his head.
"We're not... smoking, Sir." I blush, only now realizing how that must sound. His eyes widen.
"Oh." I grimace, looking back at Harry sitting on the toilet.
"No, not like that, Sir. I promise! We just... had things to talk about." He nods, not really looking convinced. "H, come on." I say, reaching out my hand to him. He takes my hand and allows me to lead him out of the stall.
"Harry? My god, boy, what's happened?" Mr Rossouwe looks at Harry with sad eyes.
"Nothing, Sir." I quickly say, leading Harry to the basins. "Wash your face." I whisper to him.
"Louis, I'm sorry to say, but you'll both be sitting detention. You missed a whole period and half of this one." Mr Rossouwe says apologetically.
"That's alright, Sir. But can we move it to tomorrow, please?" He looks at Harry then back at me, nodding with a small sympathetic smile.
"I'll switch with Miss Harrington as well, then. I'll go sort it out for you. But please get to class." I thank him as he leaves, going over to Harry, who's just quietly standing by the basins.
"Do you want to go home?" I ask, straightening his tie. "I'll go with you to the nurse. Well say my anal piercing scratched your dick too hard." I giggle at my joke. He scoffs, nose scrunching up in disgust.
"You seriously have an anal piercing?"
"I don't even know if that's a thing, Harry." He chuckles and allows me to take him outside. His blazer is over his bag, so he takes it to put it on before picking up his bag.
I head with him to the nurse, making up a story that he's got stomach problems and he needs to go home seriously.
"Thank you, for everything, Louis." He whispers to me, pulling me into an unexpected hug.
"Anytime, H. I'm gonna go now." I feel relieved as I pull away. I smile as I turn around to leave, but he calls me.
"And Louis... remember you're mine." He whispers, loud enough for me to hear.
____
A/N:
Hope you enjoyed this one...
Requests are open♥️✨️