Standing before his front door, the weight of recent events settled heavily on your mind. The abrupt shift from the possibility of returning to Kuro to Hawks passionately kissing you against the alley wall had left you reeling. Now, he ushered you into the next phase of the program—moving in together. While it signified significant progress, anxiety still knotted your stomach. You genuinely liked him, your heart fluttering whenever he so much as glanced your way. Since dropping his asshole act, Hawks had been genuinely sweet, ensuring your comfort and safety. However, the memory of the last time you lived with someone lingered—a time when your entire life unraveled, leaving you desperately seeking to piece it back together. While Hawks had proven more agreeable than Kuro, that nagging doubt persisted. Sighing, you gripped the duffle bag Haruki had prepared, running your fingers over the strap in search of comfort.
"Welcome home," Hawks greeted softly as he opened the door for you. Peeking your head inside, you hesitated before fully stepping into the apartment. Contrary to the grandiose rumors surrounding Hawks' residence, this space appeared surprisingly normal. You blinked as you continued to make your way inside, your head on a swivel as you looked around. It really was the perfect size for a single person or perhaps even a small family. Your breath caught as you took in the simplicity. The walls were so bare, lacking any type of personal touches. It stirred an unexpected sadness within you. Did Hawks truly live like this? Haruki had mentioned the Commission keeping him busy, but was he so immersed in his hero duties that he neglected to add personal touches to his living space?
"I'm sorry it's not much," Hawks admitted, standing behind you with a sigh. "If I'm totally honest, I only recently started really living here. I used to just sleep in the office." Shocked, you turned to look at him, and he just shrugged in response. "Come on, I'll show you the bedroom. Get settled in, and then we can talk about some stuff." Despite your grimace, you knew he was right. You had a lot to talk about after everything that had happened today. He had more than likely overheard most of your conversation with Kuro, and it was only natural for him to have questions. Plus, moving into his house meant conversations about expectations and any boundaries he wanted to set.
He led you into the bedroom, groaning as he opened the door. "Hold on, I just need to clean it up for a second!" he said, blushing as feathers quickly swept past you, carrying what looked to be a small pile of laundry—some shirts and a couple of boxers. You almost laughed. Was he seriously that worried about you seeing his underwear? You'd basically seen everything already when it was straining against his pants in the—
"Okay, there we go," he said, finally moving so you could walk into the bedroom. You watched with interest as a few feathers finished making the bed before gathering the dirty sheets and flying out of the room. "I obviously wasn't expecting company," he mumbled to you, his face red. Unable to contain it any longer, you let out a small giggle.
"It's not a big deal, Hawks—"
"Keigo," he quickly interrupted, clearing his throat slightly as he looked at you. You blinked at him in confusion, and he sucked in a breath. "My name is Keigo. I figured if we are going to live together, you might want to know."
"They told me you didn't have a real name," you said, staring at him wide-eyed. Why did you ever believe that this poor man had just been named Hawks his entire life? Were you seriously that naive?
"Did they now?" he said with a frown before letting out a small sigh, nudging the carpet with his foot nervously. "I suppose they're right in a way. It's a huge secret, and we can talk about it in a bit. Just, uh, please only call me that here. Anywhere else it's Hawks, okay?" You nod, and he smiles at you. "Go ahead and take a couple of minutes; I'll go make us some tea."
With that, he slipped from the room, leaving you to your thoughts. You walked over to the bed, setting down the duffle bag with a sigh. Uncertain of where to put anything, especially since these clothes weren't even yours, you opted to throw the bag next to his nightstand, then threw yourself onto the bed with a sigh. Grabbing a pillow, you clutched it to your chest, its comforting scent—like him—offering solace as you allowed your thoughts to race about the impending conversation. You weren't sure how long you laid there, but you were snapped back to the present suddenly by something tickling your arm gently.
Glancing down, you smiled at the feather wrapping around your wrist, giggling as it tickled your skin before letting out a soft sigh as it moved to tug your shirt. "Alright, I'm coming," you whispered to it, snatching it before it could fly off. It seemed to vibrate in protest, wiggling against your fingers, and you quickly released it, laughing as you watched it quickly zip out of the room. Taking a deep breath, you stood up, preparing yourself. Everything was going to be okay; he deserved to know the truth.
You walked into the kitchen, surprised to see him already settled down at the table. "Have fun torturing my poor feather?" he asked you, and you chuckled in response.
"Couldn't help it. They're just so soft," you responded sarcastically, and he let out his own small laugh, though you didn't miss the faint blush that spread across his face. He pushed a teacup over to you as you settled across from him before letting out a soft sigh.
"So, I think honesty is the best policy now," he started, "I wasted a lot of time we could've been getting to know each other by pretending to be an asshole, so for that, I really am sorry. But I wanted to tell you that I honestly don't like cats, the winter seriously fucking sucks, and yes, it absolutely hurt my feelings that I'm not your favorite hero."
You blinked at him before you realized these were the real answers to all his questions and conversations from your very first date. You couldn't help but laugh, pausing to take a sip from your teacup. "I knew all that already. I figured out you were lying to me after your winter comment."
"Oh?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. "How?"
"Because you're a bird. It's not hard to put two and two together. I don't have a bird quirk, and I hate the cold. I can't imagine it's any better for you, especially working outside."
"Well, shit. And here I was thinking I was so convincing." He paused before letting out a long sigh. "Alright, now that I've cleared my conscience from my obviously crappy lies, we need to talk about some things. I need the truth because I can't help you or protect you fully if you lie to me or hide things."
You nodded in response, nibbling your lip nervously as he let out another small sigh before nodding himself. "Alright then, tell me about Kuro. How did you meet? What's the full story there?"
"Well," you said softly, adjusting yourself in your seat. "We met in school. We were thirteen and thought we were in love. When I turned sixteen, my parents had enough of me disappointing them, so they kicked me out–"
"At sixteen?" He asked, his eyes wide, and you gave a small nod in return.
"Yep. They wanted me to become a doctor or a lawyer, but I wanted to be an artist. I guess in the end, they were right. Art never took me anywhere except a coffee shop where I barely make ends meet."
"That's not true. You've got real talent. The painting you gave me is beautiful; it's, uh, actually hanging up in my office," he said, his cheeks turning slightly pink at the confession. You couldn't help but smile; Haruki had already told you that he'd hung it up, but hearing him call it beautiful was just about the best compliment you'd ever received.
"Thank you for that," you say, giving him a soft smile before continuing your story. "Anyway, Kuro and his family took me in. I stayed there until we broke up a few months ago. He cheated on me."
"And who is Himari?" He asked, and you shifted nervously as he looked at you with interest. "He said it at the restaurant, and then I heard him on the phone?"
You suck in a breath, your stomach twisting so hard you're impressed you hadn't retched yet. "She's my daughter." The words are little more than a whisper, and you can hear the way his feathers seem to bristle, him choking on the tea he'd just started to sip. "I had her when I was seventeen. Kuro said the condom broke, but I'm nearly certain now that was a lie."
He sucked in a breath, putting down his tea and wiping his face before sighing. "I got a copy of your medical records," he said awkwardly. "I'm sorry for not telling you, and I know it's probably overstepping, but after what I overheard at the restaurant, I needed answers. Why is your medical history blank then? I assume there are a ton of appointments that come with being pregnant."
"His parents had it erased. They didn't want the scandal that came with a teenage pregnancy, despite the fact their son did it on purpose."
He leaned back in his seat, emotions flickering across his face before he suddenly frowned. "Why does he have her and not you?"
"Because of his status, money, because he's just fucking cruel. Any of the three things, really," you said bitterly, tears welling up before you could even stop them. "When I found out he cheated on me, I finally said enough. I couldn't take it anymore. I was constantly talked down to, treated like I was nothing. He wouldn't let me take her, sued me for emergency custody with his shady lawyer friend, so of course he won." You reached up, wiping away the tears that had started to fall, sniffling slightly. "He doesn't even love her. He wanted a son, and when he found out she was a girl... he stopped attending appointments, I gave birth alone. It was horrible."
"She should be with you," Keigo said firmly, his wings moving behind him in agitation. "That fucker has no right to be raising a little girl. I've heard the way he talks to you; I can't imagine it's any different for her. A child should be with their mother. Anyone who takes a child away from a mother that loves them deserves to rot."
"So you're not mad?" You asked between sniffles, and he tilted his head, giving you a confused look.
"Why would I be mad?"
"Because I have a kid," you said with a small shrug. "It's a pretty big deal, especially if you really wanted to be together. Because if I managed to get her back, she'd live with us–"
"I do really want to be together," he said quickly, cutting you off. "So when we get her back she lives with us. I like kids; Chiyo is great. I can't promise that I'll be good at being a parent, in fact I'll probably suck at it, but I still want to help. What can I do to help you, how do we get her back?" He asked, and you could've broken down completely at his words. What the hell did you do to deserve such kindness?
"I've been trying to save up money for a lawyer. That's why I signed up for the program. They promised me once I had a baby, they'd pay–"
"No," he said, holding up a hand, and you frowned as he nibbled his lip nervously. "I guess before we finish this conversation, it's time for me to be honest about a few things too. You can't tell anyone I've told you these things, not even Haruki knows the whole story. I'm trusting you."
You nodded, and he sighed, shifting nervously as he looked at you. "I grew up in the Commission. They bought me from my mom when I was six," he said quietly, your hand coming up to your mouth in horror. "I was put through a training program that I honestly can only best describe as torture. They took my name, they took my autonomy, tried to take away all the little bird traits. They are not good people, no matter what they might have you believe. This program is not what you think it is. They don't care about my happiness or yours. They just want our children so they can replace me one day, and I won't do it."
"But you said–"
"That I'm willing to help you with Himari, yes," he said, smiling softly, "but I will not be having any kids of my own. Not while the Commission still stands. I won't condemn them to that life, and I'm sorry if that isn't what you wanted to hear."
You'd stared at each other, your stomach twisting as he avoided your gaze. If what he said was true, The Commission was no better than Kuro was, using you to pump out kids just for them to exploit. It was no wonder he'd tried so hard to get you to quit at the start of the program. Your eyes widened as everything seemed to hit you all at once, your hands trembling as you struggled to process it.
And without evening meaning to, you collapsed into tears, breaking down in front of him completely.