Two weeks had passed since the incident at the movie theater, and Hawks was growing increasingly anxious. Why had nobody reached out to him? Had he really upset her to the point that she quit and no one even bothered to inform him? Even more perplexing was why he was so bothered by that thought. It was driving him fucking insane.
Even Haruki had noticed the shift in his mood, questioning him about what was happening until he had to firmly request she return to her job and let him handle his own affairs. He felt guilty afterward, but he was just so lost in his own turmoil. He allowed these conflicting emotions to fester and boil until he couldn't take it any longer.
In a fit of frustration, he snatched his phone, found his handler's contact information, and rapidly dialed the number.
"Hawks?" Mamoru's voice answered on the final ring, and he felt a surge of irritation. Why was he acting like nothing was wrong? Every other time, he'd been pestered, prodded, and disturbed until he'd agreed to follow through with their plans. Why was this one different?
"Why am I not being hounded about planning another date?" Hawks snapped, and a silence hung in the air until Mamoru finally let out a surprised chuckle.
"Are you upset?" Mamoru teased, his amusement evident in his tone, and Hawks scowled in response.
"No," he lied, gritting his teeth. "I just want to know when I need this shit planned by so I don't get yelled at again."
"Go ahead and draft one, and I'll get it approved," Mamoru said with a sigh. "I never thought I'd see the day you were calling me about setting one of these things up. You must like her."
Mamoru's words left him sputtering, quickly trying to deny them. "A-Absolutely not! I told you I just don't want to get in trouble again."
"Ha! Haven't heard you stutter like that in a long time," his handler teased, and Hawks gritted his teeth. "Well, you have perfect timing then because I was due to call you about it today. Get it to me ASAP so we can send the information over to her." With that, the phone call ended. He sighed, pressing his head to his desk, trying to soothe the ache that had started. The last thing he needed was Mamoru reporting to the President that he was actually asking about her, but it was too late now. He had at least gotten an answer about if she was still in the program, but he had to figure out their next date.
His plan seemed to be working okay so far. He knew he'd managed to upset her the last two times, but it hadn't been enough. Maybe it was finally time to do something that required them to talk. He needed to figure out what was driving her, and he might be able to help her without the Commission, convince her to quit the program while still getting what she wanted.
But what could he possibly do or take her to? The feeling their movie date had left him had been eating away at him, and he already knew he needed to do something to make up for it. Whatever he picked couldn't be too scary or outright horrible; he owed her something halfway decent. He bit his lip, suddenly struggling to come up with a decent idea, when he finally let out a long sigh. He was going to need help with this one.
"Haruki!" He called out, hoping she could hear him through his office door. It took a second, but she never failed him, quickly popping her head into his office.
"Yes, sir?" She asked, and he motioned for her to enter. She did so swiftly, closing the door before coming to stand across from him at his desk.
"I need a favor, and before I tell you, you cannot freak out. This is not what you think it is. It's just the Commission forcing me into something, okay?" He asked, eyeing her, and she nodded. She was one of the only people who were aware of just how much control the Commission had over him. She had been with since the day he debuted and since then, she'd been his number one support within the agency. "I need you to help me plan a date."
"Yes!" She cried out, and he narrowed his eyes at her in confusion as she danced around his office in excitement. "It's about time! I've been saying you need to get laid forever. You're too damn uptight—"
He cleared his throat, and she spun back to face him, her face flushing red as they gazed at each other. It took all his self-control not to laugh as she sucked in a breath, steadying herself before shrugging at him. "Don't pretend it's not true," she said pointedly, and he let out a small tut in response.
"It's not true. I don't need anyone. I'm just fine on my own. This is just the Commission playing mind games with me. It's not happening," he spat bitterly, and Haruki frowned at him.
"So you're just going to spend your life alone? You're not even willing to consider it?" She asked, starting to pace in front of his desk, as he watched her with interest. "Have you ever even had sex? Because it's great, I highly recommend it. I mean, you obviously haven't because if you had, you wouldn't be second-guessing this at all—"
He cleared his throat again, his face burning at her question. Was it seriously that obvious? It wasn't his fault that the Commission had kept him so busy he'd never tried it. Besides, he couldn't just have a one-night stand, not with everyone knowing who he was and his wings being a dead giveaway. It was more trouble than it was worth. A wave of embarrassment washed over him, causing him to squirm behind his desk and clench his jaw. This was the last thing he wanted to talk about with anyone, especially Haruki.
She stopped, her eyes wide as she slammed a hand over her mouth, her brain finally catching up to her mouth. They stared at each other, the atmosphere in the office unbelievably awkward before he let out a soft sigh. "A date idea, Haruki," he said, his voice strained as a sudden image of Y/N in her sunflower dress flashed through his mind. "I'll send you her profile information. Please just come up with something that isn't super fancy or serious and send it to me."
"Yes, sir," she said, heading towards the door. He furrowed his brows as he watched her hand hover over the door handle for a second before she spun back around to look at him, her eyes meeting his. He couldn't help but notice the sad look she gave him, making him want to flinch at her pity.
"I really wish you would consider going through with this for real. You deserve to be happy, Commission be damned." His heart twisted at her words, and suddenly he secretly still wished he could find that connection with someone. What must it be like to go home to someone every day, to share your worries and share a bed with someone? Would he be a good husband? Did he even want kids? Would he be able to love them like they deserved, love them like he'd never been loved?
"Thanks, Haruki," he said softly, and she turned and exited his office just as a tear slipped down his cheek. It caught him by surprise. He quickly reached up to wipe it away and stared at the wetness on his fingers with a frown. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd cried over something. What the hell was happening to him?
Thankfully, Haruki never disappointed, and within the hour, he had an email waiting for him with a list of various places and events he could take her to. He sent his sidekicks ahead so he could perch himself on a building and quickly scan the list before settling on the idea of an art museum.
Overall, it sounded like a decent idea. It was bound to be fairly boring, which meant they'd finally get a chance to have a decent conversation. Though he was still going to have to keep up his asshole routine. His moment of kindness at the movie theater was going to be a setback, so he needed to find a way to double down on his efforts while still figuring out what was driving her.
He pulled out his phone, let out a small sigh as he typed up the information, and then sent it over to the Commission for approval. But this time, he insisted on picking her up at her apartment. They would walk to the exhibit, with no need for stuffy Commission cars. He quickly stuffed his phone back in his pocket, then took to the sky, locating his sidekicks.
"Hey, guys, try to keep up!" he teased, rushing past them as they both groaned in unison.
Fortunately, the Commission was overly eager to grant his request to pick her up at her apartment, swiftly approving and making the necessary arrangements. That's how he found himself standing outside her door, his stomach twisting with anxiety as he hesitated to knock.
"Holy crap!" A voice behind him suddenly exclaimed, causing him to jump in surprise. "You're Hawks!" He turned toward the source, and his wing accidentally bumped against her door. Well that was one way to knock.
A young boy stood in front of him, no older than 11, and Hawks smiled at him, crouching down just as he heard the door to her apartment open behind him. "WOW! I can't believe you're here!" The boy whispered, and Hawks chuckled in response.
"Me either," he whispered, widening his eyes and pretending to be surprised. "But I was told someone around here was causing trouble, so I came to check on it." He said, placing a finger to his temple and tilting his head as if in deep thought. "You don't happen to know anything about it, do you?"
The boy's eyes widened, and he quickly shook his head. Hawks chuckled. "Dang, that's okay. Maybe you can keep your eyes peeled and let me know if you see something." He glanced at the boy again, smiling as he noticed the bag on his back. He quickly reached into his pocket, fishing around until he found a pen. "Can I sign your backpack for you?"
"Oh, wow! Yes, please!" The boy said, swiftly removing it from his back. Hawks had to hold back the laughter that threatened to escape him at the boy's excitement. He quickly signed it, handing it back to the boy with a smile.
"Now, you let me know if you see anything, okay?" The boy nodded, clutching the bag to his chest before running off, calling for his mom in excitement. Hawks let out one more chuckle before standing and turning back towards her door, taking in a deep breath.
He had been so focused on the exchange with the boy that he lost track of where Y/N was standing. So much so that he suddenly found himself face to face with her. It was like time stood still, their faces so close. He could feel her breath, smell her perfume again, and sense her uneven breathing as her chest pressed against his. His feathers easily informed him just how fast her heart was beating, nearly rivaling his own heart rate at that moment. Her eyes were wide, staring straight into his, and he felt absolutely mesmerized. An intrusive thought suddenly gave him the impulse to lean forward, to just brush his lips against hers.
Then, suddenly, time seemed to resume its course, and the thought passed as quickly as it had come. He jumped backward instantly, muttering under his breath, "Jesus, why the hell are you so close?" His voice was shakier than he would have liked to admit, and he felt the heat in his cheeks. She huffed, her own cheeks flushed as she crossed her arms.
"And here I was thinking just maybe you weren't a total asshole after all, but I'm obviously a horrible judge of character," she nearly snarled at him, her eyes narrowed dangerously. He chuckled in response.
"Cute, but I've been called far worse than that, Dove," he said with a smirk.
"How is it possible someone who's obviously so good with children is total trash with women?" She retorted with a frown, and he narrowed his own eyes.
"Maybe because I don't mind interacting with children, and I'm forced to interact with you?" He snapped back, the words flying out of his mouth before he could stop them. She stepped back from him, grabbed the door to the apartment, and slammed it shut in his face. He flinched at the noise, blinking at the door for a few seconds before grimacing.
"Fucking shit," he muttered under his breath, taking in a deep breath. While this interaction was exactly what he would normally be looking for, it wasn't going to help him get any information on her motivations, which meant he needed to switch up his approach quickly before this encounter went to waste.
He knocked on the door, surprised when it swung back open almost immediately. She stepped outside, her arms crossed, her gaze fixed on him with anger. This standoff lasted only a few seconds before she took a deep breath and grabbed her bag from the wall hook in her entryway. She swiftly turned, closed and locked her door, and then looked back at him. The sadness in her eyes was unmistakable, and his stomach twisted with guilt.
"Sorry..." she muttered, and he frowned. Why was she apologizing? She had done nothing but rightfully call him out on his behavior.
"No..." he said hesitantly, letting out a sigh. "No, I'm sorry. That was rude of me, and I shouldn't have said that. Let's just start over and get going, alright?"