"HIS POV"
🎵
"Rainy days.
I'm thinking about you,
What to say?..
Wish I know how to,
Find a way, right back to you,
On rainy days like,.. "
Crew staff applause.
I take off my headphones, see the director approaching me with a smile, "wonderful taehyung! Wonderful".. He claps the pats on my shoulder.
I look at the producer Haeyun when she approaches me, " congratulations taehyung! Your next music video is ready to trend on the media again"
"Do you think this simple indoor shoot is gonna blow people's minds? ", I ask, cause this is the first time I made a music video in a room with a concept that's totally different from all my previous projects.
" why not? " producer chuckles, sensing my worries, "from all your previous songs this is something new and attractive. And as always your soul tempting voice made it sound more alluring".
I smile blush brushing fingers in my back hair. Then director speaks, " taehyung! The set is ready, for this prerecorded song, the interview and a small message for fans... "
"Yeah yeah I know.. This is a live video chat on YouTube. A little touch with my fans."
"Yes... You've ten minutes before the shoot starts. " director then calls my makeup artists, "retouch his makeup in no time. Everyone! Get the cameras ready. The background music should be light this time".. And the director keeps on ordering everyone except himself. I really wish him to seal his mouth so my headache would be better.
Within ten minutes, I take juice, my makeup artists fix my makeup and hair. I sit on my seat with a beautiful background. My fans like when I don't use any green screen but natural scenes.
Director: " everyone.. Lights", lights focused "camera!! ".. Cameras on me, " and action.. "
Taking a deep breath and holding my tablet, I start,
"hey everyone! This is Kim taehyung. I'm here with a new song " Rainy days " let's start the Q/A "
I look at my tablet screen, over 60k+ viewers have joined my live session in just two minutes. I am looking at the screen for over flooding of comments exclusively filled with cringe loving stuffs and marriage proposals Aish!!. I find a genuine question.
"So the first question is someone asked me, what is the theme of this song" I look at the camera, " you guys must be confused but this is a one sided romantic song, unlike my other songs which based on the dark reality of society, youth problems, trust issues, this one is different. So wait until tomorrow morning at 11 am".
I look at the tablet screen again, "why did I suddenly choose this theme? "... This question made me laugh a little, " it's because I wanted to make something different this time, you guys always request me to sing love songs. This is my first one with love based concept. So let's see how it'll make you feel. "
Seeing screen and then cameras at the same time.
While roaming my eyes on the tablet screen I see a question, "why so sudden love song? Are you in trapped in love? " I stay silent as this question passes through my soul and I didn't dare to call out loud cause I can't answer. That rainy day when I met someone. What was that?!;. I don't know, but it left a strange feeling.
The live stream remains for 30 minutes. I answered almost all questions passing through my vision.
After being offline, I am super tired. As I get up, crew members brace the rest. And I leave the set. It's evening when I get back home.
Take off my shoes and shirt, I lay on my bed on my torso side, I'm this much tired that I sleep in no time.
....
"APPAA!!!.. APPA!! Please don't.. Don't leave me... APPA!! " those screams are echoing in my ears when I'm in my semi-conscious condition. "He's my APPAA!!.. HOW CAN HE... "
"I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU AGAIN. NEVER COME BACK IN MY LIFE AGAIN. YOU ARE DEAD FOR ME!! I hate you"
"APPA ? .SHE LEFT... HELLO EVERYONE THIS IS KIM TAEHYUNG. I don't like girls. I hate them. This is kim. BABA PLEASE DON'T GOOO!!.. DADDDD!!!"
MY EYES WIDEN AS I GET UP , the sounds were blurry in my ear but then I'm taking heavy breaths, sweat pouring on my forehead , I cover my ears with my palms, shivering, having a
panic attack, With shivering hands, I check my side drawer, take out my med, take a pill and gulp water from bottle, always on my bed side table. I let out a cold breath as I feel a little better.
It's 4: 32 am. I move my eyes from clock to the picture hanging down the clock, me and grandma here. Tears arises in my eyes as I stare at that picture for a couple of seconds.
I get up, wish I could do something to calm my soul down, I take my phone, get myself down stairs, grab a wine bottle from fridge and turn the tv on. I drink while roaming on TV.
My restless soul needs calm, even this wine isn't helping that much. I take a dizzy nap, not realizing how much time I spent like that.
After some time, my phone rings, I look at the screen. Time; 12:13 pm. It's Minho calling. I attend the call.
"Hello? " deep hoarse voice.
*congratulations! Taehyung!! You broke the internet, bro!* he seems extremely excited
"What do you mean? " completely forgot that my song was going to be uploaded at 11 am KST.
*your song, man!! It has suppressed ten million views on Spotify in just less than an hour and currently on YouTube, it got over 8 million views within one damn hour. Oh my god!! You are deadly famous, bro!!! This is the first Korean's achievement!!" He is truly very enthusiastic.
To be honest, I haven't felt anything, neither excitement nor happiness, I don't know why but I cut the call, sigh, and take my last sip of the drink.
Before I could receive any other call, I switch my phone off. Search my song on TV YouTube,
Seeing the MV and listening to my own song,
🎵
"Rainy days.
I'm thinking about you."
Snapping off, I get lost in the memory of that covered girl passing near me. "At least she left a reason for me to write a song! " chucking, " but who are you?! "
I think for a second then an idea gets up in my mind, I get up from the couch, wear my shirt, grab car keys and leave my apartment. After reaching the ground floor via the elevator, I go to the garage, take my car and make my way toward Seoul university.
I reached there in just no time cause I'm curious about getting a chance to see her again.
But why am I getting crazy to see her? I can't develop any feelings.
Wear mask immediately, seeing the rush of girls and guys in front of campus. People think that we love publicity but sometimes we just want to be like normal people. We may wander wherever we want without the fear of getting recognized.
I keep on staring at the entrance, time to time glances from the spot I saw her walking from my window. I won't step out of the car. After waiting for more than 20 minutes, I give up.
"Am I a fool? , waiting for a gurrl? Seriously taehyung!? you're an idiot, I told you not to think about any girl". I self-talk myself while reversing the gear, offending, "but because of her I got a theme ok, so don't think that I'm chasing her or going crazy after her. She wasn't that attractive. Just normal. Ok ok stop discussing her taehyung! No more discussions!!! " now defending.
< self talk is always funny if any other listens, cause one deep voice inside you is scolding yourself and the other innocent voice is defending>
With The turn back, I'm talking to myself. I take turn a u turn along with the road.
This is the road I spent my childhood, the school.. It was mine. All the giggles, laughters, flashbacks come to my mind. A smile hiding my sadness appears.
I turn my car to the school direction, park my car, wearing mask, I get out of the car and walk a little in front of the garden of school.
"What are you painting my baby? "
"I'm drawing of you, appa and me? "
"Haha is this your appa? Why did you draw his mustache when he doesn't have? "
"Mama! He has but he shaves it, I've seen tiny hair on his face"
"Haha my boy notices me a lot? "
"Your boy is your exact copy"
"But appa! one day I'll grow a mustache without hiding it from eomma"
"Haha yes you'll. My child! You'll and that day all girls will drool over your handsomeness"
"Are you teaching him your flirting skills? "
"Haha.. Yes he needs to so he can find a girl like I found you. "
I chuckle in sadness. A time when I was full, I was full... Why this universe abandoned me. I sit on the bench, lost in my thoughts.
"Excuse me, mister! You're sitting on my drawing book here". I snap back seeing a small girl, standing in front of me, wearing the school uniform,and a ponytail, her big eyes resemblance with...idk whom?, pencil colors in her hands. I look back and forth in her tiny innocent eyes.
She again speaks, " hello! Mister!! You're sitting on my drawing book " . I blink, in realization. Quickly get up and realize that truly I was sitting on her drawing book, laying on bench.
She picks up her book and sits on the bench confidently, then looks at me, "now you can sit here, I won't mind". I smile a little under my mask, she is cute.
Sitting next to her, I look at her tiny hands opening her drawing book, but when she opens it, my eyes widened in surprise, impressed by her artwork, even though she looks very young, " you drew this? "
She looks at me and nods her tiny head. "These are Simpsons, my favorite cartoons".
" Do you also watch The Simpsons? " I ask.
" so you too? " instead of replying, she asks. I simply nods. "Wow... Maa said only children watch cartoons? But you're not a child? "
I chuckle, "who said only children watch cartoons, elders can also, can't they? "
"Mmm.. Yes my unnie also watches cartoons with me, even though she is my elder"
I smile, the way she speaks represents that she is very extroverted and a good talkative person. "What is your name? "
"Romaisa yaqoob. You can call me Rumi as well". She says cutely, " what is your name, big baby? ".
I chuckle, " does my name matter, little Rumi? "
"You asked mine, i told now it's your turn"
She got an active brain, "you're right. But I'm just a big baby who watches cartoons like you"
"Doesn't your mom scold you? "
Sigh, "no she doesn't. "
"You're lucky, big baby! Because my maa scolds me when I watch too many cartoons., " she turns a page, I look at 4 Simpsons like a family, it reminds me of a drawings I used to make of my family.
"This is your mama? " I point at the pic of a big simpson lady,
She nods her head, "this is maa, unnie, me and baba, our family"
I smile, she's very innocent and pure. In her eyes, I see my younger self.
"You're a great artist, would you do a favor to me? "
She looks at me in confusion, "favor? "
"Would you like to draw me? " I ask her in a soft tone.
"How can I draw you when I haven't seen your face? "
I was about to say, when she looks at my back, her eyes lighten up and smile brightens, "unnie! " she immediately gets up and puts her book and colors in her bag, wear it, "sorry big baby! My sister has come, I've to go, tomorrow if you come, then I'll draw you, promise, bye". She shakes her hand and runs to my opposite direction.
I turn around to see her but gets surprised by seeing the same girl I saw in that rainy day. Her face is still glowing, her unique features are intriguing. And the simple gown and that head cover, why is she so alluring in that simple attire. But why do I feel like this when I hate girls,when I can't develop any emotions, when I don't trust them.
My heart skips a beat when I see that tiny girl holds the hand of that girl. They talk a little then go in the other direction, crossing the road. My eyes never leave her back until she disappears from my sight completely.
With a heavy heart, I get back in my car, thinking about her. Her and just her. How she always comes, without looking at me, she passes and always leaves. Why is she messing with my brain cells?
I look in the car mirror, seeing my eyes, " it's just a.. A mere attraction, not love!!. Ok!! don't confuse yourself....My only purpose is just get to know her and thank her for the theme of this song.. Nothing else.. " I'm explaining myself with trembling words coming out my throat, my eyes are filled with tears and fears,
" I hate love".
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
( I hate you for making me want you when I know I can't have you.)
................
💌
To all readers!
Don't forget to vote y'all and please follow me as well, till the next part, Allah Hafiz.
Your Nabi 🦋