Texting Mr.Darcy

By starfishqueen1

140 44 35

Completed short story ! If you were to get a friendship request from somebody nicknamed Mr.Darcy,you would ac... More

Friendship Request !
Who is Blertha?
Well,it's almost Spring,isn't it?
You are hurting my eyes !
I'm scared of heights,you are scared of falling.
Okay,crazy !
In a cellar. Never to be touched or opened.
So, marriage is cancelled then?
Two is better than one.
Unadded !

You are an asshole !

9 4 4
By starfishqueen1

~Next day~

Mr.Darcy: (sent image) selfie in bed with the caption "Good morning"

Me: Good morning.

Mr.Darcy: I'm off today !

Me:Any plans?

Mr.Darcy: Not yet .
Mr.Darcy: (sent image) mirror selfie.

Me: Looks like you are going out.

Mr.Darcy:(sent image)mirror selfie on changing room,with the capition "Yes/no?"

Me: What am I giving my approval on?

Mr.Darcy: The blue shirt im wearing. Should I buy it or not?

Me: It does look good on you. Fits you well.

Mr.Darcy: Do I get to see you?

Me: Why? Missed me?

Mr.Darcy: A bit yeah!

Me:(sent image) a selfie

Mr.Darcy: Now that's what I missed .Send a full body pic? Show me those curves! ❤️

Me:Are you good at taking curves?

Mr.Darcy: You mean fucking curvy girls?

Me: No !

Mr.Darcy: So what does it means?

Me: The curves in the roads.
Me:(sent image)

Me: My failed masterpiece.

Mr.Darcy: Looks good !

Me: Cool ! Because it looks like it will stay with me for awhile.

Mr.Darcy: Are you in the washroom?

Me: Yeah! Was trying to get it off with alchohol. Not really working.

Mr.Darcy: So I don't see anything, that means? 😜

Me:That means that you are not very lucky?😂

Mr.Darcy: You're not feeling generous?

Me: I'm always generous.

                                        Seen by Mr.Darcy

~Hours Later~

Mr.Darcy: (sent image) 15.000 steps

Me: That's very good.

Mr.Darcy: Not bad lol. I'm working next three days so putting these steps in haha.

Me:Did the doctor told you to do so?😂

Mr.Darcy: Hahah. No I need to get back to my olden shape.

Me:What's an olden shape?

Mr.Darcy:(sent image) his younger self.

Me: And the difference is? You were skinnier?

Mr.Darcy: Well ,yeah ! Obviously !

Me: Okay,so no bodyshaming to skinny guys, but I saw what I needed to see and you are just better now. Anyway you should still do what makes you feel best.

Mr.Darcy: Lol ! I just need to feel better, not look better .

Me: Sometimes they are related,sometimes they are not . Now that I think about it, olden you was kinda hot.

Mr.Darcy: There is more,but obviously 🖕🏿 Black middle finger.

Me: You wished !

Mr.Darcy:(sent image)

Me: Don't bring Nana into this.

Mr.Darcy:Well she knows you're doing it.

Me: Did you tell on me?

Mr.Darcy:(sent image)

Me: 🖕🏻💅💍💎

Mr.Darcy: Hahah.

~Next day~

Mr.Darcy:(sent video) documentary on how to build a cabin.

Me: Did you learn anything?

Mr.Darcy: Not everything,but some.

Me: That's something.

Mr.Darcy:I really am thinking more and more about it.However I jeed to explore more. Like. Where can I go camping etc.

Me:Hmm well,when you get a free weekend or like 2 days off in a row,why dont you try to rent a cabin for those days,and just get a taste of the experience?

Mr.Darcy: Hm ! I don't know,I will think about it. I think it's not that fun going alone ,but whatever.

Me: (sent image)

Me: I always wanted to learn how to play piano.

Mr.Darcy: Why didn't you?

Me: Well my parents weren't that enthusiastic about paying for me to learn musical instruments, and when I grew older,realized my fingers are kind of short to play it.

Mr.Darcy: Well if it's still your dream,don't give up on it. Who knows?

Me:(sent image)

Me: Do you like Tiramisu? It's delicious.

Mr.Darcy:Sometimes yeah. You seem to be killing it today haha.

Me:Hahah ,I kill it everyday 🫠😂I'm an assasin.

Mr.Darcy:That looks very nice. Are you in a hotel lobby?

Me:Yeah,I was.
Me:(sent image)


Mr.Darcy:Nice. Reminds of the film." A good woman" 😜

Me: Does it?

Mr.Darcy:Sexy girl and hotel lobbies always reminds me of prostitution. And that film was good 😜.

Me: You mean the movie" Pretty Woman" then? With Julia Roberts.

Mr.Darcy: Oh,yeah,lol ! You got it.

Me: Of course I got it.

Mr.Darcy: How much you earned? 💰

Me: Bitch please ! I'm priceless.

Mr.Darcy: So you get paid in kindness? Or gold?

Me: Diamonds !

Mr.Darcy: So,what are you doing now Miss Tiramisu?

Me: Mr.Darcy,you changed my name after all this time? How dare you !

Mr.Darcy:Well I was thinking between Miss Julia Roberts (a.k.a the Prostitute) and a dessert that I don't like, so... You're welcome!

Me: You are an asshole !

Mr.Darcy: Thank you !

                                                  Seen by me

Mr.Darcy: (sent video) him walking towards the camera,his sleeves rolled up and giving a death stare.

                                                 Seen by me

Mr.Darcy: I shot that video for you Miss Roberts !

Me: Thank you !
Me: If I lost my memory,what's the first thing you'd tell me about us?

Mr.Darcy:There's an unused vibrator in your room.
Mr.Darcy:(sent image)

Me: The essentials first. I see.

Mr.Darcy:(sents image)selfie with caption "I'm signing off."

Me: Ok.Drive safe.

Mr.Darcy: Well thank you Miss Roberts.

Me: Don't call me that. It's making me hate you more.

Mr.Darcy: Ok. Shall I call you Mrs Roberts then?

Me:No.

Mr.Darcy: What's the reason for using the adjective "more" next to the verb "hate"?

Me: In this case it comes as a warning. I'm just being reminded why I didn't like you in the first place,cause I'd started growing too soft on you.

Mr.Darcy: Well Miss Soft- welcome back to reality.

Me: Thanks. Always a pleasure being here.

Seen by Mr.Darcy

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