Helga's inner cow couldn't help but turn into beef bowls as she stalked the boy's dorm, watching both her one and only Bry-Bry chase after the utterly un-slay degenerate weeb Noah. The un-slay part was something Helga had just decided. She thought Noah had chosen her! Not Noah's gf, not Bry-Bry, but HER. Not only that, now she was super duper doubly sure that Bry-Bry wasn't into her, as she watched the explanations for calculus flowing out of his fishy lips, and his entranced eyes focused on Noah. As her Veggietale leek heart broke, seasoning the beef bowls, she felt an idea welling up inside her, growing until it spilled out of her ear canals. She let out a quick squawk before hurrying off, carrying the idea in her hot pink barbie x dracula lunchbox.
Boomquifa let out a sort of Jashriek-sigh hybrid. She thought that the new dorm arrangements would allow her to finally reunite with Laurel-Yanny. But alas, they had been separated once again, this time, not by a fence, but by howling mass of degeneratays fighting over the singular charging point. Therefore, it was rendered basically impossible for her to send Jashrieks over to Laurel-Yanny, and even more tragically, they had not a single class together throughout the entire Intelligeneratay curriculum! She released several more Jashrieks as she wandered to the library non-fiction section, thinking about all those times Laurel-Yanny had turned down her invitations, always on trips to the math classroom, or the sunglasses store. She stared into the mirror, wondering where their friendship had gone. Except it wasn't a mirror. It was The Elizabreath's greasy forehead, complete with stray hairs and eyebrows filled with a wide array of various snacks and delicacies.
"what u want huh??? Im trying to game here u monkey ahh bitch ass cunt ass motherfucker. Y u gotta be so crusty huh???? U could never understand u goofy ahh non-gamer slutty ass hoe"
Boomquifa was extremely perturbed by this sudden outburst, but she maintained her composure. "Whateth gameth is thy playething?" she inquired, blinking her eyes approximately 2.0057308 times more often, hoping to get on the same wavelength as the irritated degeneratay.
"I'm playing Minecraft u retard. Y u gotta be so demented huh?? Cant even tell what game im playing from the keys I'm tapping."
"I just wantethed to be sureth." Boomquifa replied, deciding to withhold that, in fact, most first or third person open world games would have similar controls.
"Aiyaa the only place i can charge my MacWindows surface tablet w pro max (8th edition) is in this crusty ahh library. Y this school gotta be so goofy huh???"
As she was listening to the Elizabreath rant, Boomquifa had already borrowed the two books she had been wanting to read; 'Crime and Punishment' by Fyodor Dostoevsky, and 'John Smith's 69 easy steps to getting over a cocaine addiction' by Johners Smithers. She had wanted to read her books in the library, but she was hesitant because of 2 things. One being the amount of Degeneratays that had taken over the reading corner, and the other being the lack of shirtless anime men on the cover of her newly obtained books.
Staying with the Elizabreath had already proven itself entertaining, and perhaps even educational, or dare she say, revolutionary, in the study of primates. She looked over The Elizabreaths shoulder to see her Minecraft character, which had donned a particularly edgy looking skin, running around a cave that seemed stripped of all natural resources.
"Lookie! I got 10 diamonds from just this cave. Im so rich hyukhyukhyukhyukhyuk"
Boomquifa remained silent and watched as the Elizabreath wandered through the empty cave for another 5 minutes. Then 10. Then 30. It had become abundantly clear to Boomquifa that there was nothing left to be found here. What's more, this entire cave system seemed to be within a singular Minecraft chunk.
"Doth thou not knoweth that there ist non more diamonds in the caveth?"
"HUHHHH??" The Elizabreath replied, "DAMMIT I thought this was my lucky cave. Why mojang gotta be so mean huh??? Crusty ahh mf bitch ass ugly ass dumb ass cave wasting my time"
Boomquifa scratched the bald spot on her head as she watched the Elizabreath angrily examine a bright magenta donut she had taken out of her armpit, completely disregarding the "No food or drink in the library" rule. She really was such an interesting specimen. The Elizabreath proceeded to sandwich the donut monstrosity between two rather large slices of cheese, consuming the sustenance through her eye sockets in a fit of gamer rage.
"I can inform thou on where to findeth more diamonds, if thou want."
The Elizabreath tilted her gorilla-esque head. Boomquifa had piqued her interest. She told the Elizabreath all about chunk spawn rates and the most likely biomes and depths to find diamonds in Minecraft.
After a couple hours of university level calculus and several bleeding eardrums as a result of Ms Baguette patrolling the proximity of the library, The Elizabreath had found a whopping mighty super doper loopy 2 diamonds (in the same cave).
"wOOO LESGO IM SO RICH. TAKE THAT U CRUSTY AHH BITCHLESS MOJANG"
"I-is thou not going to thanketh moi?" Boomquifa murmured, turning away and blushing slightly. She felt a heat rising to her head, making her cheeks all sticky icky with sweat.
However, the Elizabreath did not seem to hear this, as she was opening a new tab that was all to familiar to Boomquifa;
Boomquifa le gasped as she watched the Elizabreath's fat monkey hand guide the mouse cursor towards her 'Recently viewed' section. Out of all the extremely sus looking shirtless gay man manhuas, she had decided to click on perhaps the most egregious looking one. Boomquifa had more in common with the Elizabreath than she had previously estimated.
"W-what's t-thou's favourite BL?" she asked. Boomquifa's voice was soft and stuttered, but through the word BL, the Elizabreath had heard it.
"Gotta be TGCF," the Elizabreath replied, in her most bestest rizzful voice. She was NOT gonna pass up an opportunity to talk with another gay man enjoyer.
"I agree with thou's taste."
Boomquifa and the Elizabreath would then continue to talk about BL in the loudest possible voices, disturbing every Intelligente trying to study. Ms Baguette had given them multiple sponge-like glares, especially while they were discussing about the utter lack of shirtless gay men in their school. Totally rant- worthy. It was just rhidiculos. Their discussion continued until the library was about to close down, and Ms Baguette
had told everyone to leave, or they would be locked in the library and eaten by the rats. It was almost as if Boomquifa had felt... joy? Well, she was having fun, but it was something more than that. Could it be that... she was in love?
"I'm so joyous to hath found someone yond shares the same appreciation for BL as myself." Boomquifa said, warmly and sincerely.
"NAHHHH FR THOO. I can never find anyone who agrees that Hua Cheng hot asf."
Wait... did she say... Hua Cheng???? Boomquifa tried to stifle her emotions, but the words still escaped her lips.
"You sussy baka! T'is clear that Xie Lian is the more attractive male lead!"
"TF U SAYIN BITCH? WANNE REPEAT THAT? HUH???"
Boomquifa opened her crusty-lipped mouth to apologise, but no words came out. The silence in the air was heavier than Spartacus' mother after a 5-course meal. Boomquifa speed-walked away while doing the Orange Justice. What was this emotion she was feeling? It was airy, like an eyebrow pringle, yet it hung over her heart and thoughts like a multicoloured prehistoric fruit bat on a lamppost. There was no mistaking it now. She was in love with the Elizabreath.
Meanwhile, Clarence sat on her bed, about to click on the 69th episode of Skibidi toilet. Outside, Helga was searching for Noah's gf. Her devious plan was sure to make Noah, and in turn, her beloved Bry-Bry, jealous. Noah's gf blinked her horse poop brown, green, aquamarine, ruby, star orbs, pushing her long, luscious hair behind her petite shoulders. She saw Helga approaching her, on all fours.
"Did you get the message from Noah?"
Using her long, slender fingers with 10cm long crimson acrylic nails, Noah's gf checked her messenger app. And lo and behold, there was a notification from Noah.
'hey there, i think im gay'
Noah's gf released a sound not dissimilar to the Jashriek, only more piercing. Her beloved No-No wasn't straight??? She looked up, distraught, to see Helga's smirking face. Ugh. How could No-No ever fall for someone so unfashionable like that?
"I have an idea to get back at Noah"
This intrigued Noah's gf. "Go on..." Helga explained her plan, making Noah's gf recoil 21m backwards in disgust. She had to pretend to date Helga??!! But no matter how Noah's gf was repulsed by it, she had to admit, it was pretty logically sound (it wasnt). How could a mere Degeneratay come up with this? But even so, she went along with it. Time to tell everyone that she and Helga were now 'together'!