☁ Lucifer's Journal – [Gabriel]
A/N: Hi guys! This part will reveal something muwahaha and the next chapter will be intense! I'm excited to write it! The update is supposed to go tomorrow, but then I got too excited HAHAHA so I hope you guys will enjoy this ;)
Thank you so much for waiting!
And our poem/play will be about demons too! It was my idea. It also involves the 7 demon children -- I get to be Greed! Yay HAHAHAH
And I wish you guys can read this chapter properly because this chapter is realllyyy intense! And something is wrong with the spaces so I'm so sorry. I don't know how to fix it. I keep editing but ugh
So enjoy :) / unedited
I tweet sneak peeks on my twitter @NicAthena / I will update soon! :)
-athena
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Gabriel was starting to fall deep in the abyss. She wanted Malphas like no other, and when he talked about her, it was as if she made the stars, skies, sun, and moon. No one had ever regarded her that way. It made her feel powerful, reborn like a phoenix. When she was with him, everything made sense, even if it shouldn't.
Oh, and his eyes.
It was vibrant, full of color, and at the same time so dark it pulled you in until you couldn't resurface anymore.
And his sadness . . . it killed her. He was desperate for her love that she could never, ever return. But it didn't have to be like that. She could still feel for him, and maybe look at things differently.
Gabriel placed her head against his chest, wrapping an arm around his torso. His body heat said that he wouldn't be able to recover any time soon. Cain's mark would last for eternity. It stung her. Malphas didn't deserve any of this. He should be free, yet he keeps on binding himself to her. What made him love her? What was it in Gabriel that he was willing to risk himself for?
Unbidden, tears streamed down her cheeks. She had never felt this way before. So tormented. So wrong. So hurtful.
So loved.
He spoke like she was poetry, stories, and art. He caressed her body tantalizingly, in a way that made you think that everything was possible. He said her name fervently, kissing her soul in burning heat. And he pressed himself against her, as if she was the only one who could save him from all the sins he had committed.
Again, his soul flickered, the blue light illuminating hers in return. Again, their souls entangled together. Malphas's soul, however, was screaming as he pulled hers in embrace. It was his pain. Cain's mark also affected his soul, and for a moment there, she worried that his soul would disappear. But it didn't. Even though his soul was broken to pieces, it held onto her tightly, never letting her soul go. This time, her soul kissed his melancholy.
Malphas had no idea their souls were doing this. He didn't even have any idea he had a soul.
Gabriel was being cruel. She didn't say anything about this because she never believed this could happen.
But it was happening.
Their souls were burning brightly, lighting up like no other souls had done before. And when she saw that, she was in awe. It was so, so beautiful. So magnificent. So glorious.
She then turned her attention back to Malphas who was sleeping soundly. It seemed like he wasn't going to wake up anytime soon, and that was good. He should be resting. He shouldn't be exerting too much effort. But he still was. He kept on muttering her name under his breath, afraid she'd go away.
Gabriel wasn't going to leave him. His fever was making him act this way. His pain was ruining him, tearing him to pieces, and she hated it. She hated how useless she had become. She hated the fact that they were going to separate soon. In the short time she had known him, she saw how gentle he could be. True, he killed a lot of people before, and that was unforgivable but today he stopped his blood thirst. He stopped himself for her, because he knew she would hate him if he ever did something as evil as that again.
And that touched her heart.
She used to hate him for his wicked ways. She used to loathe demons. And now she was wondering if she had judged wrongly. If, perhaps, she was wrong about her perception of them, doesn't that make her hateful?
Out of nowhere, something dropped on her face. When she picked it up, her eyes widened. Malphas's soul was handing her a journal – Lucifer's journal.
His soul didn't speak; he only stared at her, igniting a fire in her, while he held her soul's hand.
It was written in something demons could never understand. One of the ancient languages was used, and Gabriel could perfectly understand. It was Lucifer's life back in Heaven, before he fell, and after he fell.
How odd.
She didn't know her used-to-be brother had a journal.
In any case, only the archangels and His Holiness could understand his writings. And what she read shocked her.
Back in the creation of everything, where Lucifer first opened his eyes . . .
I've always known.
That I will fall.
My eyes are too bright. Too angelic. Too beautiful.
I see Heaven. I see the crystalline icy drop of snow. I see the colorful trees, breathing the first scent of air, the essence of the human life.
There the other angels greet me. They are as beautiful as me. They smile at me, and I smile back at them, thinking it's only right. Our feathers are big, spread-out wide in different styles and colors. But never a black. I ask Him why we do not have black, but He only said that it would bring something we are not prepared for.
That is wrong. I am prepared for black. Black is dominant. Black is beautiful. You see stars and moon in that darkness. Why does He not like black?
He created humans in his likeness. He created everything. We are to obey his every order – absolute obedience. We only do what we are told to do, and that's it.
Every day, I see Him gazing at his creation, and I see wonder in His eyes. I always ask him why He loves them and He would simply smile, like no words could express what he feels.
And I am confused.
How could you not tell what you feel? I could always share my emotions. But He said that archangels are cold. Maybe that is why I like cold. I like blue fire. I like icy cold because it freezes everything I know. I am cold. Archangels are cold. Even Michael is cold.
One time, I approached him and said, "Michael, are you cold?"
Michael stared at me, never giving me an answer. Then I realized that Michael is the coldest of all the archangels. He likes cold, too.
The same day, an archangel is created. Unlike the rest of us, this one's a woman. Her beauty is ethereal, lasting. We gather around her, and she stares at us with the most wonderful eyes. Her hair can't decide which color it would be – it's mixing orange-red and golden brown. Her eyes are always changing colors; blue to black to yellow to brown to white to green and the list goes on. Her skin and face are flawless, not a single spot of blemish could be found. And her rosy lips are light, like she's trying to pull everyone in, but she's not even trying. Her cheeks are warm when she looks at us, as if she has no idea who we are. She's innocent, and she's not cold like Michael. She's warm, glowing, and shy.
"I'm Gabriel," she says, batting her eyes. That is how archangels awaken. They get blinded at first, then in an instant, they know why they are there.
Everyone greets her, giving her smiles. I give her a smile, too. She smiles back in return and it's dazzling, blinding us all.
A loud voice interrupted the cheery atmosphere. "She is Archangel Gabriel, and she will be your sweetest sister. Treat her well."
We did.
Every day, the angels and archangels are together, celebrating. We dance and smile and laugh and soar out to the open sky. We are wearing His gift: the white robes with purple sashes.
Michael did not join us. He's always too busy.
I go to His Holiness and ask, "Why won't Michael join us?"
"Because Michael is deigned that way. He will be your leader."
"Won't he be sad?"
"He will never feel sadness for protecting Heaven makes him happy."
He is confident that Michael is not sad. Still, I am in awe of Him. He knew them all too well. One day, I ask His Holiness again. "Why is Gabriel a woman? Why is she the only one different here?"
To that, He didn't answer for a while, until He said, "Because I cannot separate her from another soul. She is an extract of someone else's soul."
"An extract?"
"Yes, an extract of what is left."
"What do you mean by that?"
He did not answer, and I did not ask again. His answer still confuses me. I keep on coming back, forever asking him about souls.
"She will bear all the souls, for she is what's left of the divinity. I will give her the power to give rebirth and reincarnation."
I am still confused. "Why her? Why not me?"
"Because she is an extract."
I know what an extract is, but I do not know how it involves Gabriel. I then ask Gabriel about this. As usual, she shakes her head, not knowing the answer. "Absolute obedience, Lucifer. I am only doing what I am asked to do. I do not know any extracted forms."
"How do souls work?"
"That is something that cannot be explained, dear brother."
Everything confuses me. And still I persist. I visit His Holiness every passing day. I ask him about everything, and though His answers are unclear, I am fascinated with his knowledge, the supreme power he has.
And then one day, I felt something toward Him.
His Holiness realized this, and he didn't do anything.
That angers me.
"Did you not feel that?"
His voice was loud and clear. "Lucifer, I cannot return what you feel for me. I love you all equally, but these people will always come first."
And it is the first time he said the word 'love'. He loves humans. He loves mortals. I hate it. I detest it. I am always looking up at him, captivated by His Mighty words and power, and yet He will not look at me. I am His favorite because I always listen to him, but this time, I have become someone he cannot look upon. And that is fine.
"They are useless! Powerless! I am greater than them. How could you not feel me?"
"Lucifer . . ."
That is the day I revolted.
I gather a large crowd of angels, telling them that we are greater than the people. That we, the angels, are magnificent and beautiful, unlike those foolish mortals.
I am able to get a lot of angels who sided with me. They hear me. They love me. And it feels great to be loved. The Man I Once Knew could never return the love I felt for Him. Now, He must suffer. He will feel how painful it is not to be loved. I will make it sure that these so-called mortals turn away from him. They will love me, because He cannot.
I try to convince the Archangels, but their wills are stronger than I thought. They are not easily swayed, so I go to Gabriel. She is different. She might be weak.
"Gabriel, my sweet and lovely sister, join me."
Gabriel frowns. "What have you done?"
"He will not love me. I love him so much. But He will not return it to me."
Gabriel wraps her arms around me, and for a moment, I re-considered my decisions. "Oh, Lucifer, He is the Creator. He loves us too. Only differently. The people will always come first because they make him happy."
"He has not even completely created them yet. They will be wretched. This world is better off without them!" I scream. "Don't I make Him happy?"
"We make him happy, Lucifer. The love you feel . . . what is it?"
"I do not know, sister. I – I . . . I do not know what love this is. What is this strong feeling? Why do I hate Him for not loving me back? Why do I hate people?"
I understand why Gabriel is different. She's warm and glowing. She's unlike the rest of us. She's caring. "I do not know what you are talking about. But Lucifer . . . aren't you happy?"
"No."
There is a large area where everyone is present. His Holiness then told everyone that anyone could join me, and that made me happy. Heaven is crowded. Everyone is whispering. I hate the words they used. Then it was over. I am pushed out of Heaven together with the other angels. But before I fell, His Holiness said, "You shall forget about Gabriel and everything that you have learned in Heaven."
Before I could forget about Gabriel, I wondered again why He specified Gabriel. What is it about Gabriel?
"How you are fallen from heaven,O Lucifer, son of the morning!How you are cut down to the ground,You who weakened the nations! For you have said in your heart:'I will ascend into heaven,I will exalt my throne above the stars of God;I will also sit on the mount of the congregation On the farthest sides of the north; I will ascend above the heights of the clouds,I will be like the Most High.'"
And I will be like him. Soon.
My fall is painful. Excruciatingly painful I could not describe it. I do not want to remember it. I shall proceed to the day I created Hell. Those who came with me helped me. As soon as He had created the first two people, I tempted them. And from Eve's soul, I extracted Lilith. I have not completely forgotten about Gabriel. I did forget about her ability. But I did not forget about the word 'extract'.
When Lilith came out of Eve's soul, I consumed her. I wanted her. I ruined her to no end, venting my anger out of her body. From our two vile souls, demons are created.
And the rest is history.
But there is something valuable I must put in here through my native tongue.
When I indulged Lilith, the demon, Malphas, came out. He is like me; beautiful and worth glorifying, but he's got something I don't have.
He is a pure demon. He is from vengeance. He is my promised salvation. He has no divinity from him. I am worried he might take my place so I secretly inspected Heaven. I watch and watch.
I see Gabriel, and everything flashes back.
Gabriel's an extract.
Suddenly, everything makes sense. Everything that He said makes sense.
He knew this was going to happen, just as I knew that I was going to be thrown out of Heaven.
Gabriel and Malphas's souls are only one. Putting them together will set out an explosion so big not even God could handle it. Since He knows I am going to build my own army and nation, He's able to deduct that I am creating a demon that will transcend me. Back in Heaven, I didn't know I was able to extract God's soul. I had no idea I was carrying it within me. And when Lilith came out, I made sure I've put every hatred and anger and gratifying thoughts in her. What I did not know was that I have also put His extraction. If He had not created Gabriel, I could have perfected my demon son, Malphas. Unfortunately, He is the all-knowing. He prevented me from doing something that would be out of our control.
Gabriel is the goodness in Malphas. Malphas is the wickedness in Gabriel.
Together, they are powerful. Much, much powerful than Heaven and Hell.
They are an extract of His Holiness soul. They are an extract of the Creator. They are an extract of Lucifer.
And He tried to destroy Malphas, but He wasn't able to because it is not his kind of operation, and killing Malphas would also kill Gabriel.
I pulled out Malphas's soul, so he would have no idea who he really is. But once he meets her, his soul will be awakened, and their souls will entangle.
Malphas will be one of my Emperors. When the right time comes, I will bring her down. Gabriel will join him whether she likes it or not. Gabriel will love him, and everything will fall into place.
I will have my deadliest weapons:
Gabriel and Malphas.
It was love that started it all.
"And it's going to be love that will end it all," I whisper to myself.
The Creator does not love me. Rejection stings me. Hatred lives in my veins. I will claim my throne in Heaven. I will put everything in reverse. I shall try and be the God, and He will become Lucifer.