Open on an intro of letters flying towards the camera and spelling out TDWT Aftermath. The live studio audience cheered as the camera revealed a stage with two couches on it, with a table in front of the middle one. Where the right couch normally sat, there was now a table with a bunch of phones that Harold was sitting at, with a money counter above him. Geoff and Bridgette sat on the middle couch in a suit and dress respectively with the monitor already above them, Geoff for once not wearing his hat.
"Good evening! I'm Geoff, and this is my most excellent co host, Bridgette!" Geoff said.
"And we're coming to you live because we need your help to raise money for a seriously worthy cause!" Bridgette said.
"I know what you're thinking, 'huh?' Or-or maybe you're thinking, 'what?' Either way, think back to the last episode, when the Total Drama Plane crash landed in Jamaica. A tragedy."
"One that could've been averted if only they had more gas. But our host sadly had blown the show's budget on decorating his personal quarters."
"And thanks to that, unless we raise more dough for fuel, our friends still in the game could be stranded in Jamaica forever!" Geoff said as the audience gasped.
"Total Drama could be cancelled! We could be cancelled, too! Which is why, tonight, we're bringing you..."
"Total Drama the Telethon!" Geoff said ad the phone number appeared onscreen.
"The phone lines are open, so please, for the love of Total Drama, call now and donate!"
"As the resident phone master, I'll be here to take all your calls!" Harold said from his area.
"But before that, I believe you and your band have to perform?" Bridgette said.
"Oh yeah! Right!" Harold said as he put on his shades and ran over to join Trent, as well as Sasquatchankwa and an intern. Bridgette pulled out a microphone as the music began.
Bridgette: This show you need to save! This show, you gotta tell, this show! That you care!
The screen showed pictures of Noah, Owen, Tyler, Courtney, Scott, Heather, Cody, Gwen, and Jo.
Geoff: Jamaica, they're trapped down in! Jamaica, they can't even, Japarty! It's so unfair.
They monitor began to show various clips from the season.
Bridgette: You gotta help now, we're on the brink!
Geoff: The crew gets fired if this ship sinks!
Bridgette: So make a difference in their lives!
Geoff and Bridgette: Give us cash or this show dies!
Bridgette: Saaave this show! Total Drama!
Geoff: Saaave this show! You know you wanna!
Bridgette and Geoff: Save the show that you love!
Bridgette: Saaave this show! Total Drama!
Geoff: Saaave this show! So call the numbah!
Bridgette and Geoff: Save this show with love! And 500,000 dollars!
The camera changed to just Geoff's face.
Geoff: Save the show, baby. Just give it some dough. Give it some love and some dough.
The music ended as the audience cheered. Trent ran backstage and Harold ran back to his table. Just then, Blaineley walked onstage.
"That's right, you need to give us 500,000 dollars in the next half hour. Hi, I'm Blaineley Stacey Andrews O'Halloran, and I'm you're co-host!" she said.
"I'm sorry, I thought you were joining Duncan as a reporter?" Bridgette asked.
Blaineley scowled before continuing to smile, "I'm thrilled to be here tonight, co-hosting with Geoff and Bridgette."
"I thought she was going back to her old job at Celebrity Manhunt?" Harold asked.
"She tried. They said no." Geoff replied.
"I'll keep you posted on the total as your calls, and your cash, pour in. This is the number, call now! We have gifts as well!" Blaineley said.
"For a donation of just 25 dollars, you'll get a commemorative box of delicious and nutritious Total Drama Yum Yum Happy Go Time Candy Fish Tails! Strictly decorative, may not be legal in all provinces, do not eat, keep out of reach of children." Bridgette said as the screen showed a bag of Candy Fish Tails.
"And for fifty bucks, you'll get a special, commemorative Total Drama T-Shirt! Sure, it looks like a plain tee, but when you get it wet, it's a wet tee!" Geoff said as the monitor showed a shirt with a picture of Chris' face.
"If you get a busy signal, keep trying! You'll get through eventually!" Blaineley said. Despite this, Harold was not getting any calls.
"If loyal viewers like you don't start donating pronto, everyone here's gonna get canned! And for the gang in Jamaica, the nightmare truly begins!"
"Our goal tonight is 500,000 dollars, and thanks to your donations, so far, we've reached a grand total of..." Blaineley looked at the money counter, "...nothing!?"
"Oh, come on!" Geoff said before facepalming.
"Well, let's welcome our first guest and encourage her fans to call in!" Bridgette said.
she didn't recognize her own
boyfriend for six episodes
and she loves to be called her hotness
it's
lindsay hi lindsay
tell us about the gifts you've brought
for those who donate in your name
i was supposed to bring presents oh
lip gloss that's right for a donation of
100
you'll receive one of the remaining 400
tubes of lip gloss
lindsay brought to wear this season
supplies are vaguely limited so
call now look at the bones
lindsey's got a lot of fans yeah
katie and sadie are talking to each
other and harold is checking on movie
times
alien bonsai three is playing around the
corner which means our new fundraising
total is
203 and 200 of that came from harold's
mom
in exchange for his promise to clean the
garage i'm very thorough
extortion nice one bro but we've got a
long way to go people
come on you guys i need this show i mean
without it
i'm just an open-shirted chillaxer in a
suit and tie world
maybe harold's on to something would
anybody like to see an
episode of total drama fugitives
if you're interested call now we won't
show you any more until we get
10 000 in donations
[Applause]
sweet all you ezekiel and duncan fans
keep dialing they're still missing in
action
or are they 10 000 look
we just hit 10 000. first the latest
sighting of ezekiel
allegedly on the plane
how about our favorite angry punk loyal
fans have sent in hundreds more duncan
siding tips
so tonight we're gonna show you the two
best leads
if you're a duncan fan and think these
are real cast your vote with a donation
no matter how small
our first clip was sent in by a young
viewer from texas
okay that was so duncan duncan in a
jumpsuit
but my clip is for real check out
total drama fugitives italian style
that's gotta be duncan do the viewers
agree plainly
we got hundreds of calls during the
fugitive segments
and their donations have added a
whopping 100 bucks to our grand total
our next guest is bound to bring in some
cash
he loves kissing cod and uses the word
mama
60 more than the average teen it's dj
dj's here to auction off a special prize
every donation tonight earns you a
raffle ticket toward
a dinner which i will personally make
and enjoy with you
maybe we need to sweeten the deal um
dj makes you fudge for dinner and
cookies
but it's dj everyone
loves dj yeah but you know what people
love most about dj the animal stuff
jeff i haven't heard a fly since i came
home maybe your curse only applied in
the game
well let's check it's time for
dj's world of animals what
[Applause]
okay mr nibbles back to your home
all right
i gotta fly little buddy and so do you
it may have been a short season for dj
but it was a long season for the animals
and now they want their turn if you want
to see dj pet an animal
call in now
wow how'd you know that would work i
know what people like
i really don't want to do this what if
you just try petting that
little billy goat hey there little buddy
we're up to 50 000 and i know how to get
us to a hundred
beasts of the world prepare to take your
revenge
[Applause]
ah
we'll be right back i think remember
give it till it hurts
[Music]
tyler tyler they're stealing my lip
gloss
what we're on oh and
we're back live welcome back to the
telethon to end all
telethons time now to check in with
plainly for our new
total you bet jeff drum roll please
we've cracked 300 000 wow
we're almost there i'll accept that now
that the studio's trashed we need to
raise an extra 500 grand to break even
we have to reach a mill now one million
dollars
"I-I'm sure our next guest will inspire more viewers to call in! She's definitely inspired me! Please welcome our good friend, Leshawna!" Bridgette said. Leshawna smiled and waved as she walked out.
"Hey, Harold, baby!" Leshawna said as she waved to Harold. Harold immediately stood up and clapped.
"Let's see Leshawna's very unique journey to this moment!" Bridgette said.
The monitor showed a lot of Leshawna's moments, ending with Heather being slapped by Leshawna.
"LeShawna, on behalf of every competitor who's ever been hurt by Heather, thank you" The blonde girl said smiling
"Girl, you are welcome!" LeShawna said waving her hand as if it was no big deal
"How did the first slap feel?" Geoff asked
"LeShawna, on behalf of every competitor who's ever been hurt by Heather, thank you" The blonde girl said smiling
"Girl, you are welcome!" LeShawna said waving her hand as if it was no big deal
"How did the first slap feel?" Geoff asked
Leshawna: Taking out Heather was fun, don't get me wrong. But she's still in the game and I'm here! I wish I'd smacked Jo!
Bridgette: I know, she's the worst! With that evil mind and that...silky...hair...[realizes what she's saying] Ugh! Evil!
Geoff: I've gotta admit, I'm kind of relieved that I'm not the only dude whose chick went soft for the female Slappy.
Trent: The w h a t
Geoff: Jo just so happens to look a lot like Slappy the Dummy from R.L. Stine's Goosebumps series! See for yourself.
(A brief clip of the 2015 Goosebumps film plays)
Slappy: How does it feel, papa? Knowing the entire world is outside your grasp, but you can't move. You're trapped. That's what it felt like to be locked in your books!
(The clip was the same, but with one small change...)
Harold: (laughing) You put a photo of Jo over Slappy! Genius.
(The clip ends)
"Let's move on. Gifts and stuff are obviously not working and this season's Total Drama is a musical!"
"So, if you wanna hear Leshawna sing, call now!"
"I sang enough on the show, can't I just dance this time?" Leshawna asked.
"No!" everyone aside from Harold collectively said.
"Uh, just because your voice is so great! And I know we'd all love to hear what you'd say to Jo if you had the chance! Right, guys?" Bridgette said.
"Oh, uh, yeah! Definitely! Just-just sing!" Geoff said.
"N-no need to dance!" Blaineley said.
Leshawna rolled her eyes before taking a microphone as the music began.
Leshawna: You think you got me good, okay, maybe you did,
You think you rule the game, I guess.
But you don't rule a thing, 'cause baby, you're a squid!
Who's gone and made a nasty mess!
Bridgette: Yeah!
Leshawna: You lied right to my face, and messed up my head!
And ain't that just the way with people?
Not you, Harold.
I know just how to do it, oh, that bitch is goin' down!
And won't be gettin' up again!
Geoff: Yes!
Leshawna: Sisters, come together now and take her down!
Sisters, come together now and sort her out!
Sisters, come together now, make her see what we're all about, whoah-oh!
Sisters, come together now, show what's what!
Sisters, come together now, help me strut!
Sisters, come together now, make her see what we're all about!
Oh, revenge!
you'll donate if she stops well
lashawna's gonna keep dancing until you
donate
another 100 grand what no
no it's the only way please
hurry
i don't know how much longer i can keep
this up lashauna fans
call in donations so she can stop
dancing
the bigger the donations the sooner this
will end
four hundred thousand dollars you
nailed it legatus
you know it ginger baby cakes
what's the official tally update plainly
we're up to 435 000 big ones
which is less than half of our new
million dollar goal we're dead
not yet i have an idea but you're not
going to like it
if it will raise money i'm cool with it
i swear okay
Bridgette: Jo is a popular girl among our fanbase...
(Clips of Jo played)
Geoff: Even if she's a crazy serial killer...
(Jo on the dolly was shown)
Blaineley: She's evil! Love me a villainous Slappy clone.
(Jo's confessional after Bridgette's elimination was shown)
Geoff: Prepare to be shocked to discover that Jo's life is darker than you think! But before we get to the spicy lore, something out of the way.
Blaineley: [showing more footage of Jo] Check it out, Bridgette. Audience surveys showed that people loved it when you drooled all over Miss Jo!
Bridgette: I'm sorry, but I have a boyfriend. [puts a bag over her head] I'm not even looking.
Blaineley: Keep those donations coming, and I'll keep the drama coming! Oh, Bridgette, you have got to see this!
Geoff: Now for the juicy bit.
[Shows a video of Jo in a strange room with two other girls.]
Jo: Salution! It is I, Josephine Silver! You will pick me, such a capable young lady, as a contestant on your show for the following reasons.
Geoff: Exhibit A. Jo's audition tape!
(One of the girls facepalmed. She looked like Jo. Like Jo, she had short neck length blonde hair, her bangs being held in place by light purple hairpins. She wore a black waistcoat, and a white dress. Instead of a red bow tie, she had a light purple bow tie around her neck and lavender cummerbund tied in a floppy bow around her waist. Like Jo, she had knee high leather boots. This girl in purple was Mary.)
Mary: (facepalms, under Jo listing why she should be on Total Drama) Here we go again, Josephine.
Jo: Reason 5, I want to show Mary that I can be a proper lady.
(A third girl with short blonde hair smiled. She wore a white maid's outfit with a pink apron and a teal butterfly hair clip. A silver ribbon was tied around her collar. Short white socks and pink Mary-Jane shoes adorned her feet. This butterfly clip girl was Spice.)
Spice: I-I tricked Jo into making an audition tape. I love my sister, don't get me wrong, but she's always so impatient. 'Sis, do this', 'Sis, do that'. Yes, Jo, you're my sister, but you don't need to nag me.
Jo: (glares at Spice) Who gave you the right to call your sister by her first name?! Call me sis, or don't call me anything at all!
Spice: Yes, sis... Sorry, sis...
Jo: Anyways, I do not give a shit about the money! I just want the chance to be seen on global TV! (laughs)
(The audition tape ends)
Geoff: Exhibit B!
(Shows unseen footage of Jo and Slappy walking; suddenly a woman appeared)
Woman: Billy! I missed you!
Slappy: (muffled) please let go of me. I can't breathe!
Woman: Mary Shaw is your mother. Don't run from mommy again!
Slappy: (Muffled) Wait! She's not my mother! I'm Slappy!
Mary Shaw: I do not understand what Billy is saying... but better take him back to my house!
(Mary Shaw takes Slappy away, while Jo looks on in horror, as the unseen footage pauses)
Geoff: What you just saw was Mary Shaw (Dead Silence) mistaking Slappy for her dummy, Billy.
(shows footage of a kid drawing on slappy's face with a permanent marker, throwing him in the mud, and smearing makeup on his face)
Geoff: And while Slappy's not happy with his new owner, espically with the kid that comes to torture him, (shows Slappy being run a bath), it's alright.
Bridgette: And if he can stand the nasty kids, if he's willing to clean up their vomit... (shows Slappy being barfed on)
Blaineley: Well we can truly say Slappy's punishment may not be one after all. (shows a vomit covered Movie Slappy glaring at the kid) We'll see if Slappy can convince Mary Shaw of his real identity. (shows Mary Shaw bathing Slappy)
(The unseen footage ends)
Geoff: But Jo hasn't quit being a serial killer. That shitstorm aside...
"Our final guest is the first competitor in Total Drama history to be sidelined by injury! Fresh from intensive care, please welcome everyone's favorite maniac, Izzy!" Bridgette said, but nobody came out, "Er, uh, please welcome, Brainzilla...?"
Izzy walked with a pair of glasses and her hair in a bun.
"Greetings, carbon based life form commonly referred to as Bridgette." Brainzilla said.
"How are you?"
"Brainzilla's health falls within acceptable parameters, thank you. More importantly, she is making cracking progress on her new time machine."
"Great?"
"Brainzilla is also close to patenting a donut maker that fits in your purse."
Bridgette laughed awkwardly, "Geoff?"
Geoff ran back over, "It's all good to go! Yo, Izzy, long time, no party!" he said.
"Greeting, carbon based life form commonly referred to as Geoffrey. Your grammar is appalling."
"Thanks, man. I try."
"Uh, where'd Blaineley and the peanut gallery go?" Bridgette asked as she looked over to see only Harold at the phones, who shrugged.
"You'll find out soon! But first, it's time for a brand new Aftermath segment, Brain Blast!" Geoff said.
Cut to Geoff tying Brainzilla to a wheel marked with various images. Above a shark tank.
"Here's how Brain Blast works! You call in with donations, and I blitz Izzy/Brainzilla with skill-testing questions! The bigger the donation, the harder the question! And dudes, you're gonna want these questions to be super, mega, major hard!"
"Fascinating creatures. They can have up to 3,000 teeth." Brainzilla said.
"Uh, Geoff!? What are you doing!?" Bridgette asked.
"The last resort." he responded.
"When did you last feed these cartilaginous beauties, Geoffrey?" Brainzilla said.
"No clue. One wrong answer from Izzy/Brainzilla, and her straps will unlock, dunking her on shark-infested water!"
"You can't do this!" Bridgette said worriedly.
"Oh, it may seem a trivial waste of Brainzilla's mind, Bridgette, but Brainzilla believes in challenging her enormous grey cells." Brainzilla said.
"If you're a fan of violence, sharks, or skill testing questions, you'll be a fan here, so call now!" Geoff said. Every phone rang at once and Harold scrambled to pick up all of them, "Nice! Give her a spin, babe!"
Bridgette reluctantly spun the wheel.
"I say, 78 rotations per minute! Marvelous." Brainzilla said.
"First question: Geography. Level of difficulty?"
"Mondo!" Harold yelled.
"What's the capital of Uzbekistan?"
"Please, Tashkent." Brainzilla replied.
"Correct!" Geoff said before spinning the wheel, "Next question, currency exchange! Difficulty?"
"Outrageous!" Harold yelled.
"What's the equivalent of 2,789 dollars in yen?"
"Elementary. 244,500." Brainzilla replied.
"Yes! Next!" Geoff said before spinning again, "Math! Difficulty?"
"Funky!" Harold yelled.
"What's the square root of 67?"
"Child's play. 8.185835277187245." Brainzilla replied.
"Correct! Wow, let's go to the next round!" Geoff said before spinning the wheel too hard, causing it to roll down the ramp and crash into something backstage, causing Brainzilla to yell in pain. She walked back while a little loopy.
"Are you okay, Brainzilla!?" Bridgette asked as she and Geoff ran over to her.
"Who? I heart marshmallow sauce!" Izzy said while laughing and doing flips.
"That sounds like old Izzy...."
"Huh, weird. That could be a problem for the Peanut Gallery...." Geoff said as he pointed to the ceiling, where they were all tied up with a rope and being lowered down above the shark tank.
"Neato!" Izzy said before she was blindfolded and a bomb was rolled next to her, "Hey, where'd the universe go?"
"The rules are simple; Izzy has to diffuse the bomb blindfolded as the Peanut Gallery are slowly lowered into the shark tank." Geoff said.
"What!?" everyone yelled out.
Izzy felt the bomb, "Hmm, it's boxy... better hit it with a hammer, just to be sure!" she said as she pulled a hammer out of literal hammer space. Everyone screamed as Izzy hit the bomb with a hammer. Naturally, it exploded and everyone was left in various states of disarray around the studio.
"T-that was awesome!" Geoff said from atop a steel beam.
"What!?" Bridgette asked despite being right next to him, "I can't hear you over the ringing!"
"Did we reach our goal, Harold!?"
"Uhh, g-give me a drumroll please..." Harold said as the screen showed one million dollars and one cent.
"One million dollars and one cent!? Who knows the fans best, huh!? Me! Me, Geoff! I know them!" Geoff said.
"What!?" Bridgette asked.
"Thanks to your support, we all still have jobs! Even Blaineley! And the show will go on, so be sure to tune in next time for the continuation of the world's greatest reality competition ever, Total Drama World Tour!"
"What!?" Bridgette yelled as the monitor fell.