✩ | CHAPTER 6
" I defy you, stars. "
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☄. *. ⋆ 8TH OF APRIL 2009. ☄. *. ⋆
I was barely able to hold my head straight from how tired I was.
Sitting in the class of Korean literature wasn't how I planned my Wednesday morning to go by, but I didn't have a choice.
" Make sure to write an essay once you've done reading the novel. "
The voice of our literature professor, Mr. Kang, took me out of my sleepy trance as I glanced at Myeong who was writing something down in her notebook.
" What essay? " - I whispered.
" You have to read the tragedy then write the review essay on it. "
" What tragedy? " - I sleepily said.
" Romeo and Juliet. "
Ah, of course it's that one.
We started working on Shakespeare's books in the middle of March and we already finished with "Hamlet".
Do I really need to read Romeo and Juliet now?
Can't I just watch the movie?
After the end of class, I couldn't wait to be back home.
My stomach ached for the taste of mother's cooking and my eyes were screaming for sleep.
I walked slowly downstairs towards the exit of the school as Myeong rushed up to me.
" Chae! Chae! " - she called out, handing me a pink envelope decorated with blue sparkling hearts.
I looked up from the envelope to her. " Who's the envelope for? "
" It's for Jonghyun. " - she spoke, making my jaw reflexively clench at the name.
I fought the urge not to roll my eyes as I sighed.
" Can you give it to your brother so he can pass it to Jonghyun? " - she asked with desperation in her voice.
" Uhm... But I haven't seen Minho in awhile. "
" Please Chae... It's his birthday today. "
Birthday?
It's Jonghyun's birthday today?
My mind got fuzzy with all the sudden thoughts of today being his birthday.
How?
Why didn't I know about that?
What should I do now?
Should I do something?
Why would I do it?
I took the pink envelope from Myeong making her clap her hands happily giggling.
" Oh Chae! Thank you! " - she squealed, embracing me into a tight hug that was really uncomfortable.
On my way back home, I kept Myeong's envelope in my hands, glancing down at it from time to time.
Should I really give it to Jonghyun?
But when will I see him again?
Should I call Minho?
But wait if see him today, I won't have a birthday gift to give out.
I grabbed my purse from the backpack, looking inside it for some money I have.
None.
Of course.
Wasted it all on food.
I sighed out of the frustration as I opened the door to our house.
" Mom, I'm home! "
I heard no response as I slowly tiptoed over to the kitchen, noticing a small note sticked onto the countertop.
" I went to work earlier today, you have pasta in the fridge! Microwave it before eating. "
So she's not home?
I looked from the letter towards the house phone in the living room before rushing up to it, dialing Minho's phone number I learned by heart.
It rang four times, before a voice of my brother was heard on the other side.
" Hello? "
" MinMin! It's me Chae! " - I happily said.
" Ahh Chae, why are you suddenly calling me? Is everything okay? "
" Yes... Uhm... Are you in the dorms? "
" No, I'm at the company. I can't use my phone for much longer. Why? "
I sighed, already feeling down. " I thought about you picking me up from here so I could visit you. "
" Ah Chae, I would but I really have a busy schedule today. Sorry. "
I almost teared up, hearing him speaking about being busy over the phone.
It ruined my plans.
I had plans?
No.
I had impulsive decisions only.
So after talking with Minho, I sat down on the couch in the living room, deeply in thought.
My heart felt heavy at the thought that Jonghyun's birthday is today and yet I didn't know about it.
The next thing I knew, I was out of the house with Myeong's envelope in my right and my mother's credit card in my left hand, getting on the next bus.
Mother is going to kill me if she ever finds out.
I have to be back home before she is.
Once again I saw the bus passing by my school, and from here on, it's the place of the Seoul I've never been to alone.
I got out on the next stop, entering a busy street in a order to find a grocery store.
I don't even know what he likes.
Why am I doing this?
My hands were getting sweaty and my head dizzy.
I was alone in the middle of Seoul, getting a present for Jonghyun.
I grabbed a cheesecake package from the fridge.
Everyone likes cheesecake, he will like it too.
I payed for it before exiting the store.
Where to now?
To their dorms?
I knew the address very well but the thought of how to get there by myself scared me.
I looked down at the credit card in my hands before taking a deep breath.
Should I just go home?
I walked towards the parking lot where the taxi drivers usually take their break.
I gained up the courage to speak up and ask if they are free now to take me towards the address I gave them.
The man, he was around 30 years old, accepted my request, stepping on the cigarette he was smoking before I got here.
We got inside the taxi and I sat in the backseat, looking through the window.
I tightly held the cheesecake cup and Myeong's letter in my hands from how nervous I was.
This is also the first time I'm alone with a taxi driver.
The thought of things becoming bad entered my mind but I lost them the moment I saw the dorm building from my view.
My heart was loudly pounding in my chest as I payed the driver with the credit card before exiting the car.
I walked up towards the building, slowly entering the code I remembered from the last time I was here.
My legs felt heavy and my breathing wasn't stable neither as I took steps up the stairs towards their dorm.
I stopped in front of the door.
Should I go back now?
What should I say?
Is he even home?
I rang the bell with my shaky hands, waiting for someone to open them.
I heard footsteps on the other side of the door.
I should hide now.
But the door in front of me opened.
" Chae? "
Taemin.
I breathed out the sigh of relief that it wasn't Jonghyun who opened the door.
Does that mean he's not here?
" What brings you here? " - he asked with a soft smile on his lips.
" Ah... Uhm... My mom has to work until late so she stopped by to leave me here not to be alone at home. " - I said, my cheeks heating up.
I was lying.
Of course.
Taemin nodded, inviting me inside. " I have to leave in a few minutes tho. Jonghyun hyung is here, I'm sure the others will arrive by quickly. "
Jonghyun is here?
Does that mean I'm here now with him alone?
I nodded, looking at the cheesecake cup and the letter.
My heart somehow smiled at the thought of gifting him this today, but it dropped down to my feet as soon as I entered the living room.
I saw Jonghyun seated on the couch with some lady that I didn't know the name of.
That's not Sodam.
That's not his sister.
Who is she?
They stopped talking once I entered the room with Taemin close behind me.
" Moon? " - Jonghyun looked at me. " Where did you come from? "
I gulped looking at the lady.
Oh she's beautiful.
" Uhm... My mother dropped me off. I will wait for Minho here. " - I spoke, my voice so small in the silence it was barely coming out.
I wanted to cry.
" You're Minho's sister? " - the lady asked me.
I nodded slowly.
She even has a pretty voice.
" Oh you're so cute. " - she smiled. " I'm Sekyung. "
" Chaewol. " - I replied.
Who are you Sekyung?
" Is that for me? " - Jonghyun's voice broke the awkward silence by seeing the cheesecake cup I was holding.
I blushed, looking down at what supposed to be his present for today.
" N-No... " - I spoke. " It's for me. " - I added, sitting down on the floor by the table, across from them.
" Ahh.. I really love cheesecake.. Will you share it with me? " - Jonghyun whined.
" Don't be a baby. " - Sekyung laughed.
I felt like an outcast.
Is that his girlfriend?
I felt so stupid by coming here.
Taemin announced that he's leaving and Sekyung also stood up from the couch.
" I have to get to work now, I'll also leave. "
Good.
" Ahh, you weren't even here for an hour. It's my birthday, make an exception today. " - Jonghyun pouted.
I glared at him while opening the cheesecake cup.
" I can't, I have a filming session to do. " - Sekyung said. " I'll make it up to you someday. "
Jonghyun stood up from the couch too, hugging her tightly.
My eyes were glued to the cheesecake in front of me, not daring to look up at them.
" Text me when you're free. " - Jonghyun said.
Sekyung nodded, leaving the dorm together with Taemin.
I want to bury myself alive.
" Want a spoon for that? " - Jonghyun questioned, looking at the cheesecake in front of me.
I nodded, hearing his footsteps leave the living room towards the kitchen.
He came down, sitting next to me with a spoon in his hand.
As I was about to grab it away from him, he took the cheesecake cup and a big scoop of it, immediately swallowing it.
" Yah! " - I shouted at him. " Didn't I say it wasn't for you? "
" Did I say I care? " - He laughed.
I punched his shoulder roughly, turning away from him.
" Moon. Are you mad now? "
I didn't reply.
I closed my eyes for a moment, deeply inhaling.
I can't cry now.
" Moon... Here you can eat the rest. I won't bother you. "
He placed the cheesecake back on the table in front of me, noticing the pink letter.
" What is this? "
Oh shoot.
" Is this for me? "
I couldn't lie now. Myeong decorated the letter so it screams out that it was for him.
I nodded. " My friend said to give it to you."
He took the letter, carefully opening it.
Silence was the only thing in the living room between us as he was reading the letter.
He smiled, folding it back.
" Ahh.. You should bring your friend to meet us. " - he said.
Is he crazy?
" No. She's busy. "
" She said in the letter that she'll always make time for me. " - Jonghyun smirked.
" She can't skip school. " - I said.
" But you can? "
" I didn't skip school today! " - I snatched the letter away from him.
" Hey, that's mine. " - he protested.
" Cheesecake was mine too but you ate the half of it. " - I narrowed my eyes at him.
" It's my birthday. "
" Happy birthday, you're not getting the letter back. " - I said, putting it inside the envelope again.
" Are you jealous that I want to meet your friend? " - Jonghyun asked, chuckling.
I immediately blushed at the thought.
Was I jealous?
" No! I do not care. But you should protect your privacy. " - I said.
" So you do care about me. " - he smirked.
I looked down at the cheesecake I was eating, ignoring him.
" Moon... You'll be here for awhile. Are you planning on not speaking to me? "
" Maybe. I'm waiting for my brother. "
Lies.
I literally came here for him.
We stayed silent for a couple of minutes before he stood up from the couch making me look up at him.
" I'm writing a song. Do you want to help me? "
I blinked twice.
" I know nothing about songwriting. "
" You can learn. " - he smiled softly at me. " Wait here. "
He suddenly left me alone in the living room and came back holding a notebook and a pen in his hand.
He got seated back on the couch, opening the notebook in front of me.
I could barely recognize his writing.
" Your writing is so bad. " - I said.
" I'm not giving this notebook to the wise president. It's for my eyes only. "
" I can't understand a thing. " - I added.
" It's the chours. Zi-zi-zik oh, I have been electrocuted by you~ "
I stared at him.
" Is the person being electrocuted by the thunder? Are they okay? That's confusing. "
" No, it's a love song. " - Jonghyun said, annoyed that I didn't catch up on the metaphor.
" Zi-zi-zik sounds like a middle aged game. " - I said, trying not to laugh.
Jonghyun rolled his eyes. " Don't laugh at me, I'm trying my best. "
" Sorry. " - I added, taking another bite of the cheesecake.
He sighed, looking down at the messy writings in front of him.
" The company asked you to write a song? "
" No. I just wanted to do it by myself and see if it'll work. I guess it doesn't. " - he said, being completely disappointed.
Now I feel bad for saying the lyrics aren't good.
" You said it's a love song right? " - I repeated his words, pushing away the leftover cheesecake and focusing more on him.
He nodded.
" Why not using softer words than zi-zi-zak? "
" Cause none comes up on my mind. I'm not the Shakespeare Moon. "
Oh! The essay.
" Ah, I have to do my homework. " - I said, sighing out of annoyance.
" What do you have to do? "
" Write an essay. We have to read Romeo and Juliet. " - I said. " But I hate reading. "
" Oh I think we have a movie here. " - Jonghyun added, standing up from the couch and moving himself towards the TV and the shelf above it, looking through the CD's they had from different video games and movies.
" I think Taemin brought it when we moved in, or was it Kibum? " - He said, taking out the CD holder and looking at the cover. " Do you want to see the movie instead of reading the novel? "
" Is there any difference? " - I asked, not wanting to write an essay about something that didn't even happen in the original story.
" Slightly. But the message of the movie is same. " - he said, kneeling down in front of the DVD player to insert the CD.
" What message? They both die. " - I said.
He looked up at me. " That's not the way you should look at the story. "
He pressed the play button and walked over to sit back on the couch.
" Wait, we're watching it now? "
" That's why I played it. "
" You will watch it too? "
" You see me seated on the couch, does that answer your question? " - he said, raising an eyebrow as he looked at me. " Come here. "
I snapped my head up at him in confusion.
" Where? "
He giggled. " Next to me. You ain't gonna be comfortable if you sit in front of the TV on the floor for the next two hours. "
I looked towards the empty spot next to him as he gently tapped it with his hand, inviting me to sit.
I felt the heat rushing up on my cheeks as I turned my back to him, staring at the TV.
" No, thank you. " - I said, watching the movie as it starts.
" You sure Moon? " - he asked.
" Mhm. " - I said, eyes glued to the TV.
There was a moment of silence before I felt Jonghyun moving behind me on the couch.
Suddenly, I felt a presence next to me and I looked up to see him standing next to me, holding a pillow in his hand.
" Stand up. "
" Why? " - I blinked.
" Sit on the pillow. You'll catch a cold if you sit on the floor for long. " - he said.
Now he's talking like my mother.
I stood up from the floor for a moment only before he placed the pillow down, adding another one next to mine which made me look up at him again.
He sat down on the other pillow next to mine, getting comfortable, before looking at me again.
" Why are you staring at me now? Come on, the movie is playing. " - he said, eyes switching from me towards TV.
He placed another pillow only to sit next to me?
I quietly moved towards my pillow, sitting down next to him.
I was sure for a moment my breathing stopped as I sat down.
I didn't dare to move my eyes away from the TV as we watched the movie in silence.
It was so beautiful.
I grew to like Juliet actually, the actress who played her role looked absolutely gorgeous.
But I couldn't understand why is Juliet killing herself after she finds out Romeo is dead.
Couldn't she just mourn in peace and move on with her life?
Did she love him that much?
After the credits rolled at the end of the movie, I heard silent sniffling next to me.
I turned my head to look at Jonghyun, who's slyly wiping his cheeks.
" Are you crying? " - I asked.
" No. " - he said.
Of course, only if I was blind.
" Are you crying because of the ending? " - I asked.
" I guess. It's just so tragic to watch. " - He said.
" But I still don't understand why would she do that to herself. "
" Because the pain was too strong to handle. " - He answered.
" But she could've moved on with her life. " - I added.
" Moon... You're too young to understand. "
I rolled my eyes. " I know what love is. "
" Do you? " - He asked.
Do I?
Did I experience something like Juliet did?
Was I electrocuted by someone like Romeo was by Juliet?
Maybe I'm truly too young for that.
" Did you? " - I asked in return.
" Maybe. Would you care if I say yes? " - he smirked, expecting to get a reaction out of me.
" No. I'm just curious if you were electrocuted by someone like Romeo was by Juliet, maybe I can use it for my essay. " - I said, looking at him for a moment.
He was thinking about something before reaching his hand out to grab the notebook from the table.
" And maybe I can use it for the song. " - he suddenly said, pen writing down words faster than lightning.
" Use what? "
" Romeo and Juliet. " - he said. " What if it's the song about her? Juliet? "
" Anything is better than Zi-zi-zak. " - I giggled.
Jonghyun looked up from the notebook with a death stare as I stopped giggling.
I heard the front door of the dorm opening as familiar face entered my view.
" What are you doing here? " - Minho's voice rang in the silent living room.
I looked up at Minho and my face went pale.
I couldn't recognize his facial expressions.
Was he mad that I got here?
Will he tell mom?
Oh no, mom.
My eyes immediately found the clock on the wall showing it's past 6pm.
No, no, no, it's too late.
Mom will kill me if she sees that I'm not home, let alone if she finds out I got here by myself.
" I- I... Mom dropped me here, not to be alone at home. " - I said.
" But I just talked to her on the way here, she's going home. She didn't mention anything about picking you up. " - Minho said, crossing his arms over his chest.
" Chae... Explain. "
My throat suddenly got sore and I couldn't avoid the way my eyes teared up.
I hate lying. It never got me anywhere.
" Please don't tell mom. " - I said quietly.
" Chaewon you got here all by yourself?! " - Minho yelled.
I dropped my gaze down to the floor, wishing my tears would stay in my eyes and not fall down.
" Moon, but you told me your mother dropped you here? Why were you lying? " - Jonghyun asked, standing up from the floor.
" I'm sorry... " - was all I could say as Minho was about to shout at me again.
" No don't yell at her we're not solving this with yelling. " - Jonghyun said, turning to me again. " Moon, it's dangerous for you to go out all by yourself. Please don't do that ever EVER again. Understand? " - He said, kneeling down to face me.
I couldn't hold in the tears that rolled down my cheeks.
" Don't cry now. You know what you did was wrong. I'm calling mom to pick you up. " - Minho said, taking out his phone.
" No, please don't tell mom, she'll ground me forever. " - I begged.
" Let's think of another option. " - Jonghyun added, which made Minho even more furious.
" Other option? She told no one she'd be here! If mom sees her not being home she'll be worried sick! " - Minho shouted.
" Let's drop her home, yeah? " - Jonghyun said.
" Call the driver. I'm sure we can make it before your mother finds out. "
" Hyung we should not- "
" Minho, call the driver. Now. " - Jonghyun added, grabbing the jacket from the hanger.
Minho sighed.
Frustrated he called the driver as we exited the dorm.
Ride home with Minho and Jonghyun was silent. None of us spoke a word and I knew that it's my fault.
I got myself and themselves in trouble.
I'm so stupid.
What was I even thinking about going to see Jonghyun?
But it's his birthday.
I saw Minho relaxing in his seat as he saw my mother's car spot was still empty in the driveway.
" Good. She's not home yet. Now go. " - Minho said.
I nodded, opening the door and getting outside.
" Moon, sleep well okay? " - Jonghyun said, stopping me from closing the door.
I nodded as he softly smiled at me before pulling the door closed.
Immediately rushing inside the house and towards my room I threw myself on the bed, salty tears escaping my eyes freely now.
God, I'm so stupid.
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