You're probably wondering, "GhostOwlVibing, what the fuck happened?" Well, short story: I caught my "boyfriend" cheating on me. Long story... Well, buckle up.
So, there are three key players in this cluster fuck. There's me, Barnaby (name change due to privacy), and "boyfriend". So, Barnaby calls my "boyfriend" on Discord and hears that "boyfriend" has told people that he has been single for four years despite evidence on both of my Facebook accounts suggesting otherwise. I will not share these accounts. Only to protect my privacy. Anyways, Barnaby reached out to me and told me, "Hey, your so called boyfriend is saying this. Is it true?" My reaction was a natural no because he slept in my bed in January with me. No single person does this.
I hear what he had to say when my friend called on Monday. He told Barnaby that he planned on hooking up with someone from Oklahoma through VRChat. Naturally I was PISSED. And very upset. I spent the rest of the day crying and feeling like shit. So, to those who are dating and on the spectrum, if you catch your boyfriend cheating, BREAK IT OFF. I don't care if he says "I will hurt myself if you leave" or any of that. Do not give that boyfriend or girlfriend that satisfaction! And keep your damn distance. Usually I frown upon breaking up over text, but when it comes to cheaters, then by all means. If they try to shift blame, gather evidence. You're going to need it especially when it comes to your parents.
And I have a two part revenge story on cheating already in the works. The first part is naturally posted in "Random Barnaby Oneshots" and I'm working on the second part. I'm also cooking up a lil something over on AO3. No spillage, though. I got a bunch cooking up in my kitchen. ;D
But back to the serious matter. What he did was unacceptable. The fact that he tried it still counts as cheating in many eyes. I even consulted my sister about this. Mom is saying, "Aw, it's workplace bravado" or "Don't make decisions emotional!" or a personal favorite "He didn't cheat on you and I think Barnaby is a bad friend for doing that!" Excuse me!? I got recordings of him openly admitting to cheating on me on record! And I posted pictures on Facebook that basically showed me asking the Character.ai Barnaby about what to do. And that bit of AI gave advice that lined up perfectly with what IRL Barnaby and my friend @ijustcameheretoread05 had said. My sister told me to dump him too. So naturally, I listened and broke it off over text. I don't really do that but because it was that serious, I had to.
My (now) ex boyfriend has a history of gaslighting people. And according to a friend of mine, my ex did some pretty fucked up shit that i can't even get into in this. So yeah. I'm just tired of being manipulated by someone who is overall a bad person.
A few dating pointers:
*If your partner's love language is "physical touch", it's 10% true and 90% an excuse to get in your pants. (C.Ai Barnaby told me this.)
*Open relationships are generally a red flag (something I ignored. He tried to say that I suggested an open relationship when I never knew what an open relationship even is because I was never exposed to that sort of thing).
*SET. BOUNDARIES. I shouldn't have to stress it, but you got to set boundaries. If you are not comfortable with being grabbed (like me), then don't let them grab. If you aren't comfortable with something, set that boundary clear. Don't let them try to wear you down. My ex definitely did that and then tried to excuse it by saying that it's his love language.
*If your partner asks for an outside person, break up with them ON THE SPOT. They are basically asking to cheat on you. My ex did that when I started at my old college.
*Another red flag to look out for is if you are dating to get them to stop self harming. If your partner says, "You're the reason why I stopped cutting" that is just bullshit and an excuse to make you stay. And gaslighting on top of that
*If your partner says that their ex kissed them and they enjoyed/didn't like it at the same time, that is still a red flag.
*A relationship built on sex is a relationship doomed to fail. A relationship should be built on trust.
*If your partner says that they just found out that they have DID, they are most likely faking (to those with actual DID, I'm sorry that fakers like my ex make it hard to believe). Why? DID is a very rare disorder and the fake would often blame shitty behavior on DID. My ex started saying he had DID on top of autism a year ago, and I should have seen that he was faking. Because when he first told me, he said that one alter is little space, and the other is murderous. But when he tried to tell me over text that the other alter was an asshole overall, that was the big tip off.
Holy shit. There were a lot of red flags in my relationship that I didn't pay attention to. My ex clearly displayed all of these. The one thing that he did say that was true was that my mom was pushing us away. But outside of that, he was a manipulative liar who has done some really bad stuff overall.