◖𓈈﹗ ﹙ chapter forthy-two ﹚
❛ ▬▬ SKINNY LITTLE BITCH. . . ❜
The cocaine had entered her system again before she was returned to Dorian's mansion, carrying in her memory a story coveted by many. Lilith Arduenn had had a brief moment to exchange anguish and anxiety for the serenity of her beloved cat's emerald eyes. Oh God, what was she doing? Demons had been in her way since her mother disappeared, killing Detective Pike and Vanessa Smith, people willing to help her. At the time, she thought of them as coincidences, and then Meg used her last breath to warn her of an evil that would condemn everyone. It didn't seem unreasonable to assume a relationship with the queen of hell -although she had given herself to Pandora before-, if Lilith demon was that force from which she had to escape... Why didn't she feel that way? As if she were trapped in her nets. A lineage of blood, of course, but it was something else that prevented her from being frightened and running into the arms of the mundane world.
There were no good or bad for Lilith, that was nonsense, what existed was morality and ethics for interests, and hers were very high and estimated a fair price. She was not afraid of the consequences; she was going to have everything she wanted, as she had all her life. She would cry until she got it. Heads would roll to profess justice. She hated angels, so much so that she would do anything to see them suffer, especially Uriel; But still, when the queen of hell confessed her plans, the scent of blood emerged in the air, liters of blood. The new world order was a catastrophic plan, full of chaos and problems. It was not a change that would be feasible in the short term, nor would creatures readily accept it, kneeling very easily, without fighting for their own interests. She needed to be a queen with a powerful army and allies. There was something she liked: separating monsters from humans, creating a realm just for them that was feasible. A concept of justice and fairness that sounded appealing. No more deaths from the supernatural among humans. Lilith demon had not delved into it, and the next time she saw her, she would try to get her to tell her more about her plans and, of course, the rise of hell and the first demon.
For now, she consoled her mind by clinging to her plans: to talk to mom. She didn't care what she had to do. She needed to speak with her mother.
"Your clothes," Judas said, helping her undress. "How are you feeling?" The queen had left, and Judas had returned.
"I'm fine," she replied curtly. "So Lilith wants to free Lucifer? What do you think?"
"I follow my queen, she's a true leader who cares about her people, she reminds me of Jesus," he finally mentioned. Lilith had been asking him about Jesus since she met him. She was dying to know what had happened. "No no no, I don't want to talk about him, Lilith," he pouted, and Judas smiled, caressing her cheeks with his slender warm fingers. "Maybe later, Dorian must be angry, you disappeared for five days."
"Damn," her spirits suddenly dampened. "I'm going to tell him the truth, I don't want to lose him."
"Whatever makes you feel better, Lilith," Judas nodded with a tight-lipped smile and teleported her back to the mansion. "Goodnight, I'll see you tomorrow," they kissed briefly.
Dorian would be very angry. Lilith needed to unload her emotions with someone, to express her actions siding with the demons to someone who would dignify to listen to her reasons, and he had said the word unconditionally. He would understand her, as he had with the blood of the yellow-eyed demon. Judas returned her to the room where he took her from. Prayer jumped from her arms and onto the bed, stretching her legs and beginning to knead the pillows. There were no traces of her boyfriend in the room; he was probably having dinner. As she descended the stairs, she thought of the best way to soften her story and the anger he would have. Maybe she could invite him to dinner outside, have a date before dropping the bomb. She would wear a nice dress, and they would walk hand in hand; Dorian loved that. Yes, that's what she would do, it sounded like a good plan.
¡Dorian?" she called out, her voice echoing through the walls and corridors. "Babe!"
She stepped into the hallway, aware of the devastating silence that enveloped her, wrapping her in the suspicion that had arisen since the moment her life had taken a different direction. Within her, there was still the constant worry that the angels would destroy what little she had left. They had tried with her cat; now she took him everywhere, and she was starting to feel like she should do the same with Dorian when she found the body of a maid lying on the floor. Purple magic appeared in her hands. She approached silently, her heart leaping in her chest. The maid, whom she identified as Lois, still had a pulse. What had happened? She continued taking slow steps, tuning her ears to the details. The sound of her shoes against the floor was the only sound. The mansion said nothing, not even a trace of a fight or anything indicating what had happened. The lights were on, and Lilith's magic searched for the culprit. She reached the living room and saw him.
"I was waiting for you," said Uriel, the angel who had killed her mother. "I thought you, apes, were smarter. You still don't understand."
Fury erupted within her. The angel held his silver sword against Dorian's neck. If this were a movie scene, she would have laughed at how unreal it was to see someone as muscular as her boyfriend being threatened by someone as small as Uriel. But it wasn't a movie; it was real life, and Dorian's life was in danger. Her instinctive reaction had been to expose her magic in an attempt to separate them, a futile attempt that would fail because her hands were trembling to kill him, to incinerate him in the same way he had killed her mother. Vengeance formed like a heavy dark cloud obscuring her brown eyes filled with fear, asking where her powerful girlfriend was when he needed her.
Go ahead, kill him if you want," she said, but she didn't take a step forward. "What do you hope to achieve? I know you want to see me fall, rotting in tears. You can't hurt me more than you already have. So go ahead, kill him."
The blade pressed against Dorian's neck, and Lilith's heart quickened its pace. She didn't want him to die, and she wasn't going to let him, but... she had a chance to catch Uriel, and the taste of her vengeance was golden.
"It's a pity that God ordered to keep you alive, I would be the first to kill a whore like you. The offspring of Lilith and Lucifer are the worst abominations in the universe and the stupidest. Wasn't your mother's death enough for you? Maybe you'll understand if I kill your little boyfriend. Do you love him already, don't you? Or are you just using him because you have no one else to love you?"
"Seriously, what does Heaven want me to do?"
"Live with your fucking boyfriend and stop meddling between Heaven and Hell."
"And I'm the stupid one..." she said, letting out an ironic laugh. "Wouldn't it be easier to kill me? You'd save the angel who's been watching me twenty-four hours a day and all this stupid scene. I'm not going to fight for my life if you let me into Heaven. You could make a deal with me, but you still follow God's orders like the chickens you are. God must be very stupid not to order you to KILL me!"
Purple magic attempted to push the angel away from Dorian. Lilith could barely move him a step back; the angel's build was heavier than she had estimated, like a mountain of power. She should prepare the sigil the queen had carved on her stomach. She looked at Dorian, who was immobilized by the sword's edge and the angel's power. He looked like a lost little child on the street, waiting for his mom to find him. Damn... she had put him in that situation.
"Speaking as your queen, I see the similarities. Another Lilith telling angels what to do, asking them to rebel against God," she couldn't help but notice that Uriel spoke with personality and not like the angel Haniel, who seemed like a robot. In his tone, there was amusement in making her suffer condescendingly, inciting her to break her control. "Tell me, what do you and the hell bitch talk about in your little meetings?"
For a moment, she thought about denying what he said because Dorian was there, and she still feared his reaction; saying it like this was the worst-case scenario.
"We talk about how we're going to kill all of you," she confessed, finally unburdening herself. Mind control didn't work on the man the angel possessed; his presence was more powerful than that of a witch. How would she trap him? It was going to be impossible. She looked at Dorian, didn't say anything; there was nothing new about him. That made her feel better.
"You're on the demons' side, aren't you, Lilith?"
The accusation echoed in her head so loudly that it created a knot in her throat, the pressure to give a clear and concise statement, without nuances or fine print. Someday she would have to make the decision out loud. Months of interacting with the first woman, the first demon, and the goddess of queens. Her actions raised a demon flag, and yet her lips trembled, preventing her from accepting it. Her part that emerged without the drug was peeking out, giving one last look at Dorian, the person who was loving her and she loved, she could feel it in her heart and in the tears she was going to shed for him. Dean blamed her and would never forgive what she did. She could no longer call Sam her best friend. Bobby was disappointed in her, and his look hurt. Mandy and Galilea hated her. But... did she love Dorian because she was alone? It didn't matter, what she felt was real or would be someday.
!
"Yes, I'm with them," her voice trembled, and the power wasn't as strong as she would have liked. It was that of a young girl, and she didn't want to be a young girl anymore; she was a woman now, and she had to make decisions to get what she wanted, to remember the ambition she had when she entered college to fulfill her goal. The demons had come to grant her wishes; they had opened their doors for an exchange, one that the angels could have done instead of killing her mother. She wouldn't have gotten involved if they had left her alive. How could they have done that? How had God come up with that idea? And an angel had done it as if it were nothing, so heartless. She saw beyond the suit, beyond the body he used, poor man, he didn't know what he had gotten himself into. How would she catch him? She wasn't going to kill him so quickly.
"Good girl," he smiled. "I can't wait to see you destroyed."
Lilith began to laugh in the same way the queen had laughed at the angels.
"I'm going to burn you alive."
She started bleeding; the sigil to expel the angel had been activated. The outcome of her thoughts had determined her inability to defeat the angel. Fire wouldn't do anything. She didn't have the resources to kill him. But she had seen the opportunity to obtain a powerful weapon: the angel sword. It wasn't her chance, and she had written Uriel's end in a church, burned alive, just as he had done with her mother. Lilith Arduenn had found the plan to take the angel sword. Dorian was nearby, and behind Uriel was a large, heavy piece of furniture.
"I can't stop you, maybe they will," Uriel said, losing the sentence in the void, as Lilith didn't hear him and concluded her plan.
She invaded Dorian's mind, using her mental power. Then, with her magic, she threw the furniture over Uriel's head, diverting his attention enough to take advantage of the second offered for Dorian to grab the angel sword and Lilith to place her hand on her stomach to activate the sigil. Uriel had realized her intention too late; Dorian had taken the angel sword and threw it to Lilith, who caught it in the air. The angel's expression changed from pure terror to joy for the witch. He lunged at her, his hand raised, and his eyes gleamed with celestial light, but a cutting light expelled the angel from there. The witch smiled for her victory. She had done it very quickly. Uriel, once again, managed to hurt her by breaking the necklace her mother had given her. He destroyed it, the pieces falling to the ground.
"No!" she screamed sharply, so much so that it sounded like the angels' screech.
"Are you with the demons?" she felt a horrible pain in her chest, a stab that hurt worse than the birth of a power pearl. Her eyes watered, and her whole body grew hot, discomposed; she felt like she was going to vomit. She turned around and saw Sam, Dean, and Bobby. "Answer," Dean said angrily.
She started crying. The pieces of her necklace were scattered on the floor; the heart crystals fell from her hands, and the gold chain was no longer attached. Dorian got up from the floor and made his way to the stairs, without even looking at her or saying anything.
"Dorian," she whimpered, leaving the necklace and focusing on him, the last thing she wanted to do was deal with the Winchesters and Bobby. She followed him, hurrying up the steps. "Are you hurt? I'll heal you," tears ran down her cheeks, and her voice trembled. She didn't want to lose him. "Babe, please, I can explain everything, I'm sorry. Dorian," she took him by the arm, and he shook her off, pushing her down a step.
"Where the hell were you?!" he yelled like he had never done before. His voice deafened her deservedly. They fought often, yes, but this one felt different, like a punch. "I'm sick of you! What the hell do I have to do for you to consider telling me what you're doing?! I give you everything, Lilith! You use my money, live in my house, sleep in my bed. I don't ask you questions that hurt you, I stay quiet, giving you my whole life. Your damn cat gives me allergies, and I've never complained about it getting on the bed and sleeping with us. And still, you have me on the side! What am I to you? You can't keep a damn promise. I tell you what I don't want to say to anyone else; you make me believe you care, that you understand; you say nice words and make oaths, but then you disappear in the morning. What the hell is wrong with you? What did you think I was going to hate you for talking to I don't know who? Do you think I'm stupid? That I don't have my damn suspicions? You're a witch, for God's sake; I'm not going to be scared of anything you do; you can massacre the whole damn Heaven if you feel like it; I'll still love you, stupid. I'm the one who started this relationship; I know what it meant. You brought a demon into the relationship! Did I say no? I didn't fucking freak out. Why didn't you trust me? I'm the only one who's going to understand you, and I'm the only one who's by your damn side."
Lilith stood halfway up the stairs as Dorian went up to his room. She heard the footsteps of the three men, but she couldn't care less. She was having a panic attack. Blood pounded in her ears, and she could clearly hear her heart beating against her chest. The pain grew so intense that she had to cling to the railing. She deserved it; maybe she would learn something from it. Healing seemed disrespectful to her. She had to suffer like a human, like Dorian was suffering, and maybe then she would think she understood the pain. Breath escaped from her lungs, and tears and mucus filled her nose. She didn't move an inch; how could she? Dorian's words had hurt her because of their sincerity; the truth struck her with pleasure. She had been so stupid, and now she had lost the only person who would love her unconditionally... he lied about that, at least she could blame him for something. She was a damn demon in that relationship.
Dorian returned a few seconds later with the keys to his car in his hand and walked down the stairs past her.
"Dorian," she whispered, trying to grab his arm. "Please don't go."
He left.
Her body was bleeding, the blood soaking through the fabric and dripping down her legs. She felt disoriented, sick; her body burned like a fever of forty degrees. Well done! She had lost, it was a fact. Her boyfriend hated her as much as the three hunters who witnessed the scene as if it were a soap opera and could judge everything she did. Screw it all! She crawled up the stairs, finding it very curious that her angel didn't save her... she thought that all the crap engraved on her body was preventing it. If she died, she wouldn't go to heaven; she would go to hell, and being a demon didn't scare her anymore.
Other footsteps climbed with her.
Lilith went into the room and took some fentanyl vials from the nightstand. She poured a few pills and swallowed them, forcing the knot in her throat to unravel. She had had enough; her time had come. She knelt before him.
📬！▬ author's note
BUAAAAAAAAAAAA what a chapter, I am LOVING writing this and I hope you guys are enjoying it too.
this song represents lilith in LIKE A PRAYER 100%, listen to it and read the lyrics, everything screams lilith
the next chapter is coming intense and with DEAN POV, super romantic and important for his relationship with lilith.
vote and comment it helps a lot to know your opinion and if you want to leave a comment it would be very welcome :)
xoxoxo