"Toph, where is the chicken-possum? I need to cook it," I called over to Toph, who was refusing to sweep like she was asked.
"What chicken-possum?" Toph asked, playing with the broom in her hands rather than sweeping the floor with it.
I placed the pan on the stove, "The chicken possum you were meant to get today at the butcher's."
Toph made a face.
"You forgot?!" I bellowed out.
"I got distracted," Toph said dismissively.
"You'll be distracted when your stomach is grumbling because I couldn't cook the food!" I barked back, slamming my wooden spoon down on the counter.
"You go buy it then!" Toph rebutted, slamming the broom down.
"Oh, I will, and I'm going to take my sweet time. And no one is allowed to have a smidgen of food before I return!" I yelled back, grabbing my bag and slipping my shoes on.
"Not even a cracker?" Sokka whined from the living room.
"If I so much as see one cracker gone, I'm lighting this house on fire."
"Noted," Sokka replied.
I slammed the door in my leave, furious with Toph. Her willingly terrible memory had me in fits of rage. A few times, I caught my palms steaming off. I trudged to the train station, my focus on the butcher and the butcher only. And best believe I was going to go to the furthest one I knew.
I boarded the train, stomping down towards a seat. I plopped myself down, crossing my arms and burning a hole through the spot I stared at. Possum-chicken took a great deal of heckling to get it at a reasonable price. Toph was amazing at heckling, that was why I wanted to her go!
I got up and made a b-line towards the butcher. I arrived just before they had closed up shop. I ran towards the door, and the bald man inside looked dismayed at my arrival. "I know, you're about to close, but I really need some possum chicken," I pleaded with the man, who looked menacing with his meat cleaver.
"Fine," he grumbled, going out the back to fetch it. I made a sigh of relief. Someone else entered the shop.
Mis-matched armour and two hooked swords. I made an audible groan. He smirked. "Well, I just keep running into you, no-name girl."
"Are you able to stop?" I grumbled, leaning against the counter.
"I'm getting a funny sense of deja vu," Jet commented, looking around the wood-furnished shop.
"Oh, do you mean when you attacked me for sending mail?" I hissed back, rolling my eyes.
"Hey, I thought we were over that," he said slyly, sliding in next to me. "So, can I buy you dinner?"
"A noble offer, indeed, but I'm kind of involved with someone at the moment," I said to Jet.
"That's too bad. It's not scar, boy, is it?" Jet asked me sourly.
"How did you know that?" I asked him, turning around to face him.
"I saw him at that tea shop with you. You should stop hanging around him." Jet said sternly. I was surprised he hadn't noticed Zuko from before. But to be fair to him, his haircut really was a focusing feature.
"Why should I do that?" I asked him.
"Because I think he's Fire Nation." Oh no.
I turned my worry into denial. "Lee isn't Fire Nation, don't be ridiculous."
"Yes he is, I saw his old man heat some tea," Jet said confidently.
I scoffed to conceal the pit growing in my stomach. "They work at a tea shop."
"That's not it," Jet said firmly.
I shook my head, "Is this some kind of form of jealousy? Drop it."
"You're in danger if you hang around him," Jet urged, looking actually concerned.
"I've been around Fire Nation before, you know. Regardless, he isn't," I replied sternly as the butcher reappeared and passed me the possum chicken. I handed him a few silver coins and thanked him. "Bye, Jet," I said dismissively, leaving through the door.
"Come on, at least let me catch your name," he pleaded.
I rolled my eyes but finally gave in, "It's Laina, and don't wear it out."
"That's a pretty name, Laina," He smiled from the doorway.
"What did I just say?" I snapped back.
"Right," He put a finger to his lips.
I scoffed and turned around, stuffing my chicken-possum into my bag. I really wasn't going to dawdle; I wasn't so cruel as to starve the always-hungry Sokka. I still took a route I preferred, even if it meant it not being the fastest way home.
An alleyway, quiet and underused, was brightly shining with light. I stopped to see lanterns in its square, flooding the walls of people's homes with yellow colour. It was a fountain I had stopped by sometimes, but I had never been there at night. I didn't know it was so beautiful. My curiosity took hold of me, and I started down the alleyway, the fountain still obscured from my vision.
I stopped when I heard voices coming from around the corner. I poked my head around to see two figures. A girl and a boy. A girl from the tea shop and a boy with a scar on the right side of his face. The girl from the tea shop?! I cursed myself for trying to downplay my instinctive scepticism.
I listened to their conversation as they stood facing the fountain. "I've brought you something. It's a coupon for a free cup of tea," Zuko said, passing her a coupon. I didn't get any free tea.
"Lee, this is so sweet," the girl replied, taking the coupon graciously.
"Don't thank me - it was my uncle's idea. He thinks you're our most valuable customer," Zuko said humbly. Yes, thank goodness it was Iroh's idea.
"Your uncle is a good teacher," she took a few steps towards Zuko. "I have something for you too. Now it's your turn to close your eyes." Why had she closed her eyes before? My breathing hitched as she drew in closer. I was creating cracks in the wall for how hard I was digging in with my fingers.
He closed his eyes.
She drew herself close and kissed him. Only for a moment.
Just don't kiss her back.
Milliseconds felt like minutes as I waited.
He drew in and kissed her.
That was all I could stomach before I had to turn away. Gosh, I felt stupid. My ears grew hot as tears welled in my eyes. I was just a stupid girl. Zuko had not liked me in the way I thought he had. He just saw me as a friend. Like my betrayal was anything attractive anyway. I bit down harshly on my lip to stop crying, but tears just kept on coming.
The sting of love, is that what it was? Well, it was hardly a sting, more like a fireball to the face. I wiped at my eyes in a constant manner. Just get home, was what I thought. Cook dinner, then you can cry.
I sniffed hard, wiping at the last tear. I was practically running to the train, running home. Shaving my journey in half.
When I walked through the door, I was sure my red, swollen eyes could be noticed. Katara eyed me cautiously as I threw the possum chicken down onto the table, hacking at the gristle and bone with a knife. No one disturbed my quiet rage, and I cooked the dinner.
I ate in silence.
I stared out of the window, unable to sleep. The streets of the upper ring were always quiet at night. I saw a cat stroll past, a bird in its mouth. I sat up on the window sill, burning a fire in my palm. I turned over the ruby earrings in my palm.
One kiss meant so much. We both knew it.
A knock came at the door. "Yes?" I asked in a quiet voice. The door opened slowly, and Katara stepped inside in her pyjamas. "Oh, Katara."
"Hi." She joined me on the windowsill, her legs hanging off the ledge.
I smiled, only small, though.
"What's wrong? It's not like you to be so quiet or to be up at this hour," Katara asked me softly.
"You're up," I said pointedly.
"I saw your flame when I went to the bathroom," Katara revealed.
"Oh."
"Come on, what is it?" Katara nudged me. I shook my head, resting my head on my elbows laid atop my legs brought to my chest. "Boy troubles?" Damnit, she knew me too well. I nodded my head, my flame flickering slightly.
"What happened?"
I sighed, "He kissed another girl."
Katara leant forward and hugged me, and I had to quickly extinguish my flame before it lit her blue nylon pyjamas on fire. "Oh, you poor thing, I'm so sorry." I leant into the hug, squeezing Katara tight.
"I thought I meant something, Katara. I really did," I whispered into her shoulder.
"He's stupid if he thinks you don't mean anything. Any boy would be lucky to have you," Katara comforted me.
We pulled apart, and Katara smiled at me. "You know, I liked this guy. He was cool, brave, and charming. And to be honest with you, I didn't exactly have experience in the South. Any boy somewhat near my age went to fight in the war. So when I saw an opportunity, I practically leapt for it," she laughed.
"But this guy wasn't all what he claimed. I thought he was doing right, saving people and defeating the Fire Nation in his forest. But I soon learned that he would sacrifice a whole village if it meant taking down the Fire Nation soldiers in it. Didn't like him so much then."
"I'm glad you told me that," I said to Katara.
"I've been pretty embarrassed about it," she admitted. "I think these sorts of things just happen, and they happen to us all. To say you've succeeded on the first time with love would mean you have an immense amount of luck."
"Then I'm pretty unlucky," I said bitterly.
"I won't deny that being born a dual bender is hardly lucky. But that doesn't matter. Luck is not what get's us through life, strength is. A lucky girl is hard to come by, but a determined one is even harder to strike down."
"Since when did you get so wise?" I smiled.
Katara laughed, "I learn from you."
"Thank you, Katara," I croaked teary-eyed.
"It's what sisters do."
"You know what, I will take you up on that offer," my own words surprised me just as they did Jet.
"You're serious?" he confirmed, collecting rice cakes from the bakers.
"Yeah," Why not? Since Zuko and I obviously weren't together, there was nothing wrong.
"Well then, let's meet at Pang's Fine dining then," he said with a smirk.
I laughed, "I think you mean Pang's Fast Dining."
He leant on the pillar that supported the tent over the stall, "If I'm paying, that's as expensive as it will get."
"Hey, I am not above Pang's fast dining; I am a frequenter, actually. I'll meet you at 6," I confirmed, grabbing a rice cake and leaving.
As much as the idea of a date should have been enthralling, I knew who I wanted to actually go to dinner with, no matter how awkward it would be, and I knew I felt like I was betraying him. Even though I'm not the one who kissed another girl. Yes, maybe I had considered Jet a few times, but Zuko's image was so much brighter than his.
The evil little feeling of making Zuko jealous kept invading my mind.
It had been several days since the ordeal by the fountain, and the group had been awfully skittish around me. I must have looked like I would go up in flames at any moment. My solution to all this pain was to ignore Zuko and not address it. Because bottling it up was the most healthy solution.
"So, tell me about these freedom fighters," I asked over my bowl of rice.
"Well," Jet started, leaning back in his seat. The restaurant was busy, loud, and bustling. We sat in the outside area so that I could watch the street as it passed. "We were all orphans, banded together to fight against the Fire Nation. They were my family," Jet's expression changed, "But we made mistakes. Mistakes that couldn't be undone. So I left to start again, to right my wrongs." Yeah, I knew a lot about that.
"So, you're alone?" I asked, taking a sip from my cup of rice wine (not the finest I had had, but definitely the cheapest).
"Not with you, I'm not," Jet said smoothly, and I rolled my eyes.
I leant forward in my seat, "Look, Jet, I've met your type before. And it all went up in flames. So, how are you going to convince me this will work," I pointed between us.
"Would you have had an answer if I asked you the same question?" Jet threw back at me.
To be honest, I was stumped. I wouldn't, no. "Ok, you got me there," I smiled, taking a bite of my rice.
"What about you? Why were you working as a spy?" Jet asked me. I thought carefully before I decided how I would explain.
"The Dai Li had something...on my parents. Used it to make me work for them. Then they sent me off to some Fire Nation ships as a spy," I answered, taking another sip.
Jet leant in, "Did you ever want to beat them up?"
"Who?"
"The Fire Nation, of course," he replied.
"Oh," I laughed. "Many times. But I had a job to do. That's not to say I didn't attack someone once, though."
"Granted," Jet responded, and we both laughed. This was ok, this was going ok. He was funny, attractive, yes, and quite a bit charming. And I thought I was doing alright, even with the nagging memory of Zuko kissing that girl in the back of my mind.
"Let's get out of here," I suggested, though I had no idea where we would go.
"Jet," I addressed him as he led me to the same spot where I saw Zuko and the tea shop girl. I didn't object; we had met for the second time there, but it was bringing up some pretty visceral emotions.
"Yeah?" He replied. I stopped opposite the bubbling fountain, lantern reflections dancing on its moving surface.
"I've had a really fun time. Honestly, you're a fun guy. But...I don't think I can see this going anywhere. You'd be a great friend, though," I said, struggling to articulate myself.
He put his hands in his pockets, "Yeah, I think I figured that. Can I do one thing to see if it can change your mind?"
I nodded.
He stepped close, eyes on mine. I tensed up. He was so close one step forward would close the space. It was an instinctive thing, kissing, because I had already closed my eyes and was leaning in. I sensed he was doing the same, too. I felt his heat, his warmth, his soft breath, and he kissed me. Soft, kindly, and warmly. I leaned in, giving back what he had given.
But then I stopped.
I knew exactly who I'd rather be sharing such a moment with, and this wasn't making it any better. Though I appreciated the gesture, I did not feel such a flurry of butterflies as in other instances.
I pulled away, smiling sheepishly.
"Mind changed?" He asked.
I shook my head, "I'm sorry."
"Don't be, I get it. I'll see you around, though," he waved goodbye and walked off into an alley. Was that what someone called a rebound? I felt bad, felt bad using someone for my own inner turmoil.
"Was I interrupting something?" A familiar, bitter, and hoarse voice came from behind me.
I turned around to see someone I wouldn't have expected to be there. Zuko. The boy of my dreams and my fuming nightmares.
"Zuko?" I called out.
He looked angry. "Really? Jet?"
His words began to process in my head, and suddenly, I was even angrier than Zuko. I turned away from him, "That's rich coming from you," I laughed dryly.
"Coming from me?" he had the audacity to act confused.
"Oh, am I not standing in the exact spot?" I turned around to see the recognition pass over his face. "Yeah, I saw. So let's not try and lecture me on something you can't follow," I hissed out.
"It's not like that," Zuko tried to explain.
"You didn't kiss her? That was a figment of my imagination?" I so wished it was.
Zuko looked guilty as he spoke, "Well-yes, but-"
"-but what? What are we, Zuko? Let's start asking ourselves the big questions. I have lived my life shrouded in your mystery and vagueness! I want a straightforward answer," I demanded, clenching my fists at the sides of my light-green dress.
"A straightforward question?" Zuko repeated.
"What are we? Come on."
He, several times, began to speak but hesitated and then ceased moving his mouth at all. I waited longer than I should have, hoping he would have an answer, something to say. Hope was a silly thing, I had found out. He looked embarrassed, and I felt all the shame.
"Ok. I get it," I said coldly, turning away and starting down the path.
"Laina!" I heard Zuko call out from behind me; the earth told me he was following me down the alley. In a fit of pure rage, I stomped my foot down on the ground, raising a slab of rock as high as the buildings in the alley to separate us.
Tears could not form in the presence of my anger.
A knock came at the door. I stood up from doing nothing in the living room, only wallowing in my own sadness, and offered to answer it, "I'll get it!" Everyone else was avoiding me, I was being so awkward and grumpy, and easily agitated I was surprised they hadn't kicked me out.
As soon as I opened the door, I practically gasped, then stepped outside and slammed it in my wake. "Iroh?!" I harshly whispered to see Iroh in his tea-making robes standing outside of my door. "What are you doing here?!"
Iroh laughed heartily, "Oh, do not worry Miss Laina, I checked if your friends could see me. Come, let's walk."
I took a look back at the window wearily but left anyway. Iroh and I walked casually through the streets of the upper ring, but I was perpetually on edge. What if Toph magically earth bent a tunnel up under us and discovered me? What if Aang flew over and saw us? What if Sokka boomerang-ed all the way from the house and caught our reflection in his weapon?
"I understand you and my nephew are not on such great terms as of late," Iroh commented, catching a stray leaf of a tree in his hand.
"Uh...yeah," I awkwardly answered. Iroh guided me towards a park that I had never been to before, so at least there was little chance of anyone from the group finding me there.
"Come, sit," Iroh patted the seat next to him on the stone bench. I hesitantly sat down. "You know, I convinced Zuko to go to dinner with that girl," Iroh admitted to my shock.
"You did?" I uttered in disbelief.
"Yes. I thought it would aid him in his journey of self-discovery," Iroh cryptically answered.
"Iroh, I have no idea what that means," I replied.
Iroh placed a hand on his stomach and chuckled, "What I mean is, my nephew has a strange way of expressing how he feels. I've watched you two you know, I am not as blind to love as my nephew may think." My cheeks began to warm.
"And I have seen him struggle to consider you as a friend or more," I cringed at how intimate this conversation was.
"Iroh, this is killing me," I groaned, and Iroh laughed at me.
"Zuko said the same thing. Now, where was I...ah! I told him to go to dinner because I thought it would help him decide where he stood. But he has yet to tell me either way," Iroh answered. I ran my fingers through my hair, thoughts churning in my head. "If I knew it would upset you so, I wouldn't have."
"This is just so..." I trailed off.
"Confusing? Love often is," Iroh said joyfully. "Laina," Iroh took my hand and placed it in his lovingly, "My nephew has cared for you the moment you threw a spear into that sea serpent's mouth. He has been angry with you, but he wouldn't be if he did not care. My nephew needs to come to his own conclusion, but I can predict what that may be"
I looked at Iroh, "And what do you predict?"
Iroh smiled, "That he will see sense." Iroh stood up. "I must go before your friends realise you've been gone for too long; take care, Miss Laina, if prediction serves true, I shall see you soon."
Iroh disappeared behind the wild growth in this untrimmed part of the park. I sighed hard and buried my head in my hands, more conflicted than ever.
"Wow, I have never seen you so mopey before," Sokka rudely commented after barging into my room.
"Aren't you the sweetest?" I said with a sarcastic air.
"Come on, it's one guy. It can't be that bad," Sokka said, joining me on the ledge of the window-sill I had taken a liking to.
"It's that bad," I bit out, resting my chin on my knee.
"I have never seen someone get you so down; who is he? I can beat him up if you'd like," Sokka said, making a fist and pounding it to his flat palm.
I laughed at him, "No, that's ok, thank you though."
"You'll get through it," Sokka patted me on the shoulder.
"Of course you will!" I heard Aang chirp from my door.
I rolled my eyes, "You two are the best eavesdroppers I know."
Aang Air bent himself onto the ledge, and it was getting a tad bit squishy now. "Airbenders have exceptional hearing."
"So I've regrettably learned," I drawled out, but Aang chuckled.
"Come on Laina, cheer up, I'll personally make your favourite rice cakes!" Aang offered.
"And I'll help," Sokka joined in.
"Thank you, guys," I said, smiling, "But maybe Sokka should stay away from the rice cakes."
Sokka made a face, and Aang laughed. Sokka smacked Aang on the shoulder, and I broke out in a fit of giggles. Sokka pulled me from the ledge and guided me to the kitchen, where Aang would make me rice cakes, Toph trying to steal one every minute or so. Katara had to step in to stop Aang from burning the cakes.
It was a picturesque scene that I wished I could hold in my mind forever.
I picked up two books, one for myself and one for Katara, who was meant to come with me today. Instead, I shopped with Jing in the stead of the bed-ridden sniffly Katara.
"I do not have the attention span to read a book," Jing commented, seeming to struggle to keep up with the blurb of a book she was holding.
"Mm, I know," I responded, smirking. She smacked the upside of my head with the book, and the vendor yelled at her. She placed the book down, muttering apologies.
"Apologies for my friend, these two, please," I said to the woman behind the stall.
"4 silver."
I passed the woman my coins and took the books, placing them in my bag.
"So," I began as Jin and I walked through the night markets, "Where is your dance crew going now?"
Jing's face darkened, "We are going back to our training grounds. Our company doesn't think it wise to travel around the Earth Kingdom anymore."
"I see," I replied softly.
"War is brewing, Laina. I think it's close to tipping over to a boiling point. I'm not sure how impenetrable Ba Sing Se is going to be anymore," Jing's face was tight.
"You know?" I asked.
"About the drill? Yeah. I was working a shift in the rice field to work up enough money for an apartment when it broke through the wall. I haven't been to the outer ring since," Jing played with her hair nervously.
"But the avatar defeated it," I said, trying to inspire some hope.
"That's not enough. Don't fall into that trap."
"What trap?"
"That there's no war in Ba Sing Se. I can see you trying to believe it," Jing looked at me. I chewed on my lip. "Laina. I'm leaving tomorrow. You could come with the crew and be a real Han Dancer. You'd be safe in our training grounds in the Great Canyon." A fantastical, tempting offer indeed.
"Thank you, Jing. But if war breaks out in Ba Sing Se, I will fight it. There are many things I still need to do," I answered.
"Is Ba Sing Se really your home?" Jing asked me, confused about the reason I would stay.
I stopped walking. "No, but I have people here I can't leave. I will miss you, Jing, very much."
Jing nodded and smiled, pulling me into a warm hug. I embraced her, nestling my head into the crook of her neck.
"Well," she croaked out, "This is me. Survive the war, Laina; it is coming."
Jing stepped up the stairs towards her apartment, leading to her apartment.
"You too," I smiled and waved, Jing returning the same action and then closing the door.
I wiped at my eyes as I closed off another chapter in my life. I doubted I would reside in Ba Sing Se long enough to see her again. I took a deep breath and clutched my bag tight to my side.
"A touching goodbye indeed," A snake-like voice drawled out from behind me.
Stunned, I spun around. Long Feng stood right in front of me in this empty street. No one to see us.
"Long Feng," I whispered.
"I think we should have a chat."
Before I could respond, the Earth shifted below me and seemed to cave in on itself. I screamed out as the ground suddenly disappeared from beneath me, and I fell through the air. two seconds of darkness passed before I slammed down onto the hard ground.
I groaned, grasping at my wrist that had taken the brunt of the fall. Green light began to flicker in corners of the large chasm I had ended up in. The green flames on their torches felt warm but somehow made me cold.
It was a large room with chains hanging from above to suspend Dai Li agents. Crystal Rock grew in small groups around the edges of the empty room. And the worst part was I knew I wasn't alone. Everything was amplified in this echo chamber, even the Earth's vibrations. Someone appeared behind me, and I scrambled to stand.
Long Feng, one side illuminated in green light, and the other side basked in darkness, looked at me with calm eyes. "Did I not say we'd meet again?" He hissed out like a predator leering in on prey.
"I may recall," I responded, still holding my aching wrist.
Long Feng circled me, and my head followed his movements, "Did you think this silly little escapade of yours would work? That just because you were with the Avatar, you would be safe? And I always thought you were one of my smartest agents."
My stomach twisted, as did my lips.
"What, no witty little quip? I'm shocked," Long Feng laughed coldly. "You are confident to think you would go without consequence, that we'd simply forget. Oh, we remembered all right."
I could hear people slide down on the chains above, but I didn't look up. I was focused on Long Feng.
"To show you true discipline, to make you remember you belong to us-that you are a fugitive, I have devised a solution." Long Feng snapped his fingers, and the agents on chains descended down onto us. One grabbed me by the left arm, the other by my right. I writhed in their grip, stomping my feet to send slabs of earth flying at Long Feng. One had actually clipped him. "Did we find a teacher when we were travelling the world? That's adorable," Long Feng jeered sweetly. "Hold her down," His tone shifted.
The agents forced me down onto the floor, but I kept trying to move out of their grasp. "Get off me!" I bellowed out. They would not relent. I breathed hard and called on my inner fire, channelling it to my palms. Flames sparked wildly out of my hands as my heels dug into the earth.
"Hold her wrists together, and she won't be able to bend!" Long Feng ordered, and an agent clasped my wrists together, holding them against the ground and up above my head. Long Feng called over another agent, but I couldn't see what that agent was holding. "You see, this is what we do to the worst of our defecters. I want you to understand that, because of your illegal imposition, you are bound to us."
I could see, no feel, fire crackling on a torch near me. I strained to look at it as something was dipped into the torch, held for too long. I struggled and struggled, but the agents just held me down. Finally, the agent holding the torch took whatever he dipped in out. He came close to me, bending down and showing me what he had thrust into the flame.
A metal rod with a handle and the metal Earth Kingdom symbol on the end of it. It was a branding iron. A branding iron is used to brand Livestock. It was glowing red, and I could feel the heat from where I lay.
"Do you get it now?" Long Feng asked me.
"No-please, don't. You don't have to do this," I cried out.
"Oh, but we do," Long Feng stepped away from us.
I looked at the agent holding my hands down and recognised him. Was he Ping? Song? Whatever his name was, I recognised him. I remember him helping me clean the rice that was thrown into my tent. "Please, don't do this. Help me," I whispered, "We trained together; we know each other. let me go, please," I pleaded and pleaded, and his face twisted into guilt. But he did not twist out of his hold.
Someone lifted up my shirt, just above my naval. I kicked, but someone held down my legs. I looked in front of me to glance at the Branding Iron closing in on my stomach.
"Please! Stop!" I yelled out. I looked into the eyes of my fellow agent.
He looked away.
My skin familiarly tingled, then prickled, then seared, and then burnt under the near contact with the rod. Then it came crashing down onto my navel, and I screamed out a blood-curdling scream. My shrieks bounded off the walls as my stomach burst into singing flames. Flames that crawled up my spine and burnt a hole in my head. I could hear the steam rise off the burn. I could hear my skin sizzle.
I screamed and screamed and screamed until I passed out.
The next thing I knew, I was back on the surface, shirt lowered, flat on my back. Rain splashed down onto my body in heaping buckets fulls. Then, astounding pain shot up through my stomach, and I convulsed in agony. My shirt grazed my naval, and it felt like a thousand fire needles were pricking my gut.
I heaved, breathing as shallow as I could have.
I felt the impulse to scratch at the burn but retracted my arms; instead, I scratched the ground, pulling up chunks of earth. I clawed my way to stand, crying out as even the touch of my own skin on the burn had me writhing in pain. I stood grimacing. I took a step forward, and the stretch of my skin around the burn made my knees buckle.
I bit down on my knuckles to stop making noise and took in my surroundings. My head was a haze. Everything felt blurred and wrong. But I knew it was not the same area Long Feng had taken me in the first place. I walked in a direction, but the burn was throbbing and itching like crazy.
I couldn't dream of making it back to the house without passing out again. I used the wall for support to walk as I continued to bite down on my knuckle in an attempt to distract myself from the pain. I knew where I was going to go. I just hoped I remembered the way.
One foot in front of the other, step by step. Drawing blood from my knuckles, resisting the awful urge to scratch at my burn. I winced every step, inflamed skin trying to jump out from the awful scab I knew it was attempting to create. The rain only made my shirt cling tighter to the burn, and I couldn't tell if the wet fabric was soothing it or drowning it.
I struggled to think over my pain, struggled to navigate over the fire pounding in my stomach. Somehow, I was making it. Step by step, breathing shallow. How long had they held the iron down on me? Longer than they would on cattle.
I arrived in the humble courtyard, moss poking through the cracks in the pavement. I looked at the stairs and bit down on my lip, removing my bleeding hand from my mouth. Step-by-step, literally this time.
The 4th floor arrived, and I limped towards the numbers 403 and 404. I couldn't remember which one it was. I drew blood from my lip and finally decided on 403, coming to the conclusion that I'd have remembered it if it were the catchier 404.
I knocked on the door, movements limp and unrefined. I waited and then heard the click of a lock being undone. It swung open, and it was not Iroh who answered like I had thought, but Zuko. He looked at me with confusion, but I was close to doubling over in pain.
"What are you doing here? And why are you soaked?" Zuko asked me.
"Please, let me inside. I-" I winced, my voice was frail and much quieter than usual, "have nowhere else to go."
Zuko hesitated for a moment but stepped out of the doorway to let me in. I hobbled to the table and crashed down onto it, barely managing to make it to the chair. He closed the door.
"Why are you so-" Zuko's eyes widened, "Are you hurt?" I nodded, biting down on my lip again.
"Where's-" A painful throb of burning pain swelled over my burn again. I breathed deeply. "Where is Iroh?"
"He's out playing late-night Pai Sho. What happened?"
I closed my eyes and shook my head, "I don't want to look at it."
"Look at what?" Zuko asked, voice rising in anxiousness.
"Please, look at it for me. I don't want to look," I pleaded, holding back tears. Zuko approached me and crouched down beside me. I shut my eyes tight and lifted my shirt above where I knew the burn was.
His gasp was more than enough.
"It's bad, isn't it? It's so bad, isn't it?" I cried out, sobbing into my hands.
"It's-uh..." Zuko stopped speaking and instead practically carried me to his room. "Lay against the wall; I'm going to get you some ointment," Zuko told me, his speaking pace quick.
I still had my head in my hands, crying. The burn wasn't even the worst part. It was the fact that I knew what shape my burn was in.
Zuko pulled my hands down from my face and held eye contact with me, "Bite down on this rag. It's going to hurt."
I nodded, taking the rag and putting it in my mouth. Zuko was holding a teapot and a small tin with a cream-coloured ointment inside. He carefully lifted my shirt just above the burn. Zuko looked at me before he tipped the spout of the teapot over the area, water splashing out onto the burn. I cried out, biting down. My fingernails made scratches in the tatami.
"I have to clean it," Zuko said calmly. I nodded, but my body was saying otherwise. He poured more water and then got a cloth and blotted over the burn. I inhaled sharply. "Ok," Zuko started, making his last wipe, "This will sting, but then it will feel better. Stay still," he was firm with me, but I didn't hate it. I needed some sort of stability at the moment.
He dipped his finger into the ointment, and it gleamed in the warm lamplight of his room. I closed my eyes in anticipation. It did sting; it stung really badly. But then it felt so much better. I exhaled as Zuko rubbed it. He pulled away his finger, and I took the rag out of my mouth.
Zuko twisted the lid on the tin and sat back as I caught my breath. He looked mad. Why did he look mad? I stared at him.
"Who did this to you?" Zuko asked, voice scarily still.
"What does it matter?" I croaked, "What's done is done."
Zuko's face ticked, "Of course it matters, tell me who and I'll find them."
I shook my head, "It's the Dai Li, Zuko, there's no finding them."
"I could still-"
I cut him off, "Please, just stay."
Zuko, who had begun to get up, sank back down into his cross-legged seat. "What. Happened," He bit out, looking like he was itching to get up.
"Zuko. Please. I don't want to talk about it."
Zuko huffed, "Fine."
I watched him cut up some bandages with expert movements. I knew how as well, but there was no point in prying them from his fingers and showing off. He gestured for me to sit up off the wall. I followed, moving like a snail against the strain of my burn.
He came close, wrapping the bandage around my waist tightly. When he was finished, he pulled down my shirt. Our knees brushed against each other, and the space between us could be closed if I moved forward. "Thank you," I whispered.
Moments passed where all was quiet except for our breathing, slow and methodic. We looked at each other that gazing intensity that was anxiety-inducing yet hard to break away from. I was completely consumed by his golden eyes. Zuko raised a hand and traced his thumb over the scar on my lips. It was an action I had once experienced before, but I had never felt such a warm burst all over my body before just from such a small touch.
My hand rested across both my knee and his.
He leant in.
I put a palm on his chest, stopping him.
"Zuko. Don't kiss me just because I'm in pain, just to make me feel better," I told him, still locked in his intense gaze.
Zuko did not break it either. "I want to, not just because you're in pain." His words fell over me like a blissful blanket.
And then he leant in again, except this time I met my lips to his and his to mine. Why I thought it would be soft, I don't know. But we had shared a soft kiss before-we were past that. Our lips crashed together, and I made a sound of surprise before I shut my eyes tight and leant into it, sinking, no, melting into the warmth. My stomach's pain was but a needle in the haystack of ecstasy booming in my veins. My arms moved to his shoulders as Zuko pushed into me, and his hand moved to the nape of my neck, clutching my hair.
I actually began to rise on my knees before I had to stop from the sharp pain that shot through my abdomen. I broke away from Zuko, wincing. He looked at me with immense worry, hair slightly tussled and face flushed. His lips were blushed, too, with the recent kiss.
"Did I hurt you?" He asked brows knit together.
I looked down at the ruffled state of Zuko and smiled. He looked perfect. "No, don't worry."
"But-" I cut him off by locking our lips together again, and this time, he was the one to be surprised. But nonetheless I was soon being kissed back. In the heat of it, I began to lean against the wall. We devolved further and further into a harsher heat until-
The creak of a door opening. "Zuko?" Iroh's voice had never once made me so unhappy.
Zuko bowed his head and sighed, muttering 'uncle'. I laughed, looking at him. He stood to get up, saying, "I'll talk to him, just rest."
He shut the paper sliding door behind him. I slumped back into the wall, feeling my burning cheeks with the backs of my hands. We had actually kissed. No soft peck and then running away and then watching his ship blow up and then thinking he had died. No almosts, then interruptions. To be honest, we were interrupted, but maybe it was best we didn't go any further because now I was astutely aware of the itchy throbbing at my navel.
Who cared, though? I wiped at my lips sheepishly, even though no one watched me. I tuned into the muffled voices behind the door.
"No, it's fine, Uncle. I treated her wound, just let her rest," said Zuko to Iroh. I couldn't quite catch Iroh's reply, but no one re-entered the room. I layed back down in bed, an overwhelming amount of fatigue drowning out any pain that may have attempted to keep me awake. How was I going to explain this to everyone? A problem for tomorrow, I thought.
My mind muddled from active to not, but as it progressed into my dream state, Zuko's lips on mine were the last thing I thought of.
A/N: Been dying to write this CX. Hope you enjoyed this chapter.