Lucille Sinclair was a mystery to him.
A pretty one, that's for sure but also very fragile and brave. When he first heard her name it sounded weirdly familiar, as if he met her before but there was no image of her in his memory.
When Mack told him and Chucho about her back in March, he began to wonder. What does she look like, what color are her eyes? Are they the same as her uncle's? And most importantly, why the hell is she coming down here?
To the place he loved and hated at the same time. To the middle of nowhere, right by the border with Mexico. Laredo was small town but people here made it much bigger than it seemed. Nothing could stay as a secret here, and not even a week later everybody knew that O'Nelly's niece was going to pay him a visit. For how long? Nobody knew the answer to that.
So Javier waited. Growing more curious each day while living his routine until that one afternoon when he finally, finally met her and the reality laughed at his face.
Because she was nothing like he expected her to be. Twenty year old, awfully rich and snobby...
She seemed lost, literally. He was glad he pulled her out of that bar, immediately hit by her sweet scent that clouded his senses for the rest of that day.
Even her voice was much more pleasant than he thought, quiet but firm. Even though she looked like a lost-puppy she didn't hesitate to accept his help. She even thanked him for that. Javier couldn't remember when was the last time someone was truly grateful for his actions. She showed him gratitude for something so simple and yet managed to linger on his mind more than she should.
He left her after making sure that they got to the right place, before the stupid idea of getting to know her more would completly overhelm him.
Then he met her again. This time on his father's ranch. She said something about the eggs and Jenkins but all he could focus on were her eyes. In shade of Rio Grande at night. His favorite. Then his gaze dropped to her lips and cleavage but he was quick to snap himself out of that.
He laughed to himself at the vision of having siblings. He found it adorable. Then he quickly shook himself off of these ridiculous thoughts and went back to do what he does best -- being an asshole.
He told her to go back. He didn't want to see her anymore. Not today at least. He hurt her, he could see that by the look on her face but remained untouched. He wasn't going to spare her, to suddenly go sweet on her just because she was pretty and lost. If she wanted to live here, she should learn how.
And he would lie if he said that he didn't regret his words the second she disappeared from his sight.
He even found himself thinking about her, sitting on the porch with a cold beer in his hand. Chucho was supposed to be back any minute now but Javier wasn't in the mood for talking. He just wanted to stop thinking about Lucille Sinclair.
His father appeared fifteen minutes past eight, he parked the truck by the fence and frowned seeing his son slouching on their porch.
"Where's conejita?" it was the first that came to his mind, looking around in darkness. Javier shrugged, stopping himself from rolling his eyes at this ridiculous nickname.
"She went home. Said something about being busy or some shit."
"You were an asshole, weren't you?" he sighed, his shoulders dropping. "She's really going through a hard time, there's no need for you to give her more to worry."
"I'm not going to go sweet on her just because she's your best buddy's niece. Hell, she could be even President's daughter and I couldn't care less about her."
"Who pissed in your oat meal, huh? As far as I know you usually didn't have any problem with women. What's wrong with her?"
"She doesn't belong here." he retorted.
"You're the one to talk. Ever since you were a little boy you wanted to get out of here, see the big world. And yet you came back, after all those years of running away from your past."
"Pops, all I'm saying is--"
"I know what you mean, hijo." He interrupted. "But that doesn't change the fact that you could try to understand her. Not everybody can be strong like you and from what I've heard Lucille has been through some heavy stuff since her father died. Don't try to make things worse than they already are, son."
He patted his shoulder and went inside the house leaving him with a turmoil of thoughts in his head and even bigger desire to drunk himself to forget.
Javier had a bad feeling about her.
° ° °
The next day went pretty the same with all the chores on the ranch. Javier was in the middle of cleaning the hoofs of one of the horses, when Chucho announced that they're going for a dinner to Mack's house.
You can only imagine his face when Lucille was the one to open the door for them. Lucky for him, Chucho went past through him and greeted her with a short kiss to her hand, earning a soft smile that made him feel a sense of warmth at the bottom of his heart. Soon enough they were all in the dining room, talking about everything and nothing, both Javier and Lu consuming the empanadas in silence.
She refused to look at him. And even if she did it was only because she had to answer the question from his dad who from time to time had to kick his leg under the table to remind him of their yesterday talk.
Don't make thing worse than they already are.
But how? He already made it worse by coming here, filling O'Nelly's house with unnecessary tension. He was mad at himself and her. He should've come up with some shitty excuse, sparing himself this horrible evening he could've spent im his room, drinking his favorite whiskey.
She barely said a word, focusing on finishing her meal. Her voice was tiny and quiet, as if she was scared to speak up. She looked terribly pale and tired under the yellow light of the lamp above their heads. Mack tried to light up the mood by talking about the old times but Lucille seemed to be trapped in her own mind. She snapped out of it just when her uncle was about to wash the dishes. She quickly offered her help with that and for some reason, Javier stood up from his seat and with a blink of an eye, they both found themselves by the sink.
Mack and Chucho didn't said a word. Their looks were worth thousands of words but Javier decided to ignore them. Asshole or not he was still a gentleman and wouldn't refuse to help a lady. He rolled up the sleeves of his flannel shirt and began to wash the plates from the remnants of food while she cleaned the glasses in complete silence between them.
Don't make things worse than they already are.
"You didn't had to. I was capable of doing it on my own." she said, drying her hands on a small towel. "Thank you."
He nodded.
"It was faster this way."
She put away the rag and was about to leave when he finally gathered the courage and spoke up:
"Listen about what I said earlier--"
"It's alright, Javier." she interrupted, making him furrow his brows. "Not everybody wants me here, I get it. You don't have to explain yourself. I know you don't like me and that's understandable."
"No, I don't--" he paused to take a look at her. She looked more tired with each second, her eyes narrowing, threatening to close and let her body fall to the floor. "It shouldn't be like this."
Don't make things worse than they already are.
She gave him a sad smile, lowering her head and walking over to Chucho and Mac, mumbling a few sentences before her footsteps died in the hallway.
He joined his father by the table, cold beer already in his hand as he tried to process her words in his head.
"...and Donna called me the same day, asking for help. I was ready to drop everything to get to them but she told me to stay. Lucille locked herself in her room for three days straight, she hadn't left the bed and eventually resigned from her job. All because of that bastard who broke my little angel's heart."
Javier found himself listening to them and frowning. Was that the reason why was she this way? Why her eyes were always so lifeless?
"Hijo de puta." the curse felt unfamiliar from his father's mouth. "I know some men can be assholes but cheating on your fiancee weeks before your wedding?"
Javier felt sick. Memories flashed before his eyes, making him shoft uncomfortably in his seat, not even halfway through his beer.
"S' why she's here. After that son of a bitch ended things with her, Donna and I agreed to help Lucy get back on her feet. It was my idea to sent her here. I thought that the change would help her heal and move on. Can't really say it worked though." Mack sighed defeated, placing his hat on the table. "Poor thing s' cryin' herself to sleep every night."
Now that felt like an ultimate knife to his already broken heart. He was many things, a DEA agent, an asshole, a hearthrob...but Javier Peña knew the salty taste of his own tears. Even if he won't admit that to anybody, not even himself, he cried that night when Carillo shot the kid. As soon as he left Gabby, he came back to the unit and drowned himself in his whiskey that burned his throat, bitterness of the alcohol mixing with the the salt droplets, running down his cheeks.
Things were already worse back then. But for him there was no turning back, until now. Until he fianlly got the chance to slow down, to live the life he missed out on chasing down those bastard and watching the blood flooding the streets of Colombia.
He excused himself to the bathroom, getting a hint of direction from Mack who thankfully changed the subject. He went upstairs, slowly, trying not to make a single noise that could betray his presence here. He reached it and splashed his face with a cold water, memories from that night burning into his mind.
He gave himself a couple of minutes to steady his breathing and go back to be an asshole again. He closed the door, just finding himself by the stairs when he heard it.
A muffled cry coming down from the room on his right. Her room.
He paused, his heart kicking in his ribcage, throat squeezing with something he couldn't quite name. Guilt? Fear? His hand rested flat on the wooden door, his face leaning in to listen to the series of quiet but violent sniffles, proving that Mack was right.
Lucille was crying her heart out since the moment she came here and it didn't seem to be stopping any time soon.
Unless...someone would do something about it.
And for the first time in forever, Javier was willing to to take that risk.
° ° °
author's note: stop, they're both idiots but they're so cute 😭😭