Hey...❤️
📍HILTON BALI RESORT
Z A R A
ᴢᴀʀᴀ
"All now mi cya believe say yuh do that b," Nickoi laughs the moment my eyes lands on him. He hasn't stopped laughing since we cleaned up.
"Just stop nuh Nickoi," I say looking away. I pick up my phone.
"Jah Jah," he laughs leading the way.
I stay behind just admiring his long legs and his sexy walk. His dimples sinks deep as he reminisce on it.
He looks behind at me, reaching for me. He drapes his arm around my shoulder, looking down at me with a jeering expression.
"Deep throat a nuh your thing babes," he teases.
"You cya stop talk bout that?" I give him a bad stare. It makes him laugh again. I love to see him like this even though right now he's working for something.
Shot the bwoy a box Zara!
You nah make him twist up my jaw.
Mi a keep mi hands dem beside me. Mi nah put dem pan nobody son.
Nobody cya say yuh never learn yuh lesson.
"Mi a lowe yah alone now," he smiles and look away.
I stare up at him. His arms still draped over my shoulders.
"Time fi the last surprise," he sounds excited.
I open my phone and click on camera. He's looking away. Just observing his surroundings, something he always does by instinct. I smile and get an off guard of him.
I get lost in the moment.
When his eyes finally turns to the camera, he gives me a side eye. One that's so funny, it's impossible to hold a straight face.
"Why you a look pan me so Nickoi?" I slap my hand over my lips. I keep my eyes on him and see the dent in his cheek.
Watch him a blush.
"You ask fimme permission Miss?" his tone playful, his eyes fixed on me. Smiling I shake my head holding the phone on him.
"Permission fi wah? Fi video mi man?" I say and we both laugh.
"You good man," he licks his lips. His attention now on the manager for the resort we're staying at.
"I'm Umar Susilo. How is the stay?" His tone warm.
Nickoi turns to me for me to answer the man as if his mouth is sealed together.
Yuh see deh bwoy ya?
Him will lef yuh inna desert without water..
"A fi her moment eno..." he speaks quietly as if he isn't here to enjoy himself too. I turn my eyes back to Umar, clad in a dark blue jacket suit.
"It's so lovely here," I say sweetly. I like how free I feel when I'm here. It's like I forget about my life in Jamaica.
As you should...
"Oh, it will get better when you see your surprise," he tells me with a smile, his eyes on Nickoi. He's smiling at me.
"That she fi know," he's admiring me.
I look between them and let out a nervous laugh. "You guys make me so eager to see what this surprise is."
They both laugh and walk us inside.
"Do you like Strawberry Daiquiri?" Umar looks at me as we make our way in.
"Loveeeeee," I beam.
"Good," he chuckles, he has a calm demeanor. "Alcohol or Virgin?"
PNickoi answers for me.
"Virgin," he speaks firmly.
I shoot him a glare. He goes on to speak, in a way to get on my nerves. "She can't handle alcohol. She goes Kanye."
Umar laughs.
"Please," I roll my eyes. "I know how to handle myself."
What am I even saying?
Youuuuuuu?
Know how to handle yourself????
"You forget the video of you in the parking lot?" he reminds me.
Ask har again!
"You ever a remind me bout that and never yet show me," I kiss my teeth.
"Cause me a wait til yuh reach 17," he jokes.
"If yuh ever post no picture me nuh like essi," I try to threaten him. Obviously he doesn't take me seriously.
"A that day me a post yuh roughest picture dem, think mi a post nuhn pretty?" he teases me.
"Okay Nickoi....okay! Your birthday is a few months away, mi have a video a you a drool. Watch me and yuh!" I watch as his smile disappears.
I let out a market laugh.
Mama would be shame...
"Which video that?" Nickoi ask curiously.
I laugh. "No worry yourself. Just watch me and you."
He just smiles to himself.
I shift my attention to Umar as he tells the bartender what I want. I watch as he makes my Daiquiri.
"Here you go," Umar hands it to me.
"Thank you," I smile. It looks so good. I can't wait to taste it.
Yum!
I grasp the straw between my fingers, feeling its cool, smooth surface and gently draw in a sip of the refreshing daiquiri, savoring its taste as it flows through the straw.
I laugh at Nickoi just staring at me.
"That's all yuh good fa. Love yuh belly," he teases.
I close my eyes, kiss my teeth and drink for the better. "Ahhh," I purposely say as if I was dying from thirst.
He cuts his eyes and pick up his Hennessy with ice.
I laugh and rock my shoulder, enjoying my drink.
"Ready fi yuh surprise now?" he sips his Hennessy and place the cup in front of him. He's seated around the island.
I climb on top of one and nearly fall. He grips my waist.
I widen my eyes.
"Jesus," I gasp.
"See how yuh reckless?" his stare intense.
"Mi not even do nothing," I say in an innocent voice.
He breathes out and brings his feet down. "Come on."
I get down and he stares at me.
"I didn't fall," I say in a sarcastic tone. He's so overprotective of me. Gosh.
Now we're walking out.
"Wait," he stops me. He puts his hand over my eyes, making me laugh. How is his hand so cold? I know he was having Hennessy but his hands are freezing.
Damn.
"So wah you a expect?" he questions. I get tingles, just the way he has my back pressed to him.
"Honestly me nuh know wah fi expect," I laugh nervously. "Mi know it nice though...expensive too...really expensive."
"You got that right," he pecks my cheek.
"Bwoyy yuh hands dem cold," I bring my hand up, holding on to his wrist. My steps slow. He forces us to stop.
"Mi know it's somewhere with water cause you make sure tell me to wear swimsuit," I say tilting my head up.
An attempt to see something.
Unfortunately, I don't.
"You think yuh slick?" It's like he's pressing his hand down in my eyes.
"Jesus Nickoiiiii!"I laugh and shake my head. "You a pluck out me eye ball dem?"
He laughs and releases his hold. He still doesn't remove his hand. Just the pressure has lessened.
"Ready fi see it now?" he's happy. I don't have to see his face to know. Just the way he sounds warms my heart.
"Yes I am," I say, my heart beating like a drum.
"Alright..." he trails off, before he moves his hands. "Hope yuh like it."
I squeeze my eyes shut.
"Zara?" I can tell he's looking down at me. I laugh. I'm so eager. So eager to the point where I don't know how to act.
"Mi nuh ready fi look yet Nickoi," I turn dramatically. I hear him laughing.
"Watch har..."
I know it's gonna blow my mind. I just know it. I take a really deep breath and turn slowly with my eyes open.
When I see the pool, my mouth gapes and I just start smiling uncontrollably, both hands slapped over my mouth.
"I know you would blow my mind," I coo, it isn't just any pool. "It's really pretty."
It's a flower pool with vibrant petals cascading over the water's surface, it creates a mesmerizing tapestry of colors.
Then this pretty eeeeeeh?!!
Amidst this tranquil scene, I see a pink heart right below 'Zara' it's delicately arranged in petals, floating atop the shimmering water, reflecting the golden hues of the setting sun.
"You like it?" I give him a crazy look when he ask that.
Him serious?
"You a ask mi if mi like this?" I ask him in disbelief. He laughs. I look back at it in admiration. "This is like one a the sweetest thing ever ughhhh."
I walk in his arm and he grabs me in a hug.
"I love youuuu too," I tip on my toe and kiss his lips, purposely responding to his words through the petals.
"I love you more," he doesn't let go of me. We stay hugging. I notice the drone above us and point it out.
"Watch yah? All Drone view?" I look up at it.
"Anything for you," he leans in and place a kiss on my cheek then my forehead.
"Awww," I wrap my arms tight around him. In this moment, love bursts through us like a fragrant breeze, enveloping us in shared laughter.
Love nice is a shame..
"Ready fi jump in and mash up all a this?" he's so wild. I laugh, replicating his energy. I'm nodding.
"Well that a' after me take the picture of it," I say sweetly.
He watches as I take some boomerangs and random pictures of them. I put my phone down, just staring. Impressed. In love. Happy.
I look over my shoulder at him.
"It's sooo pretty and yuh can see say it take long..."
"Yeah so what? We affi jump in," he chuckles.
"Alright as long as we a do it together come in nuh," I giggle.
I put my straw bag down with my Jacquemus hat inside. Before kicking my transparent slides off my feet.
His phone begins to ring. He puts the phone away and comes back to me, signaling the photographers.
"How yuh wah me hold yuh? Bridal style? On mi back? Straddle?" he ask as he takes his shirt off, leaving himself in a beach shorts.
"Bridal style," I laugh.
His strong arms cradles me. It sends a rush of butterflies to my stomach. My heart racing in synch with the steady beat of his steps. My smile competing with the sun.
I already start laughing.
Nickoi jumps in the pool with us. The water makes a big splash. Petals swirls around, enveloping us in a fragrant embrace.
"The water cold eeeeh man?" I smile.
He laughs. He's really enjoying this. "You too nasty man."
He splashes me.
"Stop mash up me name!" I laugh, watching as he swims in the Zara.
He swims for the better. Now splashing me with the water. It envelops my body, sending tingles of excitement racing through your skin.
"Stop nuh," a laughter bubbles up from deep within.
He keeps splashing me. I turn my head with my hand up like a shield.
I notice that his phone keeps ringing. I don't bring his attention to it. I allow him to have the time of his life.
As I stay back enjoying the feeling of the water I watch as he comes out and dives into the water with a laugh.
He keeps doing that.
I observe him. He seems so free, it almost like he is finally experiencing his childhood. He seems wistful.
It breaks my heart.
"You love going to the pool?" I say sweetly moving toward him. Trying my best to put the best outside.
He looks over at me and smile.
"No really. Just love yuh company," he tells me.
"Mi love your company too," I place my arms around his torso.
I try to jump on his back. My first two attempts, I fail miserably. Falling down in the water. It's a lucky thing I have swimming classes at school. I try again and get on his back on my third, I laugh exhilaratingly. Gripping onto him.
He's laughing too.
"What can I get you?" The waitress approaches the pool with a smile on her face.
My phone rings. I get distracted. I have do not disturb on. Someone breaks through it, which is weird.
I swim towards my bag.
I dry my hand and reach for the phone. My heart comes to my throat while I see who's calling.
Outlaw.
I answer and press the phone to my ear.
"Hello?" I answer.
"Good day. Weh Nickoi deh?" he speaks coldly. Nickoi is nothing close.
And Nickoi voice gimme chills.
So imagine.
He continues. "You see if a ignore him a ignore me call—"
"He isn't," I lie. "He's on the outside speaking with the manger of the resort that we're staying at."
Nickoi is now staring at me.
"Oh....how is the trip?" I know he's just making conversations. He could care less about how it's really going.
"It's really good," I say. It really is.
"Lovely. Well make Nickoi know say me wah have a talk with unuh. So by a morning, mi wah see unuh. So wrap up wah unuh a do. Find my office bright and early."
I stare in shock.
"A wah?" Nickoi approaches me when I hang up.
"He sounds upset," I say and watch as Nick's face grows emotionless in a very swift motion.
"Oh," is all he says.
"He wants us home by tomorrow morning," I continue.
With a sigh I reach for the hat. The sun is pelting.
"Oh," he turns and get back towards the food. I follow him. He sits down on the side of the pool and I get between him. I hold his legs that are hanging around me.
I look at the tray of food.
"Calamari Rings" I pick up one. I put it in my mouth.
He begins to laugh. The way he's laughing makes me so curious. I keep my eyes on him staring intently.
"A wah?" I keep my eyes on him.
"Sup'm me member," he's still laughing. I know exactly what he's thinking about immediately. It makes me grow uncomfortable.
"Stop nuh," I pout. My cheeks flushed in embarrassment.
"Zara a swear youth...mi nuh think mi o' ever forget that," he shakes his head. He reaches for his phone.
"No worry yuhself a the last time mi a do dem big people sup'm deh," I cross my arms.
He takes a picture of me.
I notice him smiling, pleased. His eyes set on the phone. I stare up at him.
"You get a new wallpaper?" I smirk and squint my eyes from the sun.
"Yah..."
I stretch my hand. "Make me see that."
"You face nah show," he says as he hands the phone to me.
When I take the phone I smile at the picture.
"Pretty likkle no face no case," I wiggle my eyebrows.
"All if yuh face did a show me would a still post it," he smirks.
I smile.
"Mi never tell yuh fi log out a the page?" I playfully say.
"Who yah talk to?" he's playing along.
"Nickoi Omari Prezzi N'jai Jacobs," I list all his names.
He smiles. "Mi log out already man. Member mi father nuh want me pan the media."
"Why though?" I'm confused.
"Ask him," his shrugs. "No yuh fren?"
My smile disappears.
"I was scared that's why mi talk about it. Mi never see a gun really much less fi have one pressed to my temple. Me never did ago take that lightly," I speak calmly.
"Hmm," he looks away.
"Mi never know him would a hit yuh," I say softly.
"That good man," he brings his Hennessy to his lips.
I just stare at him.
"Okay?"
"Zara that done gone. Mi a work pan mislelf now," he's annoying.
"Mi never mean fi him embarrass you," I say with a sigh. "I didn't like how he was hitting you."
He laughs, it's far from humorous.
Then speaks coldly.
"That a the least," he shrugs as if it's nothing.
"Wow. Okay..." I look away in deep thoughts, just thinking to myself. "What you think him wah talk about this time?"
He shrugs and takes a big chug from his drink. "Very unpredictable man."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"Zara you a brite girl. Don't bother act like a' only one brains yuh know bout," he's pouring more Hennessy in his cup.
Shaking my head I pick up another Calamari ring.
"Before we go to him, there's something I'd like us to do.." I change the topic.
"Wah that?" he puts the cup down and gives me his full attention.
"A little farming," I say trying to be funny.
"Wah we a go plant?" he's smirking.
"Me?" I laugh.
He laughs too.
"Jah know..." he finds what I said so funny. He can't stop laughing.
"We planting yams, dasheen, pumpkin...ground provisions yo know?" I wink.
He keeps smiling.
I don't hold my straight face for long. A few seconds after. I'm laughing like an idiot. As long as he's being an idiot with me.
I'm fine.
****
THE NEXT DAY
📍PHOENIX PARK VILLAGE
"Titter what is wrong with Mickoi?" Qara looks up at me.
"He's...having a hard time," is the best thing I find to say. Across from me, he's just staring at the hole we dug together. He zoned out. I decided to give him space.
"Are you going to hug him?" I look down at Qara when she ask that.
I look back at him.
He needs a hug for real.
"I will," I smile and walk towards him. I lean over and hug him while standing. I slightly crouch over.
He doesn't react.
"It's hard....but mama says it will work," I say looking down at his hand in the dirt, still digging.
I move around and sit across from him, helping too. My legs crisscrossed, I'm seated on my heel.
"Nickoi it's okay.."I say and realize that our hands are laced together.
He squeezes my hand gently and reach for the plant. "A me plant the seed so I'll put it down," he tries to lighten the mood. It worked. I start laughing.
He smiles. It's sad.
"You cover it," he instructs. As he place the foot down, I push the dirt over what he placed down. I fight my tears.
"Don't bother with that," he wraps his arms around me.
"You both okay?" Mama approaches us.
I look up at her and my tears rolls down my cheeks. Nickoi keeps his head down. Mama sits down with us.
I feel nervous.
I know Nickoi too well. He's pissed by her presence.
"Nickoi...I was hard on you, but...I know I'm the last person yuh wah hear from but I don't hate you..."
It's like she's talking to herself.
She keeps going. "I want you both to listen to me. Grief is a path without a clear end, but remember, you're not alone,"she speaks softly.
He still doesn't look up at her.
I rub my hands together.
"Will we ever move on?" I stare at mama. "Mi never meet him or her but it still hurts..."
"To move on is not to forget but to carry love forward, guiding you. That's why I tell you to plant the flower it symbolizes this journey, its growth and it reflects your enduring love and the beauty that persists in memory."
She adds. "I lost my big daughter before Michelle...me even did have clothes ready for her."
She always tells me about her.
She always said she would name her Tishelle.
"How did you manage Mama?" I feel so hurt. I stare at the dirt.
"This...it's like a reminder of life's cycles, of hope."
Nickoi legs shaking. Head still down. Face expression mean.
"Just stick together," she says.
"Now we should?" Nickoi chuckles. "Hypocrite."
"Nickoi," I say and hold his hand.
Mama stares at him.
"I know it's hard for you too not just Zara. But you'll get through it and your baby will forever be in your heart."
He picks up his phone and checks the time. He still doesn't respond.
She pats his shoulder and stand to her feet, walking away slowly.
"She's trying..." I stare at him.
He stands and walks towards the pipe as if I'm not talking to him. He washes his hand. "Come on."
"Weh we a go?" I ask as I wash my hand.
"To the meeting Zara."
Oh, I didn't even remember about that.
"Okay."
*****
📍UNDERGROUND, DYKE ROAD
"So yuh nah talk wah yuh do?!" I stand in rage, rolling my head. She seems nervous. It makes her aggressive and defensive.
Busss it up Zara busss it up!!!
Nicki holds on to Marsha who wants to fight me so bad.
"Wah me do?!" she shouts.
Outlaw sits in silence. Just watching the occurrences. Nickoi glaring outside, legs shaking.
This is how the meeting is going.
We don't get to talk. The moment I stepped in, she's up trying to fight me.
"Mi call fi get help and yuh a talk bout how yuh deh a vacation! You a distract him and yuh stink and brite a talk bout me a kill up miself over Nickoi?!" her face red.
"Aren't you though?" I don't move my eyes from her.
She runs off and grabs me. Outlaw gets in between us. "DON'T TOUCH HAR!" he pushes her back.
Nicki grabs her. "Marsha! Is a 16 year old girl this! Janel age! Yuh cya' put yuh hand pan har!"
"She too disrespectful!" Marsha argues back.
"You sure a that a yuh problem?" I ask her. I'm irate.
She was about to sit. When I talk she snaps around again. "Wah a mi problem?" She walks towards me.
Outlaw looks at her. She turns back.
"You a wah likkle w—"
"Easy," Outlaw's cold voice demands silence. I just stare at Marsha.
Chat pan har!
He walks around the room.
"It's like unuh a beat round the bush eno! Unuh wah deal with the issue or waste me f——time!?" his voice fills the room.
I jerk back.
Raatid!
Marsha is just breathing hard.
"Marsha have it say yuh disrespect her. Did you?"
"Mi grandmother would a say every action has a reaction," I answer, my tone calm.
"A some woman thing this eno...and me nah spend more than five minutes a do this. The only reason mi a deal with this a because a me woman," he tells me.
Nicki is just staring at her son.
"Marsha is har best friend, and since yuh inna the family now yuh ago see each other and me nuh wah the Pitney thing. Marsha a big woman and she a N'jai God mother and me wouldn't wah nuh tension with unuh. But it's like unuh have sup'm else unuh wah talk bout! So talk now! Mi a hear!"
"God mother?" I ask her.
She glares at me.
"Wah yaw try say?" Nicki ask. She's getting an idea and her complexion is getting red. She's a female Nickoi basically.
"A that mi wah know too!" Marsha raise her voice.
"How yuh fi be him God mother and a do dem thing deh to him?!" I shout. Outlaw takes a seat, Nickoi looks at me.
"Done..." he speaks firmly.
Marsha defends herself.
"You see me do nutt'n? True yuh insecure yah project yuh insecurities pan me? Mi a big woman!" She steps off on her lead leg and turn.
"You never think that when yah teach him things?"
"Teach him wah?" Outlaw spins on his chair, a poker in his hand. Eyes like midnight. Voice stone cold.
"She did a groo—"
"Done..." Nickoi repeats.
Outlaw laughs and gets serious. He gets a gold gun from a safe, he puts it on the table and sits down. Nicki stares at him.
"Wah she did a do?"
"From him a 12 she a gro—"
Nickoi gets up in rage and shouts. "MI SEH FI SHUT UP!"
I turn to look at him.
"Tell yuh woman fi nuh tell no lie pan me," she's staring at him.
It isn't just any stare.
It's weird.
It's my first time seeing this. Nickoi is completely calm. It's like he's trapped by her, he resents her, still he's connected to her psychologically.
Wah the baxide this?
Nicki slams the door loudly. Marsha is communicating with her eyes, she makes it seems like I'm insecure.
He looks at me. "Done it."
His father is so scary, he holds the cue stick and shoot the balls in the pool. He hits all the ball and turns to look at us again, pointing the gun at Marsha.
She doesn't even see that a gun is pointing to her head.
I freeze in place.
What happens next makes my heart shatter to the ground.
Nickoi pulls out his gun and point it at his father.
Mi do all a this....FI THAT?!
***
🏴☠️
.....I do hope yall understood what that was🐿️
—creativegang🧚🏾♀️