LANE
I want to touch it.
I want to touch Julius' hair.
And play with it.
Don't get me wrong, but it looks so soft and yummy. I want to rip it off his head and never give it back to him. But I can't do that.
I sigh, disappointed.
"What's wrong?" I snap out of my thoughts when I hear his voice and I realize that we're still on our way to my house. With my lack of money and not wanting Julius to spend his money on me, we are going back home, unfortunately.
"Nothing." I don't want to go back home. I don't want to be all alone again in my room.
Even if we know each other for only a week, I feel like Julius is my best friend. Everyday I wait for him to text me and he does, it makes me so happy to have a friend like him. To have a best friend like him. I consider him one, but what about him? Does he think of me as his best friend?
"We're here." I should stop zoning out. It always startles me when people say something and I flinch because I was zoned out. "See you..." I interrupt him.
"Uhm, if you want to, we can hang out at mine for a while. You will get to see Loki." Did I just invite a boy into my house? Yes. Am I feeling nervous? Absolutely.
His eyes are wide open and stays speechless for a moment but then grins at me. "I'd love to." My stomach does weird things that makes me feel things.
Why do I feel like this whenever I am around Julius? Why do I feel so nervous about him? Why does he make my face red whenever he compliments me or says something flirty jokingly?
We step inside my apartment and I am proud and grateful that I decided to clean the house to day. I hear a 'meow' below me and I look down to see Loki welcoming me back.
I pick her up and show it to Julius. "Say hi to Julius, Loki." I sweet-talk to her, even if she doesn't understand what I am saying.
She looks at him then she jumps down and goes to him, clinging around him to pick her up. He picks her and kisses her head. "Hi, little girl." He hugs her like she's a baby in his arms.
"Let's go in my room." He nods, agreeing and I lead him there. We enter, I take a look around my room, thinking what does he feel about my room? It's plain a little, no posters or pictures on the wall, or toys laying around. I have light purple walls, a queen size bed with grey bed sheets, a white wardrobe and table and a white and purple curtains.
I really liked purple when I was a kid.
Before we moved here, I was seven years old and my mom let me choose how my room to be, I was excited that I could do that and immediately said purple.
"I like your room." Julius says and I find myself blushing, I say thank you and signal him to sit down on the bed next to me.
He comes with Loki still in his arms. How does she like staying in his but not in mine or others? Julius must really have that effect on everyone.
"Do you only live with your mom?" He asks me all of a sudden. I nod.
"Yeah, my parents are divorced, but my dad still visits me sometimes." I continue, "What about you?"
"I live with both." He answers and looks kind of dissatisfied? Not wanting to pressure him into saying something he doesn't want to or something like that I change the subject.
"I like your hair." I blurt out and I want to disappear. I couldn't think of anything better to say. He glances at me while he plays with Loki on his lap and smirks.
I smile shyly back at him.
I stare at how he talks and plays with Loki and realise something, I never would thought of.
I like Julius. In a romantic way.
It's not how he treats me, but just how he is generally. Everything about him just reminds me of the man I always dreamed about. The man I need in my life. The someone I was searching for.
And I finally found him.
But why he would want someone like me? I am nothing special. I have nothing good about myself.
No, no, no. Don't cry in front of him again.
I look at my palms on my lap and see they are trembling. I try to stop it but it doesn't.
I hear shuffling around me and then I see Julius' head pop into my view. Basically, his head is on my lap. I glance at him and he softly smiles at me, reaching his hand to wipe a tear from my eyes that I didn't notice.
"You weren't listening to what I was saying." Oh. I take my gaze away from him and notice that Loki left my room, probably to eat.
"Everything's okay?" I slightly nod my head. Now it is. Because you interrupted my shitty thoughts.
We stay in silence. It's a very loud silence.
His head is still on my lap and I try not to explode right now. "Julius?" I am answered with silence. Did he just fall asleep? On my lap?
I stop my hand from touching his hair. I really want to touch it. Just a little bit. He wouldn't notice, right?
Slowly touching his hair, I immediately melt. I was right, it's so soft and fluffy. I want to eat it. I play with it for some seconds then take my hand away before I start pulling it out of his head.
"Why did you stop?"
Huh?
What?
He was awake all this time?
Julius takes my hand and puts it back on his hair, I slowly play with it and I see a smile forming on his face. I guess, he isn't feeling uncomfortable.
I should enjoy this moment as mush as I can before all of this between us goes away.
***
Why is it so hot in here? I am sweating here.
Opening my eyes, I see that I am still wearing the clothes I wore yesterday night and a blanket on me.
Huh? Where is Julius? How did he leave?
Then a breeze of wind hit me. I guess he must've jumped out of the window. It's a little high, I live on the second floor, he must be hurt somewhere.
I search for my phone to text him.
hi julius
did u get home safe?
Julius
good morning lane
dw, everything is good, we live close to each other anyway
I appreciate his message because I don't know how to continue the conversation. Still, he replied fast, he always does and I like it.
I change into my home clothes and wash myself, after I get out of my room where I meet my mother in the kitchen.
"Good morning, mom." I tell her, approaching the table.
"Good morning, dear." She kisses my cheek and puts my breakfast on the table. "I have the day off today. Want to go out to eat later?" She asks me as she sits opposite me.
"Of course." I smile, finally getting some mother and daughter time. After days of working and working.
Hours pass by fast surprisingly and I get ready to go out. For me, it's fast, but for my mom, oh boy, hours.
When my mom finally is dressed, I kiss Loki on the head and bid her goodbye. Leaving the building along with my mom, we get inside her car.
Me being in the passenger seat, I choose what music to play while she drives. We are near an intersection and I look at the window, watching people on the side road.
We stop at a red light, in the corner of a street because we have to make a turn at the next intersection.
I turn my head to the window again, then I see someone familiar, walking.
Nicholas.
Amayah's crush.
Julius must be close by, right? Nicholaa is always out with his group. I recognise some friends of his as they come to walk along with him.
Then I see the love of my life, Julius. I watch as he laughs with someone, it's disappointing I can't say hi to him.
He suddenly turns his head in my direction, like he sensed someone staring at him and I think he saw me because he smiled and waved.
I wave at him, not sure if he can see it but then he waves his phone. I take my phone out from my pocket and see a text from him.
Julius
where are u going?
to a restaurant with my mom
have fun
I find myself smiling and blushing at his texts.
"Who was that?" My mom's voice make me flinch. I forgot she's here, next to me.
"Who?" I try to play dumb.
"The one outside who waved at you." She quirks an eyebrow up and smiles.
"Uhm, just a friend." My mom sighs after hearing this.
"That's what they all say."