Lee Ann knew that she had done the right thing. In the first place, she was always upfront with Niko about her feelings. But, she wasn't sure why she felt a slight pain in her chest as she watched her friend walk away.
"Ano ba 'to, Lee Ann, don't tell you are hurt?" she loudly asked herself.
Don't tell me you're confused? she quietly added in her head.
She hated the train of her thoughts because even though she knew it was Nick she loved, she was beginning to think she might be cheating on Nick emotionally as he had said.
"Ano ba kasi 'yang emotional cheating na 'yan? Nakakainis, magmula n'ung sinabi ni Nick 'yun, I couldn't help but feel na ginagawa ko nga 'yun..." she grumbled to herself.
You're not cheating on your fiancé, Lee, emotionally or otherwise...she thought to herself with resolve before expelling a heavy breath.
She was about to stand to head to the library when her phone started ringing.
"Ate Liaaaaaa!" she said over the phone unable to hide her smile.
"Lee Annnnn!" her sister replied.
They both burst out laughing.
"Halata talaga ang mga in love at malapit nang ikasal kasi sobrang masayahin."
"Si Ate naman, mas lamang ka naman sa akin pagdating sa happiness, ano, kasi ikinasal ka na."
"Asus. Sa huwes oo, pero, sa simbahan mas mauuna ka."
"Gusto mo bang mas mauna kayong ikasal ni Kuya Dustin sa church, Ate? I can talk to Nick—"
"Hoy, walang gan'yanan. Alam mo ba kung gaano ka-excited si Nickolai na ikakasal na kayo? Ay, naku, n'ung minsang narinig ko silang nag-uusap, halatang-halatang hindi s'ya makapaghintay na magiging Mrs. Lee Ann Sandoval ka na. He kept on asking about the wedding preparations at kung ano raw ba ang maitutulong n'ya 'tapos 'eto ka balak s'yang kausapin na i-postpone muna?"
"Hindi naman sa gan'un, Ate..."
"What's wrong?" Lia asked her younger sister. "Don't tell me you are getting cold feet, ha, kasi sa pagkakaalam ko naka-diaper ka pa lang ay si Nickolai Sandoval na ang pangarap mo sa buhay."
Lee Ann laughed. "Grabe naman 'yang naka-diaper, Ate Lia."
"Bakit, hindi ba? At sa pagkakaalala ko, 'yang si Nick dumidiretso 'yan sa mansyon para patulugin ka ng hapon bago umuwi sa kanila kasi hinihintay mo s'ya palagi at hindi ka natutulog kapag hindi s'ya ang nagpapatulog sa'yo. Grabe, baby sister, come to think of it, ang landi mo na pala kahit n'ung bata ka pa, ano?"
Lee Ann doubled over in laughter. "Sobra ka namang mang-bash, Ate. Siyempre n'ung bata pa ako ay hindi ko alam na crush ko pala si Nickolai, ano. Ang alam ko lang gusto ko s'yang palaging nakakasama at hindi buo ang araw ko kapag hindi s'ya nagpapakita."
"See, eh, 'di, maharot ka na nga noon pa man."
They laughed again.
"Anyway, tumawag ako kasi nga we've narrowed down the bakers who will make your wedding cake. From 7 ay naging three na lang. Alam mo naman kung gaano ka meticulous si Alexa sa ganitong ganap at gusto n'yang sumama ka sa amin sa cake-tasting."
"Kailan 'yan, Ate? I'm free this Saturday."
"Si Nick free rin ba? Our husbands are coming along. Family affair na itong cake-tasting na ito. Isasama nga namin dapat si Tito Ferdz pero alam mo naman ang bilis na n'yang mapagod at medyo doon na s'ya naglalagi sa farm nila sa Pampanga dahil mas nakakapag-relax daw s'ya d'un."
"I think Nick is free, too, Ate. Wala naman s'yang nabanggit na lakad."
"Okay, so ganito, punta na lang kami d'yan sa mansyon ngayong Sabado para sabay-sabay na tayong umalis."
"Okay."
"Hm..."
"Bakit, Ate?"
"You don't sound so excited. What's wrong?"
"Excited naman ako, Ate."
"Ako nga ay h'wag mong chinuchurva d'yan. May problema ba?"
"Wala naman...."
"Ano nga 'yun? Talk to me. Makikinig ako."
"It's about Nicko."
"Okay..."
"Nag-usap na kasi kami n'ung nakaraan..."
"N'ung bigla kang nag-disappearing act."
"Oo. And I told him na kaibigan lang ang turing ko sa kanya and even if Nick and I would go our separate ways, na malabo namang mangyari or else ay ipapakulam ko s'ya, hindi pa rin magiging kami kasi kaibigan ko lang s'ya."
"And...?"
"And today, he said that he couldn't control his feelings. Na i-pu-pursue raw n'ya ako at humihingi s'ya ng chance..."
"Chance? Anong chance?"
"Na ano raw, na ligawan ako. Ang sabi n'ya he can make me happy..."
"What did you say?"
"Sabi ko na si Nick ang mahal ko. But, I don't know, Ate, when Nick and I had an argument he told me that I was emotionally cheating on him kaya tuloy nasa utak ko na baka naman tama si Nick at nag-chi-cheat ako sa kanya emotionally."
"Okay, isa-isahin natin, ha. Unang-una, Nicko has no business asking for a chance because you are in a relationship and you are about to get married. For me, that's just plain disrespectful. Parang sinasabi n'yang mangaliwa ka para sa kanya. I mean, seryoso ba na gan'un kababa ang tingin n'ya sa'yo? What kind of a human being would even tell someone to do that much more a human being claiming to be your friend?"
Lee Ann nodded realizing that her sister was right. "Sabagay, Ate..."
"Pangalawa, he is trying to manipulate you into leaving Nick by making you feel bad like this. Hindi ko alam kung nagpapaawa ba s'ya o nambubwisit lang, pero, katulad ng sinabi ko sa'yo noon, if I were in your shoes, mabubwisit ako dahil sa edad kong ito ay ayoko nang kinukulit. At pangatlo, Lee, I don't want to agree with Nick and call this thing with you and Nicko as emotional cheating because I know that you are better than that, pero, you having that reaction towards Nicko is..."
"Emotional cheating?"
"Yes," Lia stated bluntly. "Baka hindi mo sadya at hind naman talaga 'yun ang intensyon mo pero it is what it is since Nicko is able to stir this kind of feelings from you."
"Wala akong gusto sa kanya, Ate."
"Let me play the devil's advocate by asking you, sigurado ka ba talagang wala kang gusto sa kanya?"
"Oo naman," Lee Ann vehemently replied. "I only see him as a friend."
"Let me play the devil's advocate again, baka naman akala mo ay kaibigan lang ang tingin mo sa kanya because you are so fixated on marrying Nickolai pero ang totoo ay nagkakagusto ka naman pala talaga kay Nicko yet you're just too stubborn to admit it."
Lee Ann didn't reply.
"Lee, you are entitled to your happiness. But that doesn't mean that you can just go break a person's heart to have it. Ang sinasabi ko, dapat alam mo kung ano ang totoo mong nararamdaman, that way you won't end up regretting marrying someone and hurting that person because you will eventually realize na iba naman pala talaga ang mahal mo."
"I love Nickolai, Ate. At siguradong-sigurado ako sa nararamdaman ko."
"Good. Everything is settled then. Mahal mo si Nickolai, mahal ka n'ya at magpapakasal kayo. That's your truth. But, someone is trying to ruin that truth. Nickolai might be too much of a gentleman to say this to you or maybe he doesn't want to be branded as controlling kaya hindi n'ya sinasabi pero ako wala akong pake kaya sasabihin ko. Layuan mo si Nicko. This fixation he has with you is not healthy for you and your relationship with Nick."
"Ate, we're just friends."
"Uy, Lee Ann, ako nga h'wag mong ini-echos d'yan, flattered ka ba na na-ba-validate ni Nicko iyang ganda at desirability mo that's why you are keeping him as quote-unquote a friend?"
"Hindi naman, Ate, eh..."
"Baby, I want us to be honest with each other. Tatlo na nga lang tayong magkapatid, eh."
"Well...medyo na-flatter ako n'ung una..."
"Ayokong ipamukha sa'yo ito, baby sister, pero hindi na okay 'yan, ha. Alam mong mahal na mahal kita at kaya kong pumatay para sa'yo pero hindi ko ito-tolerate 'yang gan'yang klaseng pagmamaganda. Sigurado ka na, 'di ba, na si Nickolai ang mahal mo, then set Nicko free. Dapat palayain mo 'yang kaibigan mo by not giving him false hopes because honestly, 'yan ang ginagawa mo, Lee. Dahil hindi mo pinuputol itong kahibangan n'ya by setting boundaries ay pinapaasa mo s'ya."
"I already told him that he is just a friend, isn't that setting boundaries, Ate?"
"And he just told you in so many words that he is crossing that boundary you set by telling you his intentions. Ibig sabihin, you need a firmer boundary than that. You need to draw the line, Lee Ann, kaya utang na loob iwasan mo 'yang lalaking 'yan."
Lee Ann sighed.
"Ay, h'wag kang may pagbuntong-hininga d'yan, baby sister. Ito tanong ko, kung si Nick ba nagkaroon ng girl best friend na alam mong who has the hots for him, magiging masaya ka ba kapag hindi n'ya iniwasan 'yung babaeng 'yun? Are you just going to say, na-establish naman n'ya na kaibigan lang ang turing n'ya d'un so for sure walang plano ang babaeng 'yun na paghiwalayin kami?"
"Natural hindi..."
"O, 'yun naman pala," Lia said before she sighed. "Lee, I'm sorry if I am being harsh but I couldn't stand cheating in any form. I know that for you, Nicko is just a friend, I get you. Pero, hindi kaibigan ang turing ng batang 'yun sa'yo. Alam ko rin kung bakit nagdadalawang-isip kang bitiwan si Nicko and it's because he is your closest friend baka nga best friend pa ang turing mo sa kanya. But, Lee, he declared his intentions and you continuing to be friendly with him only comes across as you being okay with the whole thing."
"Not at all, Ate..." Lee Ann quietly said. "The truth is, I want to help him find a woman that he'll adore. Maybe you're right, the attention flattered me a little pero wala naman akong balak mangaliwa. Pinanghihinayangan ko 'yung pagkakaibigan namin because Nicko was there for me when I was at my lowest. Kahit alam n'ya na si Nickolai ang gusto ko n'ung mga panahong 'yun, he still remained my friend. I don't want to be the ass who just left her friend because she found her someone special."
"Okay. Then be prepared for the consequences, Lee. You can't always have your cake and eat it, too."
"Pag-uusapan po namin ni Nickolai 'yung tungkol dito. I will reassure him na walang halong kahit ano itong friendship na in-offer ko kay Nicko. I know Nick will understand."
"Will he? Kasi kung ako ang nasa lugar n'ya ay hindi ko maiintindihan."
"Ate Lia..."
"Real talk tayo, Lee. I wouldn't understand if Dustin has a female close friend kasi selosa akong tao. Kahit wala silang gagawin ay mapupuno ng pagdududa ang utak ko. At kapag itong utak ko ay napuno ng kabwisitan ay mang-aaway ako. Baka nga maghiwalay pa kami."
"Nick isn't like that."
"Hindi santo 'yang mapapangasawa mo, uy. Tao 'yan. Lalaki 'yan. May pride 'yan. At kahit sabihin n'yang okay lang, I know deep down it isn't. Kasi sinong tanga naman ang papayag na may ibang ka-close na tao of the opposite sex ang taong mahal nila? And that's not being insecure, ha, it's safeguarding what's yours. But in the end, magdadaldal lang naman ako rito pero desisyon mo pa rin at ikaw pa rin ang masusunod. Please, manimbang ka kung ano ang mahalaga, 'yung relasyon ninyo ni Nick na lalaking pakakasalan mo o 'yun pagkakaibigan ninyo ni Nicko? You're a smart young woman, I hope you'll use your head."