The distant hum of rush hour traffic filters through the partially open window, awakening to the bustling city beyond these walls. Despite the urban cacophony, the usual haunting whispers of my nightmares are mercifully absent. For the first time in what feels like an eternity, I wake to a peaceful morning. No haunting visions of past horrors, no suffocating grip of fear–just the silence and flow of unconsciousness, like a calm sea beneath a starlit sky. It's a rare reprieve, one that fills me with tentative hope as I emerge from the depths of sleep.
Taking a deep breath, I stretched languidly beneath the covers, relishing in the comforting warmth of the blanket that envelops me like a protective shield. Each movement is deliberate, a conscious effort to savor the simple bliss of waking without the weight of nightmares pressing down on me. As I shift beneath the sheets, the fabric rustles softly against my skin, causing a soothing sound that fills the room with tranquility.
With a contented sigh, I let my gaze wander around the room, taking in the familiar surroundings of Bucky's quaint room bathed in the soft morning light. Everything seems to hold a quiet serenity, from the way the light dances across the walls to the gentle sway of the curtains in the breeze. It's a moment of pure calmness, a rare respite from the chaos that often occurs within and without.
With renewed energy, I swing my legs over the edge of the bed and sit up, brushing back my flyaways with my fingers. It's a small gesture, but one that serves as a reminder that I am here, in this moment, alive and awake. How rare and beautiful it is to even exist. Pushing myself to my feet, I pad across the room on my bare feet, relishing in the cool touch of the hardwood floors beneath me. The sounds of the city grow louder as I approach the window, the rush of traffic mingling with the chirping of birds. It's a symphony of life moving forward, reminding me that the world continues to turn, regardless of the trials and tribulations that I may face.
Pushing back the curtain, I admire the street below, watching people make their way through their own lives. The sight fills me with a quiet sense of gratitude from this moment of respite. For a second, it's as though I've woken in a different life, one that breaks me away from the chains that once bound me, free to embrace the beauty of the present and promise of a future. However, there is no escaping the truth. I know that I may be walking around this planet with a target on my back, but luckily for me, I know how to handle those kinds of situations.
Leaving the window behind, I follow the enticing aroma of bacon and coffee wafting through the air, drawing me out of the room and into the cozy embrace of the kitchen. As I push open the slightly ajar bedroom door, I find Bucky moving about with practiced ease, the rhythmic clatter of pans and sizzling bacon filling the room with a comforting echo of sounds.
Leaning against the door frame, I watch him with a soft smile, admiring the way he effortlessly navigates the space. The morning light casts a warm glow over him, accentuating the lines of his figure. He looks almost heavenly. A soft laugh escapes me as he turns, catching me in the act of admiring him. His eyes twinkle in amusement as he raises an eyebrow, a playful smirk tugging at the corners of his lips.
"Enjoying the view?" he quips, his tone light and teasing as he gestures to the sizzling pan in front of him.
I chuckle, feeling the warmth of a blush creeping onto my cheeks. "Just taking in the sight," I reply, unable to take my gaze away from him.
As he turns backs to finish up his cooking, a contented smile on his lips, I can't help but feel grateful for this moment of simple joy, for the chance to bask in the warmth of his presence. Truly the only sense of normalcy I find is always with him. We've spent a lifetime by each other's side, but this is different. This feels more natural than what came before. And I'm content with that.
With a warm smile, Bucky hands me a steaming cup of coffee, the rich aroma enveloping me in its comfortable embrace. Gratefully, I take it, inhaling deeply before taking a sip, the smooth, bitter flavor awakening every one of my senses. He busies himself momentarily by fixing two plates, his movement fluid and efficient. Soon, he joins me at the table, placing a plate of bacon, fluffy scrambled eggs, and golden toast in front of me. The sight and smell of the delicious spread makes my mouth water, and I thank him with a smile as I take my first bite.
We eat together in a comfortable silence, the only sounds from us are the clinking of utensils against plates and the occasional contented hum of appreciation. It's a simple moment, a serene one, but one filled with warmth and companionship, a reminder of the simple joys that life has to offer.
As we finish our meal, Bucky leans back in his chair with a satisfied sign, a contented smile gracing his lips. "So, what did you learn when you went back to your old job?" he asks, breaking the silence. His gaze is curious, but there's also a hint of concern in his eyes, a silent invitation to share whatever it is that I hid from him.
As I take another sip, Bucky's question catches me off guard, almost choking on my coffee. I pause for a moment, considering my response. "Oh, just some old paperwork from the cases I worked on," I reply casually, hoping to brush off his inquiry. But even as the words leave my lips, I can already sense the skepticism in his gaze.
Bucky arches an eyebrow, his expression knowing. "Just paperwork?" he questions, his tone laced with amusement. "You're a terrible liar, Princess. What's really going on?"
Caught off guard by his perceptiveness, I feel a pang of guilt tug at my conscience. I know he sees right through my facade, seeing my true feelings about the matter beneath the surface. With a sigh, I set down my coffee cup, meeting his eyes with a mixture of resignation and reluctance.
"Okay, fine," I admit, relenting under his scrutiny. "The truth is, it wasn't just any kind of paperwork. It was a damning trail of evidence, chronicling my father's collision with Hydra from the very beginning. He... offered me over to them."
Bucky's expression shifts from skepticism to concern, his eyes narrowing as he processes the words coming out of my mouth. And then, I see the anger growing within him. "He.. sold you?" he repeats, his voice trailing off as if grappling with the enormity of what I'm about to reveal.
I nod, the memories of his betrayal and manipulation flooding back with painful clarity. "It started long before I ever realized," I explain, my voice steadying as I delve into the depths of my own past. "Contracts, agreements...my father was knee-deep in Hydra's corruption, and he dragged me down with him."
I can see the pieces falling into place in his mind, the realization of my father's treachery dawning on him like a cruel revelation.
"They had documentation on me," I continue, my voice growing stronger as I recount the damning evidence I uncover. "Years of observation, manipulation, tactics...they knew every detail of my life, every vulnerability to exploit. But even then, even when I was no longer me, I never made it easy for them."
Bucky's jaw tightens, his hands curling into fists at his sides as the extent of my father's betrayal lays bare out in the open.
"He orchestrated everything. From the moment I was born, my life was planned out for me," the words feel like daggers as they pass through my lips. I manage a weak smile, the weight of my burden momentarily eased by his understanding. "I never had a choice," I admit, the bitterness of truth tainting my words. "This life... it was all I was ever meant for."
Bucky meets my gaze as he reaches across the table, his hand finding mine in a silent gesture of solidarity. "You were just a child," he says softly, his voice filled with empathy.
I shake my head slightly, the warmth of his touch offering a brief respite from the darkness that clouds every corner of my mind. "But that doesn't change what happened," I murmur, the weight of it all pressing down on me like a suffocating blanket.
"No," Bucky agrees, his gaze unwavering. "But that doesn't define you either."
His words are a lifeline in the darkness, a reminder that even with this information and the scars that come with it, there's still a glimmer of hope for the future. I've been surrounded by a labyrinth of lies and deceit my entire life; they have woven themselves into the fabric of my being. But the silence lingers, heavy with an unspoken truth and painful revelations. But instead of letting the conversation end there, Bucky's voice cuts through the quiet like a blade.
"And what about him?" he asks, causing me to raise a brow, confused.
I pause, momentarily thrown off balance by his questions. "Him who?" I ask, my mind racing to catch up with the sudden shift of focus.
Bucky's expression darkens, his eyes locking in on mine with an intensity that sends a shiver down my spine. "Blake," he says simply, his voice a low, ominous rumble. "What did you find out about him?"
The name sends a jolt of recognition through me, a memory that had been buried deep within my mind, suddenly clawing its way back to the surface. I've put trying to figure his existence out on the back burner, but I guess this is where everything comes to a face. "Oh, him," I say, my voice trails out, my mind racing as I search for the right words. "I thought he was an accountant or something... my father offered him a job when we were supposed to get married. I found that he was on his payroll, but that's about it."
Realization dawns on his face, a fleeting shadow of concern. He looks at me, his heart heavy, and I don't know what to think. Of all the things in my life that I've remembered, this is the one part that has haunted me. A subtle frown appears, his thumb gently rubbing the top of my hand. "Oh, Avalon, you don't know," he murmurs, his tone heavy with regret.
I wait, a knot forming in my stomach as I anticipate his next words.
"Blake... he wasn't just an accountant," he begins, his voice grave and solemn. Bucky's words hit me like a freight train, the shock and disbelief coursing through my veins like wildfire.
I feel my breath catch in my throat, my mind struggling to process the implications of his revelation. "What do you mean?" I manage to choke out, my heart begins to beat rapidly in my chest. Before he says anything else, I know what he's going to say, but I just can't believe it. Lonnie, I need you to calm down.
"He's like us, Avalon. A super soldier."
The truth lands with a gut-wrenching force, the implications echoing through the very core of my being. Everything I thought I knew about Blake, about my past, about myself, crumbles in an instant, replaced by the stark reality I can hardly comprehend. Blake, the man who I vaguely remember, who I was supposed to love, is now something else entirely–another pawn in a game much larger than either of us could have ever imagined
"And what did they want from him?" I ask, my voice struggling to make my words out, afraid of what his answer might be. If you need me to deal with this, I can. You just say the words.
Bucky's expression darkens, his eyes reflecting a turmoil of emotions I can barely comprehend. "They promised him power, influence, everything he ever wanted," he explains, his words heavy with the weight of truth. "But it all came with a price."
My heart clenches at the thought, the realization sinking in like a stone falling to the bottom of a lake. "What price?" I manage to choke out, afraid of what he'll say next.
His eyes fill with a sorrow that makes my heart drop into my stomach. "He had to promise one thing," he says, trying to ease the blow of his words. "When the time came, he would be the one to take you out... without hesitation."
The words hang in the air like a death sentence, their meaning crashing down on me like a ton of bricks. In this moment, everything shifts, the world around me tilting on its axis as I come to terms with the horrifying truth of everything involving my own existence.
"Everything he ever wanted huh?" I remember his soft humming, the gentle touch of his fingers in my hair, even that look in his eye. I thought it was love. "I guess that wasn't me."
This awareness is like a dagger to the heart, twisting and turning as it tears through the fabric of my reality. What I once believed to be was nothing more than a charade, a carefully crafted illusion designed to keep me blind from the truth.And now, faced with the harsh reality of Blake's betrayal, I can't help but wonder how many other lies I've been fed. How many other truths have been twisted beyond recognition, all in the name of Hydra's insidious agenda.
But as the answer and betrayal swell within me, so too does a steely resolve. I refused to be this pawn. From this moment on, I will uncover any lie, every deception, until I am finally free from the shackles of Hydra.
A heavy silence falls on us again, punctuated by only the faint sounds of the city outside. I feel numb, disconnected from the world around me as I try to process the devastating revelation that Blake, the man who is a haunting spector in my dreamscape, was nothing more than a pawn in Hydra's twisted game.
Unable to bear the weight of the truth any longer, I rise from my seat and make my way to the window, needing the cool midday air to clear my muddled thoughts. Standing by the open window, I gaze out at the city below, the sun's rays casting light over everything it touches like twinkling stars.
And then, it hits me, a sudden, sickening realization that steals the breath from my lungs. Blake didn't just betray me with his lie and deceit–he sent those men to Boston to kill me. The pieces of the puzzle click into place with chilling clarity, revealing the true extent of Hydra's influence over my life. But we have no idea if he is still alive. Lonnie, you have to ask these questions.
I feel a surge of anger, hot and consuming, rising within me.. How could I have been so blind? How could I have trusted him, believed his lies, when all along he was working against me? But deep down, I know these are things I wouldn't have been aware of. Hydra made sure that these details were hidden from me, completely erased from my memory, whatsoever.
But beneath the anger lies a deep well of sadness, a profound sense of loss for the life I thought I had, for the love I never knew existed. It is, in fact, a bitter pill to swallow, that everything I held dear would be nothing more than an illusion. And whatever way I continue to think, it doesn't change the fact that I have been completely oblivious to a life I never remember and one I still seem to forget.
It feels like the day passes by before I can muster my words from the labyrinth of questions that swirl my mind. "Did you know he was alive?" I ask, trying to keep myself from becoming enraged.
I turn to meet his gaze, his softening with sympathy as I meet his, the weight of his own burdens evident in the lines etched on his face. "No," he replies, but I know that he's not done. I can tell he knows more, and it's all about to be laid out in this quaint apartment. "The last time I saw him, he was in Paris. The night we were sent to take out your father."
As I absorb his words, a chill runs down my spine, sending shivers rippling across my skin.The memories flood back with visceral clarity, each detail etched into my mind with painful precision I remember Paris, the sea of lab coats, the mingling of scientists, and I, a specter of death, only there for one reason–to take out a man who had no use for Hydra any longer. It was a scene of normalcy, a facade of civility masking the sinister undercurrents that pulsed beneath the surface.
And there I stood, a solitary figure hidden amongst the crowd, my senses heightened, my instincts razor-sharp. I had a mission, a purpose that drove me forward with a relentless determination. Then, the Winter Soldier stood by my side, a silent guardian in the shadows, his presence a reminder of the darkness that we were both capable of. But even as I moved along the dark corners, secretly maneuvering through the throng of scientists, my mind focused on a singular target. But even then, even as I was, I could never understand the feeling of unease that gnawed at the edges of my consciousness. Hydra had sent me here with one objective–to eliminate the threat posed by the lead scientist, to silence him before he could make a fool of our organization.
But I remember Winter wanted me to stay put, trying to keep me from making any rash decisions. His voice echoed in my mind, a distant whisper urging me to stay focused, to remember who I was fighting for. However, with a cold detachment that chilled me to the bone, I carried out their orders. I remember the adrenaline coursing through my veins, the rush of exhilaration as I raise the gun, the weight of the decision heavy in my hand. There was no room for doubt, no space for remorse–not in the world that Hydra had crafted me for. And I never hesitated.
As the shot rang out, a burst of red blossomed against the stark white of the lab coats, staining the pristine surrounding with the mark of death. A mark that defined my existence and helped named the assassin I became feared as. The scientist fell, his lifeless eyes starting up at me with a haunting accusation, a silent condemnation of the darkness that had consumed my soul. Amidst the chaos and bloodshed I was known to cause, there was a moment of clarity, a brief flicker of humanity that began to keep through the darkness. But another part–the part that had been conditioned and trained by Hydra–felt a surge of triumph, a perverse satisfaction in completing my mission.
"You told me to stay put that night," I begin, my words a mere echo of the past, carrying the weight of the years that have passed sense. "Was it because of my father? That it was personal? Or that he was there, waiting for his opportunity to strike?"
"Both."
As his single words hangs in the air, the gravity of his answer begins to sink in, settling heavy upon us like a thick fog. It's a silence pregnant with unspoken fears and unresolved tensions, a silence that stretches on until it feels suffocating. But amidst the heaviness, there's a glimmer of determination flickering within me. A resolve to confront the demons of my past, to unearth the truths buried beneath layers of deception and betrayal.
I look away from Bucky, knowing that my anger isn't with him, but in the life that I was thrown into. This information has ignited a fire that refuses to be diminished. I may not have all the answers, but I refuse to let those from my past prevent me from figuring out what comes next for me. Knowing that there is a possibility Blake is out there, trying to figure out my every move, gives me every reason to continue to fight. But this time, I'm not following orders from a malevolent organization. This time, I will be fighting the good fight. And with the best person by my side.
For though I may not wear the title of the Red Ghost as proudly as before, the fire that burns within me still blazes with an intensity that knows no bounds. I may have shed the persona, but I have not forsaken the power that she has granted me.
In the depths of my soul, I know that I am still capable of wielding darkness as my weapon, of harnessing its primal energy to strike fear into the hearts of those who dare to cross me. I may walk in the light now, but the shadows will always be my sanctuary, my refuge in times of need.
So let them tremble at the mere whisper of my name, for I am Avalon, The Red Ghost, and I am not bound by the constraints of morality or convention. I am a force to be reckoned with, a storm on the horizon, and I will not hesitate to embrace the darkness within if it means securing my freedom once and for all.
For in the end, there is only one truth that matters: I will do whatever it takes to protect myself and those I hold dear, even if it means delving into the depths of my own darkness to vanquish one last threat.
That's my girl.
a/n : hello, hello! now we finally know the truth about Blake and what he got himself into all those years ago. I wonder what her plan is after figuring this information out. but no matter what, she has someone who would help her fight this battle. I hope you enjoyed this chapter as much as I did!! loved bringing back little details of desolation into this one :') lmk your thoughts! -k