"Cam?" questioned Leah as she woke up to see the vague silhouette of Cameryn sitting upright in her bed. "What are you doing?" she asked.
"I can't sleep, my head hurts," Cam responded while staring across at the white walls.
"Come here," Leah said holding out her arms for Cameryn to climb into. The brunette snuggled under the blankets with her back to Leah's chest, causing Leah to press her face into the back of Cam's neck. "I'll always be here for you, anytime."
"This is peaceful," replied Cameryn.
"Go back to sleep then," continued Leah laying an arm over Cameryn's waist and pulling the girl in tight against her own body.
As the sun rose and splinters of light shone into the room Leah woke up again to find the younger girl still snuggled up beside her. "Happy birthday," Leah whispered into the brunette's ear, causing Cam to cuddle in deeper.
"I want to go back to sleep," Cameryn slurred out as she rolled over to face Leah, snuggling into the blonde's chest and tucking her face into her neck.
"Cam, it's your birthday, remember... we're going to get tattoos."
"Nope, it's comfy here," she said gripping the edge of Leah's shirt like she did when she was nervous.
"Why are you nervous Cam?" asked Leah picking up on the change in personality.
"I'm not nervous."
"You are, you're fiddling with my shirt like you always do when your nerves are getting the better of you, now look at me," she said as she placed her hands on the girl's cheeks turning her face up so they made eye contact, "today is going to be a good day because we're celebrating together. We are going to get out of bed, go eat breakfast and then we'll go get our tattoos later."
Cameryn finally agreed to the plan and rolled out of Leah's grip, sitting herself up on the edge of the bed. Leah did the same and threw a random hoodie over her head before passing Cameryn the Arsenal one she loved.
"But you never let me wear this?" questioned Cam as she took the hoodie.
"It's your birthday, and I think it looks better on you anyway," replied Leah with a tilt of her head. Cam happily accepted and threw it on before jumping out of bed and running down the stairs.
Leah chased her down the stairs laughing her head off and calling after Cameryn, "For someone who doesn't like their birthday you've seemed to warm up to the idea!"
Cameryn and Leah bound into the kitchen with Cam jumping up to sit on the kitchen bench. Leah ran in slightly out of breath which only received her the comment, "You need to work on your fitness before you come back to full-time football."
"Haha very funny, what do you want for breakfast?" fired back Leah.
"Umm, ham sandwiches?" Cam proposed.
"Of course," replied Leah before beginning to prep the unusual breakfast. "Okay, go sit down," Leah said passing the plate of sandwiches to Cameryn, "I'll be back in just a second."
Leah disappeared back up the stairs leaving Cameryn to sit alone in the kitchen slowly eating her sandwiches. The sun was shining through the trees in the back of Leah's yard reflecting across the bench and into the windowed living room.
As Cameryn finished her sandwiches she started to wonder where on Earth Leah was, "Le, are you coming back?" she called out. As if summoned, footsteps started thumping down the stairs and Leah emerged back into the kitchen, holding three gift bags and two parcels.
"What have you done?" asked Cameryn as she eyed the presents in the blonde's hands.
"Well, the two boxes are from Wyatt and your Mum, and Jayden, and then two of the bags are from me and the other is from April," Leah responded as she approached Cameryn with the pile of presents.
"Why are there so many?" asked Cam.
"Because we all care about you," continued Leah as she walked past the younger girl in the suncast living room, taking a seat on the couch.
Cameryn jumped off the kitchen stool and ran over to Leah jumping into her arms, "Are you warming up to the idea of birthdays?" Leah asked as she held the younger girl to her chest.
"Yes, very much so. Okay, whose do you want to open first?"
"April's."
Leah handed Cam April's gift which she opened carefully. There was a new book and two new hoodies. She set the book to the side and pulled out each hoodie, the first was a plain black Nike hoodie she had been wanting for a while, but the second was personalised. It was a deep blue and in the corner was L. May embroidered in white thread. It was small enough to not be the main feature but still stood out to those who knew.
"It's perfect," Cameryn said as she folded it back up and set it to the side.
"You don't want to put it on?" asked Leah.
"Nah, I've got yours on," replied Cameryn prompting Leah to blush just slightly, "I'll open Mum and Wyatt's next, please," resumed Cam.
The box was passed across and the tape was ripped open. There was a nice blanket, perfume and some nice hand creams inside, a slight clique gift but perfect for moving to a new place like Cam had just done.
"Okay, which one next?" asked Leah.
"Jay's."
"Why not mine?" replied Leah sounding offended.
"Best for last," Cameryn spoke with a smirk and winked.
"Okay then," Leah continued passing the other box across.
Jayden's box was much smaller and well-taped making it quite hard to open, but eventually, the pair got into it. Amongst the tissue paper was a small felt jewellery box. Cam flicked open the lid to reveal a silver bar bracelet, and on the back was engraved 29.10.13 ~ Luke May. Cameryn flinched as she read the date on the bracelet, Leah immediately wrapped an arm around the girl's lower back resting her hand on the brunette's hip.
Cameryn tilted her head to rest on Leah's shoulder as a single tear shed her eye, "he knew I'd been looking to get something like this for a while," Cameryn spoke as she wiped a tear from her cheek. She smiled as Leah helped her slide the bracelet onto her wrist.
"It's perfect," said Leah as she planted a kiss on the side of Cameryn's head.
"Do you want to open mine now, or do you want to take a break?" Leah asked.
"Umm-," tried Cameryn before she was cut off.
"We'll take a break, that was a pretty big gift so I don't want you to be too emotional with mine." Leah threw herself back on the sofa relaxing into the cushions, and opening her arms for the younger girl to cuddle with her. Cameryn considered walking out for a second before giving in to Leah's presence. She crawled across the couch resting her head on Leah's chest and gripping at the edge of the blonde's shirt.
Cam shut her eyes and began to relax into Leah's touch, but the security and comfort Leah provided her soon became too much and tears started flowing. She gripped at Leah's shirt hoping it would soothe her like normal, but it didn't work. Cam's mind was racing through fields of guilt and open plains of regret, she'd never celebrated her birthday properly with presents and the like because she felt like she was moving on from her dad.
Today's morning had been good in the moment but now she was regretting the choice to celebrate. It didn't feel right that he wasn't by her side wishing her a happy birthday, giving her a hug and handing her a present. She missed her father's presence even though he hadn't been around for 10 years, she still could vividly remember the company he held.
"I miss him, Le, I miss my dad. He's dead, he's never coming back and I want him back because he's my dad but he'll never come back," Cameryn sobbed. Leah stroked her fingers through the girl's brown hair wanting to soothe her of the pain she was suffering but unsure how.
"Cam come with me," Leah said attempting to stand up but the 20-year-old wasn't moving, so instead Leah wiggled her way out from under the younger girl before scooping her up into her arms and trudging up the stairs. Le placed Cameryn into her bed and pulled the covers right up to her chin before turning to find something in Cameryn's wardrobe. It was the box.
Leah placed the box on the end of the bed, "what are you doing?!" called out Cameryn not wanting Leah to touch the things most important to her.
"Just trust me on this one Cam," Leah replied.
"No stop!" she yelled. Leah froze on the spot not wanting to push any further. She took a step away from the box, backing herself into a corner. The blonde sunk down against the wall sitting in the corner watching as Cameryn crawled forward to the box where she saw the piles of letters. On top was the one labelled 20th of November 2023.
Cameryn sniffled and tilted her head at Leah, "I'm sorry," she whispered to the girl crouched on the floor. Leah stood up and walked back over to the bed climbing in next to Cameryn.
"Do you get what I was trying to do now?" asked Leah.
Cameryn just nodded, she felt awful having yelled at the one person who cared so much for her. Leah stayed seated in the bed and Cameryn took it as her opportunity to sit in between Leah's legs leaning backwards into the blonde's chest. She carefully peeled open the letter, placing the envelope to the side and unfolding the creased paper. It had her dad's familiar handwriting again, but this one was much longer than the rest.
Hi Cam,
It's the 20th of November 2023, so Happy 20th Birthday. I can't believe my little girl is 20 years old, that doesn't seem fathomable. I'm sure you've noticed I didn't write letters for all your birthdays, well because they're are so many and because I have a feeling you don't love birthdays. Either way, I thought I'd write one for your 20th because it would be your golden birthday, so Happy Golden Birthday Cam.
I hope you still celebrate your birthdays, you're the kind of person who wouldn't celebrate them because of someone else. Even when you were younger you didn't like celebrating them because "it shows how fast time passes", but I think that it is a celebration of how far you've come not how 'old' you're getting.
I want you to take a second and think about how much you've achieved, if you're reading this I'm not around anymore but I want you to be proud of all you have done because I am. Let me think, you're 20, so are you playing in the WSL yet? I know that was one of the dreams. Have you moved to London, have you found someone to love? Sorry to bombard you with questions but I can't ask them to your face anymore so thought I'd jam them into this letter.
I'm hoping that you didn't realise when I used to write these letters, I started them when I got diagnosed, I made sure Mum knew to tell you that. These letters were my way of staying involved in your life way beyond my years, they took a lot of work, especially since I wrote them for all four of you kids, but they mean so much to me to still be in contact with you years after my passing. I wrote this one during the April of 2012, I have so many that I want to write I just hope I have time to do them all.
Either way today you are 20 years old and when I'm writing this you are only 8, that seems so surreal to me. I can't imagine any day when you are going to be 20 years old. I can't even imagine the day when you are going to be 10. Guess what, for your tenth birthday I'm going to take you to see the Arsenal women's team play, I hope you enjoyed it.
Please stick to your dreams, don't let anyone else dictate anything, even your mother. I know she wants you to make me proud, but you make me proudest by making yourself proud and being you - that's all I can ask for. Don't let anyone else live your life, and don't forget to live your own life. You only get one, as evidenced by me, so take everything by the reigns and make your life one worth living.
If by some miracle, you are reading this and I am sitting beside you on the sofa or across from you at the kitchen bench no that a miracle has taken place. But I'm sure that won't be the case, so look over at whoever is with you and thank them for taking care of you for me. Thank them for being a part of your life and existing with you.
Cameryn, you are going to be a legend in football one day, and the only reason I'm saying that is because no matter how hard life gets it is the one thing you will never give up. I'm sure you no longer play any instruments or try hard with your studies, and you probably still struggle with reading (sorry for all the letters), but football put a smile on your face that nobody else could. Live life to the fullest, and be unapologetically yourself.
Love you so much Cam, always and forever, Dad xx
Cameryn folded the letter back up as she finished reading it and turned to Leah, "Dad says thank you," which caused Leah to shed a smile, as well as a tear. Cameryn reached up to wipe the tear from the blonde's face giving her a smile in return. "He also mentioned the Arsenal game for my tenth birthday, I wonder what he thinks so we never went?" Cam pondered.
"I'm sure he's so happy that Jayden took you to your first Arsenal game instead, it's perfect that you're brother took over," replied Leah. "I do have on question though?"
"Go on."
"What does he mean by you struggle with reading?" Leah asked.
"You're going to love this, I'm dyslexic. I've known since I was like seven years old and couldn't read no matter how hard I tried, but I've gotten better I just need to focus." Leah looked quite dumbfounded at this point questioning how something so crucial to Cameryn's life had gone unknown to her. "I don't tell people I'm dyslexic because I don't want it to define me," explained Cameryn.
"Yeah, I get it. I know it's been a long day, but do you want to go get those tattoos now?" asked Leah who received a nod in response.
"What about your present?" asked Cameryn.
"I think we need a bit of cheering up first, it's a bit of a sentimental one too."
Cameryn giggled before hugging Leah one more time and jumping out of her bed to find something to wear. She settled on a pair of jeans and a dark blue and white striped rugby polo. After grabbing her bag she met Leah at the door who was wearing jeans and a fitted white cropped shirt covered with a black leather jacket.
"You ready?" asked Leah looking the brunette up and down.
"Yeah, you?" Cam asked back. Leah nodded and they jumped into Leah's car heading towards the city.
Tattoos had been a fear of Cameryn's for a while but ever since Leah brought up the idea of getting her dad's quote tattooed the idea seemed a lot less daunting. "At least it's something sentimental," she kept reminding herself as they arrived at the tattoo parlour.
The girls sat down with the tattoo artist and began to discuss what they wanted and its placement. Leah decided to get hers just above her left hip and Cameryn decided on the outside of her right Achilles.
After much convincing from Leah, Cameryn decided she would go first to make sure she wouldn't chicken out. She laid down on the bed with her jeans rolled up to reveal her ankle. The tattoo artist sat on her right side while Leah sat on the left holding the brunette's hand. Cam's head fell to the left so she could watch Leah as a way to manage her pain.
"It's going to look great," promised Leah as the tattoo began. Immediately the grip on Leah's hand tightened making Leah wince at the sudden extra pressure. Cam began to release her grip but the blonde squeezed her hand to say 'Don't worry about it'.
The 20-year-old closed her eyes, still keeping her head tilted away from the tattoo, trying to find some peace in the pain that was her ankle. Leah moved her free hand to run through Cam's hair coming the brown locks out of the girl's face over and over again. After what felt like forever Cameryn was told she could stand up and take a look at her tattoo, at this point she was basically asleep but still had a tight grip on Leah's hand.
The blonde helped her off the bed and over to the full-length mirror where she could get a proper look at her new tattoo. It ran lengthways down her ankle and looked perfect in the curly cursive font the pair had chosen. A tear ran from Cam's eye but Leah was quick to wipe it away, "No crying okay? It's meant to be a good day."
Cameryn nodded and gestured for Leah to go take a seat on the bed for her tattoo. Leah seemed to cope with the pain well, or at least better than Cam had. Leah still held onto the younger girl's hand but nowhere near as tight as Cameryn had been before.
Once her tattoo was done, Leah walked over to the same mirror as before eyeing her new tattoo, she smiled at the new black writing on her hip. She gestured for Cam to come over and show her tattoo in the mirror, before pulling her phone out and taking a selfie together. It was quickly posted to Leah's Instagram and received many messages from friends, family and fans.
"Do you want to head home and open my present?" asked Leah receiving a nod from Cam. They paid at the front counter and headed home to open Leah's present.
She handed over the two bags and Cam ripped out the tissue paper from the first. Inside was a white plaque-like wall decoration with a piece of rope coming from it to hang it to the wall, on it was the quote 'always and forever'. "I thought it would be cute to hang in the kitchen or something," explained Leah, "that way everyone knows it whenever they visit".
Cameryn smiled and put it to the side before opening the second bag, inside were two boxes, one designed for jewellery and one a bit larger. She opened the jewellery box first, inside was a small silver ring which she took out and slid onto her middle finger - the perfect fit.
"Take it off," instructed Leah leaving Cameryn quite puzzled but she did as she was told. Leah turned it so Cam could see the engraving on the inside, 29.10.23 ~ Number 8. "I know it is kind of like what your brother got you, but I wanted to do something related to you. It was the first time you captained the country, and it's our England number."
Cameryn slid the ring back on her finger before turning to hug Leah, "thank you," she whispered in the blonde's neck, "it's perfect".
Pleased with her efforts Leah remembered the other box, "here open this one too". Cameryn, although confused wondering what else Leah could have gotten her, opened the box. Inside were upwards of ten letters, handwritten like her dad's.
"Care to explain?" inquired Cameryn as she carefully searched through the letters.
"I felt like your dad missed a few, no offence to him, but he was on a time crunch. The thing is, I wasn't, so I thought I'd fill in the gaps. There's quite a few you should open soon though," Leah replied.
Cameryn pulled up one that read England Captain, and then another that read Welcome to London. She giggled as she flicked through the letters wondering how much time Leah had spent on them.
"Thank you, Le," Cameryn mustered up.
"I was thinking-" started Leah but she was cut off.
"Well, that's dangerous," replied Cameryn with a smirk on her face.
"Haha very funny, but I was thinking we invite some of the Arsenal girls over for a little get-together tonight," suggested Leah. "It would only be small, a few drinks and some good company?" she continued hoping to convince Cam.
"Okay," replied Cameryn.
"Really?" Leah sounded surprised, "but you don't celebrate your birthday".
"I'm trying something new," concluded Cam.
"I'll send the message then," responded Leah with excitement tainting her voice.
"Oh no."
WORDS: 3485
a/n: a longer chapter, i don't know what I think of it but yeah kind of cute, we'll see how often chapters come out, let me know if you want more frequent chapters or just whenever I get there