It had been a week since the Yule Ball. A week since Cedric told me that we needed to, quote on quote, 'put some distance between us'. I had spent the majority of the past week in my room, reading muggle books that spoke of true love and happy endings. Class was starting back today, so I knew I needed to get myself together. Natalie glanced at me warily as she started applying her makeup. I had clued her in on everything, and she had offered me a shoulder to cry on which I was more than grateful to accept.
"You need to start getting ready," she said to me. "You can't let him get to you like this. He asked for space, so give it to him. But show him that you're just fine without him."
My shoulders slumped forward in defeat. I sucked in a harsh breath, fighting against a wave of emotion when my eyes landed on my Christmas present from Cedric-A charm bracelet with two charms, a badger and a golden snitch. "But I'm not fine, Nat," I admitted.
She spun around on her heels, giving me a stern, no-nonsense stare. "I know that. But he doesn't need to know that, Elliana. You catch my drift?"
I pulled my lower lip between my teeth and shook my head. "Not really."
She frowned, placing her hands on her hips. "You have to fake it till you make it. Don't you dare let him think that you're a mess over him."
She sauntered towards me, taking my hands and forcing me to my feet. I didn't object as she led me to the mirror and peered over my shoulder.
"We are going to get you all dolled up and you are going to have an amazing day. You are not going to shed a single tear over your supposed 'best friend'. Got it?"
I inhaled a shaky breath before nodding. The determination in her voice alerted me to the fact that there was no sense in disagreeing with her. "Got it."
***
||Cedric's P.O.V.||
Guilt coursed through me as I studied the picture collage that Elliana had given me for Christmas. Half of the photographs were enchanted- Showcasing me and my friends during various moments. The rest were 'muggle photos'- The kind that simply captured a moment in time. A still photograph. My eyes drifted to a still photograph of me and Elliana. She was looking up at me with a small smile while I stared directly at the camera. I remember being quite curious about the device.
I reached over to my nightstand and grabbed the pair of gloves that Elliana had also gifted me for Christmas. They were yellow and brown- our house colors, and they were enchanted with a warming charm. I clutched at the note that she had written to go along with it.
It read: 'You know what they say- Cold hands, warm heart. But I figured your hands could be just as warm ♡'.
A lump formed in my throat as I reread the note for the umpteenth time within the past week. I hadn't spoken with her since telling her that we needed to put some distance between us. Had I done the right thing?
Cho was thrilled that I hadn't so much as seen Elliana since the Ball. She had made that blatantly obvious time and time again.
It was with a heavy heart that I sat down with Sebastian and several Quidditch teammates at the Hufflepuff table for breakfast. When Cho sat down beside me, she immediately shot me a glare. My roommate, Bash, was trying not to laugh at my expense.
"What did I do now?" I asked, flashing her a hesitant smile.
"You were supposed to meet me outside my common room and walk with me. Remember?" She quipped before angrily taking a sip of her orange juice.
Oh. "I forgot. I'm sorry, love." I took her hand in mine and placed a gentle kiss upon it.
Her steely glare never lessoned. "Why?"
"What?" What now...
Bash and Ethan were now snickering to themselves. I fought against the urge to shoot them a glare.
"Why did you forget?" She questioned, batting her lashes in annoyance.
I groaned internally and ran a hand through my hair. "I just have a lot on my mind, Cho. I'm sorry."
She hummed in response, clearly not satisfied with my answer. The distraction I needed came in the form of two red-headed twins. I breathed a visible sigh of relief when they sat down across from us.
"Hey, Ced," George greeted me.
"Haven't seen much of you as of late," Fred commented.
"Sorry, guys. I've been.." I trailed off, casting a glance towards Cho. "..busy."
Fred and George exchanged a knowing look, catching my drift.
"Right," said George. "Anyway..." Fred continued, "We were wondering if you had any ideas on what to do for Elle's birthday."
"It's coming up, you know," George added, followed by Fred, "In less than two weeks, you know."
Suddenly, Cho seemed interested in what they had to say for once.
"Actually, I was thinking maybe we could throw her a surprise party or something," I told them. "I think she'd really like that."
Cho's big, brown eyes snapped in my direction. "I thought you wasn't going to have anything else to do with her."
The twins gasped in sync, looking at me with matching furious expressions. "You're what?!"
"I never said that," I was quick to say, my gaze flickering back and forth between the twins and my girlfriend. "I said we were going to keep some distance. We're still friends though."
Cho's eyes filled with tears before she sprung to her feet and fled the Great Hall, leaving me completely dumbfounded. I scratched the back of my head in a state of shock.
"Distance?!" Fred scoffed.
"You're kidding, right?" George narrowed his eyes at me.
"She's your best friend," they said in sync, causing guilt to nearly suffocate me.
I released a heavy sigh. "I know that. Of course, she is. I've already explained everything to her. This isn't permanent."
"What isn't?"
I shook my head in frustration. Bash and Ethan were discussing an upcoming Quidditch game, so they were paying us no mind.
"Cho isn't exactly comfortable with how close Elliana and I are," I explained.
Their expressions deadpanned.
"You're kidding, right?" George repeated, a frown pulling down his usual jolly features.
I threw my hands in the air, feeling completely and utterly exasperated. "I can't win for losing," I mumbled to myself.
"What?" They asked, looking at each other in annoyance.
I wasn't sure whether to count myself lucky or unlucky because, in that moment, Elliana and Natalie entered the Great Hall. The twins slightly turned and called out for them, waving them over. I, of course, had no problem with that. Like I've said countless times, Elliana is still my friend.
Elliana and Natalie both froze in their tracks when their eyes flickered to me. I watched, confused, as Natalie leaned towards Elliana and whispered something in her ear before grabbing her by the elbow and leading her to the Gryffindor table. What just happened?
Fred and Geroge shot me a stern glare when the two girls took their seats.
"Now, look what you did, mate," Fred mumbled with a shake of his head.
"Right fool you are," George stated, frowning.
"What?" I blurted out, my face heating up in frustration.
This conversation was going nowhere. Clearly.
They both shook their heads before hopping up from the table and hightailing it towards the girls, taking a seat in front of them at the Gryffindor table. It was then that Bash flashed me a discreet smile, his eyes glinting mischievously. Ethan wagged his brows in a suggestive fashion, smirking.
"So, which of your girlfriends are you going to make up with first?" Bash teased as he popped a grape in his mouth.
Ethan chuckled lowly.
And here I thought they weren't paying attention.
My eyes narrowed into slits. "You're not funny."
Really? That's all I could come up with? Without saying another word, I pushed away from the table and went after Cho.
***
"You say one thing then do another," Cho mumbled, tucking her hair behind her ear and folding her arms across her chest. "I don't get it."
My shoulders slumped forward in defeat before I leaned against the brick wall and scanned the courtyard for something to focus on. My eyes were locked on a picnic table as I racked my brain for the 'correct response'.
"I'm not sure what you mean," I finally spoke, rubbing the back of my neck sheepishly.
She pursed her lips. Her frustrated expression led me to believe that I had said the wrong thing.
"You said you were going to 'keep your distance' from Kingsley, then you decide to throw a surprise party for her? Which is it, Cedric?" She shifted her weight from one foot to the other, her stern gaze fixated on me.
"She's still my friend, Cho," I was quick to say. "I understand that you're not comfortable with how close we are, but I'm not okay with throwing away our friendship entirely. We're just friends. Strictly platonic."
Her eyes narrowed into slits. "Maybe on your end. But I see the way she looks at you. Literally everyone sees the way she looks at you."
I furrowed my brows in confusion. What? "She doesn't look at me in any way. That's ridiculous."
She scoffed. "She's in love with you. You'd have to be blind not to see it."
I couldn't help but roll my eyes at the absurdity of it all. "Cho, I can assure you that's not the case."
Her eyes grew to the size of saucers. "You've got to be kidding me," she mumbled bitterly, shaking her head.
Clearly, this conversation was going nowhere, so I decided to steer it in a different direction. I took both of her hands in mine and kissed each one, placing them over my heart as I gazed into her deep, brown eyes.
"Cho Chang, you are the only girl for me. You know that, right?" I flashed her a tender smile. "I'm head over heels in love with you and only you."
She seemed to study me for a moment, looking for any signs of insincerity in my eyes, but of course, there were none. I meant every word I said. Finally, a reluctant grin flitted to her lips. I took that as an opportunity to continue.
"Elliana and I have been best friends for six years. Six years. Don't you think if either one of us had feelings for each other that we would have acted on them long before now?"
I mean, come on.. Her smile faltered. I searched for answers within the depths of her pupils, but they were unreadable.
"No," she stated dully, staring up at me with a blank expression.
I scrambled my brain for something to say but was coming up blank. Luckily, she wasn't finished speaking.
"But it doesn't matter," she added, a smirk twisting onto her lips. "Because you don't feel that way about her. You're in love with me."
I realized that there was no convincing her that Elliana harbored no romantic feelings for me, so I was going to take this as a partial win.
"That's right," I assured her, reaching out to caress the side of her face. "So, you're okay with my continued friendship with her, right? You trust me?"
I was well aware that a solid relationship was built on trust. Without it, any relationship would fall apart, so I was hoping with all my heart that she would say 'yes'.
"I trust you." She nodded, appearing deep in thought. "But I don't trust her."
I closed my eyes as I processed her words. "Cho..."
"I'm fine with the two of you being friends," she told me. When I opened my eyes and met her steely gaze, she continued, "But I don't want you hanging out alone with her. If you're around those twins or that Natalie girl then fine."
My jaw dropped. That didn't sound like trust to me.. Just as I was about to speak, to object, she stood on her tiptoes and laced her fingers through my hair, pulling my face down to hers before she placed her lips against mine. Her lips were so warm and soft. She tasted like oranges. I was lost in the pleasure of her lips moving sensually against my own.
When she pulled back, breaking the kiss, she winked. "Love you, Ceddie. Meet me at the astronomy tower tonight and I'll make it worth your while."
Then, she flitted away, leaving me completely dumbfounded and genuinely confused. What just happened?
***
||Elliana's P.O.V.||
When I took my seat in Potions, I tried my best to avoid Cedric's gaze to no avail. Neither Fred nor Trevor had arrived yet, so there wasn't anyone to ease the awkward tension between me and my supposed best friend.
"Hey," Cedric greeted me as I turned my back to him.
I inhaled a deep breath before glancing at him.
"Look, I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings the other day.." He trailed off, his gaze dropping to the table.
"It's fine," I responded, my voice sounding strained.
"No, it's not," he was quick to say, his shoulders slumping forward. "I still want us to be friends. I don't think I made that clear enough. You're my best friend, Elliana. That's not going to change."
"It already has," I whispered, a wave of sadness engulfing me as I realized just how true that was.
His jaw dropped, a look of hurt flashing across his face. Just as he was about to speak, Fred and Trevor sauntered into the room. Fred narrowed his eyes at Cedric before meeting my gaze and rolling his eyes. The twins were beyond frustrated with him. Trevor offered me a sincere smile that I struggled to return.
***
"Happy Birthday!" Natalie squealed the second I rolled out of bed.
"Thanks," I mumbled as I rubbed at my tired eyes.
"Get ready, Sleepy Head. We have a big day planned," she informed me, grinning from ear to ear. "Hogsmeade, here we come!"
We spent the day with the twins in Hogsmeade. We had to use the secret tunnels to sneak out of Hogwarts, but Fred and George were more than up to the challenge. I was thrilled that my birthday landed on a Saturday, making the eventful trip possible. It was truly a day to remember. Despite everything going on with Cedric, I had a wonderful time. However, it was the first birthday in six years that I didn't spend with him, so it was bittersweet.
My heart felt heavy at the thought as we made our way to the Hufflepuff common room. Fred and George were following us back, wanting to play a game of wizard's chess with us.
The second we stepped into the common room, joyous laughter echoed against the walls.
"Surprise!" Everyone said in sync.
Half of the Hufflepuff house was crowded in the common room, including Cedric. Trevor and several other Gryffindors were there as well. A large yellow banner was hanging from the ceiling that read 'Happy Birthday'. There was a cake sitting on the coffee table, along with several wrapped gifts. I blinked rapidly, stunned as I took in my surroundings. The twins wrapped me in a group hug, grinning from ear to ear.
"Happy Birthday," they cheered. "Were you surprised?"
"Immensely," I breathed out, returning their embrace before pulling away and looking around the room. "Thank you, guys. Really. This is... wonderful." A smile spread across my face, my heart warming in my chest.
Cedric sauntered towards me, wearing a tender smile that was accompanied with forlorn eyes.
"It was Ced's idea," Natalie spoke up, rubbing my back in a reassuring manner.
I met his unwavering gaze, a lump forming in my throat. Music was playing through a set of speakers that belonged to another Muggle-born, drowning out the sound of everyone's chatter as they mingled.
"Happy Birthday, Elliana," he said to me, speaking softly.
"Thanks," I blurted out, diverting my eyes from him.
"Would it be alright if we talked privately?" He asked, offering me a sad smile.
My heart lurched in my chest. Despite everything, I still yearned for him.
"Maybe later," I said to him, forcing myself to walk away and head to the table full of snacks.
"Whose ready for cake?!" The twins called out in sync.
Before I knew it, everyone was singing 'For She's A Jolly Good Fellow'. My face was as red as a tomato, no doubt. Being the center of attention was something I could definitely live without. After stuffing our faces and hugging everyone, I found myself wandering over to Cedric. He was leaning against the wall, wearing a grim expression that looked so out of place on him. I was used to his contagious smile and dancing eyes, so this was new. Safe to say, I didn't like it. I wanted my smiling friend back.
"We can talk now if you want," I spoke around the giant lump in my throat. "Do you want to go somewhere or-"
"No," he was quick to say. "We can talk here. It's not like anyone's paying attention anyway."
He was right. Fred and George were making a spectacle of themselves trying to play 'pin the tail on the donkey'. They had insisted on it, stating that 'It's what Muggles do at parties'. I didn't have the heart to tell them that I, a Muggle-born, had never witnessed a Muggle playing said game. No one else said anything either, so there they were- blindfolded and giggling.
"Alright. Well, I'm listening," I told him, leaning against the wall beside him.
"I wanted to apologize." He wasted no time in saying. "I never meant for you to think that I was throwing our friendship away, Elliana. I would never do that."
I knitted my brows in confusion, waiting patiently for him to continue.
"You're my best friend," he breathed out, his gray eyes pouring into mine.
Best friend. You'd think I'd be used to hearing it by now, but it still made my mouth run dry and dread settle in the pit of my stomach.
"I have no doubt that you always will be." A faint smile flitted to his lips. "But, Elliana, we aren't kids anymore. I'll admit that I'm.. attached to you and you me, I think. And Cho isn't comfortable with just how attached we are."
"Of course we're attached to each other, Cedric. We've been close friends for six years." I was still waiting for any of this to make sense. What was he getting at?
"Exactly." He blurted out, his smile growing. "Elliana, we've been best friends for six years. When our friendship started, we were just innocent, young kids. Now, that we've gotten older, it's time that our friendship.. take a different turn, you know."
My heart was racing in my chest. Was he saying what I thought he was saying? What I hoped he was saying? There's no way. He's with Cho; I had to keep reminding myself of that little fact as his eyes glinted silver, holding me hostage.
"What I mean is.. We have to be sure we make room in our lives for other people. Surely, deep down, we knew eventually the dynamic of our friendship would have to change one day. And it doesn't mean I love you any less or anything. I just.. You know, I have a girlfriend now. For so long, you were..." He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, his face flushing as he continued, "You were the most important girl in my life. Aside from my mum, but she obviously doesn't count." He chuckled nervously. "Cho is... I'm in love with her. So, of course, she's now taken up that number one spot that was yours for so long. I guess.. You sort of filled that void until she came along. I mean, not like in a romantic way or anything. You know what I mean, right?"
His blush had spread to his neck and the tips of his ears. My heart felt like lead in my chest because... Yes, I knew exactly what he meant. I understood what he was trying to say. Cho Chang was his first ever girlfriend. Up until now, I had him all to myself. Our friendship was changing as we tried to navigate foreign territory. The sharp pain in my chest gave way to a dull ache; an ache that I feared wouldn't go away anytime soon.
Deep down, I knew that Cedric wouldn't forsake me completely. But the thought of losing a piece of him, however small, struck me to my core. Obviously, I was well aware that I couldn't selfishly cling on to him forever. As he said, this was bound to happen eventually. But I couldn't help but feel absolutely terrified at the thought of us slowly drifting apart.
His eyes were wistful, silently pleading for me to understand. As selfish as I wanted to be, I couldn't allow myself to be selfish with him. At the end of the day, his happiness was far too important to me.
So, instead of crying like a big baby, I offered him a half-hearted smile and said, "I do. I know what you mean, and I understand."
He visibly breathed a sigh of relief, his shoulders slumping forward dramatically. "So, you forgive me?"
I pressed my lips into a thin line, struggling against the strong wave of emotions threatening to take over. "There's nothing to forgive, Ced. It's like you said- You're my friend and you always will be."
A glorious grin spread across his face before he wrapped his arms around me, giving me one of his famous hugs that I've come to know and love so much. I allowed his scent to fill my lungs, memorizing it.
"I love you," I whispered, squeezing him tightly. "And I always will."
"I love you too," he assured me, putting me at arm's length once again. "Happy Birthday, Elliana."
I wouldn't call it happy. It was bittersweet at best.