I now felt like I was leading a double life.
Our baby was on the way. Kennedy was excited and so was I. We were both looking forward to bringing home our little bundle of joy. The more time I spent with her, the more I realized how important she was to me. Exactly what she meant to me. I was in love with Kennedy and there was no denying it anymore.
Soon after that night in her apartment, when I'd failed in convincing her to run away with me; I suggested that she should move in with me.
I wanted her to live in a better home. I was going to make sure that our baby grew up in a decent neighborhood. Besides, keeping Kennedy close to me was the only way I could keep an eye on her. Know exactly where she was at all times.
I knew I was growing more paranoid by the day, but I couldn't help it. Things with the family business hadn't improved either. My father was still running operations the way he always did.
Our enemies threatened us day and night, and my father started fights with them to egg them on. Dead bodies were turning up everywhere. The new accountant who'd been hired was found murdered in his home. Two of our men were already lost to a shootout.
Just as many of our men and connections died, the same number of our enemies died too. My father made sure of it.
It seemed like it was never going to end. Everyone was out on a revenge-thirst against us and every day that I woke up; I was afraid for Kennedy and the baby that was growing inside her.
She had told me she didn't want to hear anything about my work and I kept it that way. I was carrying the burden of our safety alone on my shoulders. Kennedy had enough things to worry about. If our baby would be healthy, what we were going to name him or her, what kind of mother she wanted to be.
I spent my days watching her, helping her paint the nursery in our apartment and fill it up with all the things she thought our baby would need. I was happy to see her happy.
When I was around her, I forgot about my other life for some time. I didn't want her to see how stressed I was and how afraid I was for her safety. We'd spend the nights together in each other's arms, dreaming about our baby's future and making love.
Then in the morning, after I had safely dropped her off at her office building, I'd drive to wherever my father needed me. I'd threatened him with leaving once, but I wasn't going to do it again. Not unless I really meant it this time. I was just going to have to wait and see if things improved or convince Kennedy to leave town with me.
As happy as I was with Kennedy, and as blissful as our home was—it was getting harder to keep her a secret.
My father and the men I worked with every day, had started to notice that something was going on with me. I was usually late to the job sites these days and too quick to leave. I was never interested in going on drinking binges with the men anymore. Neither was I keen on picking fights with my father.
Before I found out about the baby, I didn't give a shit.
Now, I wanted to avoid conflict as much as possible. I was never going to win any battle that I started with my dad. The only thing I could do was wait and hope for the best. Maybe he thought I'd given up. That I'd finally accepted the way he conducted business. But I hadn't.
Keeping Kennedy and the baby a secret from the family was hard already. I didn't know how I was going to handle it once our child was born. She was living in my apartment. We had a life together. It wouldn't be long before my father or someone from the family spotted us somewhere and put the pieces together.
And then what?
I wasn't afraid of my father hurting Kennedy or the baby. I was afraid of word getting out that there was a new child in the family.
A baby and an innocent woman; were the easiest targets for our enemies. The best possible way for them to get us in the gut.
I needed to keep them a secret for as long as possible, but I knew it was unrealistic. The only safe thing to do would be to leave Seattle.
But I couldn't bring up the conversation in our home. Not now, not when Kennedy was so happy and blissful in her ignorance. I didn't want to spoil it for her. I didn't want her to share my burden. She was going to give birth to my child—that was enough of a burden to bear.
So, I did what my father told me to do. I planned shootouts and worked on the job site and recruited new accountants and got construction permits approved. I carried on my job as my father's loyal handyman.
As long as Kennedy refused to leave Seattle, I wasn't going anywhere either. My life was here now, unless I could convince her to go. But for that, I would have to tell her everything. The full extent of what my family had done and what my father was capable of. I would have to tell her about the dead bodies and the threats.
I wasn't prepared to do that yet. I didn't want to scare her or keep her awake at night worrying. I loved Kennedy, and I would do anything to protect her.
***
Kennedy was four months pregnant now, and we were nearly halfway through the pregnancy. In five months, we would have a baby in our home and these days, I caught myself smiling when I thought about that.
I drove back to the apartment from work. I'd spent the whole day at the construction site and I needed a shower badly. Nonetheless, I'd stopped at a store to pick up some groceries and a bouquet of red roses for my woman.
I was going to cook her favorite spaghetti and meatballs tonight.
When I opened the door, I called her name. She was usually back from work by this time. There was no response though.
"Kennedy!" I shouted and rushed to check the rooms. She hadn't texted or called to tell me she would be late, and she knew how worried I got if I didn't know where she was.
I pushed open the nursery door and saw her there. She was listening to music and still hadn't heard me come in. I saw the plastic on the floor, the buckets of paint everywhere. Kennedy was in the process of painting the nursery!
I watched her as she rolled the paint on the walls. The top half of the walls were empty because her arms hadn't reached that high. I'd expressly forbidden her from getting up on ladders. She was swaying to the music in her ears.
Kennedy was beginning to show now. I could see the bump on her belly, where our baby was growing inside her. She had one hand on it now and was tenderly stroking it. Her red hair had grown longer and it fell in waves around her delicate shoulders. She was still the most beautiful woman on Earth.
I walked up to her, touching her shoulders so she flipped around to me.
"Nico! I didn't hear you come in!" she exclaimed as I covered her face in kisses.
I tugged the earbuds out of her ears and she kissed me back, throwing her arms around my neck.
"I got worried when you didn't answer. I was shouting for you," I complained to her. Kennedy pouted her lips and nibbled on my chin to annoy me. I released her.
She took a swirl around the room.
"What do you think? I went with green since we don't know the gender yet. I thought it was a lovely soothing color," she was staring up at her handiwork. I nodded my head.
"It's the perfect color. I love it," I replied.
She was pleased to hear it and she smiled.
"Nico..." she whispered and stepped towards me again, taking my hand in hers. "I've been thinking of names," she said.
I waited for her to add to that, while she searched my eyes with excitement.
"Merlin for a boy, or Avery for a girl. What do you think?" she asked.
"They're beautiful," I said and kissed her lips.
"And if you don't mind, I would like to use your mother's name as a middle name if we have a daughter. What was it?" she continued and I gulped.
I hadn't said her name in years. My father never discussed my mom. It was like he'd completely forgotten about her.
"Martina," I replied and Kennedy smiled.
"Such a beautiful name. Avery Martina Rossi," she said dreamily. Kennedy was right, that did sound lovely. Only she would ever think of using my mother's name...even though I spoke so rarely about her. Kennedy thought of doing it because she cared about me. I didn't have to spell it out for her to know how much I loved my mother.
"Kennedy, you know I love you, right?" I asked as I held her.
She looked up at me and smiled.
"Of course I do, silly!" she laughed and as she stared at my face, she must have noticed the look of worry in my eyes. She started to pull away from me.
"Nico...don't say..." she began to say but I'd interrupted her already.
"We should go away."
Kennedy started taking the painting gloves off her hands and began to walk out of the room. I followed her out. I knew I shouldn't have said anything. I knew she didn't want me to keep nagging her about leaving. But she had no idea how much danger we were in, living in Seattle.
"It's been four months, Nico, and nothing has happened. You're worrying for no reason," she argued. She noticed the bouquet and the groceries on the kitchen table. I watched her in silence as she began putting the flowers away.
She didn't know. The only reason that nothing had happened in the past four months was because I was constantly on the lookout. Because we'd been lucky and hadn't been caught together yet. How much longer were we going to keep this up?
"You're right. I'm sorry," I said instead.
Kennedy placed the vase full of roses in the center of the kitchen table. Then she smiled and walked over to me, throwing her arms around my neck. I was never going to get enough of this woman. All I had to do was look at her, to want her. I still wasn't tired of having her.
"I know you want to leave the past behind...leave all that stuff you were involved with and just go away. I understand that. But, Seattle is our home. It's where I want to raise our child," Kennedy insisted. There was nothing I wouldn't give her. If this was what she wanted, this was what she'd get. I'd spend the rest of my life fighting off our enemies if I had to. All I wanted was for Kennedy to be happy.
"Yes, I know. I won't ever ask you to leave Seattle again," I said.
Kennedy smiled and kissed my lips.
"Now, you need to take a shower before you start cooking," she laughed.
I was smiling again. For the next few hours, I wasgoing to forget about our troubles and just sink into the woman I loved.