i am searching for a thing with no meaning. talk with me and leave me a tip // or a hint or a lead. I'm sick of meaning. I'm sick of people meaning more to me than i can hold or understand. i don't need new or drastic or crushing or loving
i don't ever want time to stop again
17:52
ive come back to myself. i had a dream in january // metaphor memory // of old poison // i let him poison me // i hid behind my eyes // i pressed my lips shut // i knew i knew everything. // i've come back to my real filthy self // i make sure the hurt seeps so i'm blinded to my ways // kiss and don't let them know you know // don't let them know you // is it fear? // i'm finally back to myself// i realize only when i look things i love in the eye // i might be purest when i'm hurt
18:49
water pools in the kitchen
i wipe it off, it pools again
from a corner i can't see.
i am the kitchen, i don't see the crack
where it spills from.
it catches me unaware.
i don't know the water that pools
i don't know where it comes from
it consumes all the space
19:14
I can't see how far I am // I don't see the street behind me// lost?// I can't make you trust me. You say you love me but it makes me feel so lost//I'm lost everyday. I can't go back//this is only for now//it has to be
19:25
Everything feels like pretense
Even honest emotion
19:29