Everything came slamming back, all thoughts and feelings. But it was the panic that came back the strongest, that and the pounding in my head. I shot straight up with a wild gasp. The person beside me yelped followed by a thud. In a split second I had a knife in my hands. My danger senses were on cranked up high. I saw Thomas, but my brain couldn't register it.
"Whoa Jessie, calm down!" Thomas scrambled to his feet, hands out trying to calm me down.
"What's going on? Where's Minho? Ben? The other runners? Where am I?" I yelled as I scrambled out of the bed, but was still tangled in the blanket.
"Calm down Jessie!" He yelled a little louder now.
"I'll calm the fuck down when my questions are answered!" I screamed, waving the knife around. My panic blocked everything else out, I had no concept of where I was or who was here. My chest felt heavy, and my stomach was still twisting. The pounding in my head didn't help. My vision was also in and out of focus.
I heard wild footsteps coming closer. I felt trapped. I knew I couldn't get out the window, my blurred vision and shaking limbs would let me land properly. I had to fight my way out. The door slammed open. I now had two knives in my hand, and I was screaming. Well trying to, my chest was even more heavy, and my throat was tight. My hands shook and I could feel the bile rising.
"What's going on? Where's Minho? Ben? The other runners? Where am I?" I screamed again.
I vaguely was aware Thomas, Newt, Winston and Jeff were in front of me, but that didn't help calm my racing brain and heart. I needed Minho. And he wasn't here...did the Griever get him too?
"Where is he? What's going on?"
I waved the knives around, my wild dilated eyes darting around the room. The room was chaos. I heard screaming from a different room, and that grated on my nerves, it made my head hurt more, which didn't help the panic. The guys in front of me were all yelling at me to calm down, trying to get me to put the knives down. But I wouldn't. No one was answering my questions. I heard more wild footsteps.
The door banged open and the only person I wanted to see came tearing into the room.
"Jessie?!" Minho yelled.
His face was full of panic and worry and anger. He paused seeing me swinging the knives at the guys in front of me. My arm was still covered in blood, my eyes dilated in fear and panic, covered in sweat, dirt...
"Minho!" I screamed, a sob escaped the panic.
He was safe. The Griever didn't get him too. I dropped the knives with a clatter and I shoved through the guys as Minho ran forwards. I crashed into him. My arms wrapped tightly around his neck, his arms tightened protectively around my back. The tears ran down my dirty face. He held me close, his one hand held the back of my head I buried my face into his neck. I felt his face in my hair. My body shook with silent sobs.
This was the first time I was scared of a Griever. The first time I was terrified to lose someone, because I don't think I'd be able to keep going if he was gone. I was become very dependent on him. I needed him. My heart wanted him. I squeezed him tighter.
"What the shuck happened?"
"Griever." I chocked between sobs.
"Shuck."
"It got Ben. I tried! I tried Minho! But I wasn't fast enough, and it got him. I don't like him, but I tried! I really did!"
"Shhh Jess, I know you did. It's not your fault." He soothed. He pulled away and his hand cupped the side of my face, his fingers buried in my hair, his thumb running back and forth by my ear. Now that I knew Minho was safe and my panic was easing, and I knew I was in the Med Room. The worry and panic blossomed into anger.
"If he wasn't fucking hung over I wouldn't have had to risk my life again for his stupid ass!"
"Okay, Jess...take a breath." Minho said quietly. His dark eyes were still full of worry, they darted all over. They froze when he saw my bloody shoulder. "Jessie! You covered in blood!"
"Yeah...the claw got me....whoa.." My knees buckled, and me head spun. I grabbed Minho's shirt as I went down. He grabbed me before I hit the floor.
"I think I have a concussion."
Minho rolled his eyes, "Yeah clearly." He got me up and sat me back down on the bed. He frowned at me, as he knelt down in front of me. "You need that stitched. Will you let Jeff stitch you up?"
I growled, and narrowed my eyes.
"Look if it's gonna be a problem I'll let someone she feels more comfortable do it. I'd rather not have a knife at my neck." Jeff said holding his hand up.
My world shifted, making me dizzy. I knew I wouldn't be able to do it myself.
"Fine." I said sharply. I looked back at Minho, "Stay please?" I whispered.
"Always, baby, I'm here." He whispered back with a small smile.
He twisted around and nodded at Jeff. Jeff got the stuff ready and Minho got up and sat beside me on the bed. I placed my head down on his shoulder.
"My world is spinning."
Minho shifted so he was facing me, and he pulled me closer, so I was leaning into his broad strong chest. He he held my head close. I closed my eyes to ease the pounding and the twisting and turning.
"Jessie? I'm sorry...I can't get to the wound properly...either the shirt needs to come off or we cut it..."
"Fine." I snapped.
"Out. Everyone." Minho barked. Everyone shuffled out. The door closed.
"Okay, just us. And I wont try anything." Minho said, but I heard a slight playfulness in his voice.
"Whaat? Half unconscious bloody girlfriend doesn't do it for you?" I asked, I could hear the slur in my words. "Dang this headache is awful." I reached for my head.
Minho helped take the shirt off. Now that the adrenalin wore off I could feel everything now, and the gash on my shoulder was quite painful. He paused and looked at me with a frown. I saw a blush on his cheeks.
"What?"
"Uhh...well..umm.. that strap from your sports bra is like right over top of it.
"Oh. Well..I guess it comes off as well." I shrugged my one shoulder. Minho looked away with a blush spreading on his face.
"Oh come on. Why are you blushing now?" I snapped, I tried to roll my eyes, but pain shot through my head. "Just pass me the damn blanket."
He cleared his throat, ran a hand through his hair. He passed me the blanket, and I wrapped it around myself and with a lot of gasping and hissing, I got my arm free, and then he helped pull it over my head.
"See? Nothing to get all giddy over...ya weirdo."
"Just don't...don't want to cross a line with you."
"I need stitches, nothing sexual about this..unless you make it." I raised an eyebrow with a smirk.
He leaned forward and smirked against my lips "Don't tempt me."
"Are you two ready yet?" Jeff called through the door, as he knocked.
Minho sighed dramatically, making me snicker.
"Yeah. You can come back in."
Jeff came over and sat down and started to clean up my bloody arm. Minho had sat back down beside me, gently pulling me so I was leaning into him again. His arms loosely wrapped around my waist. I leaned my head down and closed my eyes I felt his head rest on mine.
"She's vicious, mean and scary...but..." I heard Thomas think out loud from the doorway.
"Yeah." I heard Winston reply quietly, "They are scary in a fight, they wont hesitate to stab or maim...but they melt around each other."
"So...they're-"
"Together?" Newt cut him off, "Yeah, you twat. So stop flirting with her. It's embarrassing."
"I didn't know..."
"Because they aren't normally like this." Winston explained.
"Would you guys shut up? We can shucken here you ya shanks!" Minho snapped, rolling his eyes. "And yeah Thomas...I hear anything else about you and my girl I will stand and watch as she guts you."
I smirked. "Babe, that was the sweetest thing you've ever said." I tipped my head and opened my eyes. He laughed at me. Newt and Winston sniggered and shook there heads. Jeff snorted, while he was stitching me up. I hissed as Jeff's needle stabbed my skin again. Minho tightened his grip.
"Where's Ben?" Minho asked.
"Other room. He had a huge bruise on his temple. But he was stung on his stomach." Jeff answered. As if on cue, Ben let out a wild pain filled blood curdling scream. I flinched.
"My bad." I said quietly, closing my eyes.
"What did you do?"
"What I had to." I snapped.
"She came stumbling into the Glade and just collapsed. The other guy wasn't moving, she rolled overthrew up and was out cold. Brought her here-"
"Wait. You brought me here?" I snapped my sore eyelids open, and glared at Thomas.
"Uhh yeah?" He said sheepishly. "Newt went to get Jeff and Clint...Alby had Ben...I wasn't gonna leave you passed out..." He hurried on, trying to defend himself.
I growled for a second. But I laid my head back down on Minho's chest.
"Clint is with Ben right now," Jeff explained. "I had gone to get some more supplies, I guess you woke up..."
"Clearly." I muttered.
"Okay, done." Jeff announced. "Okay, that concussion is gonna be more dangerous. So bed rest, see how your doing tomorrow. But I doubt you're gonna run for at least a week."
"A week?"
"Well, we can take it day by day. I know you'll do your own thing anyways...just don't push yourself." Jeff sighed.
"Fine." I snapped. "But I'm going to my own bed. I ain't staying here." I tried to get up, but my world teetered, making my stomach twist. Minho sighed, he stood up and picked me up.
"Thanks, Mr Muscles." I grinned and then giggled. Minho looked at me funny. I frowned. "What the hell? I blame the concussion."
He snorted. But carried me out of the room.
"Can I have a shower first?"
"Are you gonna be okay?" He asked, I could hear the worry in his voice.
"Yeah, I'll be fine."
Minho carried me to the shower and placed me down, we had made a pit stop in our room to grab some clothes. He stood right out side the door. I sat down on the floor, and slowly washed my hair and the rest of the grime off. I sat in the water for a bit. My head was pounding and my stomach was twisting. I needed to lay down. I got to my feet and turned the water off. I took my time drying off and slowly getting dressed. My shoulder was stiff. But the pain meds Jeff gave me were starting to kick in, and I could feel my eyelids sliding closed. I stumbled to the door, and pushed it open. I just about tripped when I stepped out. Minho picked me back up.
"You're so shucken stubborn." He rolled his eyes.
"I don't like asking for help."
"I've noticed."
"I also don't like being vulnerable..." I said quietly, "I feel...weak."
"You don't have to be strong all the time Jess. And...when you cry, it's not 'cause your weak. It's 'cause you've been strong for too long." He said quietly.
I closed my eyes and lay my head on his chest. I felt his heart beat and I finally let out a breath I felt like i had been holding since I heard the Griever in the hall. He nudged the door open and placed me down in his bed. He gently kissed my temple.
"I'm gonna go quickly map my section, shower and I'll come back okay? Sleep."
I just hummed. The pain meds were pulling me into the darkness of sleep. I felt him pull the blanket up.
"Wait...can I have a hoodie?" I mumbled.
"Uhh sure?" He handed me one of his hoodies, and I buried my face into it. I heard him chuckle. He leaned over me, I turned my head. He kissed me gentle.
"I love you Jessie." He whispered against my lips.
"I love you too."
He got up and I heard the door close. I was lost to the world of dreams and nightmares and memories.
•×•
I closed the door behind me. I leaned back, tipping my head back. I closed my eyes for a second. When Winston came screaming Jessie was attacked by a Griever I panicked. I thought my world had ended. It took me a second to process what he said. When I stormed up the stairs and I heard her screaming mixed with Ben's I thought she had been stung for a third time. Something must have really spooked her, because she would never have flung herself at me like that.
She broke down and cried in my arms in front of others. Was it the concussion or was she finally showing other emotions except anger. I sighed again and ran a hand through my hair. I pushed off the door and went to go map my section. Nothing new. I was loosing hope in ever getting out of this shuck prison.
I was half way across the Glade when Ben's scream rang out again. I flinched. I didn't envy the shank. After seeing Gally and Jessie go through it was awful. It sounded as bad as it looked. Gally and Jessie were the only two to have made it through the Changing and lived. And Jessie did it twice. I wasn't sure if anyone in her first maze went through it, she didn't talk about it. I had finally learned who Sonya was. She sounded like Newt, which was probably why she latched onto him first.
Ben screamed again. My pity morphed into frustration, bordering anger. Ben had been reckless. He had been getting worse, every bonfire he had drank more and more. This time he had major consequences... and he put Jessie in danger. His anger flashed into a wild fire in my chest. Ben had had enough warnings. He was done. After he woke up, he was no longer a runner. I couldn't trust him anymore. Jessie was the only one I trusted Ben with, she would keep him in line, but last post greenie day, he had touched her, and she had knocked him out- not purposely- but she had to hull is sorry ass back to the Glade and almost didn't make it. And then today...I nearly lost her to a Griever. No, Ben was definitely done.
I mapped as quickly as I could. Found the other runners, informed them of the situation. Then went to shower quickly. Then finally, I slipped into my room, and into bed with Jessie. She had her face pressed into my hoodie. She was whimpering and had a few tears on her lashes. I lay down and gently pulled her closer.
"Minho?" a quiet voice whispered.
"Ya."
She climbed on top of me and lay her head down on my chest, wrapping her arms around me, I draped an arm over her back and gently ran my hands through her hair. I could feel her tense body relax. I quietly sang that little lullaby and she fell back asleep. And so did I.