Vera
I open my eyes and blink away the sleep. I take a deep inhale and scents flood my lungs. Mahogany, whiskey, mint, Desoto. I rub my open palm across the sheets, still warm and smell like him. I sit up but stop all motion when my head starts to swim. God, how much did I drink. I get up with the pace of an elderly woman with a bad hip.
I drag my feet all the way to the bathroom, and almost fall on my ass twice. My head is pounding like someone is going at it with a sledgehammer. I pop some Advil and brush my teeth before going downstairs. I hear clattering and conversations happening in the kitchen, so I follow it. Everyone is sitting at the except for Stella, who is cooking, and Cam, who is just spectating and keeping her company. Cam notices me first and beckons me over.
"How's that head of yours?" He asks throwing an arm around my shoulders once I reach his side. I almost tumble over from the sudden addition of his weight. Cam is lean and skinny but he's damn tall.
"Pounding." He grins at my suffering and squeezes my shoulder. He turns to his left and comes back facing me with a glass of green liquid.
"Here," He hands the drink to me and I look down at the contents of the sloshing, green substance. "Mama S has the best and quickest hangover drink known to mankind. If you also eat some eggs and bacon that she's making right now too, you'll be as good as new in 30 minutes." I grimace at the thought of drinking or eating anything right now, but I don't feel like having a hangover for most of the day. I throw back the green drink, and just as I finish Stella announces that breakfast is ready and makes me a plate.
I sit on the kitchen island and eat my breakfast, not yet greeting anyone. As I eat I realize I'm not in my clothes from last night, or my clothes at all. Whose shirt is this?
"Hey, just to let you know I have some pictures of the possible men that hurt you. I know you probably aren't in the mood to now so just let me know when you're ready." Cam nudges my side in a comforting manner, giving me a soft, caring smile. I feel my hangover starting to fade, so I might as well do it now and get it over with. Even if I was blackout drunk I'd never forget their faces, their laughs, their smiles.
"I can do it now if you're ready." I say. He seems surprised but nods his head regardless. "Great. Meet me in Alex's office in 15 minutes." He agrees and goes off to get his stuff ready. I hop off the counter and immediately regret it when a wave a dizziness tries to kill me.
"Hey, how are you feeling?" Mila asks, creeping up behind me. I take a deep breath and collect myself.
"I'll be fine soon. Did you change me last night?" I ask, still confused with what I'm wearing. Definitely a man's shirt. It smells like Desoto, so I wouldn't be surprised if it was his but I don't remember changing.
"No, I didn't. Santiago took you to your room it was probably him." Did I give Desoto a peep show? I didn't sleep with him. I hope I didn't. Mila quietly snickers at me and I throw a glare at her. Her laughing slowly subsides, and she shakes her head at me.
"Well, keep me updated on that. I have to go get my sister from the airport. Gender reveal today, remember? I'll be back in an hour. Wear what color you think it'll be." She rambles and then quickly walks off. It's amusing seeing Mila and Alex have a kid. Especially thinking of how it could play out. Daddy's little princess that
can do no harm, or a copy and paste assassin. Cute.
I go over to the kitchen table and greet Silas. All I get is an incoherent sentence because his mouth is full of eggs. Desoto is sitting right next to him drinking coffee and responding to emails. I bend so my lips are at his ear. I make sure to whisper so Silas or anyone else at the table won't hear.
"Did we sleep together last night?" His eyes gleam with amusement. Jackass.
"We slept in the same bed." He says in a suggestive and vague tone. I huff out a breath and place my hand over his fingers that are answering emails, so I can have his undivided attention. He turns his head looking directly into my eyes. My breath stammers when I notice how close his lips are to mine.
"No, mi todo, we didn't. If we had, you wouldn't have been able to get out of bed." I look at him stunned for a few moments before standing straight and walking out the dining room. (my everything)
"When I lost Callum, they were there for me. I felt like nothing because I had lost my everything. They helped me see that you can have new everything's."
"Good night, mi todo."
I got a new everything. I got Silas. I pushed Desoto from my mind because that's what I needed to do to survive. He didn't move on though. Why couldn't he just move on and make everything easier? It wouldn't have made things easier. It would've just hurt more if you saw him with another woman. I know, that's the worst part. I'm glad he doesn't have anyone new. A new everything.
"No sé qué haría sin ti en mis brazos. No quiero ni imaginarlo. Eres mi todo. ¿Puedes recordar eso por mí, por favor? Recuerda este momento, estas palabras, este sentimiento. Aquí y ahora. ¿Promesa?" God, stop it. I shake the rush of memories that flood my mind. I need a shower and peace. ("I don't know what I would do without you in my arms. I don't even want to imagine it. You are my everything. Can you remember that for me, please? Remember this moment, these words, this feeling. Here and now. Promise?")
"Hey, you ready?" Shit, I forgot about Cameron. Seems like my past felt like making an appearance today. I nod and smile to him anyway, walking to the modern and sleek office. Dark grey walls, with a book case on one side of the room, accented with decorative pieces, files, and books. Placed in the center of the room was a black, wooden desk with a brown leather chair and a grey couch across from the desk. Sunlight streams onto the desk through the almost entire wall of windows. On it is a thin file, ominously placed in the center of it.
I walk to the table and stand over the file. I force my hands to be steady and open the file. A mugshot of a man is the first I see but it isn't one of them. I spread the pictures out on the desk. I spot two black men and eliminate them. Next, I see a man with a tattoo under his eye, not him. I stop at an Asian man with tattoos that creep up his neck. He's the one with the cold eyes, strategic, distant, to the point. I push him toward Cam and he places the picture on his computer.
I scan the pictures and spot another. He's smiling in his mugshot, the same smile he looked at me with when he heard my ribs break. I keep going, trying to stay in the present. After a second I see another, the one who just watched and recorded it. I hand the found to Cam, starting to become sick to my stomach. I have to tell Cam there's a video. I hadn't thought about it for so long I forgot the way it felt like the camera was staring through me. Like I was nothing.
I see the 4th man, it was easy to identify him. There was a scar about 7 inches that went across his cheek, a deep, intentional wound. Lastly I see the last man. I don't remember much about him, his eyes look familiar. I look up at Cam who looks just as sick as me.
"Do you think you could find an audio of him laughing?" His sickness turns into terror and sympathy. I can tell he wants to ask but also doesn't want to know. He turns to his computer and types on it for about 2 minutes. He hesitates, looking up at me with so much sadness in his eyes before pressing play. A phone call fills the silence of the room and a loud laugh rips through my ears. Yep, that's him. As soon as I nod, Cam shuts off the audio. I hand over the last picture and exhale a breath I didn't realize I was holding.
"The third one I gave you, he recorded the entire time. I forgot until just now, you might be able to track it down." I see unshed tears cloud Cam's eyes. I feel like crying just because he's showing so much care. I round the table and wrap my arms around Cam's torso, he quickly reciprocates the hug. I rub his back which in a way makes me feel better too. We stay like that for a few minutes before I pull him away from my shoulder and wipe his tears. I give him a soft smile before I start to lead him out the room.
"Come on, we have a gender reveal to get ready for."
...
I take a shower and change into the clothes Mila left out for me which was a pink skirt, a little longer than knee length, with a slit up my right thigh and a white spaghetti strap top. I call Silas up, bathe, and dress him.
"Which color do you want to wear?" I ask, holding up two different color shoes.
"I wanna match my daddy. I think he was wearing blue." I grin and playfully roll my eyes at Silas. There use to be a time when he wanted to match me, now he's a daddy's boy. I lay out his white shirt, tan pants, and blue, slightly oversized flannel for him to put on. When we're done and ready we head downstairs.
While we were getting ready, everyone was pitching in to decorate the living room and kitchen. And by pitching in I mean the men were begrudgingly doing whatever Stella told them to. I help some while we wait for Mila and Alex to get back and after about 20 minutes of just talking and messing around they show up.
Mila gives a quick greeting to everyone before excusing herself and Alex to put on their full outfits. Once they leave I meet Mila's sister, Florence. She's just as gorgeous as Mila, long black hair, pale skin, pink lips, delicate bone structure. I swear that entire family could be models. Mila and Alex come downstairs after a few minutes. Alex is wearing a navy blue shirt with black jeans, while Mila wears a soft pink, off the shoulder, mid thigh length dress. It's tight on her showing off her baby bump. A few days ago she told me it was the size of a peach.
We're all standing and just chatting when Cam gets an alert on his phone. It stops all conversation because the sound was the typical doom sound, 'Dun dun dunnn'. He pulls it out and looks up at Mila and Alex, switching his gaze between the couple.
"Did you guys invite Cade?" He asks, referring to Matteo and Desoto's father. They shake their heads adamantly, completely sure they wouldn't even think of such a thing. "Well, he's 5 minutes away." My eyes dart over to them, but they seem just as confused and panicked. Mila does anyway for a few seconds but then she jumps into action.
"Matteo, take Vera and Silas away from here until we get rid of him. Jasper and Cam, take everything related to a gender reveal off the walls. Alex and Santiago, go upstairs, get somethings we've gotten for the baby and make it look like gifts. We're going to turn this into a baby shower, that man will not be here when we find out the gender of our baby." Everyone starts scattering and listening to her demands without a second of hesitation. Matteo grabs his keys and I get my purse and Silas and we leave quickly. We head in the opposite direction of where Cade's coming from and drive around for a few minutes not really knowing where to go. We settle with a random parking lot for a closed gas station.
I look back and see Silas laid out in the seat softly snoring. I brush his hair away from his eyes and cover him with his jacket that he took off when we got in the car.
"He's like a damn clone," Matteo says, I laugh at the astonishment in his voice. He's not lying, it's uncanny how much they look a like. A blessing and a curse, for me anyway.
"Speaking of, what's going on with you and him anyway?" I look over at Matteo and his eyes are pinned on mine. A huff is let out from my lungs.
"I don't even know myself. Got any advice?" I say jokingly but Matteo takes it 100% seriously.
"Get over it." I reel back from him. He can't be serious.
"I'm sorry, what?" Matteo holds my stare, not backing down. He's ballsy for saying something that asshole-y.
"Sorry. What I mean is, Santiago didn't leave you. None of us did. None of us wanted this for you. I get that you're pissed. You've been alone for 5 years, raising a child by yourself, that you thought was from a man who sent you away and hurt you. But Santiago didn't do any of that. He was hurting too. We all did. You weren't the only one who lost someone. Jasper, Mila, Cam, and Alex all lost a part of their family. Santiago lost the love of his life. I lost a friend and my brother." He pauses momentarily giving me a chance to interrupt but I don't.
"When Santiago lost you, I let him blame me, be angry at me because I didn't want him to do it to himself. I was an easy target, I was the one that told him. No one was there for him like I was. Alex was always with Mila and the same with Jasper and Cam. I'm the one that cleaned up his office when he'd trash it in a state of anger. I made sure he didn't choke on his vomit when he'd get blackout drunk. I made sure he ate when he stayed in bed for weeks. I ran the business so our dad wouldn't be on his back. I nursed his cuts when he'd go fighting and purposely get the shit beat out of him. I did it. No one else." I hear the trembling sadness in his voice. I hear his pain and how much all of that hurt him. How watching his brother self-destruct and letting all the blame fall on him , broke him. He clears his throat and takes in a deep breath.
"The point is, you weren't the only one that was hurting all this time Vera. Let him in. Give him a chance. The first thing you can do is say something true about it out loud." I chew on my bottom lip because he's right. I've been a bitch and it's time to just let it go. I can't tell Silas to trust his father and let him in when I haven't done the same. One true thing, I can do that.
"In my head or out loud, I haven't called him by his first name this entire time. I guess to distance myself, keep him at arms length." I feel like a weight is lifted off my shoulders from just admitting that to myself. Even though it was a small thing, it makes me feel good. I look over at Matteo and he gives me a soft smile.
"Better?" He questions softly, barely above a whisper.
"Much." I respond with the same tone.