52.Return
"XioJie... It started raining. Let's return to the manor."
YuYing spoke worriedly while holding an umbrella, trying to shield XuanRong from the rain.
They were inside the small forest at the back of XuanRong's courtyard. Yue Xiao Xiao died yesterday night. Since her identity was special, XuanRong decided to cremate her body instead of burying her. XuanRong was afraid that those people who were pursuing Yue Xiao Xiao would be able to discover the location of her tomb. For sure, those people wouldn't let go of her master even when she was already dead. They would definitely dig her remains & use it for their own research.
"Just a moment, until the fire disappears."
XuanRong spoke hoarsely. She stood there, not caring that the rain was starting to pour heavily.
Not looking behind her, she spoke,
"YuYing, the three of you, return to the manor."
"But XiaoJie---"
"An Wei is here to accompany me." She did not want her maidservants to see hear in her weakest state.
With no other choice, XuanRong's 3 maidservants left, leaving An Wei alone with her.
An Wei stood behind XuanRong, holding the umbrella for her.
"An Wei... it hurts."
XuanRong was mourning deeply. She was crying inside her heart for losing someone she cared. She did not want to experience this kind of painful farewell ever again. An Wei did not reply but he moved closer to XuanRong, shielding her from the strong wind and cold rain.
"All of you are not allowed to leave me, hao[1]? That's an order."
"This servant doesn't dare. If Young Miss would allow this servant to stay by Young Miss' side, this servant would stay by Young Miss' side forever."
XuanRong turned her head and smiled at An Wei. Her eyes were not as sad as before. Although she was in pain and was filled with grief, XuanRong was now calm, unlike yesterday night when she kept screaming & crying while holding Yue Xiao Xiao in her embrace, unable to accept the fact that the woman who made her experience the feeling of having someone cared for her like a daughter died in her arms.
Thinking back the words her master spoke before she died, XuanRong could feel that her master did not tell her everything. When her master mentioned the name of her son, XuanRong did not pay attention to it because she was panicking, and her main concern that time was Yue Xiao Xiao's well-being. Now that she was calm and was able to think clearly, she could not help but recall the words her master told her.
'P-promise me 1 thing, f-find my child.. *cough* *cough* H-His name is F-Fei----*cough* *cough* Fei..... Y-Yi..'
Fei... Yi..
Fei Yi.
The name of her master's son.
Was it a coincidence that her master's son was also named Fei Yi?
Recalling the dumb person who always call her 'Wife JieJie', XuanRong could not help but feel a little fluffy inside her heart. To be honest, if not for having a similar name with her master's son, XuanRong would have forgotten that dumb young man. It had been 5 years and XuanRong was busy with her own life that she did not have any time to think of unnecessary things and remember other people.
XuanRong was not sure if her master's son was Xu Fei Yi or if the two only shared the same name and nothing more. If her master's son was truly Xu Fei Yi, wouldn't that mean... that her master was the previous Empress, Empress Shen?
But how? Wasn't Empress Shen died by being burned to death?
'Am I overly thinking things?' XuanRong inwardly sigh.
Years ago, the Emperor of the four countries, including Qian Zou's Monarch, were hunting down the Yue clan in order to covet the art of Gu. If her master was really the previous Empress, why did she agree to marry the previous emperor who was the descendant of the Emperor of Qian
Zou? Was it really because of love? Or was it for revenge?
XuanRong was quite baffled and wanted to know the truth. After her death, she no longer believe in love between a man and a woman.
Unfortunately, no matter how much she wanted to find out the truth, Yue Xiao Xiao was already dead, the same with the previous Emperor. The only thing she could do was to find her master's son & take good care of him. Whether he was Xu Fei Yi, that dumb young man or not, she had to make sure to find out the truth. Finding him would be her top priority aside from exacting her revenge when she returns.
'Master, Rong'er will definitely not fail you. I swears that Rong'er will find him. Once Rong'er finds him, I will treat him as a precious sibling, not letting other people bully him. Master.... May you rest in peace. In the next lifetime, let Rong'er pay you with filial peity.'
Thinking of her master, XuanRong could not help but shed tears silently. She was standing straight but her back appeared lonely. An Wei, who was standing behind her, could not help but clench his fists.
He 1st saw her when she was 10. She was stubborn, arrogant and unyielding... but now, she was crying mournfully. He wanted to wipe her tears and bring her to his embrace but he knew, he did not have any right to do so. He could only silently accompany XuanRong in the shadows.
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Few days after Yue Xiao Xiao's death, full moon arrived. XuanRong's first full moon with female Gu in her body.
Pain. Too much pain.
XuanRong bit her lower lip. Trying to suppress the scream wanting to escape from her mouth.
She weakly gripped the necklace that was hanging on her neck.
'Master, did you experience twice the pain I feel right now?'
XuanRong could not help but ask inwardly. Relying on the soothing effect of the necklace Yue Xiao Xiao had given to her, XuanRong's pain was reduced by half. Still, it was not enough to relieve her from it. She still suffered greatly. She commended Yue Xiao Xiao for surviving five whole years without relying on the necklace.
'I must find the male Gu as soon as possible. I must find master's son. Although she did not tell me where the male Gu was, I have a hunch that once I find master's son, I would also be able to find the male Gu. Seems like I have to return to the capital as soon as possible.'
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"XiaoJie, the carriage is ready." YuShen entered XuanRong's room and curtsied.
"En. Is everything done?"
"Yes, Zou mama already prepared everything."
"Good. Wait for me in the carriage."
"This servant understands."
YuShen left, leaving YuYing and XuanRong alone.
"XiaoJie, are you really sure that it's okay for us to travel back to Zhong Yang[2] without the permission of master? XiaoJie, if master finds out that we disobeyed him, he would definitely get angry at XiaoJie. XiaoJie, let's not leave the manor."
YuYing pleaded. She was afraid that XuanLi would punish XuanRong for disobeying his order. Few days ago, XuanRong decided to return to the capital without sending any letter to the main residence to ask for permission.
No matter how much she tried to pursue her XiaoJie to change her mind, XuanRong remained stubborn. YuYing could only pray to the gods to have mercy with them. She was not the same young girl few years ago who naively thought that Laoye[3] and 2nd Madam both love XuanRong. YuYing knew that once they return, XuanRong would be bullied in the residence.
Instead of staying in a place full of people that were always scheming behind your back, why not stay in a place where one would be safe and away from them?
"Don't worry. Father will not get angry."
XuanRong did not explain anything to YuYing. Even if she tried to explain, YuYing would not understand.
In her previous lifetime, a month from now, someone would arrive from the capital. It was a messenger sent by her father, XuanLi, stating that she would return to the Fu[4] and would attend the emperor's banquet 4 months later.
XuanRong traveled and arrived on the 25 th day of the month of XingYue[5], 5 days after her precious meimei[6], XuanFei, celebrated her 13th birthday. The birthday banquet was very extravagant, many high-ranking nobles were invited in the celebration, even princes were invited, including Xu Ji An. XuanFei's birthday celebration was full of festivities and happiness unlike her own coming of age ceremony that was full of controversy. If not for giving face to her maternal grandfather, XuanLi would never allow her to celebrate since her reputation was destroyed due to the issue of spending the night with the hooligans in Lu Shan. But this lifetime was different. She was able to save her reputation.
'XuanFei ah, my dear meimei.. You always love being in the center of the limelight, shining like a star in the sky. I was naïve to feel proud of having a talented sister like you. Who would have thought that you were just using me as your leverage in order to reach the highest branch? Ah... What will happen if I steal your light? Will you still shine in the dark?'
Sitting inside the carriage, an evil smile surfaced on XuanRong's face.
"Leave! To the capital." "Yes, Da XiaoJie. Jaa!"
The coachman whipped the horse and drove the carriage forward.
'Zhong Yang, I have returned. I, XuanRong, have come to collect the debts those people owed me.'
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[1]. Can be translated as 'okay'
[2]. Qian Zou's capital.
[3]. Master (of a certain family. Ex. XuanLi)
[4]. Residence
[5]. Month of Apricot/Second Month (February)
[6]. Younger sister
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53.Him
XuanRong traveled leisurely and enjoyed the scenery as they slowly marched back to the capital. She was currently resting inside the carriage together with her three maidservants. She had been traveling for days and she was not in a hurry. She still had an ample of time before XuanFei's birthday banquet. Idled and bored, she sat and stared at her maidservants who were sitting in front of her.
"XiaoJie, have some sweet loquats." YuYing gave her a small plate with candied loquats.
"Mmm.. thank you." XuanRong eagerly munched the small pieces of candied loquats while thinking of her master's last words. There were so many questions left unanswered for XuanRong. Her master had been with her for 5 long years, but she never told her about her son or even the location of the male Gu. If her master had told her sooner, wouldn't she be able to help her master find her son?
Although XuanRong's forces could only be counted in both hands and were not on par with other big organizations, she could arrogantly claim that her informants and spies were trained meticulously. Coupled with her own knowledge from her previous lifetime, she could say that her own way of gathering information was not inferior to them.
Did her master intend not to tell her about her son?
If so, why did she change her mind in the last minute and told her to find him before she died?
'Was master afraid to implicate her son and decided to stay away from him in order to save his life?'
XuanRong was mentally exhausted. No matter what she thought, no matter how many questions she asked, no one would be able to give her the answers. Yue Xiao Xiao was already dead and her son was missing since he was a child. Even if she finds her master's son, XuanRong was not sure whether he knew something or not.
Ai. It was already useless to think deeply since she could no longer see her master again and demand for an explanation.
"XiaoJie."
XuanRong stopped herself from overthinking things and turned her head to look at YuShen.
"Mmm..?"
"Someone is approaching."
XuanRong raised the curtain of the carriage and saw a horse, galloping from afar. On the back of the horse sat a burly man with a mustache.
XuanRong's eyes darkened.
She knew him.
He was the messenger XuanLi ordered to inform her about the upcoming Royal Banquet to celebrate the Emperor's natal day.
"Stop the carriage and intercept him."
"Yes, this servant understands."
YuShang opened the carriage's curtain and beckoned one of the guards who was riding a horse behind them to come closer.
"Go and approach that man, tell him that someone wants to meet him. Bring him here."
The guard nodded and maneuvered his horse to the man's direction.
Few minutes later, the man was brought outside the carriage.
"Who are you? Why are you trying to stop me from leaving? Don't you know who I am? I am a subordinate of the Left Prime Minister of Qian Zou, Prime Minister Xuan."
The man arrogantly used XuanLi's name in order to incite fear. Every time he uses his master's name, people would cower and would even avoid him. XuanLi was a 1st rank official of the court. He was above many and was under by few people. How could a normal citizen act arrogant in front of his subotdinates? Thus, the man uses his name very often to get whatever he wants.
When he did not receive any reply from inside the carriage, the man got angry and wanted to leave immediately but when he moved, the guard who brought him once again hindered his path.
"You---!!"
Suddenly, a soft and mellow voice echoed from inside the carriage.
"You are Left Prime Minister's subordinate? May This Lady ask why you are here?"
The man was enchanted by the soft voice coming from the carriage. It was clearly owned by a young woman. At first, he wanted to comply and answer her, but he changed his mind. He arrogantly refused to answer her.
"What has that got to do with you?" The man spoke rudely.
'Impudent!! Do you know who you are talking to? She's Left Prime Minister's Eldest Daughter of the 1st Wife. How dare you act arrogant in front of your master's daughter!"
The man froze.
What?
The person inside the carriage is the Eldest Di Daughter of the XiangFu[1]?
The person whom he had to deliver the message?
The man inwardly cursed his luck. It had been well known all over the capital that the Eldest Di Daughter was an arrogant person. She viewed people as dirt and would not hesitate to punish the servants inside the Prime Minister's residence.
He looked at the procession at the back. No wonder, the carriage was followed by many guards and servants. Who would have thought that the person inside the carriage was his master's Di[2] Daughter. Talk about luck.
The man immediately unmounted his horse and bent his knees in front of the carriage.
"T-this subordinate was lacking and was not able to recognize mount Tai. This subordinate asks Da XiaoJie's[3] forgiveness."
The man clenched his teeth and was preparing for a heavy punishment when someone spoke.
"YuShang, do not scare him. He is Father's trusted subordinate."
After the voice spoke, the curtain was raised by a woman wearing a maidservant outfit and a delicate young maiden went out of the carriage.
The man went into daze when he saw XuanRong.
He could not believe that the woman in front of him was the famous arrogant Di Daughter of Prime Minister Xuan, XuanRong.
XuanRong saw that the man was staring blankly at her and smiled.
Seeing the beautiful smile on XuanRong's face, the man was startled and could not help but blush.
"Rise. No need to kneel before me. May This Lady ask this gentleman the reason why you are traveling? This path leads to Lu Shan."
The man stood up and cupped his hand to salute at XuanRong. Thinking of the rumors circulating around the capital and the young maiden in front of him, the man sighed inwardly. Rumors were really not trust worthy.
"Greetings to Da XiaoJie. Prime Minister Xuan ordered this subordinate to leave the capital and go to Lu Shan to send Da XiaoJie a message."
The man pulled a small scroll inside his bag and offered it to XuanRong in both hands.
"Thank You."
XuanRong nodded and accepted the message. After reading the content, she smiled with happiness.
"Father wants me go back home."
She looked at the man standing in front of her and then signaled YuShang who was beside her. YuShang immediately understood XuanRong's gesture and pulled a small pouch containing silvers. She moved forward and gave it to the man.
"Please accept this small token from our Young Miss."
The man's eyes shone with delight. He loved money the most, but he still acted like he was reluctant to receive XuanRong's grace and even tried to return the pouch but XuanRong insisted.
She had already known that the man was just acting. XuanLi was a rotten man. It was common for his subordinates to act like a scoundrel since dogs reflect their masters.
"This Lady insists. It is only a small token."
"Then, this subordinate will not be polite."
The man hurriedly placed the small pouch inside his clothes.
XuanRong once again boarded the carriage and resumed traveling. Since the man's task was already done, he no longer needed to go to Lu Shan and followed XuanRong's group who were traveling back to the capital.
Days passed and XuanRong was now bored to death. Luckily, they were now near at the capital's gate. She could even see the long line of commoners in front of the capital's gate, wanting to enter.
XuanRong's group was still far from the gate but she was not in a hurry. The birthday banquet had not started yet. Today was XuanFei's thirteenth birthday. In her previous lifetime, XuanRong was still traveling, thus, she was not able to arrive on XuanFei's birthday. But in this lifetime, it was different. She would definitely 'attend' her beloved meimei's 'birthday' banquet.
'XuanFei.. my dear meimei... do you know how much I miss you?'
XuanRong mockingly smiled. She couldn't wait to see XuanFei's contorted face later.
XuanRong's group successfully arrived at the capital's gate. As the daughter of an affluent family and the Di Daughter of a high ranking official, she no longer needed to waste time by lining up together with other people and was granted an easy access.
The carriage just entered the capital when someone shouted, "Long live, Crown Prince Ji An!"
XuanRong froze.
'Xu. Ji. An.'
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[1]. Eldest Daughter of the First Wife of the Prime Minister's Residence [A/N: too long, psh.]
[2]. Legitimate daughter or Daughter of the first Wife while
[3]. Big Miss or Eldest Young Miss
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54.Banque
'Xu. Ji. An.'
XuanRong felt like someone was stabbing her heart. It felt very painful and she could not help but grip the window's edge tightly.
She would be lying if she would deny that she was not affected by his presence. When she heard someone uttered his name, she was shaken. The hatred, the anger and the pain she felt deep inside her heart, all of it were trying to erupt like a volcano.
She wanted to grab his arm and confront him. She wanted to shout and slap his face.
She wanted... She wanted to know why...
Why... Why did he betray her? In the 7 years of being together as a couple, did he not have any genuine feelings towards her?
Not in the slightest? Why was he so cruel and even ordered other people to humiliate her?
Why?
Why?!
WHY?!!
XuanRong's eyes reddened. She could not help it. The emotions she carefully sealed, the memories she already buried at the back of her mind, the feelings she forcefully suppressed... all of it resurfaced when she heard his name.
'Ji An...Why? Why do you have to be so cruel?'
XuanRong did not notice that she was already crying silently as she stared at the window.
"XiaoJie.. What's wrong?"
Sensing that something was wrong with XuanRong, YuYing peeked and found out that her XiaoJie's cheeks were wet with tears.
YuYing gasped and hurriedly wiped the tears that kept on flowing from her eyes.
YuShen and YuShang were equally puzzled when they saw the abnormal reaction from XuanRong.
"XiaoJie, are you hurt? Do you feel pain? What's wrong? Please do not scare this servant. XiaoJie..."
YuYing anxiously wiped XuanRong's face while trying to catch her attention, but no matter what she did, XuanRong just blankly stared at the window, as if she could see outside even when the curtain was blocking her eyesight.
"XiaoJie!!!!"
YuYing grabbed XuanRong's shoulders and shook her body forcefully.
XuanRong gasped a couple of times, trying to inhale a large quantity of air as if she was drowning a while ago.
XuanRong snapped out of daze and confusedly stared at YuYing who was still holding her shoulders.
YuYing realized her mistake and pulled away her hands.
"XiaoJie. Forgive this servant for acting reckless. This servant saw that XiaoJie was not responding to this servant's call and was only crying silently as if you were dreaming while awake. This servant could not help but shake XiaoJie's shoulders to wake you up."
XuanRong did not pay any attention to YuYing's explanation. She bewilderedly asked, "I was crying?" She raised her hand and touched her face. When she saw her fingers were drenched with tears, XuanRong was startled.
How could she allow her emotions to distract her? She even cried in front of her maidservants!
XuanRong closed her eyes and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself. She wiped her face with her handkerchief and inwardly slapped herself for being weak.
She had thought that she no longer cared but she was wrong. She still had feelings for Xu Ji An. But those feelings did not include love and hope. Only hatred and anger were left inside her heart.
Nothing more.
"I'm fine. I suddenly felt nostalgic and emotional thinking that I can see maternal grandfather again."
YuYing and the rest sighed in relief. They were panicking for nothing. They completely believed XuanRong's explanation since XuanRong and her maternal grandfather were indeed close when she was young, before she was sent to Lu Shan.
"XiaoJie, the Crown Prince is here." XuanRong understood what YuShen was saying.
An Imperial royalty was outside the carriage. Being a citizen of Qian Zou, they were obliged to greet the Crown Prince with utmost respect. XuanRong and the rest should have to go out of the carriage and kneel on the ground to show their reverence towards the Imperial family.
XuanRong raised the curtain and saw a man riding a horse in a dignified manner. He was still far from their location and XuanRong saw that he was indeed coming to their way. Her eyes sharpened and closed the curtain.
"Move. Drive the carriage away."
XuanRong vowed that she would never kneel in front of him or in front of any Imperial royalty.
The coachman was taken aback. He hesitated a little, but he followed XuanRong's order and drove the carriage away from the gate.
Since the carriage moved, the rest of the servants and guards also moved forward without stopping to pay respect to the Crown Prince.
At the capital's gate, Xu Ji An sensed something. His intuition had never gone wrong. He felt someone was staring at him. He could not help but move his eyes around to find the source. When he was unsuccessful to locate the owner of that gaze, something caught his attention. In a faraway place, he saw a small procession headed by a simple but elegant carriage. The carriage continued to move forward without planning to stop. Xu Ji An did not know if the owner of the carriage did not realize that he, the Crown Prince, was here or if the owner was impudent enough to brazenly disrespect the Imperial family.
He could not help but ask the guard who was responsible for checking the identity of the people entering the capital.
"Who is the 1 inside that carriage over there?"
The guard was startled at first, but he immediately replied to Xu Ji An.
"Replying to Crown Prince, the owner of that carriage is the Left Prime Minister and the 1 inside is the Eldest Di Daughter, Lady XuanRong."
Xu Ji An stared at the carriage that was moving further away from him.
"Xuan...Rong...."
Xu Ji An murmured.
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[Left Prime Minister's Residence]
XuanLi and Xiao Lou were busy talking with their guests. XuanLi was very happy right now. He was inwardly celebrating because the Crown Prince promised him that he would attend the birthday banquet of his precious daughter, XuanFei. He had long been planning to introduce the Crown Prince to his lovely daughter. Now is the perfect opportunity to catch the Crown Prince's eyes.
He kept on looking at the front door, hoping to see someone enter and announce that the Crown Prince has arrived.
He was laughing with his colleague when a beautiful maiden walked towards them.
The beautiful maiden bent her knees and curtsied.
"XuanFei greets father and mother. XuanFei also greets Rui Wangye, Master Wei and Marquis Li."
Seeing her lovely daughter acting like a proper Di daughter, Xiao Lou smiled and pulled XuanFei closer.
"Fei'er, you look so beautiful. Mother was momentarily smitten. Ai. Am I right, Laoye?[1]"
XuanLi nodded. He felt so proud of his third daughter.
"Wife is right. Fei'er is now starting to bloom like a beautiful flower."
XuanFei smiled shyly.
"Father, mother, please do not bully Fei'er."
XuanLi laughed and stared at his daughter whom he raised with utmost care.
"Nonsense! What bullying? Your mother and I were only speaking the truth."
Few minutes later, the entire residence was filled with happiness. Laughter could be heard even on the outside.
Suddenly, a male servant briskly walked towards XuanLi. When he saw the anxious face of the male servant, he knew that the Crown Prince had arrived.
The servant moved closer and was planning to speak when XuanLi interrupted him.
"Laoye, someone was----"
"Why are you still standing over there? No need to ask permission! Immediately open the door and welcome them."
The servant could only shake his head and return to the gate to inform the guards to open the door.
XuanLi resumed talking with other guests. He was acting like he was not affected but deep inside, he was rejoicing. The Crown Prince was giving him a huge face for attending his daughter's birthday banquet.
He was very happy and was laughing loudly when he heard a very melodious voice coming from the entrance.
"This Lady did not expect that there will be a welcoming banquet for me. Father and 2nd mother really put Rong'er in their hearts."
When XuanLi turned his head to see the owner of the voice who just spoke, he saw XuanRong walking towards him.
*baam*
The cup on XuanLi's hand fell.
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[1]. Means [Master]. Literal meaning, 'The Master of the House'