Chapter 23-II
"Ellie's little brother..."
My bestfriend youngest brother gave me a scowl when he recognize me. If I remember right, he's Ezekiel. Nilipatan ko dahil naghihinatay sa labas ng campus gates kahit na tirik na tirik ang araw. A highschooler like him shouldn't be here." Papasok ka pa lang? Nakita mo na ba si Ate?"
"May kinausap lang ako sa labas. Pero kaninang umaga nakausap ko pa lang si El. " Malumanay kong sabi sa bunsong kapatid ng best friend ko.I first met him when he was in elementar, he grew too fast. Mas matangkad na siya sa akin." Do you want to see her? The guard would let you in if you're with me
"Never mind, I just want to know."
"Why are you not on school? Dala mo ba kotse mo?"
Ezekiel look at funnily." Isa lang ang family car namin."
Ah, so he didn't drive to get in here. That made me more confuse. Malayo ang school niya dito at kung nag-abala siyang pumunta dito ay dapat daanan niya na din ang Ate niya." If you don't need anything, you could just atleast dropped by and say hi to her. Vacant niya naman kasi lunchtime na."
"Bola lang na naman ang hawak nun."
"Sure, but she can spare time for you."
"Hindi na. I just drop by because I'm being pathetic." Ezekiel grunted, which made me think I don't really understand teenages kids. Pero baka dahil naramdaman niya ang displeasure ko ay inayos na ang pananalita niya. Maybe he have hard feelings for me for snitching him last time." I'm just worried about something, I mean. Kahit hindi naman dapat."
I felt sick on my gut hearing that, he might be in trouble. Yun na lang ang iniisip ko dahil sa paglingon-lingon niya sa paligid."...Saka nga pala, sorry nung isa. Alam kong napagalitan ka dahil sa akin, pero huwag ka na tatakas ng bahay pag di ka pinayagan, ha? You owe it your sister to at least not make her worried."
"Yeah, yeah whatever. "Ate" Sheena." Ezekiel spat.
But even before Ezekiel turn his back from me and left me with his rude reply, I grabbed his arm. He look at me weirdly, and almost anxiously." But if you need help...You can ask me."
But I let him leave, realizing he won't tell me anything.
He look so much like Ellie, I must see my bestfriend in him. My bestfriend's face and the hardship she had for her brothers. Nagiging madilim ang takbo ng utak ko habang pinapanood ko siya makalayo at sumabay sa agos ng mga estudyante. Sana naman, wala siyang kalohang pinapasok.
I breathe in, keeping my thoughts to me----babalik pa ako sa theater arts.
"Magaling si Ricos, hindi ba? Even in acting. We won't mind keeping him forever here. But he's shy about his burns." Statement ni Kiera ang bumunggad sa akin, she was leaning on the entrance door as she watch her crew."But this genius boy was pick on earlier, kaya ngayon balot na balot ng lumang cloak sa wardrobe."
I followed her gaze."I didn't know he had bullies..."
"And I didn't know you had friend, Clio. San ka galing?"
"There you go again with humor, Kiera..."
Something from what I said made her chuckle, making me earn her twisted tongue. Her eyes are glued on the stage, she didn't even spare me a glance. " Sorry, sorry. I'm just thinking you could help Ricos like you do with others, Miss Heroine. Yung gusto mo sila tulungan pero dahil sayo mas napahamak pa sila. Pwede."
"That's how you viewed me?"
"Please don't treat yourself as a karmic force I pray, Clio."
Mabait palang siya sa akin nung isa, pero ngayon ganto na siya. I try to sort my thoughts as I clench my fist." I just try my best to help people, I'm sorry if I'm disappointment."
"Sheena! Samin kailangan din ng mask! Pwede mo na kami sukatan?
A girl from the Kiera's block called me, na-ilang na lang ako kung paano naputol ang usapan namin ni Kiera, and on how she's back on her stoic face as if she didn't say anything wrong to me." Uh, sige. I'd take your measurements later. Anong nga ang role mo ulit?"
"Just one of the witches na kasama mo." The girl are beaming as she talks at me. Nagkasama nga pala kami sa mga rehearsal. It seems like they like my crafts so much." Ang gaganda nung mga nagawa mo na! Ikaw rin ang ganda mo sa susuotin mo! But you should have accept Kiera's offer to be a fairy or goddess!"
She's humouring me." Extra lang naman ako."
Yet, she just kept going on." I also think you'd look good cross dressing as a prince! Athletic pa naman ang built mo!"
"Hey, Clio already have so much in her plate. Sa susunod na lang ulit. Baka, kung pagbibigyan niya tayo, pwede siyang tumulong sa final film or play project natin." Kiera intervened this time, banayad ang timbre ng boses niya habang nakangiti. She only use her sharp tongue against me when I'm alone." Off you go, hindi ka pa nag-l-lunch diba? Maya ka na lang niya sukatan."
"A-ah, later is fine then." Sambit ng blockmate niya.
"Yup...Later. Susukatan kita." I half stutter as I wave the girl goodbye.
Still, I try to act that was normal.
Tumitig na lang ako kung saan nagkakaroon pa rin ng katuwaang acting ng schoolmates ko. I also notice my blockmates from Fine Arts is having with them, and my eyes also spotted Lionel who sneaking his vape from time to time. I grimance, Kiera might scold him. But still because of my cowardice I kept my mouth shut and watch how Ricos perform with his emotions. Malakas ang intensidad na ipinapakita ni Ricos na nagdadala sa lahat ng nanonood sa kanya.
Nearing the end of the break, their fun concluded----nakita agad ako ni Ricos.
"Was I good, Ate?! Dapat kanina ka dumating para mas maganda." Agad kwento ni Ricos sa akin, he's skipping and his hands were in all direction as he talks to me." Bagay po ba sa akin tong suot kong cloak? Napunit na yung hoodie ko sa loob kaya pinahiram sa akin."
"Sabi nga nila magaling ka daw kahit sa acting..."
"How about you? What do you think, Ate?"
Ricos was waving his pale hands in front of my face to get my attention.Na dahil din ay bigla akong napahawak sa kamay niya ng mahigpit." I hope I have your talented hands, even people here calls you an art genius. They love the backdrops and poster you painted. Now are you trying to be an acting progidy too? Why do you get to be so talented?"
"At baliw, may saltik daw ang umaabot sa ganto."
"I want things you have--- don't waste it."
He look at me meekly, that's why I let him go. Then Ricos suddenly lifted the hood of cloak." Ate, ikaw ang meron ang lahat at may mas malusog na katawan. I'm the one willing to do anything for your approval, I can't understand why you're envious...I'm the one with nothing but you...You're not complimenting me...You're hating me."
"...Just go back to playing with others, Ricos." Pangtataboy ko.
"Oh! Do you wanna see me act then???Please?"
"Can't you see that I'm annoyed by you? And it's because that despite being a victim of your flaws, people adores you." I inhaled sharply as my words escape from my mouth. I was half whispering and biting my lip to just keep everything inside of me." Habang ako papapano naman? Pag ako hindi perpekto masama ako?"
Ricos tilted his head." Thank you for telling me, Ate----wanna hear my lines?"
I glared at him."W-what? Sure. Bahala ka."
I just conceded on his request. Wala siyang pakialam sa pangtataboy ko. But before he starts, Ricos look behind him to look at the others. " Masaya ba maging diyos-diyosan?"
"That's not the lines, Ricos! Umayo----------"
"Kung gusto mong maging bayani namatay ka na lang sana, may kwenta ka pa sa ilalim ng lupa." Ricos continued despite my warning. Boys behind us started laughing more loudly. Some of them from my block, the others from theater arts. Kasali si Lionel sa mga tumatawa sa kanila. " Api-apihan, mapagpanggap na bayani, diyos-diyosan, ano ang magmamahal tulang mong kahangal-hangal? Diyos na walang maipaglilingkod sa sarili o kanino man?"
Malamig ang naging tono ko nang pinatigil ko siya. "Who taught you that?"
Napakunot ang noo ni Ricos. I don't how much of it is his actual words, but he turned towards the boys from the distance. But shook his head. The only people who could say those words to me, are the bystanders who judge me in my four year of college." Sa akin po, Ate."
"Aamin ka o hindi, Ricos?"
"T-they're just lines---acting lang..."
"Why is your hoodie ruined again??" Napakapit siya sa suot-suot niya makeshift cloak. Napahawak siya sa sunog na parte ng mukha niya. Ricos became paler, he kept his head low. Hindi ko siya pinapahiya. Pero kailangan niyang mamili kung sa kanya ako magagalit o sa iba." I know you hate me, but this isn't on you. Sino nagturo sayong sabihin yan sakin?"
"I was just mostly following..." Simula ni Ricos at itinuro ang mga lalake sa likuran. His confession pointing on a guy bothering me for so long." What they told me to say about you..."
Lionel scowled." Anong tinuturo-turo mo, Dela Cerna?!"
Naalerto din ang iba lalo na nang makita nila paano kumapit sa akin si Ricos. He was hiding behind me, almost latching on my mercy." They called you a bitch me with god-complex...I didn't really thought someone from theater calling an artist to be a "GOD" a bad thing...I didn't thought you'd be mad...Biro lang naman daw kasi aacting lang ako...."
"So you really taught him to say that?"
"Tangina, ano naman ngayon?"
"I'm sorry, Ate." Ricos said, pulling from Lionel" Hindi ko na po ulitin."
"Kinakausap kita! Nagsusumbong ka? Baliw ka talaga, diba ikaw pa rin ang nagsabi?" Lionel's getting aggressive, pissed at Ricos' remorse. He was marching towards us without care of crew's stare. " Hoy Cervantes. Totoo naman ang sinabi niyan! Kahit siya mismo ganyan din ang iisipin niya sayo! Hindi lang kami!"
When I saw his fist whiten I uttered involuntarily." Don't you dare hit Ricos."
But of course Lionel is the captain of his own ship--- pipilin niyang manakit.
Ang kamay ko nagtamo ng galit ni Lionel. I pulled Ricos closer to me, and even if the back of my hand is swollen from getting hit for Ricos.. Walang pumagitna kahit na nakita nila ang nangyare. Masyado ba silang nabigla? O sadyang walang pakialam? Mata sa mata kong tiningnan sa mata ang lalake nanggugulo samin. And now Ricos was full of guilt for the messed he brought to me. But I want to assure him its alright, this day would be over.
So I pat Ricos head--- and comfort him with my injured hand.
"I just don't get it why people around me love violence. Or if not that, they're in love with their own vices and sickness." Bulong ko sa sarili ko habang pinagmasdan ang revolver na kakalinis ko pa lang, at dahan dahan yung ibinalik sa case nito. With all the mess happening in my life maybe its better to get this out of my bedroom, it won't be safe enough on my dresser's hidden compartment.Hindi ko rin to pwede iwan lang ulit sa attic. " People just like the easy way, they just waste their privilege."
"Hon, are you there? Hindi ka pa kumakain." Percival's voice pulled me back on the real world. For a second I thought I heard Ralph." Can I come in? Are you busy?"
I sighed, closing my gun's compartment." Bukas ang pinto."
"Nagpapalipas ka na naman ng pagkain, magpahinga ka rin. You've been locked on your room since you arrived." Percival stated as soon as he stepped on the room. Pero ni hindi ko siya nilingon at nagpatuloy lang sa pag-s-sort ng gamit ko. My gun is already out of sight atleast I don't to worry about Percival seeing it." What's that, Hon? Nakuha mo ba yan habang nag-lilinis?"
Ah, it's the party drugs I confiscated from Nabi. "This?"
Percival nodded." Naglilinis ka pa ba? I'd help."
Mukang hindi alam ni Percival kung ano to o baka dahil lang malayo siya sa akin. Nevertheless this pills are too unassuming. That's why I got the funny idea of actually putting them inside a medicine pouch. " No you don't need to, and this thing is just some vitamins. They're is still good, I use it when I use to work out a lot more before. Itatabi ko muna bago bumili ng bago."
"Oh, if you say so..."
"Baba na ako maya-maya, just give me a sec."
"What's on your mind, Sheena? You're not distracted because you're busy. It's something else, isn't it?" Tanong ni Percival at narinig ko ang paglapit niya sa akin. But I just keep my cool and let the pills I have slip into the small plastic box for medicine, then I loudly close the lid." It feels like something else. So if I can help please tell me. Please? What can I do for you?"
"Try not to overthink too, would you Percival?"
"Are you thinking about Ralph?" My painting softly asked.
"Even if I love him, he can't be all I think about." Kaswal na komento ko,
"Then do you prefer Ronald's help over ours? Over mine?"
"You try to do everything for me Percival."I don't need to turn around to know he he's holding back his feelings. Maybe he's jealous. I'd be amused if he is. Yet I wouldn't accept an ounce of hatred from him. Pumulupot na lang ang braso niya sa akin, habang ipinatong niya ang kanyang ulo sa aking balikat. Parang siyang nagmamakaawa. " I can love you. I can hate you.But you can't do the same when you don't feel anything."
Percival directly whispered to my ear."Your choice should just be me."
I chuckled, sensing his cold skin. "I am choosing you."
Hinayaan ko lasi si Percival na patuloy akong yakapin, pero kailan man hindi ko papaniwalaan ang mga sinasabi niya. He's the last person I'll choose to believe in. Still his lips desperately wants to lie to me, I can't understand his pleas."Please, Sheena. I can't be hurt. I never made you mad. I don't make you feel evil."