Emi Enishi found herself lost in contemplation. Her project was in shambles, and the primary culprit stood before her—a Foreigner, not the Avenger she had summoned.
This Foreigner was more interested in his own claws than in any grand plan to destroy the world.
Emi's reaction was, well, not what one might expect. She responded calmly—or at least what passed for calm in her particular circumstances.
In a move that might seem rather composed to an outsider, Emi blasted him with Gandr, a Scandinavian curse of considerable potency, given her connection to the Root. It was a spell that could harm even Servants.
But Zaegar? He merely flicked the Gandr away with a casual wave, as if swatting a pesky insect. His subsequent remark only added to Emi's frustration.
Zaegar: Hmm. How adorable of you, my dear.
She briefly wondered how high his Magic Resistance was to shrug off her curse with complete nonchalance before her mind was stuck on a word he had said.
Adorable.
He said she was Adorable.
Why would he say that? What kind of normal person would say that?
Emi: Ah...
She realized something she didn't know anything about him.
Her connection to the Root usually prevented her from not knowing. Whenever she wanted to learn about something, the root of all existence provided her with information. That very fact was one of the main reasons why she saw life as a torturous ordeal.
And here she was, faced with someone she couldn't predict. The feeling of ecstasy was new to her. She reveled in it.
She looked at her Servant with nothing but excitement. The Hollow, seeing this, regarded her with a look that conveyed how strange he found her.
Emi: I understand now~.
Zaegar: Uh, hold on a sec, lassie. Let's not go down that road-
Emi: Are you harassing me?
Zaegar stared for a moment before his hollow eyes turned deadpan as he addressed the excited Emi with a flat tone.
Zaegar: (sarcastically) Ah, a fellow sociopath. This marks the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
This had to be it. She was being sexually harassed by her Servant.
Emi: You're sexually harassing me, aren't you?
Zaegar: (sarcastically) So, according to you, uttering a mere 10 sentences automatically makes me a sex offender. Is this the Feminazi Yhwach Book?
Emi: So, not only is my summoning a failure by summoning an old man who is a lolicon instead of Angra Mainyu, but it turns out he is also a sexual predator who openly displays his lust for "adorable" girls. Ah~, what will it be? What will this lowest of the low scum do to me with those dirty hands?
Zaegar felt the need to congratulate himself on how patient he was being with this girl. He could just destroy the world like she wanted and be done with it.
Emi: Hey! Hey! Hey! Are you going to violate me? You are, aren't you? You're going to assault me, violate me, and use me. You are such a lustful Servant, after all, aren't you? Hey! I know! You must be planning to take my virginity right now, aren't you?!
Really, just a flick of his wrist and he could eradicate the entire solar system. Then he could go on with his day.
Emi: Don't even try to hide it. You called me adorable. Ah~, I get it! This is how you lure in prey, right? You try to charm me with your looks, and when my guard is at its lowest, you take me, right? Right? Ah, just thinking about it~!
Then again, if there was an afterlife, that would give this stupid girl the satisfaction of knowing he had obeyed her. Not like he couldn't destroy the afterlife, but that was too much work right now.
It was destroying the world or leaving it out of pure pettiness and spite. Yeah, that was a no-brainer.
Emi: Hey! Hey! Hey! How are you going to do it? Rip my dress apart and ram it straight into me like a savage beast of lust that you are? Are you going to torture me first? Rough? Gentle? Should I undress? Should I? Should I? Hey, tell me what you'll do? Why do I know nothing about you? Why can't I figure you out? Tell me. Tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me-
Was she still being an idiot ranting nonsense? Fuck, that was a pretty deranged smile on her face. He's going to deal with one of THOSE today. Lovely. why could Yhwach just take his place right here right now?
He might as well get comfortable. This madness mantra of hers looked like it wasn't stopping anytime soon.
5 hours later
Emi: Tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me~!
She stopped. The crazed smile on her face gave way to confusion.
Her Servant lounged on a comfortable chaise-longue he had conjured from thin air, accompanied by a simple lamp that cast a soft glow over him as he leisurely read a magazine. With a pencil held delicately between his claws, he furrowed his brow in concentration at a crossword puzzle that seemed to be giving him trouble.
Zaegar: Six down is proving to be a real pain. The clue is 'a thoroughly stupid person'. How about... ah, nitwit? Hmm... Yo, girl, what was your name again? No need, E-M-I. Hey, that's it! Six down! Crossword completed!
Emi twitched slightly, taken aback by his sudden enthusiasm over a mere crossword puzzle. And just as quickly as they had appeared, the chaise-longue and lamp vanished into thin air.
Zaegar: Hmm. Now, I need good old Ophis.
A voice emanated from the depths of Yhwach's dark cape.
Ophis: Took you long enough. Annoying creature.
Zaegar: Fuck you, I was summoned out of nowhere.
Emi's confusion deepened as she tried to comprehend the feminine voice that wasn't hers. She and her Servant were the only living beings in that cave, so who could possibly own the third voice?
Zaegar: We're dealing with one of THOSE today, by the way.
Ophis: Ah, just another day in the neighborhood.
Emi struggled to make sense of the situation as Zaegar, with his usual flair, effortlessly donned his fashionable attire, standing tall and confident before her.
Ophis: Ha-ha, very amusing. Now, catch me up on what's been happening.
Zaegar: Well, we arrived, and she was all primed and ready, going on about how I'm this Angry Matthews guy destined to obliterate the world. Naturally, I thought, "Why not shake things up a bit?"
Ophis: And you didn't indulge her little fantasy.
Zaegar: Of course not. I played along, threw in a comment about her being adorable, and suddenly she's accusing me of harassment. Then she spiraled into this manic monologue, and I casually solved a crossword puzzle.
Ophis: Did you? What was six down?
Zaegar: Nitwit. Couldn't be more fitting. But let's keep that between us for now.
Ophis: Heh, I'll remember that. So, that's the gist of it so far.
Emi: Hey!
Zaegar sighed and glanced over at her.
Zaegar: ah shit here we go again. What is it now?
Emi: Don't "What is it now?" me! What was all that? What was that? What was that dark... thing? Who's that voice that I can hear and that you're talking to? Tell me-
Zaegar: Alright, hold your horses. First of all, spare me another fucking "tell me" spiel. Second of all, the answer to all your questions is "Fuck you we're awesome." And third, that voice you just heard? It's coming from this fancy cape.
Emi: Cape? You mean...
Ophis: Yep, that's me. I'm the one doing the talking from this fine piece of fabric. Pretty nifty, huh?
Emi stared. She giggled. Then chuckled. Then laughed out loud. It was quite the crazed laughter that would terrify even the bravest of men. They, however, just stared in boredom.
Ophis: (Inside Zaegar's mind) Such a strange individual.
Zaegar: Finally, something we both can agree on.
She couldn't figure him out. He kept throwing her out of the loop time and time again. She truly didn't know anything about the Foreigner.
She stopped abruptly. She quickly calmed down and stared at Zaegar with a look of understanding.
Ah, the duo thought at the same time, that she was also bipolar. This was one of those days alright.
Emi: That's your Noble Phantasm, isn't it?
Zaegar: ...Noble plasma what?
Emi: ...Are you kidding me?
She stared at him as if he had just grown ten heads. How did a Servant, a Heroic Spirit brought forth from the Throne of Heroes, not know what a Noble Phantasm was? That was basic Holy Grail War knowledge!
Wait, he was the servant, Foreigner, right? She didn't know anything about him. Her, who was connected to the Root that brought all information about the World, didn't know.
It was because this Servant in front of her wasn't from this world.
Emi: Oh... Oh... Ooooooooooh!
Zaegar: Hmm?
Emi: I get it now...
Zaegar: Oh, fuck me sideways, here comes another rant...
Emi: Not only did I summon the wrong Servant, who is an egotistical sexual predator who won't listen to me, but he's also from another world and doesn't know anything about the Holy Grail War, much less what a Noble Phantasm is... You're useless!
Ophis: ...So why haven't you killed her yet?
Zaegar: I'm with you on this one. Tsk, listen up, missy. I may not be what you expected, but let me assure you, the moment you summoned me, you won. Whether I choose to participate in your little war is another matter entirely.
She could just kill this useless Servant and summon Angra Mainyu as planned.
But he was something that she couldn't figure out. A mystery that she couldn't solve right away. He brought her the gift of curiosity and wonder for perhaps the first time in her life.
Emi: (In thought) ...Kosuke... Would you forgive your selfish sister for this?
The destruction of the world, or her curiosity? A very hard choice.
Oh, well. She felt the need to sit down and rest for a bit. Her mana reserves were drained by a rather sizable amount.
Emi: ...Wait, what?
No, that wasn't possible. The number of Magic Circuits in her body was admittedly subpar, but those same Circuits held an infinite amount of mana from the Root. If she had an infinite amount of mana, why did she suddenly feel drained?
Maybe summoning this Servant, who hailed from another world, required an amount of mana that only someone like her would be able to summon? An amount of mana that defied the concept of infinity?
Another mystery to solve.
She definitely had to keep him. The concept of curiosity was very addictive.
Emi: Ahem listen here.
Zaegar: What the fuck do you want now?
Emi: I was considering disposing of you—
Zaegar: About time. I've been bored out of my mind.
Emi: —but I'm feeling rather generous today, so I've decided to keep you around, despite your uselessness.
Zaegar: If you've summoned someone useless, doesn't that reflect on your own capabilities?
Emi: No, because I know what I'm here for. You don't even know what the Holy Grail War is! You, a SERVANT!
Ophis: Hmm. Sounds like a typical "Murder death kill for the MacGuffin" plot.
Emi: Anyway, hold still. I need to know your parameters.
Zaegar tilted his hollow mask in confusion, but Emi ignored it and focused her sight, attempting to display her Servant's parameters.
Servant Class: Foreigner
Strength: ??????
Endurance: ??????
Agility: ??????
Mana: ??????
Luck: ??????
NP: ??????
She blinked a few times, puzzled. She was aware that there were Servants with unknown parameters, but the absence of even the Noble Phantasm stat was peculiar. Odd.
Zaegar: Oh. Didn't know you had a pet. It looks pretty huggable. Hey, what are you— Oh, okay, you know how to jump.
Emi: ...Pet? What pet?
Zaegar: This fluffy boi right here.
Emi tilted her head, observing a new arrival. Indeed, a small creature perched atop Zaegar's shoulder.
???: Fou!
Zaegar: Cath Pa-what now? Weird name, but not like Yhwach's name isn't weird.
Emi narrowed her eyes at the creature until her connection to the Root provided her with all the information she needed. Her breath caught for a moment.
Emi: (In thought) The Beast of Gaia...
Fou: Fou, fou, fou, kyu!
Zaegar: You came here to investigate?
Fou: Fou!
Zaegar: Okay, HE isn't your pet. Are you happy now?
Emi observed the interaction before shaking her head and addressing the small creature.
Emi: Why is something like you here, Primate Murder?
Fou: Fou! Kyu!
Zaegar: HA! He just said "Fuck you" right there! I like him. Can I keep him?
Emi: NO.
Zaegar: Bold of you to assume you had any stake in this decision. Keeping him anyway.
She twitched. Was this... annoyance? She didn't like it, and at the same time, she did. Emotions were complicated.
Zaegar): Now, where the hell are we? Jeez, don't tell me this is your home or something.
Emi: A cave in Mount Enzo. This is the resting place of the Greater Grail.
Ophis: The MacGuffin?
Zaegar: Well, whatever it is, it's sleeping, and if I don't get sleep, no one gets it. HEY, WAKE THE FUCK UP!
Emi didn't resist the urge to facepalm as her Servant ranted to no one in particular. She had traded Angra Mainyu for THIS?
Emi: Hey, Servant, don't waste your breath, and let's just get out of here. I'll summon Angra Mainyu when I'm bored with all this, and this cave needs to stay intact.
Zaegar: ...So, if this cave were to, I dunno, be suddenly destroyed, then you won't be able to summon Angry Matthews, right?
Emi did NOT like the tone he was using right now. Nor did she like the sudden smirk adorning his features. She shook her head and crossed her arms regardless.
Emi: Pft, and you're sure you can do it? These are 3 kilometers inside of a Bounded Field, you know-
Ophis: (In thought) what an idiot.
He simply flicked his wrist. The world around her exploded into white.
Scene Break - Fuyuki City, Outskirts, Castle
Irisviel: You have a scary face, Kiritsugu. Is something bothering you?
A rather beautiful white-haired woman held a playful yet concerned visage on her gentle features.
She addressed a disheveled-looking man clad in a suit with an almost soul-less look in his gray eyes. He was one of the Masters in the Fourth Holy Grail War.
Kiritsugu: Iri, Mount Enzo has collapsed.
Irisviel: Mount Enzo? The one in Miyama?
Kiritsugu: Yes.
Irisviel: But, that can't be right. Didn't you say that it wasn't supposed to collapse in 400 years? Plus, Mount Enzo is...
Kiritsugu: I did say that. Now, look at this.
He stoically showed her a video recording from one of the various surveillance cameras installed on Mount Enzo. It was originally positioned there to use whatever knowledge recorded as an advantage since one of the three families held power over it. But that had changed in moments.
Irisviel watched in anxiousness. It was unsurprising, given her fate as an Einzbern homunculus specifically created for the Fourth Heaven's Feel. The situation would be severe if that location were to be jeopardized.
What she saw was Mount Enzo. One moment, everything was in order.
The next thing happened, everything was destroyed.
The top of the mountain, which housed the famous Ryuudou Temple, suddenly exploded in a massive cloud of dust and debris.
Then, another massive blast emerged from the first, practically obliterating anything in a 500-meter radius from ground zero.
And then, perhaps the most frightening thing was a purple meteor suddenly rocketing out of the explosion and shooting into the night sky. It lasted a few seconds, and the recording soon stopped.
Irisviel turned to her husband with evident worry in her eyes. He quietly lighted a cigarette.
Kiritsugu: Another player in the war that requires the utmost attention.
She nodded. Then, the sound of the door opening made them look towards a new arrival.
???: Irisviel, Master, when shall we commence our first move?
It was a young girl with golden-blond hair, green eyes, and wearing a rather elegant blue gown that radiated the feeling of royalty. She had a very serious and dignified air around her.
Her eyes fell on the monitor where the recording was playing again. Her eyes narrowed as she assessed the events.
Saber: That...
Irisviel: Ah, Saber. Mount Enzo has just collapsed. What do you make of it?
Saber: ...An enemy Servant.
Kiritsugu: Quite likely.
He left it at that after exhaling smoke, excusing himself from the room to manage his surveillance equipment and see if anything was salvageable.
The homunculus silently watched Saber look down, deep in thought. Whoever was responsible, they were not someone to be taken lightly.
This Holy Grail War was not going to be an easy one.
Then again, she thought, when has it ever been easy?
Scene Break
She woke up with a groan.
Emi: Daddy...? Where...?
After opening her eyes, she groggily sat up and looked around, studying her surroundings.
She was lying on a riverbank. There were multiple buildings in the distance, so she was in a city. With a few key details, she connected the dots.
Emi: Fuyuki City? But... when and how did I get here...?
Then, memories came flooding in. The ritual, the failed summoning, the destroyed landscape... The Foreigner.
Had it all been a bad dream? NOPE
Zaegar: Wassup bitch.
Emi would forever deny that she screamed like a little girl as she jumped in the air and landed with all the grace of a bulldozer.
Zaegar: 2/10. Need to work on the landing.
What she had classified as the new bane of her existence stood there with his hands on his hips, staring at her with his usual smug behavior. His new "pet" was snickering to itself, the little rascal.
Emi: YOU!
Zaegar: Me.
Fou. Fou!
Ophis: You...
At the flat response, Emi simply deflated. She somehow felt stupid for getting angry.
She sighed in... what was it? She thought it was one bad nightmare. That someone that could make her feel emotions was too good to be true. Was it relief? Probably.
Emi: How did we get here?
Zaegar: Oh, you know, I blew up the mountain and landed here.
And then the anger came back with a vengeance.
Emi: WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?!
Zaegar: Pft, it was just a mountain, who cares about that?
Emi: You destroyed the resting place of the Greater Grail, you stupid, good-for-nothing Servant! The other Masters would be idiots to ignore something like that! They know a Servant did it!
Zaegar: They don't know it was me so that checks out just fine.
Deep breaths, she reminded herself.
Emi: (In thought) Don't kill the Servant or you'll be bored. Don't kill the Servant or you'll be bored.
Such was her inner mantra.
Zaegar: So we just looked for the closest city and we got here. You passed out, by the way.
Oh, there was also frustration. Lots of it.
Emi: I know.
Zaegar: Anywho, you're my guide in this world, so start talking about it. And for the love of whatever you worship here, SUMMARIZE!
Guide? Ah, she had briefly forgotten that this Servant wasn't from this world.
..Well, this was all she could do now. Standing to her full height (He snickered at this, that jerk), she began talking in an even tone.
Emi: I am your Master, Emi Enishi.
Zaegar: You're just a chuuni, huh?
And that was the only thing it took for Emi to lose composure.
Emi: I'm not a chuuni! I really am a Master AND a magus!
Zaegar: Magus? Do you mean, Magician or Mage?
Emi: No, MAGUS. A magus and a Magician are COMPLETELY different things.
Zaegar: Because...?
Emi: One practices Magecraft, or Thaumaturgy if you want to be annoying, and the other one practices Magic.
Zaegar: ...
Emi: D-Don't look at me like that, it's true! Look, think of Magecraft as a grenade, and Magic as a nuclear warhead.
Ophis: Oh, so you're just a weakling who uses the cheap copy and can't handle the real thing.
Emi: I'll have you know that I'm THE most powerful Magus in the Holy Grail Wars of the past, present, and future. My connection to the Root grants me that they will never have Infinite mana.
Zaegar: What good is infinite mana if you don't have the skills to make it worth it? That's like, uh... I need an analogy.
Ophis: Like having infinite money but you don't know shit about investing?
Fou: Kyu, kyu, fou?
Zaegar: Yeah, those. Lame.
Emi: Shut up, all of you! Why don't you know this? Even though you're a Servant from another world, the Root must have surely given you the most basic of information, right?
Zaegar: ...Root? What the fuck is that?
Emi: Oh, for the love of-
She took deep breaths. She had a VERY long explanation to do, and he wanted her to summarize?! What unruly and useless Servant was this?!
Zaegar: What's this about Servant, by the way?
Emi: Dead heroes, or anti-heroes since the 3rd War, who have accomplished feats that made them famous in the eyes of people, and this causes them to ascend as Heroic Spirits and have their information stored in the Root. I don't know you, but surely you must have accomplishments and fame worthy enough to warrant your place as a Heroic Spirit.
Zaegar: So Servants are dead people brought back to life.
Emi: Yes.
Zaegar: But I'm not dead. I'm a healthy boi.
Emi: ...Eh?
Zaegar: Yeah, I was just about to eat my meal when you summoned me. Dick move, by the way.
Instead of snapping at him, she instead decided to assess this situation as calmly as she could. She had summoned a living person instead of a Heroic Spirit.
Did this mean that she technically hadn't summoned a Servant?
No, that wasn't the case. She felt the powerful spells tattooed on her chest. There was no mistaking it, she had Command Seals for a Servant.
Plus, the Root had enough information to classify him as the Extra Class Foreigner. The first of his kind to be summoned in a Holy Grail War.
She had summoned a Servant, but not a Heroic Spirit. This meant that it was unnecessary to supply him with mana to sustain his form. She could still summon Angra Mainyu.
...But things weren't that easy for her anymore.
Mt. Enzo had been destroyed, and the other Masters would investigate the matter. Without the Greater Grail, Angra Mainyu could not be summoned onto Gaia.
And this Servant of hers, judging by the destruction he caused, wasn't one to be trifled with. She did not know his true strength or parameters, and she guessed he was rather vague about the matter.
Hmm... There was, however, the Lesser Grail. The homunculus of the Einzberns was sure to arrive in Fuyuki if she wasn't there already.
Zaegar: Oi, lass, you have that look of "Plotting Something Sinister". like Aizen and Yhwach have What's up with that?
She was brought out of her musings by his flat stare. She regained her composure, although she was nervous on the inside at her emotions being read so easily.
Emi: Ahem. Let's move on with the explanations. Since you're from another world, I could at least fill you in on the basics of the Holy Grail War.
Timeskip - Fuyuki City, Restaurant
Emi: And that's pretty much the gist of it. Do you understand?
Zaegar shrugged, slurping on a milkshake he had ordered at a 24-hour Restaurant they had walked into while she explained. Fou remained perched on his shoulder, occasionally poking him in the cheek.
Zaegar: Mostly. I tuned out the unimportant things.
Emi: What DID you hear?
Zaegar: Something something something, Murder death kill, something something something, MacGuffin, something something something.
Emi: YOU BARELY HEARD ANYTHING, YOU GOOD-FOR-NOTHING SERVANT!
Ah. So this was what they meant by wanting to "pull your hair out". She desperately wanted to do that right now.
Ophis: Yeah, that's the usual. Hey, girl, don't worry about it. I listened.
Emi: Ah. You're, er, his Noble Phantasm, right?
Ophis: Well, in other terms, I'd be more like a hyper-powerful Mystic Code. But, since this Annoying creature's a Servant, then I'm a Noble Phantasm.
Emi: What type?
Ophis: Anti... Well, anti-Fortress, since I prefer silence. The others are kind of broken, but I'm no slouch in that department.
Emi: He has more than one?
Ophis: Mhm.
Well, those were very welcoming news. He had a sentient Anti-Fortress Noble Phantasm, that was exponentially more competent and smarter than the owner, and he had more Noble Phantasms.
Now that she thought more clearly, he had put on his cape, and then he had destroyed Mt. Enzo. He constantly wore an Anti-Fortress Noble Phantasm to enhance his power.
Both a strength and a weakness. If taken off, then he probably wasn't anything special. Then again, there were other Noble Phantasms he was hiding.
Zaegar: Still, that's pretty dumb. I mean, yeah, it's the easy way, but using a stupid cup just to reach this, uh... Root? That's pretty fucking boring for a wish.
Emi was speechless. This was the first thing both she and her Servant agreed on. The dream of the Magi was utterly boring.
Emi: Ahem! Anyway, you can wish for other things, not just that.
Zaegar: Like what?
Emi: I don't know, what would you wish out of an omnipotent wish-granting device?
Zaegar: So, you're saying that I can ask it to set fire to the sun?
Emi: ...What?
Fou: ...Fou?
Zaegar: I want it. To set the sun. On fire. That way, We won't get disturbed every morning by that bastard's rays shining down on us.
Emi: ...
Zaegar: ...
Ophis: ...
Fou: ...
Yhwach: ...
Emi: ...You want to, and I quote, SET THE SUN ON FIRE, on the principle that it disturbs your sleep in the mornings?
Zaegar: Yes.
Emi wanted to cry. She seriously wanted to just lie down and cry herself to sleep and wake up from this nightmare.
Her Servant was an idiot of the highest caliber.
Emi: I'm just... I don't... what...
Zaegar: ya good over there?
Emi: Either way, if you want to go home, you'll have to make a wish. It's your only chance to return.
Zaegar and Ophis exchanged looks of amusement before regarding her with an "I Know Something You Don't" look. A look she did and did not appreciate at the same time.
Zaegar: Sure, we'll go with that. Not this Master-Servant kink, though.
Emi: It's not a kink!
Zaegar and Ophis: (sarcastically) Riiiiiiiight.
Fou: (sarcastically) Fooooooou...
Ophis: By the way, we're kind of saying this shit out loud.
Emi: I've hypnotized the entire restaurant to make it seem like we're not here.
Zaegar: Huh. dope.
Emi: Moving on. Why is the Beast of Gaia here?
Zaegar: Beast-chan? Do you mean this little dude?
Fou: Kyu!
Emi: It's-
Emi sighs before continuing
Emi: You won't listen, so I'm not going to bother. Why are you here, Primate Murder?
Fou: Fou, fou, fou!
Zaegar: He doesn't like that name, awesome as it is.
Emi: I know.
Fou: Fou!
The squirrel-like being started to make some very complicated motions all the while poking Zaegar in the cheek. He looked quite adorable.
Fou: Fooooooou, FOU!
Zaegar: The hell is that?
Emi frowned. In an instant, information poured into her head. Her eyes widened somewhat before a small smirk found a way into her face.
Zaegar tilted his hollow mask in confusion. There were many complex terms in Fou's explanation, but there was one that interested him.
Fou: Fffffffffou!
Emi: Ah, I see. Well, then, Servant, maybe your arrival here was destined to destroy the world, Avenger or not. You chose a poor defender, Primate Murder, as you can see by his idiocy.
Fou: Fou, kyu!
Zaegar: What's an Ultimate One?
Emi: That will come later. What matters now is the contract to be sealed. We are a Master and Servant, after all.
Zaegar: Hmm... MASTER CHAAAAAAANGE!
Zaegar: (In thought) I want Yhwach back is that so much to ask for Ophis
Ophis: Yes.
Emi: What?
Zaegar: I want another Master. One that's actually fun.
Change... Did he want another Master? Did he want to... leave her?
Emi: No...
Zaegar: But-
Emi: NO!
She prepared to use her infinite mana to force him to stay. He could not leave her. He could not leave her! HE COULD NOT LEAVE HER!
Then, he growled. The small creature on his shoulder regarded her with a rather smug stare.
Zaegar: I'm too lazy to even search for one anyway. Fine, but don't expect me to actually get into BDSM, you fucking chuuni.
She felt relief. It was a nice feeling. She wanted to keep experiencing feelings. Speaking of which...
Emi: What makes you think that BDSM has anything to do with this?!
Zaegar: When you don't have the fucking context, BDSM has A LOT to do with most things Bitch.
She couldn't relate to that statement. She had the context of everything that happened in this world. Except for this unruly Servant she had summoned.
Emi: ...Let's just get out of here and find a place to call our base of operations.
Zaegar: Oooooh, can we get a villa? I want a rich snob villa! With rooms that we will never actually use!
Ophis: And a coat rack in front of a plasma screen TV that can play rewatches of Columbo.
Fou: Fou, fou, fou!
Emi: (sarcastically) Anything else, Master?
So that was sarcasm. She felt like she was going to experience a lot of it from now on.
Zaegar smirked
Zaegar: Get on with it, Servant.
Emi growled at Zaegar
Emi: Just follow me. Stupid Foreigner, stupid cape, stupid beast.
He had the guts to laugh at her, along with that Noble Phantasm and the supposed exterminator of humanity. They were jerks. They were all jerks.
No matter. This Holy Grail War, with what was bound to happen, was not going to be a quiet one. It could be bloody, dramatic, and fantastic-
Zaegar: I want a Mountain Dew fountain with the villa. No, wait, an alcohol fountain. No, wait, an alcoholic Mountain Dew fountain!
Or it could just turn out to be frustratingly stupid, just like her Servant.