A/n: Hi, damay-damay na 'to. Angsakit para sa akin na isulat 'to. Grabe pa man din hormones ko ngayon, sobra kong emotional.
CHAPTER 32
IT WAS SEVEN in the evening, the four of them are in a restaurant inside the building. Timothy ordered her foods. Hindi siya nagsasalita, hindi niya alam ang sasabihin.
"The food is here." Imporma ni Timothy sa kanila saka inalalayan ang mga waiter na ilapag sa lamesa nila ang mga pagkain.
Inilapit sa kaniya ni Timothy ang inorder nitong pagkain para sa kaniya, "come, here's your food, sweetheart." He kissed her forehead and even peel off the shrimp for her kahit alam niyang ayaw nito ang mga seafoods.
Nahihiya siyang ngumit rito at nagpasalamat. His friends are watching them. It seems like Timothy forgot that we're with his friends.
"So, you're Fashie, the princess of Guerrero's and Marquez'." Panimula ni Bene ng usapan.
Fashie nodded and smiled, naubusan siya ng sasabihin. They are kuya Grego's friends too! What if they tell him that Timothy and her have an affair? She don't know.
Nang-uuyam na tinignan ng dalawa si Timothy at may sinasabi sa isa't isa gamit ang mga mata.
"Stop it." Timothy said, annoyed.
Rigor smirked and look at her. "Does your cousin knew your relationship with Degustare?"
Fashie shook her head, making the two man laugh while it was Timothy who let out a low groan.
"I wonder what would happen if Guerrero found out about this." Bene snickered and winked at her.
"Please, don't tell to Kuya. He'll get mad." Pakiusap niya sa dalawa.
Rigor and Bene look teasingly at Timothy.
"Paano ba 'yan, bud. Looks like your woman will keep you her dirty little secret?" Pang-aasar nito kay Timothy. Sinegundahan ito ng mapang-asar na tawa ni Rigor.
Kaunti nalang ay baka masapak na ni Timothy ang mga kaibigan. Nagtitimpi lang siya dahil nasa harapan nila si Fashie. These brutes are annoying him!
"Shut up." Pinanlakihan niya ng mata ang dalawa nang magsitigil na ang mga ito. He's losing his patience. "We will get there, don't rush on things." Timothy rolled his eyes.
Hindi pa nakakareact si Fashie sa sinabi ni Timothy nang magsalita ulit si Bene. He's very talkative.
"Is she the reason?" She didn't get 'the reason' Bene was talking about. Kaya naman ay napatanong siya rito.
Timothy's cold voice invaded their ears, "Schauder," nagbabanta ang boses nito.
"The reason of?" Salubong ang kaniyang kilay.
Bene look at her with an innocent look. "This Degustare here, planned to drink every single liquor in this world that time, note; i'm not kidding. He would mess up with his condo, yell everyone, and he almost commit suicide. He was in rehabilitation for a year, too. That's why i'm asking. Fashie, are you the reason?"
"Schauder, stop it." Si Rigor na ang nagsaway kay Bene.
"What? There's nothing wrong about what i've said. I just want her to know what happened to our friend in his past." Inosenteng-inosente ang boses nito.
Fashie's heart is breaking from what she have heard from Bene. Napahawak siya sa dibdib niya at tumingin kay Timothy. He's gripping the spoon and fork tight, emotionless and cold.
She never thought that she left a deep scar from leaving him. Hindi niya inakalang gano'n ang nangyari rito nang bigla siyang umalis. Hindi niya kayang isipin na nangyari ang mga iyon kay Timothy.
Mas lalong hindi niya maatim na angbait-bait nito sa kaniya ngayon gayong gano'n pala ang pinagdaanan ng binata ng dahil sa kaniya.
"Timothy," Fashie hold his hand, trying to catch his attention. Mabilis na natibag ang malamig at walang emosyon na itsura nito.
"It's nothing. Eat your foods, we're leaving early in the morning tommorow." He hold her hand tight and smiled at her. Mas nasaktan ang puso niya dahil sa ngiting iyon. "And Schauder, shut it. You're starting to annoy me." He's glaring at Bene who just shrug his shoulders off.
Walang imik silang kumain, tunog lang ng mga kubyertos ang naririnig hanggang sa matapos silang kumain.
Bene bid his goodbye so as Rigor. Bene gave her a meaningful look before he left which she didn't understand.
They are both in silence, no one dared to speak. Bumalik sila sa condo unit niya at hanggang sa makapasok ay wala parin silang imikan na dalawa.
Until she couldn't take it anymore.
"T-Timothy, can we talk?" Kinuha niya ang lahat ng nakatagong lakas ng loob niya upang sabihin iyon.
"What are we going to talk about?" He asked and then walk towards her.
Fashie was sitting on a tall stool, habang ito ay nakatayo sa harap niya.
"Totoo ba? Sabihin mo sa'kin, totoo ba ang sinabi ni Bene?" Naiiyak na siya kaagad wala palang. She has to confirm it, she needs to hear his story. "Timothy..." Nagmamakaawa ang kaniyang boses nang hindi ito magsalita. Fashie hold his hand, "is it true? Tell me, please. Tell me..."
He took a deep breath, as if he was having a hard time to tell her everything. "I don't have a plan to tell you about that. You don't need to know. What important now is you're here, don't leave me again. That's past, i don't want to remember it."
"Tell me... I wanted to know, tell me, please. Timothy, tell me..." Hindi siya makakatulog hanggat hindi niya nalalaman ang nangyari rito. Hindi siya pagtutulugin ng konsensya niya pagkatapos ng marinig.
He cupped her face and kissed her lips. "Whatever i say, it's only in the past. I moved on and i decided not to live with it."
Tumango-tango siya, "tell me, Timothy."
Timothy look away, "the day i read your letter, i felt hopeless and betrayed. I didn't inform anyone about what's happening to me, i didn't call anyone to comfort me. Even i have the power to follow you before, i forced myself not to. Because even though it hurts me that you left leaving only a letter, i love you. I love you enough to respect your decision and follow what you said. You don't want me to find you, i didn't do it. You don't want me to ask Guerrero, i obeyed. You don't want me to go to your parents and ask them where the hell are you, i never tried. Tinanong kita nuon kung totoo ba ang mga sinabi mo sa letter, 'di ba? Alam ko naman kung ano ang isa sa dahilan, i'm just fooling myself before that i don't know because i can't move on.
"I understand you. You were too young that time, full of dreams and carefree. You are scared, you fear what will your family says and do after they learn about us. You're a gem to them, a precious. I was already expecting it, but i was still hurt. I was ready for everything, i am ready to face the world while holding your hand tight. What hurts me more, after that night with you, you left. Pakiramdam ko pinaglaruan mo ako, pakiramdam ko wala lang ako sa'yo na angbilis-bilis lang para sa'yo na iwan ako. Inisip ko pa nuon na angbabaw mo, you're too shallow to think that way, but i understand you and shove that thought away. But not because i understand you doesn't mean it wasn't hurt.” A tear fell from Timothy's eyes, that made Fashie's tears fell down.
“I kept myself lock in my condo until my friends found me. They tried their best to stop me but after a day or two, babalik na naman ako sa dati. Iinom, ikukulong ang sarili sa condo, maglalasing. It was a like a life cycle. My friends decided not to leave me alone. They even have a schedule on which who will be my what so they called babysitter.” He chuckles dryly. “Our memories in my condo always flash on my mind, walang segundo na hindi kita naiisip. Hanggat sa hindi ko napansin na bumabagsak na ako, physically, emotionally and mentally. Until i was diagnose for severe depression and anxiety disorder. If you can only see me that time, i lost weight, i have bags under my eyes and lifeless. I'm having a hard time sleeping in night, and right there i proved that it's true, a heartbreak could kill you, your mind, heart and body.”
Napasinghap siya at napatakip sa bibig upang hindi kumawala ang mga impit niyang hikbi. Timothy continued talking as Fashie listen his heartbreaking experience.
“One time, Bene is the one watching me around the condo, an intrusive thought came in my mind. Nuong mga panahon na iyon, i was drown from my love for you. I can't live without you and i would rather choose to die than spend the rest of my life without you. Gusto ko nalang tawanan ang sarili ko nang maalala ko ang mga araw na'yon. I tried to kill myself because i can't handle the pain that you caused. Multiple times, with different weapons. Pero lagi akong naabutan ng mga kaibigan ko. Until mom found out everything, my friends told my mom what was happening to me.”
Umiiyak siyang hinawakan ang kamay ni Timothy at iiling-iling. Paano niya nagawa iyon dito? What have i done...?
“Mommy pity me, her heart was breaking that time i wish i never let her feel. They all decided to put me in a rehab. My first days aren't easy, i have to meet my therapist, they check me from time to time. I got some people surrounds me whom i get friends with. Few months after, saka lang ako nakitaan ng improvement. Maybe because i have a supportive environment. At dahil duon ko buong na-realize na siguro, we're meant to be separated. Free na ako sa anxiety and depression, but the trauma is there. When we met again, i showed up like a mushroom, because i'm battling with my self. I should've be mad at you, stay away from someone who gave me trauma. Ayaw ko na sa'yo dahil natatakot akong kaya mo ulit akong iwan sa oras na lubog na lubog na ulit ako sa pagmamahal sa'yo.
“Pero sarili ko lang ang niloloko ko. I still want you, you are still the woman i want to be with until forever, ikaw lang at wala ng iba. That's why i'm here, standing infront of you, umaasa ako na sana hindi mo gawin ang ginawa mo dati. I'm risking again to someone i don't know if she's also sure about me. But i promise to myself, i will never let you leave me again. Kung kailangan kong halughugin ang lahat ng bansa para lang makita ka, gagawin ko. I don't want to live in that same era ever again. So please,” Timothy knelt down, “never leave me, please. I am begging you, tiklop tuhod akong magmamaka-awa sa'yo, h'wag mo na akong iiwan ulit.”
Mabilis siyang umiling-iling habang humihikbi, bumaba siya sa pagkakaupo sa stool at pinantayan ang binata. “No, no, please, don't... D-Don't say sorry. I should have be the one to say sorry, i'm so s-sorry. I can't accept the fact that those things happened to you because of me. Sorry, sorry kung ang immature ko. S-Sorry kung hindi kita kayang ipaglaban, s-sorry kung angduwag ko, sorry—”
“Shh,” Timothy cupped her face, “it's not your fault. Wala kang kasalanan. 'Yun ang alam mong tama dati kaya hindi kita sinisisi. I never blame you for what happened so stop saying sorry.” Pinupunasan nito ang mga luhang tumutulo sa kaniyang mga mata gamit ang hinlalaki nito.
“B-Bakit ka ganiyan? You're still kind to me, you a-accepted me again in your life despite of all the t-things i've done to you. Y-You should have push me away, d-dapat galit ka sa'kin. Y-Your actions are not helping me to forgive myself from what i've done.” Umiiyak siya habang nagsasalita, she even don't know if Timothy can understand what she said.
He kissed her lips, “because i love you. I love you so much that i just wanted to be greedy and never let you leave my side. I would always choose to be with you than harbor that bad feelings to you. Mahal kita na kaya kong kalimutan ang lahat ng nangyari at ginawa mong pag-iwan sa'kin nuon.”
Mahigpit niyang niyakap si Timothy at malakas na umiyak sa leeg nito. “I don't deserve your love...”
“Don't worry, i know to myself that i deserve you.”
Naiinis na pinalo niya ng bahagya ang balikat nito. Tumayo si Timothy kaya naman ay nagpabuhat siya rito. It was easy for him to carry her, parang wala lang dito ang bigat niya.
Timothy brought her to the living room. While she's still strangling her legs to his waist, Timothy grab a tissue and then sit on the couch. He wipe off sone of the tears to her cheeks and fix her hair.
Hinaplos nito ang buhok niya na parang kinakalma siya at sinusuyo. She's sitting on his lap and facing Timothy.
Isinandal niya ang gilid ng ulo sa malapad nitong dibdib. Huminga siya ng malalim bago nagsalita.
“Days before graduation, galing ako sa bahay mo nuon nang madatnan ko sina Mommy at Daddy na nag-aabang sa pinto. I didn't know na umuwi pala sila from another business trip. They got mad. Mommy ask Daday kung gano'n ba ako lagi late umuwi. Sabi ni Daday hindi naman pero laging wala sa bahay. They asked why my bodyguards didn't report to them. Pinatawag ang head of the bodyguards, si Kuya John. He's almost silent all the time, professional but we get close to each other. Sinabi ni kuya John lahat ng nangyari, mula sa laging pagkawala ng location ko hanggang sa mga babaeng nagpapanggap na ako para makatakas ako sa mga bodyguards na kagagawan mo.
“And then he showed a photo of us, lahat do'n nakatalikod ka. Pinili ni kuya John ang mga pictures na nakaharap ang mukha mo, mas lalong nagalit sila Mommy at Daddy. Sobra akong natakot, na baka sa pagiging pasaway ko i-didis-own nila ako, ayaw kong mawalay sa kanila. Daddy said he'll ruin you kapag hindi ako nakipaghiwalay, i didn't know you were that rich back then kaya mas lalo akong natakot. Sabi ni Kuya John; If you both are really meant for each other, the right time will come for both of you. Kaya sorry sa lahat ng nasabi ko. Duwag at immature ako ng mga panahong iyon kaya napakababaw kong mag-isip.” Fashie stared at his magnetizing eyes. “Pero mula nuon hanggang ngayon, hindi nagbago ang pagmamahal ko sa'yo. You're only the man who made my heart beat fast and loud, the only man i let to enter my world and the only man i love.”
Timothy smiled and brush his lips againsn't hers. “Mahal kita,” and then he claimed her lips into a rough kiss.
Nagkalinawan na silang dalawa. Fashie learned about his past and Timothy learned above what happened before the graduation day.
Angsarap sa pakiramdam na malaya na siya ulit. Gaya ng dati, malaya na siyang ipakita ang pagmamahal niya sa binata. At pinapangako niyang hindi na mangyayaring ulit ang ginawa niya nuon.
“Timothy,” natatawang saway niya sa binata nang pabiro nitong hinalik-halikan ang leeg niya. Nakakakiliti iyon at kaya naman natatawa siya. “S-Stop, isa!” Fashie glared at Timothy which made him stop.
He pouted and just play attention to her hair. “Ayos ka na ba? H'wag mo ng alalahanin ang nangyari kanina.” Agad niyang naiintindihan ang sinasabi nito.
Tumango siya, “it's traumatizing pero ayos na ako, i have to move forward.”
Hinaplos nito ang buhok niya, “that's good. Let's take a bath before we sleep.” Tumayo ito habang buhat-buhat siya at walang sabing dumiretso sa banyo sa loob ng kwarto niya.
“Sabay tayo?” Taas kilay na tanong niya.
He wiggle his brows, “why not?”
Pinaninkitan niya ito ng mata, “are you planning something? We're leaving early morning tommorow.”
He groaned, “one round will be enough for now.”
“One round ka riyan— ahh! Timothy!” Napasigaw siya sa gulat nang tumama sa kaniya ang hindi kalamigang tubig galing sa shower.
Humalakhak si Timothy sa reaksiyon na saka siya ibinaba. He pulled down her black shorts leaving only her bodysuit top. He remove next her top, at dahil nakabutton 'yon sa ibaba, Fashie felt Timothy's hand and unbotton it.
Hinagod ng tingin ni Timothy ang kaniyang buong katawan, ang suot nalang niya ay t-back at bra.
“God, you're so sexy.” Punong-puno ng pagkamangha ang mga mata nito.
Huminga ng malalim si Fashie saka in-unhook ang kaniyang bra at hinubad ang panty, standing infront of him, naked. “One round lang ha?” Paalala niya rito bago sinunggaban ang binata ng maiinit at madiin na halik.
PRETTY IN DARK|PID