Hi, lovelies!
I promised details about my date, so I'm here to deliver. We went to the movies and saw Latte By Your Bedside (which was amazing ngl) and my date did the CUTEST THING. They started ranting about how the movie wasn't as good as 27 Roses (totally agree) and they got so fired up about it, they puffed up like the big bad wolf does before blowing down a piggy's house! I can't say I'm the type to get that into movies, but I can appreciate someone who is. We'll be going out again soon, and also, since I know they're reading this, I really did have fun and I look forward to our next date.
Okay, now that I've delivered the deeds, I also need to tell you guys about the most important thing in my life right now: MY NEW KITTEN!!! (who, by popular demand, is officially named Milk!)
"Wow." Cooper spoke up, jolting me out of my thoughts. He hung over my shoulder to read Nina's post. "Dude, it sounds like the date was incredible! And she didn't think you were awkward!" He said cheerfully.
"I-I'm sure she's just being nice for the blog..." I muttered, but I couldn't help the swell of hope in my chest. Maybe I really wasn't as awkward as I thought I was.
After a few days of basically complete radio silence, Cooper finally reached out, and we met up at the pier. Our legs dangled off the edge of it as we ate ice cream.
"No way. A girl doesn't write that generously unless it went well." Cooper insisted with a grin. "I'm happy for you, Gar. Take a moment to be happy for yourself too, for God's sake."
"Thanks," I told him. "For setting us up." Cooper hummed.
A content silence fell over us, and I couldn't help using the opportunity to try to get Cooper to talk about what's going on with him. "How was your study retreat?" I opened jokingly.
Cooper groaned obnoxiously. "I almost didn't make it. There's soooo many words, Gar." He sulked. "So many, and they expect you to remember, like, most of them! And mom kept complaining whenever I listened to music while working on it," He rolled his eyes. "Listening to music was like the only time I could be productive."
"I'll bet." I told him with amusement. I couldn't really imagine Cooper getting much of anything done while sitting in pure silence by himself. "...Did your dad get home yet?"
Cooper fell silent for a moment, lowering his ice cream a little, not looking too keen on finishing it. "Last night."
My eyes widened. "Dude! Why didn't you text me!?" I scolded.
"Dude, give me a break. Drowning in homework, remember?" He insisted.
"I guess." I conceded, though still a bit pouty. "And...how is it? With both of your parents' home, I mean.
Cooper gave a kind of half-shrug. "We haven't really talked yet. Dad got home late, so we just exchanged brief greetings and then everyone went to bed." At that moment, Cooper's phone buzzed. He smiled rather bitterly. "Speaking of..."
I watched Cooper get out his phone and read the text, and something bitter settled in my chest at the way his eyes began to dull.
"Well, that's that. I'm off to war," Cooper teased, giving me a small salute as he pocketed his phone and prepared to get up.
I didn't really know what to offer him. I never did when it came to his father. "Are you gonna be okay?" I asked hesitantly.
Cooper stared at me for a moment before his face broke out into a cheeky grin. "Knowing that wonderful, practically soulmate, best friend is worried about me? I'll be just fine." He stated teasingly before leaning over and taking a huge bite out of my ice cream cone.
My jaw dropped. "DUDE!" I shoved him, and he laughed through his mouthful of ice cream as he got up and strutted off. Despite my outburst, I couldn't help finding the whole thing a bit funny too.
But mostly, I just couldn't help worrying. I knew Cooper could look after himself, and it's not like he's never gone through these conversations with his father, but this time just felt...different.
Cooper was going to tell his father that he wasn't going to college, and there wasn't a single scenario I could imagine in my head where that goes well.
My phone buzzed with a text from Nina asking about our next date. I couldn't find the energy to reply right away.
The next week flew by in a blur. I hadn't heard from Cooper very much.
Every night he'd simply text that he "pulled through", along with a stupid salute of emoji, and then there'd be nothing more, not even if I called him.
I saw him in school, but when I was sitting with Nina and her friends at lunch and I tried to invite him to sit with us, he was quick to make an excuse and just leave.
It wasn't the first time he'd done this, but it still made me uneasy. The last time Cooper iced me out like this was a couple of years ago. Back when we first entered high school.
He'd gotten into a fight with a really bad teacher over one of his assignments. Mr. Bern.
That man had it out for anyone who didn't lie down like a doormat for him. Cooper had been his favorite target.
After a test we'd had, Cooper had gotten an F, the only F in the entire class.
And what did our lovely, precious teacher do? He brought Cooper up to the front of the classroom and made him read all of his answers out loud to us.
Nina, some other students, and myself, had tried to step in and stop it, but Mr. Bern wasn't having it for one second.
Anyway, he made Cooper read out all of his answers, which took a solid half hour, and by the end of it?
Cooper had been shaking.
I was so angry. I wanted to run up to that teacher and punch his teeth out.
Sometimes I'm still angry I didn't.
It's not like Cooper wasn't used to shit like this. I've watched people tear him down like this our entire lives, but that time in particular was the worst one.
It's also one of the few times I ever saw Cooper cry.
"Wow, who jizzed in your Mac?" I snapped out of my thoughts to look at my sister who'd collapsed in the kitchen chair across from me. A cigarette hung loosely between her lips.
I looked down at the microwaved monstrosity of a dinner. "Shouldn't you be with Dean or something?" I questioned bitterly.
Monica let out a slight snort before taking a puff. "Eh, I broke it off. He wasn't bad, but I've had better."
I cringed. "...My fault for asking."
"True." Monica dropped her cigarette in my glass of water. I wasn't even surprised. "So, what's up? Why the ugly pout?"
I wouldn't pretend that Monica was my favorite person to talk to, but she has been in her fair share of relationships, not to mention I doubt she's going to leave me alone until I tell her.
"Monica...have you ever been in love?" I asked hesitantly.
Monica stared me down with an unreadable expression, before breaking out into snickers that made me feel like an idiot. "You need to stop watching so many chick flicks. Do people seriously ask that shit in real life?"
"I'm leaving now." I told her dryly as I got up to take my dish to the sink.
But Monica pointed back at my seat as she leaned back in her own. "Alright, alright, don't get your panties in a twist. Sit down. Wait, actually, bring us some beers first."
I complied, mostly because at this moment I wanted a beer, too. I liked how warm they made me afterwards.
I grabbed two cans from the fridge and set one in front of Monica before opening my own.
Monica watched me take a sip, smirking a little. "Want me to teach you how to shotgun it?"
She taught Cooper before. He threw up after.
"I'll pass." I said, taking another normal sip.
Monica shrugged before taking a large gulp of her own. "So, love, huh? Why do you ask? Is this about Cooper?"
I nearly choked on the beer, causing my throat to burn maliciously as I coughed up a lung. "What—"
"Got it, blog girl." Monica nodded, looking genuinely disinterested in the whole conversation. "You guys fucking yet?"
"No!" I bristled, still a bit stuck on the Cooper comment. I decided to push that one to the back of my mind for now. "We just...we've been going out a week, we've been on like three dates and they're...fine." I trailed off weakly.
Monica chuckled. "Wow, bringing out the f-word, huh?"
I rolled my eyes. "Look, I just- I've never dated before, but I've been into Nina for as long as I can remember and it's like- now that I'm dating her, it's just not...I don't know. It's not what I expected."
"What were you expecting?" She raised an eyebrow at me.
"I..." I found myself at a loss. What had I been expecting? I thought about going out with Nina for so long, but I never really thought about what that would mean when I got there. "I don't know." I told her honestly.
Monica's face morphed into something surprisingly subdued. Her eyes drifted down to her beer can. "Maybe you just liked the chase."
"What?"
She shrugged. "Some guys like the challenge of trying to get the girl more than the girl herself. Now that you have her, the feelings are gone."
"It's not that they're gone," I protested, looking down. "They're just...not nearly as strong as I thought they would be."
"It's only been a week," she reasoned. "It might be a little soon to be fretting over this shit. Shouldn't you be telling all this junk to Cooper?"
I sighed. "Cooper...has his own problems." I rested my head in my arms on the table. "His dad is back in town and...I'm really worried about him."
I couldn't see Monica's expression, but she went awfully quiet for a moment.
"You should be more patient with yourself." She said finally, making me look at her. "Feelings aren't that black and white. If you don't know what you want, then take some time and figure it out."
I resisted the urge to roll my eyes. She said that like it was easy. Like I wasn't already trying to do that.
"Stop acting like this shit with you and Nina was written in the stars. There is always the chance it's not what's meant to be." She told me firmly. "If it happens, great, congrats. You got a wife. But if it doesn't, is your world really going to end? 'Cause if it is, what the hell are you wasting time talking to me for? Go talk to her."
Though I loathed to admit it, Monica was making a lot of sense. Waiting around for my relationship to just make sense wasn't going to work.
And waiting around for Cooper to get in touch wasn't going to work either. If I wanted to be there for him, then I should be there.
With a new rush of determination in my veins, I couldn't help smiling. "Thanks, Mon."
"Hmm." Monica hummed a little before reaching over and taking my beer can, shaking it around a little and scoffing. "This shit is wasted on you. Now get out of here. I have a date with the TV and I'd like some privacy."
For once, Monica's sass didn't bother me like usual, so I didn't argue.
I hurried up to my room and prepared to text Nina.
It was time to take control of my life.