And suddenly, all of my doubts and questions disappeared. Just by feeling his touch, his lips on mine.
Nothing brought me peace, mad me feel quite as insane, or as deeply as he did.
He strongly wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close to him. I wrapped my arms around his neck and felt the world around me melt.
This time, we didn't belong to anyone else. This time is was right and we weren't hurting anyone. This wasn't a stolen kiss, it was finally our time.
He squeezed my hips and pulled back to look at me. I couldn't help but to smile, like an idiot.
"That's it." He winked and went to leave.
"What?" I laughed in confusion.
"We're actually trying, yn." and just like that he left.
I starred at my door is disbelief. Mattheo, passing up sex?! Unheard of.
It wasn't like we never did it before, Merlin knows we've done it too many times. But he actually walked out?
I guess we really were giving it our all.
I was more than okay with that.
Frustrated, but okay.
I ignored how obviously flushed I was and headed to dinner, and for the first time, in a long time, the group felt like normal again. Laughing, playing, joking.
All of us, together.
Mattheo.🚫
7:03 p.m
Me
How am I supposed to eat dinner
When your sitting across from me
Looking like that
Mattheo.🚫
Like what?
Me
Like that
Not fair.
Mattheo.🚫
I always look like this pretty girl.
Me
I know
But idk
Something about it rn
Mattheo.🚫
Not going to work
We're trying
For real
Me
I cannot believe these words
Mattheo.🚫
I don't want to fuck us up again okay?
Me
Why is it so different this time?
Mattheo.🚫
Because I can't loose you again.
I felt my cheeks glowing, and I let out a half smile and looked up at Mattheo, who already has his eyes on me, with a very serious face on.
Something was wrong.
It was going too right.
My life never worked so well.
I ignored the red flags and decided it was fine for me to live in the moment.
We all headed back to the common room for a chill night in.
Stories
Pansy story
Yn story
Theos story.
We were all hanging in the common room, we agreed we to try and help each other study, but of course, that never happen.
NEWTS we're just a month away, and it was important we all passed in order to progress to the next year.
It felt so weird to think about, going to the next year. It would be our last year. The only true place I ever called home.
I wondered where I would go after. What my life would look like, a year from now.
It scared me senseless. I never gave it much thought, I'm just a kid. Until I'm not. Until I need to figure it out.
The boys quickly pulled me out of my thoughts, joking about how whenever Draco talks to a girl, he makes this funny face. Which I knew was true, but watching him try to deny it, was the best thing I ever saw.
I was deep in laughter, when I felt my phone vibrate.
Anthony.
9:04 p.m
Anthony
It feels weird not talking to you
And not sitting with guy during dinner
I'm sorry if this text is weird
I just was so used to talking to you all the time
Me
I know
I agree
But we said friends.
Anthony
Friends.
I don't know if to can be just friends with you, yn.
Me
I told you it's what's best for us right now
I can't drag you through my shit Anthony
You don't deserve it
Anthony
The sad thing is
I would've let you.
Me
I know you would've.
But it's what you deserve.
Anthony
You didn't say no before
About Mattheo.
I'm sorry I have to ask.
Me
I've never done anything with him
He's a close friend
One or my closest
Anthony
That still isn't a no
Me
I care about you Anthony
Deeply
Truly
Anthony
But you care about him more
Me
I never said that
Anthony
I know
But I could tell
I'm sorry I texted
I'll see you around.
(Read.)
My heart sunk. I felt horribly again. I was knocked off the high I was just riding on. I felt like the worst person in the world.
"Yn! Hello!" Enzo was screaming my name.
"Huh?" I snapped my head up from my phone.
"I've been calling your name for like five minutes?" Mattheos eyes grew empty.
I knew the look.
"I'm sorry, what's up?" I shook my head.
"I asked if you can go get the lighter? In my draw? Next to my bed?" He pointed up the stairs.
"Oh yeah. Sure." I stood, shaking my head.
The whole way to his dorm, I just kept remembering what I was putting Anthony through, and it just didn't feel right.
I also remembered I haven't been in Mattheos room since my last bad breakdown, months ago.
I opened the door and his sent filled my nose. I let out a quick smile and walked to the drawer, opening it and grabbing the lighter from right where he said it'd be.
I was half way out of the door when something on his desk caught my eye.
I slowly walked over to it, examining it.
What the fuck...