꧁❦꧂
I wake up with a pounding headache, I groan and push my matte black comforter off of me, stumbling out of my bed, pushing my messy curls from my face.
After I got John b to the chateau I went home, I snuck through my window, which was relevantly easy sense I do it all the time.
I didn't talk to JJ sense he shot off the gun, which is extremely unusual for us.
I was tipsy, my mind was fuzzy, and John b was bleeding, he passed out. And that, that scared the living shit out of me, and not much can do that.
And, Pope and Kiara have been spamming my phone all morning, apparently we need to meet up at John b's for all of us to talk.
I groan once again and run my hands through my hair, I stumble to my bathroom, shutting the door behind me with my foot.
I struggle to take my clothes off, last nights clothes. I guess I forgot to change to. Fuck.
I mange to get my clothes off before taking a hot shower, my hair needed throughly washing, there was sand in it still from the fight. I guess I crashed in bed right when I got home.
Home.
I step out the shower and wrap a towel around me, pulling it just above my chest.
I inhale a deep breath before grabbing another towel from underneath the cabinet, drying my hair with it before throwing it into the hamper beside my bathroom door.
I stand in front of the bathroom mirror, my hands gripping the sides of the sink.
I groan, letting go.
'Pretending to hate me?'
Why won't his words get out of my head. What did he mean? I hate that I can't get it out of my head, I hate him.
I open the bathroom door, trying to push them thoughts from my head as I walk back inside my room.
I open my walk closet, walking inside as I drop my towel, changing into a white two piece bikini, throwing one of JJ's white and grey striped button up flannels that I stole from him on over the bathing suit top. I throw on blue jean shorts that go just below my thighs.
I yawn and step out of my closet, I walk back inside my room, beside my bed.
My black curly locks air dry, so I ruffle my hair, scrunching it a bit before grabbing my sunglasses on my bedside table and putting them on my head, I put on the bracelet JJ got me and a golden necklace then slip on socks and my converses.
I absolutely adore the bracelet JJ got me, we were fourteen. It was my birthday, and of course JJ always goes all out, he threw a boneyard party for me, it was quite amazing, and I love him for it. And that night, we sat by the beach after everyone left, he slipped it out of his pocket, and put it on my wrist.
I smile at the thought as I slip my ring on my thumb before I grab my phone off the bed and my motorcycle keys from my bedside table, slipping it into my back pocket before rushing out of my room, closing my door behind me.
I rush downstairs, my shoes hitting the stairs with a loud thump every step.
I creep through the hallway that leads to the kitchen, I immediately hear my Mum and Da's voice, along with my brothers, Luke.
I internally groan. Fuck.
I blow out a heavy breath before I lean against the kitchen doorframe. I evert my eyes from my Mum and Da, looking over at my brother who's sat at the kitchen island on a stool, eating cereal.
I missed him.
I'm guessing they heard me come down because da turns his head to look at me.
I shift uncomfortably on my feet, leaning my head against the frame.
I could practically feel my Da's glare on me, I could see him standing beside mum at the kitchen sink from the corner of my eye.
I catch a glimpse of my Da's short black hair, the same color as mine.
I thought they'd be at work by now, I guess bloody fucking not.
I bite the inside of my cheek hard enough to pull blood.
Fuck.
"Princess." My Da pauses, counting his fingers dramatically like bleeding always, "I'd say you were gone almost a week, no?" His deep British voice concludes.
My Mum stays quiet.
I know not to answer, because if I do it'll either be 'smart' or something he just doesn't want to fucking hear.
That's his excuse every time when I leave with a hand print on my cheek or a bruise on me.
I hear my brother Luke sigh deeply under his breath, throwing me a soft glance over his shoulder.
I twist my ring on my thumb. My stomach flipping.
I finally look over at my parents. My Mum had her phone in her hand, not paying attention to anything, or any one of us.
Her long brown hair down her shoulders, as she pushed strands from her face not sparing me a glance.
Not once did she glance at me sense I came down to the kitchen.
"Do you even care to call anymore? Let us know where you are? We are your parents. Is it so hard to call?" He continues as he blows out a heavy breath while shaking his head, his short hair follows the movements.
I swallow harshly.
I did. I texted Mum almost every fucking day letting her know where I was. But he knows that, he just wants any fucking excuse to yell at his 'princess.'
I twist my ring over and over, my lips twitching to say something, fucking anything.
"Da, come on.." My brother murmurs, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked down at his food.
He always try's to take up for me. I know that.
My Da doesn't spare my brother a glance as he keeps his eyes on me.
Fuck.
I blow out a breath I didn't know I was holding in, "I promise I did. I texted mum, she told me she told you where I was. I—"
My mouth snaps shut as my Da moves before I could blink an eye, his hand connects with my cheek making my face snap to the side harshly.
I hiss out a breath, my cheek tingles.
I don't know how to keep my mouth shut.
My stomach turns.
Fuck. Why do I always have to say something.
I clench my jaw, the slaps don't hurt anymore. They don't even bloody sting.
But I just take it. I stand there and fucking take the hit. Because that's all I can ever do. It's all I ever fucking do.
My throat bobs as tears build behind my eyes, I never let them fall. I will never give him the satisfaction of seeing me cry.
He retreats back beside Mum, taking long strides, his hands clasped together as if what he did never happened.
I swallow a harsh breath.
My brother glances at me before glancing at my da, dangerous anger burning in his eyes. "Da, what the bleeding hell?" My brothers usually soft voice harshly raises.
He can't do anything, he never can. I know that.
"Quiet, Luke." Da points a finger at him, his wide jaw clenched.
I turn my head to Luke, shaking my head. I don't want him to get involved.
He gives me sorrow eyes, his jaw clenched as he looks at my face.
He runs his fingers though his dark black hair that falls right on his forehead, his brown eyes sparkling. Luke and I always looked the same, we had the same futures, his hair was the same color as mine along with his eyes. He was only a two months older then me.
I love him, more then myself. I would do anything for him. Absolutely bloody anything. We always protect each other, that's one of our rules.
I close my eyes for a quick moment to control my breaths.
I take even, long breaths before finally opening my eyes.
My eyes fall on my Da as he opens his mouth to speak once again.
"We have dinner with the Cameron's tonight, I expect you to be there." My Da says, his brown eyes on me, speaking as if he didn't just slap me.
Hit me.
Da's words grave themselves into my head.
This just got so much bleeding worse.
Cameron's.
Rafe. His words, how I ran. Fuck.
I snap my eyes to my brother once my Da's words finally sink through.
He scrunches his eyebrows.
"Sis, I'm bleeding sorry. I meant to tell ya' I didn't know you would be home this soon." His voice was patronizing, his eyes on my face with sorrow.
He always warns me before.
Going to dinner with the Cameron's is not new, it's been happening sense I was twelve, well old enough to remember, and it's not pleasant.
Luke stands up from his stool, leaning against the white marble island, his front facing me as he held up his hands defensively.
I swear to merlin he looks taller.
I shake my head, blowing out a sigh.
I couldn't get out of this even if he did warn me, I knew that. But I'd bloody hell try. I've managed to not come home a few times when we're having dinner with the Cameron's, but that was just painful, because when they got home I got a new bruise on my cheek from my Da.
I cringe at the thought as I nod softly at my brother, he warns me almost every time and I can't be mad he didn't once, it's my fault for not telling him I'd be home.
"I love you, I'll see you later?" I mouth to my brother slowly, making sure he caught it.
He nods softly, swallowing harshly as he tilted his head to the side, already knowing what I'm about to do, "I love you too, little sis.." He mouths back slowly.
I muster up a smile as I bite my lower lip, I take a step back from the kitchen doorway, thinking this through, I can't go. I can't look at Rafe, I won't. I fucking will not.
And I will not stay here either. Not right now. Not after he hit me, again.
"Princess, don't you dare take another step." My Da points his finger at me, completely dismissing his earlier actions.
Cameron's.
Dinner.
Da.
Mum.
How can he just dismiss what he just did like that? Act like it never happen?
Act as if he brings up dinner with the Cameron's It will completely dismiss his actions.
Hit me.
The smacks, bruises replay in my mind.
It happens every time and my Mum never says a fucking thing, though she'll try to comfort me after I come back home.
My brother tries. He always does and I love him dearly for that.
I shake my head, my eyes burning. But I don't dare say anything else incase he tries to hit
me worse for saying something he doesn't like.
My jaw clenched. I ball my hands by my side.
I turn on my heal, walking out of kitchen not sparing them another glance.
I fucking hate coming back.
Da's either treating me like I'm his princess or being completely and utterly despicable towards me.
It's always one or another.
But I need JJ.
And I'm sure as fuck not going to that dinner.
"You get your arse back here!" My Da shouts, I hear his hands hit the kitchen island.
I can hear my brother trying to scold him for his earlier actions.
"Oh, and Da. I swear to bleeding merlin, if I see you lay your hands on my sister one more time." I hear my brother say harshly, I can almost picture my brother running his hands through his hair, a constant habit of his.
My da won't listen. He never does. He never bloody does.
But of course my Mum is quiet the whole time.
And when I come back he will either be the same or have completely forgotten that it even happen, giving me money, trying to bribe my forgiveness without asking for it. It's this way every time I come home. I hate it.
I hate coming back here.
I look down at my marble floor, my eyes burning as I dash out the front door, slamming it shut behind me as I rush to my motorcycle that's parked outside of the garage.
I slip my helmet on and grab the keys from my jean pocket. I slip them in the ignition and hurry to get on my bike before my Da comes out here.
I rem the engine before driving to the front golden gate. I type in the code in the keypad, my birthday. Once it's open enough for me to slip through, I speed up, getting out of there before I say or do something.
Rafe.
Dinner.
Da.
༻✧༇
I arrive at John b's in the small outside den me and my group had made to keep us busy last summer.
I walk in and I'm immediately barbered with a hug from JJ, I can smell the weed on him. I let out a small chuckle and hug him back, my arms around his waist as he digs his face in my shoulder, leaning down.
I feel his breath fanning my collar bone.
I sigh and pull him closer.
He wraps his arms around my shoulders, Inhaling my scent.
I smile warmly at the rest of my friends, John b was standing behind Pope, walking back and forth in deep thought. Kiara was drumming her fingers against two bongo drums, making small rhythms. And Pope was reading some comic book, sitting in a chair, as they looked over at me and JJ.
I pull away slowly, gripping his jaw as I press a small kiss to his cheek.
His breath hitches.
His eyes search mine.
"Miss me?" I whisper softly, tilting my head to the side with a soft smile.
He nods, repeatedly. "You have no idea." He whispers back, softy. His gorgeous eyes gazing into mine, his hands cup my sides as he lays his head in my shoulder, his body hunched over.
"Hey, I was gone for one night." I say with a chuckle, rubbing his back softly.
I missed him too.
Luckily the slap didn't mark my face.
It hurts, not my cheek. My fucking heart. It shouldn't, but it does. Because I still can not comprehend why he does this. Am I that horrible?
I have to be for him to hit me.
He scoffs in my shoulder knocking me out of thought, "One night too long." He mumbles into my neck, like I just said the most outrageous thing.
His blond curls rub the back of my neck.
I roll my eyes playfully, pushing him away from me just a bit, he pulls his head from my shoulder, keeping his hands on my hip, caressing circles.
"Are you mad at me too?" He whispers, so low, that I could barley hear him. His eyes search mine, as his lips pull into a big pout.
His eyes filled with genuine worry.
My heart thumps, warming.
I shake my head and pull him back into my frame, "No. I'm not, you did what you thought was right." I whisper, my lips just above his ear.
He nods into my shoulder. "Thank fuck. I don't know what I would've done if you were mad at me, my Mae." He whispered into my shoulder.
How could I be mad? He did something he thought was protecting us. I would have done the same have I remembered I brought the gun until he pressed it to Toppers head.
I pull a grin on my lips and pull away from the hug, "Hey, bad things have good outcomes all the time." I say, tilting my head.
His eyes sparkle as a smile pulls at the corner of his lips.
"Okay. What about us? We missed you too, you know?" Kiara grumbled, her hands crossed over her chest, as she leans back.
JJ rolls his eyes, his lips pull into a thin line as he glares at Kiara.
I smack his shoulder playfully.
He rubs it with a pout. "That was so nice of you, Mae mae." He said, sarcastically.
"You're welcome." I say, which he shoves my shoulder.
I laugh.
I walk past him, behind Pope, wrapping my arms around his shoulder, hugging him from behind,"Hi, P." I say, flicking the top of his hat.
"Hi, Mae mae." He says, looking up at me, smiling.
His eyes sparkle.
I smile softly before pulling away, I turn to John b, "Jb, are you okay? You got a little something" I circle my eye with my index finger. "Right there." I bite back my tongue to stop from laughing.
His mouth parts, before he shoves my shoulder, "I love you, too, A." He spoke softly. Then, rolls his eyes.
I shrug with a laugh, as the rest of my group laughs too.
I wish I was always here, they make my horrible day ten times better.
"You didn't get hurt, right?" John b says, changing the subject, his voice laced with worry.
He's talking about last night.
I shake my head. "No, I'm okay." I lie, giving him a reassuring smile. He nods, though his eyes are still filled with worry.
Mental note; to not mention my back hurts from how hard I landed when I pulled Topper off him.
I rush past Pope who's eyes followed me as I plopped down beside Kiara, "Have they did anything daft yet?" I ask with a sigh. As I lay my head back on her shoulder.
The boys groan. Mainly JJ, who's eyes don't leave me.
"Not yet, you came just in time," She teased, as she ruffled my curly hair.
I twist my ring on my thumb as I lean back on the couch with Kiara. She twirls my curls as she drums her fingers on her leg with her other hand.
"Look, I'm callin' it off. All right?" John b spoke out of the blue, deterring all of our attention to him.
I sat up, leaning forward putting my elbows on my knees, my chin in my hands.
JJ moves around Pope, sitting on a broken table as he aimlessly threw broken stones. He turned his head, looking at John b.
"Peterkin said, if I say out of the marsh she'll help me with the DCS." He further explained.
His words earned a small scoff from my JJ, who had turned fully around to face us. I raised my eyebrows, switching my gaze from
John b to JJ.
"And you believe her?" JJ scoffed, as he watched my eyes turn to his, ignoring our other friends gazes. I knew how this was going to end, all of us did. It happens way too much.
"Yes, I believe her, JJ." John b retorted, furrowing his eyebrows.
I swallow harshly, moving my hands from my face as I twist my ring on my thumb.
"An actual cop, John b. You believed a cop." JJ chuckled sarcastically, moving his eyes from mine as he threw another stone from where he was sitting.
I groan, leaning back into the seat again as I continued to twist my ring.
"All I gotta do is stay out of the marsh for a couple days and she'll help me out." John b attempted to tell my best friend.
"And it doesn't help that your ass was the who was shooting the gun." He let his voice get louder, as he tossed a stick to the side of him.
My lips part, as I glance at my JJ.
JJ helped John b, Topper was going to drown him. Me and JJ helped.
We helped.
I twist my ring.
Over and over.
"You know what I should have done, man?" My blond best friend retorted, "I should have just let Topper drown your ass." JJ seethed.
I looked over at Kiara who was sat beside me, her hand paused twirling around my curl as her face rolled up.
I know he didn't mean it, he just says stuff in the heat of the moment. I do too.
"Yeah, because Topper was going to drown me?" John b said sarcastically, earning a shrug from me.
"Sure looked like it." JJ remarked, shaking his head, his eyes on John b as he made his way to the rest of us under the shelter.
"Funny."
"I mean, have you looked in the mirror?" JJ used his index finger like I did earlier to indicate the fresh black eye on John b that stuck out horribly.
I shake my head, my eyes going back and forth between JJ and John b.
"Go on, tell me some more." John b sarcastically encouraged JJ to keep going.
Bad move, Jb. Bad fucking move.
I clocked my head to look at JJ as he rested his raised arm against the wooden beam to support himself.
"They always win don't they man?" JJ squinted his eyes slightly as a fake grin played on his lips, a slight confrontational stare down between them.
"Kooks versus pogues, they always—" I kept my eyes on JJ, It was clear it was getting to him, as he averted his eyes between me and John b.
His eyes looked at me flashing with hurt, "They always win!" JJ exclaimed, using his balled fist to harshly hit the sea fishing ball that hung next to him.
"Hey— JJ, calm down, it's okay." Kiara says, trying to break down the tension between my two boys.
I shake my head knowing her words won't help.
He shook his head, "No... no it's not okay, Kiara!" He spoke harshly, loudly, his voice broke a tad. As he whipped his body back around to face us.
His eyes stay fixated on me, not sparing a glance towards Kiara.
I sigh lowly.
JJ never raises his voice with me, sense we met he never has, though if he ever does it's playfully, he's just never done it.
"It's not, they don't want us going down into the marsh. That means there's something valuable down there." He pondered his eyes around to the rest of our friends.
I nod, I agree, I will always agree with him. But I think he's actually right this time though.
"And you know it." He looked at John b, raising his finger to point at him, almost creating an accusation.
"I know you do, and I understand why you don't want to go." He turned his attention to Pope who let a sigh escape his lips.
"You're the golden boy. You got way to much to risk. And you—" He finished as he turned his attention from Pope to Kiara, who scrunched her nose up, waiting for the words.
"And you, I mean, you're already rich as fuck anyway." His voice seemed slightly patronizing, Kiara turned her head to me, her face screwed up as she shook her head.
She took her finger from my hair, clasping her hands together.
I sigh, twisting my ring again. Not meeting her eyes as I turn my gaze to JJ.
JJ sighed, shaking his head. "Why would you bother?" He asked Kiara, who shook her head, her brown curls falling to the side.
JJ turned his eyes to me, his gorgeous blue eyes, sad, crashing with my brown doe ones, "But you, Mae? Oh, we're stuck together, so either fucking way you're coming." He spoke with a sad chuckle, I tilt my head to the side, giving him a smile, so wide I knew my dimples were showing.
I was going no matter what. I'll always be by his side.
"Always." I mouth to him, slowly. Though I'm not sure if he caught it.
Always.
He bites the inside of his cheek, preventing his smile. He nods, repeatedly. His eyes moving to my mouth, seeing my smile, which makes him smile.
Our friends stares at us, dumbfounded, they know how we are though.
JJ forcefully takes his eyes away from mine, looking at John b. "We have nothing to lose, man. We really don't." JJ spoke once again to John b who seemed upset.
"We really don't, all right." My blond best friend continued.
"JJ-" John b mumbled, in a failed attempt to shut JJ up.
"And I know it didn't use to be that way for you." JJ said, referring to big Johns disappearance.
My heart ached as I heard JJ. I knew big John for almost my whole life. Until one day he was just gone. And that took a big tole on us.
"I don't want to talk about this, I don't want to talk about it." John b's voice became mellow and low at the mention of his father, as he exchanged glances with me and JJ for a moment.
"What, so that's it?-" JJ questioned him, earning a heavy shove in the shoulder by John b.
"Just get out of my way man!" John b stammered, his hands roughly colliding against JJ's shirt to move him out of his way.
I start to get up before Kiara grabbed my hand, pulling me back down.
Fuck.
This holding me down shit has to stop.
JJ stumbled back, grabbing ahold of the string hanging from above him to keep his balance as he stumbled back, meanwhile John b stepped out, anxiously running his hand over his hair.
My hands burn as I clenched them, digging my nails in my hand, pulling my hand from Kiara's hand as I sit back beside her.
"John b, listen to me. I have a plan." JJ announced, as John b just shook his head.
I unclench my fist at his words.
"Is it the one me and you came up with at the boneyard?" I ask, leaning my head back as my eyebrows scrunched together.
Though we were tipsy when we though of it, so it might not sound so good now as it did before. What am I saying, every plan we come up with is great.
JJ pointed his finger at me, nodding before following John b's movements.
Kiara and Pope give us confused glances.
"You got the keys to Cameron's big boat right?" JJ asks, and it was clear John b knew what are intentions were for he began to instantly dismiss our ideas.
"No, JJ, Mae—"
I bite my lower lip, slapping my hands to my knees dramatically, "Come on, Jb, at least hear us out, yeah?" I say, exchanging glances with Kie and Pope.
JJ nodded towards me, his hand on John b's shoulder. "There's scuba gear inside man." JJ told John b, his voice full of confidence, he was sure, so was I.
"We just borrow that, and then go down to the wreck this afternoon, and that is what is going to save you, mate." I finished after JJ from beside Kiara, snapping my fingers.
John b glanced back at me over JJ's arm, shaking his head, his eyebrows creased.
I groan, throwing my head back against the couch I was sitting on, earning a chuckle from Pope.
"You don't see rich kids going to foster care, do you?" JJ continued after me, shaking John b's shoulder.
John b rolled his eyes, pulling away from JJ as he nodded hesitantly.
He's in. Thankfully.
"Just so you guys know, If we get arrested." Pope began, pointing to me who was looking at him with a soft smile.
He keeps his eyes on me, standing up, "I'm only bailing Mae mae out." He clarified, putting his comic book down on the seat he was sitting in.
Pope had a sparkle in his eyes, to which JJ scoffed, shaking his head.
"That would never happen." JJ remarked under his breath, making me shake my head. "Cause I'd stall the cops while she got away." He shoved Pope's shoulder playfully as he walked past him.
꧁𖦹꧂
𝐈 𝐡𝐨𝐩𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐨𝐧𝐞, 𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐝𝐢𝐝.
Also, Aria? I think i'm in love with her.
💋