I could tell by Anthony's reply he didn't believe me, and I can't say I blamed him for it. Not one bit. I should've used my head before I sent that message. I should've used my head before I got my self into this mess in the first place.
I threw my hand over my face. I wanted to scream as loud as my lungs would allow. I wanted to cry.
"What happen?" Pansy looked over, sitting up on her bed.
"I just thanked Anthony. For flowers. That weren't from him." I huffed, brining my eyes to hers.
"Mattheo texted me to open to the door last night, he said he forgot something. I opened it and went back to bed. They have to be from him." She said with a shrug.
"You couldn't led with that, Pansy." Attitude spewed.
"How was I suppose to know you would assume they were from Anthony? Or that they could've been from anyone else? How am I supposed to know anything when we haven't spoken?!" Her voice raised.
"YOU haven't spoken to me since we read the message. You got so offended I didn't want to tell Mattheo! Like it was your life!" I stood up, "and like I told you the other night, I did! And now my life is fucking falling apart!"
"Oh so you're mad at me for wanting you to be happy?!" She stood.
"I was happy! I was fine until I saw the message!" I shrugged my shoulders at her.
"Because that message made you feel something! I seen it on your face. I've always seen it, I would be a horrible friend if I sat there and didn't tell you to speak to Mattheo. So I'm sorry, but I seen your face. I seen right through it." She crossed her arms.
"We'll look at my mess now." I shook my head and looked down at my feet, "I'm fucked."
"I'm here for you, and you know that. I always have been." She walked towards me, "now can I please be your friend again and help you unfuck your life?" A small laugh and a smile appeared on her face.
"I don't think Merlin himself could help me, but I would love for you to help me pans." I sighed pulling her into a hug.
And if everything else was falling apart, at least I finally had Pansy back. On our walk to our first class, I caught her up on everything, watching as her jaw fell closer and closer to the floor with each passing sentence.
She couldn't believe was I was physically telling her, let alone that Mattheo ever fully admitted those things to my face. I could tell by the look in her eyes she didn't have any piece of advice for me.
I took my seat at desk, and waited to see Anthony walk through the door, and when he finally did, he kept his back towards me and sat at his desk.
Fuck.
This isn't how this was supposed to go.
🐍
9:16 a.m
Dray🐇
Riddle
You have to relax your face
It'd be a shame if it got stuck like that
Mattheo.🚫
???
Dray🐇
Theo🤌🏼
LMFAOOOOAOA
Mattheo.🚫
Eat glass
Me
That's my thing
Mattheo.🚫
Yeah?
Me
Yeah
I literally always say it?
Mattheo.🚫
Hm
Mine now
Me
Don't think so
Mattheo.🚫
So so something about it.
Enzo🅱️
Hi
We're all here
Dray🐇
WOAH
Theo🤌🏼
I don't like this
LMFAOOO
Enzo🅱️
Dray🐇
WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT
Enzo🅱️
Me
Idk
Had to change convo
Me
LMFAOOOO
pansssss
Merlin
When we were finally dismissed I waited for Anthony outside the class room.
"Anthony!" I shouted as he clearly turned to walk the other way.
"What?" He turned to face me.
"Did I do something wrong?" He was very stand off ish. I didn't like it.
"No." He scoffed.
"I clearly did?" I stepped back.
"I'm just trying to figure out how you didn't know Pansy gave you flowers when she's your roommate? And what fight did you even have with her?" He leaned down to me.
Shit. I never told him about Pansy and I's fight.
Yeah we fought about how I wouldn't tell Mattheo I knew he was in love with me. So sorry.
"We got into a fight a week ago, about how she never listens to me? I told you this. And I woke up first, as usual." I tried to put a straight face on, so he would believe me.
"I think I'd remember you fighting with your best friend." He scoffed.
"What are you implying then Anthony?" I crossed my arms.
"Nothing. We'll talk later." He shook his head and walked away from me, leaving me alone in the corridor.
Enzo🅱️
10:29 a.m
Enzo🅱️
I'm free this hour too
Meet me by the lake?
Me
Yes please
I have so much to fill you in on.
Enzo🅱️
You know where to find me
Yn story.
Enzo was just as shocked as Pansy. I couldn't believe I was telling him all of this. I never imagined that I would ever confess to anyone the truth of Mattheo and I. I never thought there would be a Mattheo and I. But it was clear.
"Well," he started, picking up his bag as we headed back to the castle, "I think you need to call it quits with Anthony. Even if you're not with Matt, you're stringing him along. You need to think. And you need to be alone to think."
"You're right." I threw my head back, "I just don't know how to end it with out it looking like I'm leaving him for someone else, plus he's already all worked up from the flowers. He's suspicious."
"Yes he is. Just tell him you need to be alone. You need to think, it's a lot. Blame it on your mommy issues." He shrugged.
"Oh! You're one to talk!" I laughed.
"That's why we're friends, duh." He pushed me.
"Thank you Enz." I smiled up at him, "seriously."
"Shut it. Just be careful." He softly smiled, "I'll fight riddle if I have too, but I prefer not too." He winked, "let's go we're going to be late."
As I followed him to class, I grabbed my phone from my bag.
Ant🤍
11:51 a.m
Me
Hi
I think we should talk after classes are through today?
Ant🤍
Yeah that's for the best.
I'll pick you up from your last class.
Me
Okay
I'll see you then.
Anticipation ate at me the rest of the day. I knew what I had to do. And it wasn't even for Mattheo, it was for myself.
It wasn't right to Anthony, and I knew that, and he deserved so much better than what I was giving him. I just had no idea how to word my self to not make me appear as horrible as I truly was.
I swallowed hard as I seen Anthony appear outside of my last class.
It's now, or never.
"Let's go by the courtyard, it's beautiful out." He nodded at me to follow him, as he started walking.
We stayed silent until we sat, under the warm sun slowing rolling in for spring.
"Look," he huffed, "I know you've been off, I don't know why, but I noticed a long time ago. I thought it could be your mom or something, but I know it's not. I know you're unhappy, and I don't want to hold you back." He looked over at me.
My heart sank, i wasn't ready for this.
"It's nothing you did. You are quite literally the best boyfriend I've ever had. The best person I know," I corrected my self, "I'm just... fucked up. In the head, in my life. I don't want you drag you into my darkness and habits. I self destruct and sabotage myself." I shook my head, "you're too good for me to do this to you. You don't deserve it. I just... I need to be alone." A tear slipped from the corner of my eye.
"Do not cry," he huffed as he pulled me in for a hug, "I understand. And I want you to know I am here for you, I'm a text or a call always." He squeezed a little harder, "I do deeply care about you."
"I care about you too!" I quickly replied, "Merlin please don't think I don't. It's because I care about you, that I need to do this."
"Well," he let me go, placing a hand on my thigh, "I'll be here, if when you're done working through things, you want to try again, or just be friends. I don't want to loose you completely."
I heard my heart break, he was too fucking good.
I stood up, wiping another tear, "you're too good hearted Anthony, I'm not going anywhere. I'm here for you."
I started to walk away.
"Yn?" He stood up after me.
"Hm?" I turned back to him.
"It's Mattheo, isn't it?" He half smiled.
My heart dropped, onto the floor.
"What?" My eye brows shot up.
"I think everyone could see it, but you two." He nodded, "either way, I always wish you the best and I mean what I said."
I just nodded and walked away from him. I couldn't believe I just did that. And what the fuck did he mean everyone could see it?
I pulled out my phone.
🐍
4:04 p.m
Me
Where is everyone?
Theo🤌🏼
Common room
You coming?
Me
On my way
Mattheo.🚫
4:07 p.m
Me
I did it.
I broke up with him.
I'm still beyond pissed at you, but I wanted you to know first.
I'm on my way to the common room.
When I walked in, the first person I noticed missing, was Mattheo.
"Hey guys," I causally sat, "where's Matt?" I mostly looked at Enzo and Pansy.
"Uh," Theo looked up from his textbook, "last seen him leaving potions with Greengrass."
What the fuck did I just do.